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  #601  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:23 PM
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What is the strangest thing you ever found in your freezer?

Is Minnesota really that cold?

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  #602  
Old 05-09-2019, 09:41 PM
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Plumbing problem
Slang Words for Penis in Other Languages


The wife, discussing the issue confidentially with her girlfriend the next day, expresses her frustrations in Latin: lumbinpay roblempay

Last edited by wolfpup; 05-09-2019 at 09:46 PM.
  #603  
Old 05-10-2019, 07:22 AM
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Made up band names A-Z
Scandalous Jujube flavors
  #604  
Old 05-10-2019, 10:07 AM
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What is the strangest thing you ever found in your freezer?

Found Money


Asked and answered.
  #605  
Old 05-10-2019, 12:08 PM
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Scandalous Jujube flavors
One of the downsides to living in the desert


Hey, Scorpion and Horse With No Name are two of my favorite flavors!
  #606  
Old 05-11-2019, 08:59 AM
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Brits, what do you wear when dressing casually?
Tempurpedic mattresses?


They're good protection against sharp elbows when you're riding on the Tube.
  #607  
Old 05-11-2019, 11:35 AM
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Can we please bring back traditional white nurses uniforms???
Nurse, I did not give you permission to be rude to me.


Maybe if you stop telling them how to dress, they wouldn't call you a meddlesome irritating dickhead.
  #608  
Old 05-11-2019, 02:51 PM
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From the Forums page:

Can I grow poppies?
May Flowers in the MMP
  #609  
Old 05-11-2019, 04:46 PM
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How has the Trump administration negatively affected you?
Any suggestions for getting an old dog to eat?


This old dog totally lost the will to live after the election.
  #610  
Old 05-11-2019, 05:39 PM
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The smallest town you have seen a hooker in?
Opinions re: workplace privacy - reason for absence


Sometimes it's better not to know.
  #611  
Old 05-12-2019, 08:19 AM
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Help! Put green coolant into motor that has orange coolant
Oil Spill in Garage - Now What?


You know, honey, maybe it wasn't the best idea to get your brother to come work on our car.
  #612  
Old 05-13-2019, 07:30 AM
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Please don't wish every woman you see tomorrow a happy Mother's Day
Beckdawrek is a bad, bad, bad Mother.
  #613  
Old 05-14-2019, 12:26 PM
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Nursing homes: as sleazy as ever?
Medical Marijuana discussion thread


Sleezy? Who cares? They give us this stuff and let us smoke it inside.
  #614  
Old 05-14-2019, 01:42 PM
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Who do you think will be the next *big* celebrity to die?
Tim Conway Dead at 85


Sorry. Doris Day beat him to death.
  #615  
Old 05-14-2019, 04:07 PM
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Zōri vs. flip-flops
Buddhism feels like a chain for me


If you converted to Catholicism, you could wear black cordovan loafers.
  #616  
Old 05-14-2019, 10:04 PM
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Nursing homes: as sleazy as ever?
Nurse, I did not give you permission to be rude to me.


Asked and answered, I guess.
  #617  
Old 05-15-2019, 07:15 AM
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Dinosaur tail discovered trapped in amber

What is the strangest thing you ever found in your freezer?



"Honey, how old is this dinosaur tail in the freezer? It's hard as a rock!
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #618  
Old 05-15-2019, 08:40 AM
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What's the Big Deal About Shakespeare?
Does the term "full English" get used outside UK?


The big deal about Shakespeare is that he was full English.

Have you had your Tiliacora triandra infusion today?
Now they are trying to poison me!
Being the last poster of a thread and then it dies


We lose more posters from Tillacora triandra infusion poison than anything else. They are the last poster, and then they die.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 05-15-2019 at 08:41 AM.
  #619  
Old 05-15-2019, 09:11 AM
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Writing to prison inmates as pen pals - what to be mindful of?
Unsolved mysteries and murders


If the inmate writes about a murder, tell the police.
  #620  
Old 05-15-2019, 12:03 PM
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Someone is watching me... Google

Now they are trying to poison me!

So I woke up with my shirt on backwards and inside-out this morning...

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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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  #621  
Old 05-15-2019, 12:52 PM
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I miss the uniqueness of the 19XX decades
Not just for 20 minutes in 1960.


The twentieth century was a great time to be alive, but man, I will NEVER forget those 20 minutes in 1960!
  #622  
Old 05-15-2019, 01:20 PM
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Why do my farts smell like the place I work?
Question about people wearing surgical masks


I imagine they're just trying to get through the day. Only management gets actual gas masks.
  #623  
Old 05-15-2019, 02:45 PM
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Predict the next war(s)
"Toxic masculinity" and "toxic femininity." Real things or sexist mumbo-jumbo.


The next war is going to be men vs. women, and it's going to involve a lot of toxins.
  #624  
Old 05-15-2019, 08:05 PM
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Now they are trying to poison me!
What is the strangest thing you ever found in your freezer?


