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Old 08-10-2019, 08:41 AM
Manda JO is offline
Charter Member
Join Date: Jul 1999
Posts: 11,592
Originally Posted by engineer_comp_geek View Post
Moderator Note

First of all, let me apologize for the delay. I did not receive the post reports until today, and even then I did not have time to respond to them at that time (Friday is always busy for me at work).

Second, while the OP certainly has some issues, I think overall everyone has done very well with this thread. I think the best thing to do under the circumstances is just to let the thread continue. Hopefully nate will take the time to carefully read all of the responses, both to understand why his response is not the same as 98% of males out there, and also to understand why many in this thread are finding his post to be so offensive.

We really do not want to encourage posts along the lines of "women make me want to have sex", and we definitely do not want to encourage men's locker room types of posts where men just talk about who they want to have sex with and why. But if we can have more discussions like this one where people actually explain the issues and try to give some enlightenment and understanding to those who are clearly lacking in it, I think that's actually a good thing.

I will try to monitor this thread as best as I can going forward, and again, apologies for not being able to get to it sooner.
I am going to go on about this, because this is exactly the sort of thing that I think causes a disconnect on the misogyny issue here. When the OP tells the story of walking down the street, thinking "Damn, I want to hit that", he just called me and every other woman in this thread a "that". Right there, the tone was set and I was told that this would be a conversation among men, and any woman is starting at a disadvantage because she's not even really a person to the OP--who is confident he speaks for all men.

And yes, there's a potentially interesting discussion suggested by the OP, but it's framed in a misogynistic and degrading way: it's "Hey, fellow dudes, let me tell you about the problems the women cause me". It's humble-bragging about how powerful his sex drive is, so powerful he can't interact with attractive women. He's not looking for advice--he doesn't think it's a problem. He's explicitly looking for validation that his thoughts are normal--and he only wants it from other men, because anything women say will be met with "you couldn't possibly understand and any man who tells you different than me is lying to you".

Potentially interesting conversation starters shouldn't get a pass on being gross. I'd shut down the thread and suggest the OP or someone else restart it with the understanding that there are women and men in the room.