View Single Post
Old 05-13-2019, 09:23 AM
Machinaforce is offline
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 1,538
Originally Posted by kanicbird View Post
That sounds very much like a 'calling', it has it's purpose, though one can resist, but the resistance to a calling is what is living the lie.

I would suggest seeking different aspects of Buddhism, there are many variations and many aspects of it to explore. The parts you have already explored don't hold your attention. It may be just part of your own life which is trying to change.
A calling isnít rooted in fear and paranoia. Bear in mind Iím afraid Iím wrong and living a lie mostly because Buddhism says so. And there is a notion in the West of Buddhism as ďdifferentĒ from others. Itís what makes it hard to let go unlike other religions.

I donít know why either, the way their advice gets framed sometimes sounds like anything but compassion and makes you feel bad for just being human.

Like this one part I read some where: ďThe cause are mental fabrications that fabricate loneliness. Stop fabricating mental fabrications that fabricate loneliness. In your case, if you're using social media to ease loneliness, it's like postponing the resolution of suffering to a latter date. Instead of focusing on the cause of your loneliness, you're focusing on social media. You think you need social media to ease loneliness. In reality you most probably don't need social media ... you just need to get rid of loneliness. Once you'll get rid of loneliness, you'll probably stop spending time on social media.
What you're experiencing is normal suffering due to loneliness. Psychologists will tell you it's normal as long as it does not interfere negatively on your physical or mental health. Most people do something to ease feelings of loneliness (make new friends, read, do sports, watch TV, ..). But that's not curing loneliness. It's like having a disease and alleviating its symptoms. This is no different than being depressive and drinking alcohol to ease the depression. Off course it's not dysfunctional as drinking alcohol, but the mechanism is the same: you suffer, and instead of resolving your main problems which are the cause of your suffering, you're postponing their resolution to a later date.Ē

It makes me feel bad for being lonely and wanting friends. Like thatís some kind of disease. It makes the assumption that my life sucked when really my life was pretty good before it.