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Old 09-11-2019, 10:01 PM
thorny locust's Avatar
thorny locust is offline
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,277
Originally Posted by filmore View Post
By understanding, I mean understanding why people can get so inflamed in these discussions. For example:

- How can I keep my car safe? .... Park it in well-lit area
- How can I be safe when visiting country X? ... Stay in this part, not that part
- How can women be safe from SA? You're an misogynistic ahole!
You appear not to be understanding that men are also at risk from physical assault. You appear not to be understanding that your assumptions about who is most at risk walking out of a gym are based on nothing whatsoever other than your own imagination. You appear not to be understanding that the risk of sexual assault is not greatest in such situations, but is greatest from acquaintances and intimates.

And I'm not sure you understand why people get "inflamed". It's very annoying to have people insist on giving bad advice based on a batch of false assumptions, yes.

Originally Posted by filmore View Post
This isn't theoretical for me. My daughters are in college right now. Thorny, if what I'm saying is so bad, what should I say?
Tell them to go read Captain Awkward. They'll get advice about (among other things) what sort of behavior to actually watch out for, and about how to back their friends up when needed, which is likely to do them a lot more good than telling them to change clothes before leaving the gym.

Oh, and you can advise them not to walk down the street with all their attention on their phones. Just don't tell them that the reason is to protect them from rape; let alone that the reason is because they're female. Tell them it'll keep them from knocking down fragile old people, or getting hit by a car they didn't see, because they weren't looking where they were going.