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Old 05-14-2019, 06:35 PM
Manda JO is offline
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Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 11,694
Originally Posted by Lamoral View Post
Why is there so much emphasis here on crying? Crying isn't something that's normal or ideal for anyone. If you're crying, it means something really bad happened. Really, really bad, not just "bad." It is not something that people should ideally be doing on a regular basis.

A woman who regularly starts crying is going to be looked at as emotionally fragile and possibly disturbed, just like a man. I don't know any women who DON'T find it embarrassing and undesirable to be seen crying.
Crying is pretty normal for a lot of people. This article suggests the average woman cries 5 times a month; the average man, much less but still enough that I don't think it only happens when something "really, really bad happens"

In the 1980s, biochemist William H. Frey, PhD, found that women cry an average of 5.3 times a month, while men cry an average of 1.3 times per month, with crying defined as anything from moist eyes to full-on sobbing. Those averages still appear to be about the same, suggests newer research, including work by Lauren Bylsma, PhD, of the University of Pittsburgh (Journal of Research in Personality, 2011).
Interestingly, the next paragraph talks about how gender differences in crying "might" have a biological basis, but the weasel words have weasel words.

I am not a crier--and in all honesty, I think that's because my whole life I've worked really hard not to because I think of crying as feminine and weak, and okay for "normal" girls but I'm not "like normal girls", I'm tougher, like a man. That idea--that masculine is better than feminine, and that masculine involves extreme emotional control--is an example of internalized standards of toxic masculinity.