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Old 09-11-2019, 01:59 PM
Manda JO is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 11,436
Originally Posted by filmore View Post
I don't know if you should refrain and I'm not telling you to refrain. That's up to you to decide based on risk. What if it was something like your kid wanting to go backpacking in a foreign country? Would you consider the different risk levels in the different countries and want to have discussions about ways to be safe? I'm sure I've seen threads which are like "I'm visiting country X. What should I know about it?" and the responses often have things like what parts of the country are safe, whether to go out at night, potentially troublesome conversation topics, etc. There are some countries which are extremely dangerous, but that risk can be mitigated by things like going with a tour company instead of going solo. So in situations like those, I see the change in behavior and action as proportional to the risk. The riskier the country, the more precautions are needed. I guess I see sexual assault situations the same way. The higher the risk, the greater the precautions.
When you judge a woman for walking in a parking lot with earbuds in, even though you have no idea what her actual risks are, that's telling her to refrain from a normal part of life because you have decided, with no evidence, that she's taking a foolish risk.

There's nothing wrong with researching what is safe in a foreign country. There's nothing wrong with researching what is safe in your own community.

What's not okay is deciding, based on instinct, or common sense, or whatever, that women should refrain from normal, everyday activities because of danger.

What's not okay is normalizing the idea that society is a place where women are not safe to go about the activities of everyday life but men are.

Do you recognize that the vast majority of "rape-prevention"does not result significant increase in safety?

Do you recognize that the vast majority of "rape-prevention" advice puts a heavy burden on a woman's life and limits her personal and professional opportunities in a substantial way?