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Old 08-07-2018, 08:51 PM
Gary T Gary T is offline
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How do I get facebook to back off?

I just got a mobile phone (my first), haven't even gotten a carrier yet, but activated the wifi am checking out how it does facebook. In setting this up, I interacted with facebook, gmail, and Google. Somewhere in the process, I vaguely recall okaying somethat that would "reach out to your friends." Then I started getting facebook friends waving at me, which never happened before. After a few waves it occurred to me that whatever I did probably prompted facebook to contact people in my name and suggest they wave to me. I want to undo that. Anyone know how?
  #2  
Old 08-07-2018, 09:57 PM
K2500 K2500 is offline
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I think it gives a general notification in Facebook Messenger to your Facebook friends "Gary T is now on messenger - wave at him!" I'm not sure that is a thing that can be undone. I'm sure people will stop waving eventually if its not.

I suppose you could delete messenger and mybe the account that goes with it if separate from Facebook. At least you'd stop getting the notifications. Is it the notifications that bother you or the fact it alerted others to message you?

My kids, nephews and nieces, as well as long lost friends and people who have lost my number tend to contact me on messenger. If I don't want to hear from them I'll either never open it or never respond if I do. The other person gets reaf notifications so if you open and don't respond its considered to be a certain type of rude and is sending a message in its own way.
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Old 08-07-2018, 10:58 PM
Gary T Gary T is offline
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That explanation makes sense. I guess I'm stuck with it.

It bothers me that others were told to wave at me. I don't like facebook telling us how to interact. I waved back to the first few before I caught on, but I don't want to wave back to everybody. I don't like being in a position where someone might think me rude and/or have hurt feelings because I didn't respond. Sigh...
  #4  
Old 08-08-2018, 12:24 AM
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Panther Modern Panther Modern is offline
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Facebook collects too much data and isn't worth using anymore.
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Old 08-08-2018, 01:34 AM
harmonicamoon harmonicamoon is offline
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I signed up to get the local movie house's movie schedule. They don't have a website.

Facebook connected my email address to everyone that had emails to or from me. From the beginning of time.

And now I get notifications that they want to be in contact with me. Obviously they didn't send them. We were just paired with email addresses. They don't want contact with me, and I don't desire contact with them.

I wish I had never joined this club.
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Old 08-08-2018, 07:34 AM
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kayaker kayaker is offline
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Done bun can't be undone.
  #7  
Old 08-08-2018, 10:08 AM
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Panther Modern Panther Modern is offline
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Originally Posted by harmonicamoon View Post
I signed up to get the local movie house's movie schedule. They don't have a website.



Facebook connected my email address to everyone that had emails to or from me. From the beginning of time.



And now I get notifications that they want to be in contact with me. Obviously they didn't send them. We were just paired with email addresses. They don't want contact with me, and I don't desire contact with them.



I wish I had never joined this club.


It's not too late to quit.
  #8  
Old 08-08-2018, 12:16 PM
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puzzlegal puzzlegal is offline
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I never give third party apps access to my email or address book. Well, not never, but very rarely, and only with careful forethought. So, my email app and my text app have that access, a does the phones default phone app. And that's it. Facebook, LinkedIn, etc., nope. It saves a lot of stuff like this.
  #9  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:03 PM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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Furthest you can go to "fixing Facebook real good", without actually quitting, is to download something like Blokada. It re-routes all your connections through its VPN, and at the same time can blacklist sites. If you select to blacklist using the "social hosts file", your phone will act as if Facebook and Twitter don't exist at all. At all - if you tried to view someone's Facebook or Twitter link, you'd just get a site-not-found error - can't even see your own Facebook or Twitter. It doesn't change your accounts - they're perfectly fine - just your phone becomes unable to figure out where they are, until you turn this feature off again.
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Old 08-08-2018, 05:01 PM
naita naita is offline
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I never wave at new connections, and I've yet to be waved at. Unless you want to interact through messenger with that person right then, just ignore it.
  #11  
Old 08-09-2018, 11:04 AM
K2500 K2500 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gary T View Post
That explanation makes sense. I guess I'm stuck with it.

