View Single Post
Old 09-12-2019, 11:29 AM
Kimstu is offline
Join Date: Dec 1999
Posts: 22,857
Originally Posted by filmore View Post
My personal experience compared to women is so vastly different that my feeling is that women experience 1000 or 10000 times more incidents of unwanted sexual attraction.
I would nitpick this to suggest that it might be more accurate to say that women experience "1000 or 10000 times more incidents" of people feeling entitled to demand their attention for expressions of unwanted sexual attraction.

Women feel sexual attraction all the time for people who would most likely consider that attraction "unwanted", and to whom expressing that attraction in those circumstances would be inappropriate. The difference is that many, many fewer women than men think it's okay to announce their unwanted attraction, or to expect that the person they're attracted to will feel complimented or pleased by that announcement.

So women might be lusting on you or other men all the time as you go about your daily business (and before this descends into hyuk-hyuk posturing from some posters about "Boy, I only wish!" and similar nonsense, let me remind you that statistically speaking this would probably mostly consist of women you'd consider "too old" or "too fat" or "too ugly" etc. for you to be pleased by their attraction to you). But you don't realize it, because women aren't socialized to believe that forcing their attraction on other people's attention is appropriate behavior.

Sexual assault and harassment are fundamentally not about liking other people, they're about controlling other people. Men are constantly being sent the message by society that being able to control other people is an integral part of manliness. And compelling women's attention to recognize men's unsolicited expressions of attraction is one form of that control.