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Old 12-08-2012, 11:43 PM
Askthepizzaguy Askthepizzaguy is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Norway
Posts: 2,910
Well it's all patently ridiculous. Unless you answer every single logical inconsistency and impossibility with "Oh God took care of that" magic then it's utterly indefensible.

1) Noah's family doesn't provide a stable enough gene pool for humanity to exist.

2) An elderly gentleman does not have the capability of taming two of every creature on earth and leading them thousands of miles toward the ark. Especially given there were continents across oceans that were inaccessible to him.

3) Two of every creature doesn't provide a stable enough gene pool for those species to continue to exist. Hint: even if they were all potent and fertile, their offspring would all be inbred and the problem would only get worse.

4) Two of every creature haven't even been discovered by MODERN biologists. New and previously undiscovered species exist everywhere. How many varieties of toad on how many continents would he have had to collect?

5) After the flood, since all the animals not on the Ark were wiped out, how did the Americas become populated with animals again? There was no land bridge between Asia and America at that time.

6) The distribution of species on earth, isolated from one another by oceans, could not have ended up distributed the way they did if all species except the ones on a boat that ended up in the middle east died. There's a reason Darwin's voyage was so interesting, because certain islands had clearly isolated populations of flora and fauna, which would not have developed such distinct differences from mainland creatures in just a few thousand years.

7) Opponents of evolution are often believers in this Noah's Ark nonsense. Well to give them a big hint: Evolution would have had to occur at a rate a hundred thousand times faster than it actually does in the real world for the Noah's Ark story to be even remotely plausible. Otherwise you wouldn't have so many different types of beetles, okay?

8) Explain why the plants and animals of all the distinct continents look like they've been evolving in isolation for millions of years, not having a common mediterranean source of approximately 4000-5000 years ago

9) Without evolution, the amount of species on the ark, in terms of sheer mass alone, would sink the ship and overflow out of it.

10) Food. Shit. Piss. Animals eating each other. Disease. Natural death. Accidental death. A handful of people trying to keep elephants, tigers, lions, polar bears, penguins (that must have taken a while) alive, not diseased, and uninjured. There's no way you fit the sheer mass of organisms inside a boat of that size. The humans on board will spend 24 hours a day hauling tons and tons of feces and piss up to the top deck to pour it overboard. Good luck going inside the Lion's cage to collect his shit chunks. Where do you store the food? How do you feed a hundred thousand pairs of animals? Do you keep them in separate cages? A cage for each of the different varieties of toad? Flightless birds? Wild cats? Wild dogs? Freshwater FISH?

It's all lies, utterly ridiculous and indefensible lies!

And if there WAS A GOD, who is OMNIPOTENT AND OMNISCIENT, he wouldn't need to perform this ridiculous exercise, he could snap his fingers like Q and make it happen sans flood, and sans ark.

That the most brilliant of all beings ever conceived by man would have the imagination of a bronze age idiot, proves that this crap was written by a bronze age idiot.

It's right up there with slavery being okay, women being property to be traded by their fathers, and making bets with Satan that people will still worship God even if he's a total dick.

The writing in that book is so sloppy, the only explanation for the fact that anyone believes it is literally true is that they have no scientific curiosity, no ability to think critically, and no desire to question something they've been instructed not to question, just take it on faith. It's as ridiculous as Scientology, and when I see Christians making fun of Mormons for their wacky beliefs, I am stunned by the lack of self-awareness.

The Noah Story has a lot more holes in it than the wooden boat. It was sunk long before it ever became seaworthy.

How many flights of stairs would Noah have to climb, every single day, just to haul buckets of animal piss off the ark? How many tonnes of shit would he have to personally move, every day? Or do we just let the air become unbreathable with fumes, toxic gas, and the rancid stench?

Pack 100 chickens in a suitcase for 2 months and see how many of them survive without human intervention.

Now imagine the suitcase doesn't contain 100 chickens, but 2 of every chicken-sized animal on earth. Many of which eat one another.

Now keep every couple alive and well, and make sure they can breed and cover the earth when they're done, even though the genetics suggest you'll have nothing but retard babies who are riddled with genetic defects and are sterile.

Couple that with the grand question: If Eve has nothing but sons, who do they fuck? Cain wanders off and marries a baboon? What? Ask your priest.

Last edited by Askthepizzaguy; 12-08-2012 at 11:44 PM.