#17451  
Old 02-06-2018, 01:47 PM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
That reminds me an old joke. What lives in a test tube and has a red nose?
__________________
End of Line.
  #17452  
Old 02-06-2018, 01:52 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Rudolph the alkaline solution?
  #17453  
Old 02-06-2018, 02:23 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Rudolph I can understand, but how did you come up with the bit about alkaline solution?
  #17454  
Old 02-06-2018, 03:02 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Well, you know, it's in a test tube, see...?
  #17455  
Old 02-06-2018, 03:04 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
Why aren't test tube babies long and skinny?
  #17456  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:47 PM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
The answer to the joke is Bozo the clone. Yeah, yeah, it's lame. I know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by buddha_david View Post
Why aren't test tube babies long and skinny?
Wait, they're actually a thing? They're not just sci-fi?
  #17457  
Old 02-06-2018, 10:50 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Have you never heard of in-vitro fertilization?
  #17458  
Old 02-07-2018, 01:34 AM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
Isn't that getting it on with a robot? Or am I confusing that with artificial insemination?
  #17459  
Old 02-07-2018, 11:05 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
If you have to ask, shouldn't you keep your zipper up?
  #17460  
Old 02-07-2018, 07:16 PM
Mr Zox is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 392
Hey, why do closing zippers go up instead of down?
  #17461  
Old 02-08-2018, 12:07 AM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 41,015
Have you tried standing on your head?
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #17462  
Old 02-08-2018, 12:25 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,972
What would happen if men just kept their zippers down all the time?
  #17463  
Old 02-08-2018, 08:32 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Lower sperm counts due to drafts?
  #17464  
Old 02-08-2018, 12:45 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Wouldn't that get really uncomfortable in winter?
  #17465  
Old 02-08-2018, 02:11 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
I know, right?
  #17466  
Old 02-09-2018, 02:31 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Why does nobody ever say, "I don't know, wrong"?
  #17467  
Old 02-09-2018, 02:43 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 58,238
Don't you know right from wrong?
  #17468  
Old 02-09-2018, 10:46 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Is it easier than knowing right from left?
  #17469  
Old 02-09-2018, 11:27 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Is anybody else getting a crick in their neck?
  #17470  
Old 02-10-2018, 12:18 AM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
Do your neck cricks creak?
  #17471  
Old 02-10-2018, 01:02 AM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,972
Do creek crickets neck?
  #17472  
Old 02-10-2018, 01:35 PM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 41,015
In which neck of the woods.
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #17473  
Old 02-10-2018, 02:40 PM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 41,015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siam Sam View Post
In which neck of the woods.
Hey, which of you sneaks stole my question mark?
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #17474  
Old 02-10-2018, 03:32 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Is there a question mark thief out there?
  #17475  
Old 02-10-2018, 09:23 PM
boson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: East of the moon
Posts: 1,972
Here. ? Would you believe I actually found it all by itself in another thread and I meant to return it promptly but got distracted by ...a...the Olympics opening ceremonies of something like that?
  #17476  
Old 02-11-2018, 02:46 AM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 41,015
You were really watching porn, weren't you?
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #17477  
Old 02-11-2018, 01:33 PM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
You mean the shirtless Tongan flag bearer?
  #17478  
Old 02-11-2018, 02:06 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 58,238
Does anybody else sing along with NBC's Olympic theme?
  #17479  
Old 02-11-2018, 04:42 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Does it have words?
  #17480  
Old 02-11-2018, 06:56 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Do you expect John Williams to do everything for you?
  #17481  
Old 02-11-2018, 07:00 PM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
Would that be too much to ask?
  #17482  
Old 02-11-2018, 08:51 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Does anybody outside the United States watch NBC's Olympic coverage?
  #17483  
Old 02-11-2018, 08:52 PM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
Wouldn't each country have their own official Olympics channel?
  #17484  
Old 02-12-2018, 10:04 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
What, NBC isn't good enough for goldang furriners?
  #17485  
Old 02-12-2018, 12:36 PM
GaryM's Avatar
GaryM is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: St. Louis, MO 50mi. West
Posts: 5,181
Does anyone really care about the Olympics?

GaryM
__________________
GaryM
  #17486  
Old 02-12-2018, 12:49 PM
Dropo is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 598
Does anyone know who took the gold medal in the Javelin Catch competition?
  #17487  
Old 02-12-2018, 02:01 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Whoever it is, may he rest in peace?
  #17488  
Old 02-12-2018, 07:44 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
What if he doesn't?
  #17489  
Old 02-13-2018, 07:19 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 58,238
Maybe someone should spearhead an investigation?
  #17490  
Old 02-13-2018, 08:41 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Eh, what's the point?
  #17491  
Old 02-13-2018, 11:23 AM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
We know what the point is. Now the question is, why?
__________________
End of Line.
  #17492  
Old 02-13-2018, 11:48 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle's Avatar
Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Chateau Pepperwinkle
Posts: 58,238
If Nobody asks Why, doesn't that mean it's obvious?
  #17493  
Old 02-13-2018, 03:02 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Isn't there another thread somewhere around here with similar puns?
  #17494  
Old 02-14-2018, 10:15 AM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Are you asking for directions?
  #17495  
Old 02-14-2018, 01:36 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Do you think that I don't know my way around the SDMB?
  #17496  
Old 02-14-2018, 02:26 PM
Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: my Herkimer Battle Jitney
Posts: 85,220
Are you fighting ignorance even now?
  #17497  
Old 02-14-2018, 03:13 PM
buddha_david is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Beyond The Fringe
Posts: 28,182
What happens when ignorance fights back?
  #17498  
Old 02-14-2018, 03:31 PM
Spoons is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Lethbridge, Alberta
Posts: 17,568
Won't that take longer than we thought?
  #17499  
Old 02-17-2018, 01:31 AM
Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 41,015
Are we lacking in resolve?
__________________
The two most interesting things in the world: Other people's sex lives and your own money.
  #17500  
Old 02-17-2018, 05:16 AM
Nobody is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Oregon
Posts: 11,462
What does carpet cleaner have to do with this?
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017