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Old 02-05-2020, 03:12 PM
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Seen an elephant fly? Nope, but let me tell you what I just saw…...


This is for historians yet to be born. They like the little details, right? Eye witness accounts. Time and place. So they can piece together that clear picture of day-to-day life in the late first quarter of the twenty first century. Well, you yet-to-be-born learned persons, you better be careful what you wish for:

In Nerja, southern Spain, at a restaurant, I just saw a woman in a neckbrace feeding spaghetti to a dog. Now, I don’t mean a bowl of spaghetti – oh, no no no – I mean, dog on hind legs, paws up, head back, in doggie beg Position A, having strands of spaghetti dangled into it’s mouth like it was practicing it’s sword swallowing routine. In a restaurant. By a woman in a neckbrace.

These are the details that our future historians expect from us. Probably. And it is our duty to provide them.

What have you got?

j
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Old 02-05-2020, 03:15 PM
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I saw a fruit fly. Like a bullet.
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Old 02-05-2020, 03:23 PM
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I once saw a sheep try to fly. I noticed it did not fly so much as plummet.

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Old 02-05-2020, 05:15 PM
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I've not only seen an elephant fly, I helped make him fly.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by kk fusion View Post
I saw a fruit fly. Like a bullet.
Time flies like and arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:44 PM
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I have seen ball lightening.
I have seen race cars try to mate (we call it an incident, you call it a crash).
I have seen fish swimming in office water coolers.
I have seen mundane, pointless, information used to suck up my free time.
I have seen cats actually choose to throw up hairballs on the concrete floor instead of the rug. Them's good cats.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:49 PM
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oops

Last edited by carnut; 02-05-2020 at 05:49 PM. Reason: dbl post
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Old 02-05-2020, 06:39 PM
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I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
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Old 02-05-2020, 06:49 PM
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I saw a dog run from Arkansas to Texas.


He was on Stateline Blvd. in Texarkana. I nearly ran over him.
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Old 02-05-2020, 07:02 PM
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I saw Prince's famous peach-colored guitar from about five feet away.

I saw the space shuttle fly (almost) over downtown San Jose on its last flight south to retire. It was flying pretty low; I was in my tall office building downtown and it almost felt like it was barely above eye level.
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Old 02-05-2020, 07:09 PM
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I've seen a recently purchased used car have its check engine light go on and be diagnosed as probably needing a new catalytic converter . . .


wait for it . . .


while it's still under warranty.


Good car!
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Old 02-05-2020, 07:17 PM
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I saw where Cecil posted in this thread. Like a Bigfoot sighting, no one believed me.



(I'm lying )

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 02-05-2020 at 07:18 PM. Reason: Hope springs eternal
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Old 02-05-2020, 08:33 PM
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Way Down In Arkansas-The New Christy Minstrels

Last edited by running coach; 02-05-2020 at 08:33 PM.
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Old 02-05-2020, 11:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carnut View Post
I have seen cats actually choose to throw up hairballs on the concrete floor instead of the rug. Them's good cats.
I find this REALLY hard to believe. In all my 50+ years of owning cats, I've never seen this.

And I've seen ball lightning too.

And I've seen a horse fly. And I killed it.
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Old 02-06-2020, 03:17 AM
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(Lisa Simpson tattletale voice) MOOOODS!!!! The board's not letting me reply with a quote!

Quoting panache45: And I've seen a horse fly. And I killed it.

In your pajamas?

Last edited by jerez; 02-06-2020 at 03:18 AM.
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Old 02-06-2020, 03:43 AM
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Post #13
I've now found my new theme song. Thx. ()

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Old 02-06-2020, 04:52 AM
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I have seen armed troops in jeeps being chased by bison.

I have seen my cousin totally wrapped in duct tape at a party.

I have seen the Mars Rover's underside as it drove over me at a JPL demo.

I have seen a tornado blow a tree across the road 200 feet ahead of me.

