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Old 09-06-2019, 04:38 PM
SciFiSam is offline
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Beffnal Green innit
Posts: 8,624
I'm a lesbian who had a child young, and the ex I had when my daughter was very young coincidentally looked a lot more like my daughter than I did - they both have straight blonde hair and similarly shaped and eyes and face (and we all have blue eyes). So I didn't mind when people assumed she was the biological mother - it was a reasonable assumption. And it happened quite a lot. People would get confused about my daughter calling me Mum and my ex by her name and they'd decide to find out why, or they were just curious, or whatever.

But it was very odd when several times people argued with me on that point. I mean, you'd think I'd be the number one authority on whose mother my daughter is, wouldn't you?

I guess maybe they thought we'd decided to... pretend, or something, in order to give the non-bio Mum more power? Or they thought I carried her but wasn't the genetic parent? But still, when I said no, and I know why you thought that, but nah, I'm her biological mother (can't remember the actual words I used but it was along those lines - not upset but very certain), that should have been the end of it because if there were any complicated (and extremely unlikely) circumstances they probably wouldn't be the kind you'd discuss in public. It didn't anger or annoy me, it was just weird.

So it wasn't the question itself that was dumb - although a bit rude from people who've only just met you, really - it was arguing that I was wrong about my own life.