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Old 05-13-2019, 03:55 PM
monstro is online now
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 20,679
Originally Posted by Manda JO View Post
I don't think "don't apply to women" is really a fair standard there, because lots of women display traits that are masculine.

I wonder if women who work in certain predominately male environments are prone to "adaptive toxic masculinization". I once worked in a very "macho" workplace, where the conversations were frequently bawdy, sexist, and homophobic. A very "boys will be boys" culture. At first I just tried to fit in by being a "cool chick". You know, not be a schoolmarm over every non-PC joke, but not necessarily contributing my own. I would raise one eyebrow, but not both. I would chuckle over some stuff but not too loud.

But I do remember one time when I crossed the line from "kinda-sorta cool chick" over to "toxic". Someone was badmouthing a woman that didn't much care for. Rather than just laugh along, I chimed in with: "Yeah, she is a real See You Next Tuesday." The boys exchanged confused looks for a minute and then busted out laughing. I was proud of myself when they said "monstro, we didn't know you had it in you!" I was not only one of the guys, but I was also a "bad" guy. And I kinda liked it.

There are no doubt other toxic things I did just to fit in.

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Last edited by monstro; 05-13-2019 at 03:57 PM.