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  #701  
Old 06-03-2019, 03:24 PM
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Do Animals Have a Sense of Humor?
Is Fox News really all that bad?


When raccoons start pointing and laughing, it may be time to rethink the ol' mission statement.
  #702  
Old 06-03-2019, 07:07 PM
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Help settle a disagreement... how do you eat?
that Stranger On A Train


Whuh? Need a wine pairing for your beans?
  #703  
Old 06-04-2019, 07:13 AM
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Apple shutting down iTunes (?)!! Shoot me now!!
Songs where narrator dies


Don't you mean lack of songs where narrator dies?
  #704  
Old 06-04-2019, 08:52 AM
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Today's "Wild Kingdom" encounter.
Porn is gradually becoming ridiculous


I don't know whether to laugh or be disgusted.
  #705  
Old 06-04-2019, 12:41 PM
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Porn is gradually becoming ridiculous
Televangelist Kenneth Copeland is Coco for Cocoa Puffs.


Sounds like porn to me: White televangelist and the African-American whore he's "saving."

Of course, porn is gradually becoming ridiculous" works with all thread titles. If you know what I mean.
  #706  
Old 06-04-2019, 01:30 PM
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Poll: How do you feel about clowns?
Poll: Is the atheist worldview depressing?


Thirteen clowns piling out of a tiny car chanting "There is no God!" is kind of a downer.
  #707  
Old 06-04-2019, 02:02 PM
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What happens to Commodities During Deflationary Periods?
Anti-investing?


Pretty much.
  #708  
Old 06-04-2019, 02:21 PM
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Dangerous Driving Hypothetical
Anyone else starting to get "concern fatigue"?


I'm starting to not give a shit when my car drifts over the center line.
  #709  
Old 06-04-2019, 06:38 PM
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Help settle a disagreement... how do you eat?
Whopper Loans


"I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today."
  #710  
Old 06-04-2019, 07:56 PM
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Help settle a disagreement... how do you eat?
Poll: How do you feel about clowns?


They taste funny.
  #711  
Old 06-04-2019, 10:20 PM
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Porn is gradually becoming ridiculous
Why does a father/daughter relationship seem "stronger" than a mother/son?


It's definitely ridiculous when you start comparing the "relative" strengths of those, ahem, relationships.
  #712  
Old 06-05-2019, 06:17 AM
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So what are these weird black masses (erroneously called "tick nests") on the forest floor?
Tumor burgers?


Ew!
  #713  
Old 06-05-2019, 07:52 AM
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What kinds of things do you keep in your attic?
Poll: How do you feel about clowns?


They hide behind the winter clothes and bric-a-brac, and jump out at me. I don't like it.
  #714  
Old 06-05-2019, 08:54 AM
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Count DOWN FROM 1,000,000 "game" thread
Count in binary.
Count To A Million Thread!


What were three ideas rejected for a sequence featuring Sesame Streets The Count, Alex?
  #715  
Old 06-05-2019, 09:08 AM
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according to a satabase the most favored ice cream is ....
Salt on Melons (esp. Water Melon)
  #716  
Old 06-05-2019, 09:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
What kinds of things do you keep in your attic?
Poll: How do you feel about clowns?


They hide behind the winter clothes and bric-a-brac, and jump out at me. I don't like it.
Well known from V.C. Andrews' popular series of Clowns in the Attic books.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
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  #717  
Old 06-05-2019, 09:45 AM
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Songs with an ecological message
Songs where narrator dies


I think the Ramones had one called "I Wanna Be Composted".
  #718  
Old 06-05-2019, 10:37 AM
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Do Dyna Trap insect traps work well?
What is this writhing mass of insects in my tree?


Too well, apparently.
  #719  
Old 06-05-2019, 11:51 AM
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For the trifecta:

Do Dyna Trap insect traps work well?
What is this writhing mass of insects in my tree?
So what are these weird black masses (erroneously called "tick nests") on the forest floor?


You are bugging me out. Stop it!
  #720  
Old 06-05-2019, 01:10 PM
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Wonderfully funny business names
Mass Killings in the United States 2019


Only fast-food joint I know that offers "Burger And A Shot", and has a "Drive-By" instead of a "Drive-Through". Stop, you're killing me!
  #721  
Old 06-05-2019, 02:45 PM
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What is this writhing mass of insects in my tree?
Emotional support animal question


No.
  #722  
Old 06-05-2019, 08:45 PM
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What kinds of things do you keep in your attic?
How do you feel about clowns?



The attic is full of clowns. I...don't go to the attic anymore.
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Cigarettes are like squirrels. They're perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Last edited by Hopeful Crow; 06-05-2019 at 08:47 PM.
  #723  
Old 06-06-2019, 08:42 AM
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What is so great about a Mercedes?
Whopper Loans


How is that "great"?
  #724  
Old 06-06-2019, 09:46 AM
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Believe Jesus is Lord = normal, believe David Koresh is Lord = wacko. Why?
Does religion have a place in public debate?
WWJD Re: Gay People.


WWKD?
  #725  
Old 06-06-2019, 11:03 AM
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Something You Thought Would be Awful But It Turned Out to Be Great
Is laundry detergent OK to mix?