I have seen politicians of rival parties cooperate. Can't happen now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by carnut View Post
I have seen cats actually choose to throw up hairballs on the concrete floor instead of the rug. Them's good cats.
I have seen a paper cup 3/4 filled with cat urine. The cup was in our car console. We forgot to let the The Ballerina out to pee when we stopped at a convenience store during a long drive. We returned to the car; she was asleep in back; the cup stood as mute evidence of her careful positioning to piss. Yes, a supercat.
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Old 02-06-2020, 05:37 AM
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Originally Posted by RioRico View Post
.........I have seen a paper cup 3/4 filled with cat urine. The cup was in our car console. We forgot to let the The Ballerina out to pee when we stopped at a convenience store during a long drive. We returned to the car; she was asleep in back; the cup stood as mute evidence of her careful positioning to piss. Yes, a supercat.
Heroic reportage. This, I feel, is exactly what our yet-to-be-born historians need from us - packed with important detail. They will glean from this that in the early years of this century, a cat pissing in a cup in a car understood that you must not overfill it. This shines a light on the intricacies of our lives. More like this - your great, great grandchildren will thank you for it!

j
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Old 02-06-2020, 07:45 AM
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Wait, back to the OP; was it the neck brace that made the incident so odd?
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Old 02-06-2020, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted by running coach View Post
I once saw a sheep try to fly. I noticed it did not fly so much as plummet.

Ever see a dogfly?
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:20 AM
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Wait, back to the OP; was it the neck brace that made the incident so odd?
Ah - kayaker - I see our role here primarily as gatherers of evidence. Best to leave interpretation to the experts. Once they've been born, obviously.

j

(OK, I'll say this much - her rigidity of posture, combined with the disciplined stillness of a begging dog, made for a striking composition.)
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Old 02-06-2020, 09:37 AM
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I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
  #23  
Old 02-06-2020, 10:58 AM
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I once picked the exact proper Allen wrench to remove a towel bar in the bathroom. It was nothing short of miraculous.
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:29 AM
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A lamp in my bathroom shower died. A custom lamp from a bankrupt company, installed in an old custom tiled ceiling with a hand-worked tile cutout and what look like brackets some guy made buy himself in a machine shop. Held in place with some absurdly long oddball "screws", if you can call them that, with a little bite-toothy end and some strange thread-shaft-thread-shaft-thread nonsense going on...

Well, maybe I'll try a $20 Home Depot light anyway before ripping out the ceiling tile and redoing everything from scratch.

Damn thing fit perfectly, using the two in-the-box standard screws. 5 minute job.
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Old 02-06-2020, 11:45 AM
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Around ten years of age and playing at a park, I happened to notice a dog trotting across the lawn in my direction. As I watched him, he slowed and then literally dropped dead. Shocked, I looked at him for several seconds before approaching him slowly. Sure enough, he was dead.

About six years ago, I was sitting out on my main lower deck enjoying the nature in the back. I noticed a squirrel traversing the power line towards my house, which annoyed me because they can damage your roof or eaves. suddenly, he just fell over sideways and landed on the ground. I just looked at him. He never moved again. Not really knowing what to do, I just used gloves and put the body in a kitchen garbage bag and took it out to the garbage bin for pickup.
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Last edited by Jasmine; 02-06-2020 at 11:46 AM.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasmine View Post
Around ten years of age and playing at a park, I happened to notice a dog trotting across the lawn in my direction. As I watched him, he slowed and then literally dropped dead. Shocked, I looked at him for several seconds before approaching him slowly. Sure enough, he was dead.

About six years ago, I was sitting out on my main lower deck enjoying the nature in the back. I noticed a squirrel traversing the power line towards my house, which annoyed me because they can damage your roof or eaves. suddenly, he just fell over sideways and landed on the ground. I just looked at him. He never moved again. Not really knowing what to do, I just used gloves and put the body in a kitchen garbage bag and took it out to the garbage bin for pickup.
I saw something similar. Some friends and I were walking through the woods and one of us noticed a chipmunk or something lying on its side on the ground. It was breathing and appeared to be looking at us but it wouldn't move. We stood around it for a few minutes and just went on our way.

ETA: True story, but the main purpose of this post is to check on a board malfunction.

Last edited by jerez; 02-06-2020 at 12:30 PM.
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Old 02-06-2020, 03:50 PM
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A couple weeks ago my teenage son changed the toilet paper roll all on his own. I swear.
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Old 02-06-2020, 03:50 PM
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A few months ago while walking the dog there was a dead cat on a concrete stepping stone thing. It had recently died. There were no signs of injury and looked normal – except for the being dead thing.
Nobody moved it. The concrete protected it from the dirt. So, a couple times a week we went by and I checked out the latest stage in its decomposing – and I won’t give any details.
Today there are a few bones on a concrete stepping stone that used to be a cat.
  #29  
Old 02-06-2020, 04:22 PM
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Panache45: Even better, I have a cat who, when sick, chose to lose her bowel content on the concrete instead of the rug. She is whip-smart. And she no longer eats that food....
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