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Old 06-18-2019, 12:13 AM
Green Bean is offline
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: NJ, Exit #137
Posts: 12,090
I think what many here may not understand is the difference between a helpful man and an overly helpful man.

Women know from experience that a man that insists on helping is often up to no good. What “no good” consists of varies widely. Could be that he’s trying to get sex. Could be that he’s trying to make himself feel big by making the woman feel small. (Have no fear, damsel! The white knight is here to save your helpless ass!) Could be a lot if things, and it could be nothing, but it’s definitely a red flag.

So the the fact that the OP didn’t even give the woman the option of saying no set off a lot of warning bells. Again, this is based on experience with men who have done comparable things.

It doesn’y seem that the OP had any nefarious motives, but the red flags were flying high nevertheless.

Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
Neither you nor Ultra Vires is very funny with how you minimize the fears of women.
One can only assume that many of these folks haven’t read The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker.

He starts with a horrifying story that illustrates how a man used “helping” as a way to maneuver a woman into a situation where he could rape and murder her. She got away while he was rummaging around for a butcher knife.

It is an extreme example, but it really makes the point.