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Old 05-14-2019, 05:09 PM
you with the face is online now
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Laurel, MD
Posts: 12,506
Originally Posted by Delayed Reflex View Post
I'm still learning this myself, but my understanding is that "Some men think men shouldn't cry" and " Some women think men shouldn't cry" would be the viewpoints that perpetuate "toxic masculinity" - though this particular example is probably on the milder end of the "toxicity spectrum". "Some men think men should defend their honour with violence" and "some women think men should defend their honour with violence" might be further along the scale.
In my view, when we discuss TM, itís helpful to show how a particular trope is damaging to the individual and others, because not all gender stereotypes are socially valued the same way or toxic in the same way.

ďMen like fart jokes.Ē Is it a stereotype? Yup. Does it make men out to be crass juveniles? Yes, a little bit. Is a guy going feel pressured to live up to this stereotype? Eh, probably not. Ainít no one going to revoke his man card if he admits to finding this humor stupid. Is liking fart jokes going to cause him to do self-destructive, life-threatening things? Nope.

ďMen donít cry.Ē Is it a stereotype? Yes, but even most importantly, itís an instruction to men that they shouldn't cry. So guys will feel pressure to live up to it. And if they fail at that, will they same feel weak and unmanly? Yes, quite possibly because stoicism is a highly valued trait in men. Is denying himself the right to cry going to cause harm to him? Yes, at least in some subset of men. If he doesnít have a healthy way of releasing negative feelings, heís risking all kinds of psychological issues. Issues that affect his relationships with others.