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Old 05-14-2019, 08:24 PM
lingyi is offline
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 2,190
Originally Posted by dropzone View Post
Why didn't she just say that?
This is a classic case of get it in writing and get a second opinion if there's any questions. Doctors, like lawyers have at least two types of speeches. One they use with other professionals and the other they use with laypersons. Have her detail the reasons for her recommending extended care for you in writing and have someone versed in the field go over and explain it in detail to you.

Especially when we're emotional about something or have a preconceived mindset, we tend to hear things, both positive and negative differently.

When my Mom was in the hospital with pneumonia, the doctor verbally explained the severity of her condition and the options, basically do nothing and let her recover best as she could at 87 or perform a surgery to remove the fluid from her lungs with a 50/50 chance of survival and a 50/50 chance of the fluid returning away.

After explaining it to my sister twice alone (during which she was in denial that my Mom didn't have long to live in either case), he reluctantly sat down with her and myself for a third time and explained it to both of us. Even then, my nature being analytical and my sister's nature being emotional, we both picked up on different things, but we ultimately agreed to explain to my Mom why a painful surgery with a 50/50 chance of survival wasn't a choice we'd recommend. She didn't have to surgery and recovered as well as an 87 woman could and lived for nearly two more years.

Last edited by lingyi; 05-14-2019 at 08:25 PM.