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Old 06-10-2019, 09:12 PM
Alpha Twit's Avatar
Alpha Twit is offline
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere south of normal
Posts: 2,302
No doubt you're just sleep binging on junk food and assorted crap your waking brain can't admit to liking. Check you credit card statement for charges to "Bill's Deep Fried Lard" (now with midnight delivery). Check the area trash cans for an inordinate number of "Little Debbie" wrappers.

You should maybe super-glue your mouth shut before bed just to be safe.
Ask not the Dopers a question for you will receive three answers, all of which are true and horrifying to know.