It sure adds a lot more "fizz" to your rum and coke.
  #726  
Old 06-06-2019, 11:17 AM
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US weapons in WWII
Tumor burgers?


"Surrender, or we'll blast your position with giant cystic teratomas!"
"Aieeee!"
  #727  
Old 06-06-2019, 12:36 PM
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Elementary school nail hygeine
US weapons in WWII


Ah yes, the Nail-Biting 3056th (a.k.a. Screaming Third-Graders). They were the true unsung heroes of D-Day.
  #728  
Old 06-06-2019, 02:14 PM
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Anyone go inside and order at McDonald's recently?
Poll: How do you feel about clowns?


I don't go in there, I hate even seeing pictures of Ronald McDonald.
  #729  
Old 06-07-2019, 09:05 AM
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Poll: Are ocean cruises white trash vacations?
How much do you do on the very last day of vacation (departure day)?


I empty my spittoon over the side and smoke a bunch of meth. Then maybe take a dump on the poop deck. I just loves Carnival Cruises!
  #730  
Old 06-07-2019, 10:49 AM
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Puzzling things that people do

I understand why people abandon their cats now. Not sure what to do.
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #731  
Old 06-07-2019, 11:02 AM
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Where does tariff money go?
Tumor burgers?


Yes, with the dough raised from tariffs, the Trumps are holding a 4th of July Tumor Barbecue in the Rose Garden, and we're all invited.
  #732  
Old 06-07-2019, 04:12 PM
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WWJD Re: Gay People.
Polling


IF you know what I mean.
  #733  
Old 06-07-2019, 06:32 PM
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Poll: Should drunk drivers get the death penalty if they kill someone?
Poll: Have you ever driven drunk before?


Uh...who wants to know??
  #734  
Old 06-08-2019, 06:57 PM
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Now that NASA is allowing tourists to visit the ISS...
I have left the Democratic Party.


Now you can finally get away from it all!
  #735  
Old 06-09-2019, 03:45 AM
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Ants in the cat food what do I do?
My cat doesn't want to eat.


Maybe start by taking the ants out of the cat food.
  #736  
Old 06-09-2019, 06:00 PM
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If You Could Set a Time Machine to Any Date?
What is an upper middle class lifestyle


In the 1400s, it meant only having to share your privy with two other families.
  #737  
Old 06-10-2019, 08:12 AM
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I dreamed of the Periodic Table
What is so great about a Mercedes?


It's OK, but it doesn't belong on the Periodic Table. You want a Honda Element.
  #738  
Old 06-10-2019, 09:14 AM
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It's 2019 - what do you do for a living, and how has that changed since Y2K?
Yanking on power sockets too hard


19 years ago I was yanking on telephone cords too hard.
  #739  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:10 AM
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Now separated by two:

Ants in the cat food what do I do?

My cat doesn't want to eat.

My cat suddenly attacked my dog. WTF?



Probably the ants
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte

Last edited by CalMeacham; 06-10-2019 at 10:11 AM.
  #740  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:33 AM
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Hey dads, what do you want for Father's Day?
Despite the negative views about Walmart, it's still a good place to shop


Yeah, great! Get me some giant-sized candy bars, and a jumbo bag of zip ties.
  #741  
Old 06-10-2019, 12:21 PM
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Pope changes one line in Lord's Prayer
Sick


Just wait until you hear about the bitchin' change he made to the Hail Mary!
  #742  
Old 06-10-2019, 04:02 PM
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Fish and finger pie, or how did this lyric get by the AM radio censors?
catfish recipes


Fish and finger pie is a catfish recipe.
  #743  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:03 PM
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HS graduation gift ideas

What is so great about a Mercedes?


*crosses that off the list*
  #744  
Old 06-11-2019, 11:58 AM
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How effective are drug-sniffing dogs, and how are they certified?
Neptunium doesn't have an explosive personality?


No, Neptunium is actually the nicest German shepherd you'll ever meet. He will take a big steaming dump on your drug stash, though.
  #745  
Old 06-11-2019, 12:06 PM
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Former Red Sox slugger David Ortiz shot in back and hospitalized
Why I don't watch sports


The penalty for stealing bases has gotten lots more severe.
  #746  
Old 06-11-2019, 01:39 PM
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Gobekli Tepe: What do we really know?
US weapons in WWII
Hypothetical trouble with the Secret Service . . .


It's not hypothetical any more, bub, we're on to you!
  #747  
Old 06-11-2019, 03:11 PM
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Hypothetical trouble with the Secret Service . . .
Law - What is this "list" I keep hearing about?
  #748  
Old 06-12-2019, 08:23 AM
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There was a 4.0 earthquake near here yesterday.

The Metric system is the tool of the devil!
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Who is the Calypso Singer that rides Pegasus?
Harry Bellerophonte
  #749  
Old 06-12-2019, 10:51 AM
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Do you totally suck at anything?
Do you excel at anything?


I've been moderately successful at avoiding these threads.

Last edited by Jackmannii; 06-12-2019 at 10:51 AM.
  #750  
Old 06-12-2019, 11:36 AM
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Yanking on power sockets too hard
Porn is gradually becoming ridiculous

Sure, you're yanking your "power socket"...
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