It bothers me that others were told to wave at me. I don't like facebook telling us how to interact. I waved back to the first few before I caught on, but I don't want to wave back to everybody. I don't like being in a position where someone might think me rude and/or have hurt feelings because I didn't respond. Sigh...
Not responding to an initial wave is unlikely to hurt someone's feelings. Apparently there's a bit of etiquette that goes with it. Waves and pokes and what not can be ignored at will, but the most heinous breach of all, as judged by people only slightly younger than me, is to leave em on read. I recently learned that this is considered a dick move that can only be avoided by not reading it if I don't intend to respond.

For what it's worth I've also found smilies to be good conversational outs.

Last edited by K2500; 08-09-2018 at 11:05 AM.
  #12  
Old 08-09-2018, 11:10 AM
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Panther Modern Panther Modern is offline
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Originally Posted by K2500 View Post
Apparently there's a bit of etiquette that goes with it. Waves and pokes and what not can be ignored at will, but the most heinous breach of all, as judged by people only slightly younger than me, is to leave em on read.
Resident young person here: You are not wrong. Even worse is responding to someone's lengthy message with:


K.
  #13  
Old 08-09-2018, 12:59 PM
Springtime for Spacers Springtime for Spacers is offline
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Originally Posted by Panther Modern View Post
Resident young person here: You are not wrong. Even worse is responding to someone's lengthy message with:


K.
I stumbled on this by accident. I was feeling quite depressed when I got a message from someone I was pretty annoyed with asked me for something I had no good reason to refuse. I replied with "K". Later i found out she was upset with me because I had "Kayed her". I wasn't really sorry
  #14  
Old 08-09-2018, 01:05 PM
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kayaker kayaker is offline
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Originally Posted by Springtime for Spacers View Post
I stumbled on this by accident. I was feeling quite depressed when I got a message from someone I was pretty annoyed with asked me for something I had no good reason to refuse. I replied with "K". Later i found out she was upset with me because I had "Kayed her". I wasn't really sorry
Yeah, I'll bet I respond to >75% of texts with "K".

What's wrong with that when responding to "I'm running behind, I'll be there at 3"?
  #15  
Old 08-09-2018, 01:08 PM
DavidwithanR DavidwithanR is offline
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I'm an old guy with no experience in all this, but I have been very offended at "K" responses several times. I never knew it was normal to be offended by it.
  #16  
Old 08-09-2018, 01:42 PM
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Rick Kitchen Rick Kitchen is offline
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Originally Posted by Panther Modern View Post
Facebook collects too much data and isn't worth using anymore.
Facebook is so popular, nobody uses it any more.
  #17  
Old 08-09-2018, 03:05 PM
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Panther Modern Panther Modern is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springtime for Spacers View Post
I stumbled on this by accident. I was feeling quite depressed when I got a message from someone I was pretty annoyed with asked me for something I had no good reason to refuse. I replied with "K". Later i found out she was upset with me because I had "Kayed her". I wasn't really sorry
Hilarious. Believe it or not, there is a difference betweenn replying with a period or now. K is shorthand for "understood." K., with a period, is a serious end to the conversation, which some people won't like.
  #18  
Old 08-09-2018, 03:09 PM
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Panther Modern Panther Modern is offline
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Facebook is so popular, nobody uses it any more.
They're migrating BACK to Myspace.
  #19  
Old 08-10-2018, 10:42 PM
K2500 K2500 is offline
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Originally Posted by Panther Modern View Post
Resident young person here: You are not wrong. Even worse is responding to someone's lengthy message with:


K.
I just consulted with my girlfriend, she confirmed this is true. She also confirmed that I am an asshole.
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