Relax, it's just a really old meatloaf...or maybe that piece of chocolate cake from the Y2K party...
  #625  
Old 05-16-2019, 12:56 PM
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I've started a YouTube channel focused on cybersecurity.
Descending into the Marianas Trench


It would suck if someone hacked your submersible's grabber claw just before your got to the bottom.



Descending into the Marianas Trench
Someone is watching me... Google

They're frickin' everywhere!

Last edited by Spiderman; 05-16-2019 at 12:58 PM.
  #626  
Old 05-16-2019, 02:51 PM
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Everest: Just Don't Do It

Descending into the Marianas Trench



Highest point. lowest point -- make up your mind.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #627  
Old 05-17-2019, 08:22 AM
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Who do you think will be the next *big* celebrity to die?
Woodstock 50 may not happen


Woodstock was big, but not a celbrity
  #628  
Old 05-17-2019, 08:53 AM
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Guys: Smoking/Masturbation

It Came From The Crypt



....while smoking!
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #629  
Old 05-17-2019, 09:12 AM
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Are name brand items better than cheaper options? (Dollar Tree vs. Name Brand Stores)
Now they are trying to poison me!


With knock-off cheap items
  #630  
Old 05-17-2019, 01:37 PM
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The Emperor of Japan has abdicated
Welcome to Canadoper Pub, 2019!


Have a seat Emperor, take your slippers off, we're all nice people here. Sorry, no sake, but we got plenty of Molson on tap.
  #631  
Old 05-17-2019, 07:07 PM
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When you think of a thong you think of...?
License plate covers


Me, too.
  #632  
Old 05-17-2019, 08:34 PM
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Question for parents: making babies
Banned from Twitter---for life?


There are some activities that just aren't suitable for live streaming on Twitter.Try Facebook instead.
  #633  
Old 05-18-2019, 08:26 AM
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"Green Bags" Anyone used something like this?
What the heck is going on with our school lunch program?


STFU and eat your endive and broccoli, kid.
  #634  
Old 05-18-2019, 11:55 AM
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Where do all these porn actors come from?

Tool guys, help finding tool

Based on their films, they donít seem to need any help finding it.
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"I don't like to make plans for the day. If I do, that's when words like 'premeditated' start getting thrown around in the courtroom."
  #635  
Old 05-18-2019, 05:57 PM
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Georgia governor signs strictest abortion bill in nation
Why did we free the slaves?


Things are getting a bit out of hand in Georgia.
  #636  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:29 AM
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Beckdawrek is a bad, bad, bad hunter!

Bad bad VOW has been around Beckdawrek too much!




Stop hanging around VOW, then!
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #637  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:39 AM
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"When buying in quantity"

"Let's talk Viagra!"
  #638  
Old 05-20-2019, 02:13 PM
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Let's talk about going to the drive-in movie theater
How dangerous is a chainsaw to use?


Um... What are you planning?
  #639  
Old 05-21-2019, 06:42 AM
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Separated by one:

What is the minimum alcohol by volume % necessary to kill pathogens in liquids

There was...something...in my beer.




Three point two ain't gonna kill "something".
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #640  
Old 05-21-2019, 10:58 AM
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The percentage of parents who truly love their kids
"I didn't mean to!"
Court case where I am the "victim"


It's not my fault, Your Honour! They trapped me into 'loving' them!
  #641  
Old 05-21-2019, 01:37 PM
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Would you agree that most people these days feel rushed & are impatient?

Let's talk Viagra!



"Impatient," not "Impotent!"
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #642  
Old 05-21-2019, 03:36 PM
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Why plastic bag bans aren't as great as everyone thinks
Let's talk Viagra!


Viagra: even better with a plastic bag over your head!
  #643  
Old 05-21-2019, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
Would you agree that most people these days feel rushed & are impatient?

Let's talk Viagra!



"Impatient," not "Impotent!"
Nice one!
  #644  
Old 05-21-2019, 07:39 PM
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Velocity's bad, bad, bad dryer machine situation

Stuck in a chair



That does sound Bad.

Is it one of those salon hair dryers?
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #645  
Old 05-22-2019, 07:04 AM
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Stuck in a chair
Let's talk Viagra!


It's gonna take more than that.
  #646  
Old 05-22-2019, 08:14 AM
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What would make Trumps base supporters turn on him?
Comfortable reading position


I'm not turning on you, I just need a more comfortable reading position!
  #647  
Old 05-22-2019, 08:22 AM
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Question for parents: making babies
Polyamorous people


It only takes two amorous people to make a baby
  #648  
Old 05-22-2019, 08:57 AM
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What is the minimum alcohol by volume % necessary to kill pathogens in liquids
There was...something...in my beer.


I hope the alcohol killed it.
  #649  
Old 05-22-2019, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
What is the minimum alcohol by volume % necessary to kill pathogens in liquids
There was...something...in my beer.


I hope the alcohol killed it.
Already posted as #639
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #650  
Old 05-22-2019, 02:30 PM
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More cuteness than the human mind can handle?
When buying in quantity


So stop buying your cute things in quantity!
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