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Old 09-08-2019, 05:11 PM
Aspidistra is online now
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 6,196
Originally Posted by Chronos View Post
(aside: Is the 11 dimensions a literal count, or just figurative? It seems like it might be about right).
It's a fully rectally-derived statistic. But, y'know, eleven is the best number (it goes up to elevin!!)

Originally Posted by Trancephalic View Post
I'm currently scheduled for Asperger's assement on account of my regimented behavior and stubbornness, but I attribute those to trauma more than an innate desire; that is I purposefully narrow my interests for fear that my first experiences will be associated with stressors like they have been in the past.
May I hit you with another one of my pet theories ... that a lot of the repetitive behaviour of 'true' diagnosed ASD/Aspie people is also a response to trauma rather than innate - that is, the generalised long-running trauma of being in a society in which everyone else seems to think differently from you in strange non-understandable ways. Retreating to familiarity and routine is what most people do under stress of whatever sort - you can't step out of your comfort zone to learn new stuff if you're constantly uncomfortable (not saying that this means your psych should necessarily diagnose you with it tho)

Originally Posted by MichaelEmouse View Post
As you correctly guessed, there are other issues involved. Getting her to reveal what she thinks is easy; If you get her started, she'll give you a lecture-worthy explanation. Getting her to reveal what she feels is like pulling teeth off a T-Rex.
Relatable. I like her already.
There was one time that struck me; I saw her watch a video of a mother with her son sitting in her lap a few times. The mother was being gentle and kind to the son like you would expect. I asked her why she rewatched it a few times. Normally, she would have clammed up at this point but she was a little high. She said that it was like the opposite of watching a movie. In a movie, you know it's fake intellectually but it feels real emotionally. When she saw a mother being gentle and kind to her son, she knew it was real intellectually but it felt fake to her. She hasn't had much contact with her mother or that side of the family since she turned 20. I've tried broaching the topic since them but she ices up pretty well. I know she's tried therapy and I saw some SSRI bottles in her bedroom but they don't seem to have done much for her.
It sounds like she was trying to learn something from that video - that she's aware that that sort of parent-child bonding is a good thing, she hasn't had experience of it actually working right, and she wants to really closely examine an instance of it working right so she can figure out the trick to how it's done. I often watch movies in the same spirit - that is, I like to watch movies about people who are very different from me, because it expands my possible range of responses to a situation beyond just the small set of things that come naturally (' oh ... a person could say that, huh? Maybe I'll try that someday...')

I'm a big believer in not worrying about labels and categories but just ... what are you having a problem with? Fix the thing that's actually causing you problems. For instance, not being able to get a job sounds like something that's causing a problem, and maybe something related to a specific deficit in her mental toolkit - not being able to quickly warm up to a new person, or at least fake it well for interview purposes. Or maybe fear of the unknown situation. Whatever it is, I'd recommend that as a potential area of approach - to to tell her there's something generally 'wrong' with her (however gentle you are in approach she's quite likely to leap to 'you think there's something wrong with me') but that there's a specific situation that she needs a particular cognitive skill for, and (for instance) psychologists can help people gain cognitive skills, and if she HAD this extra cognitive skill she'd be able to do something that would help her life - like get a job
Science created the modern world. Politics is doing its best to destroy it.