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Old 05-19-2001, 09:15 AM
Una Persson Una Persson is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: With Candy Darling
Posts: 15,991
Yes, I forgot all about this until I read this thread.

In the cheap student apartment the Ex and I lived in, the walls and floors were paper-thin. There were three girls that lived above us, and they always had these Frat Boy types over, at all hours of the night. One Saturday night, I was in the bathroom, and I started to hear people walking around upstairs. Due to a large hole in the ceiling from water damage, there was only a thin layer of plywood and one layer of linoleum between us. It was a guy and girl above me:

Girl: (giggle) No, lube it up, silly!

Guy: (mumble)

Girl: Here...OK. Now do it to me. Do it to me. Do it. DO IT!

Guy: I'm trying but it won't fit!

Girl: (exasperated) Use your fingers!

Guy: No way! I'm not (unintelligible)

Girl: Put it in me! I need it!

Guy: I'm trying, it won't fit.

Girl: (curses)

Then there is a pause for a few seconds, then...

Girl: Ayyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Guy: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Girl: (panting and crying) Fuck my ass! Fuck it! Fuck it! Fuck it!!!!!

And they went on for about 3-4 minutes, with her sobbing and crying - actually crying - but all the time panting and saying "Fuck my ass! Fuck it!"

Finally, it stopped.

Girl: Don't stop!

Guy: I'm done.

Girl: You fucking prick!!! (door slams, and yelling ensues upstairs, followed by the outside door slamming)