View Single Post
Old 08-10-2019, 03:27 AM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is offline
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 13,705
Originally Posted by nate View Post
As a (horrid, to some) example, I was driving with my wife in our minivan, stopped at red light and this girl pulled up next to us on a scooter. The way she was sitting, the short shorts she was wearing, her body's shape, I don't know, I couldn't even hold a conversation with my wife even when she was complaining about me being distracted by her... it's like it didn't matter to me, I couldn't bypass it, I had to just take in the sight of this and I didn't care how irritated my wife was. I know I sound like a real winner, but I'm just being honest.
Like many things, there are spectrums of sexuality. You seem to have the high end of sex drive and/or you're poorly socialized (I don't mean that to be insulting - I mean it in the sense of not having a sense of social norms or appropriateness).

The story you tell here indicates a few things: your sex drive overwhelms you and incapacitates you. You also have some fence mending to do with your wife if you value that relationship. Even if you find the chick in the next lane incredibly attractive, it's just rude to ogle her in front of your wife. It's even worse to ignore her, especially when she's asking you to stop the ogling. It's clear you disrespect her. That's trouble, with a capital t, that rhymes with d, that stands for divorce proceedings.

You are right that people (men and women) think about sex. You are right that sometimes these thoughts can be intrusive. However, if you can't control the response or your behavior then you do actually have a problem that you should address.