Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 04-14-2019, 09:50 PM
digs's Avatar
digs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: West of Wauwatosa
Posts: 9,278
I found myself watching the Masters today and I asked myself "WHY am I watching GOLF? I never have before..."

You may have given me the answer: with politicians shouting everywhere else, I chose to watch something where no one raises their voice.
  #102  
Old 04-14-2019, 10:35 PM
purplehorseshoe is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 9,818
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I feel ya, girl.
Okay, well, talk me outta this shit.

Please.

I know what "partner" feels like. This ain't it .. but I also feel so fucking OLD, and useless as a human being, and not nearly as pretty as my -ahem- perky 20-something self. And that's without this freaky Oil Painting In The Attic shit that's gotta expire eventually. But mostly, I don't wanna have to .. oh jeebus .. explain everything.

I have mental health problems. I had them before I was widowed "too young *tsk tsk* and with her other stuff" and they ain't getting better. Did you know trust issues don't resolve when .. oh fuck it.

Now I'm sobbing in my car, at a nearby park, because I'm also 8 years old, and Pokemon. And this is the closest Poke gym.
__________________
I can haz sig line?
  #103  
Old 04-14-2019, 10:54 PM
purplehorseshoe is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 9,818
You guys. I trust my Dopers. Please give me the kick in the ass I need. I've not posted this pissed off stalemate enough, because reasons.

I deserve better?

No?

Cuz every time I get halfway close to sacking up ("ovum up, girl") I think about the overwhelming odds of finding someone
1.) roughly my age*
and
2.) who can put up w my shit, there's lot of it,
and
3.) who's single for reasons that don't preclude a relationship. Divorced doesn't bother me, if you learned. But nobody I've met seems to learn.

I can't take on a man-child. I need someone who can wipe their own ass. And fucking wash the dishes, if I grocery shopped and schlepped in and cooked and. And. And.

And is okay with my weird little side hobby**, and my burning desire to have a couple chickens.




* oh, jeebus, the kids younger than me. That age is increasingly decrepit. But mid 30s and younger, whaddya mean you don't know who Nirvana is.

** involves rodents, and snakes. So un ladylike.
__________________
I can haz sig line?
  #104  
Old 04-15-2019, 12:19 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe View Post
You guys. I trust my Dopers. Please give me the kick in the ass I need. I've not posted this pissed off stalemate enough, because reasons.

I deserve better?

No?

Cuz every time I get halfway close to sacking up ("ovum up, girl") I think about the overwhelming odds of finding someone
1.) roughly my age*
and
2.) who can put up w my shit, there's lot of it,
and
3.) who's single for reasons that don't preclude a relationship. Divorced doesn't bother me, if you learned. But nobody I've met seems to learn.

I can't take on a man-child. I need someone who can wipe their own ass. And fucking wash the dishes, if I grocery shopped and schlepped in and cooked and. And. And.

And is okay with my weird little side hobby**, and my burning desire to have a couple chickens.




* oh, jeebus, the kids younger than me. That age is increasingly decrepit. But mid 30s and younger, whaddya mean you don't know who Nirvana is.

** involves rodents, and snakes. So un ladylike.
You definitely need a break. Can you get away for a day or two? You don't need a kick in the ass. You're kicking yourself. Theres nothing wrong with liking what you like, girly, youngish, tom-boyish no matter what. The heart wants what the heart wants. No need to explain, to anyone. If folks are asking you 'why?' Eliminate them from your circle. Quit kicking yourself.
I do get it. My issues are different than yours. And my peeps are always asking me why, why, why? I have some things I do that just drives them crazy. I know at this age I'm not changing anymore. I tell them daily to just get over it, I'm not interested in their opinions on how I can, should or try changing. Too late. This is the way I am. My near and dear loved ones have accepted it. I hope I have said something/anything that helps a bit.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 04-15-2019 at 12:21 AM.
  #105  
Old 04-15-2019, 01:22 AM
kaylasdad99 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 31,222
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe View Post
You guys. I trust my Dopers. Please give me the kick in the ass I need. I've not posted this pissed off stalemate enough, because reasons.

I deserve better?

No?

Cuz every time I get halfway close to sacking up ("ovum up, girl") I think about the overwhelming odds of finding someone
1.) roughly my age*
and
2.) who can put up w my shit, there's lot of it,
and
3.) who's single for reasons that don't preclude a relationship. Divorced doesn't bother me, if you learned. But nobody I've met seems to learn.

I can't take on a man-child. I need someone who can wipe their own ass. And fucking wash the dishes, if I grocery shopped and schlepped in and cooked and. And. And.

And is okay with my weird little side hobby**, and my burning desire to have a couple chickens.




* oh, jeebus, the kids younger than me. That age is increasingly decrepit. But mid 30s and younger, whaddya mean you don't know who Nirvana is.

** involves rodents, and snakes. So un ladylike.
Well, I heart ya, so at least you know you’re heart-able.

Also, I view you as a very strong woman, a survivor who’s endured more than I can imagine having to live through. Were I available, I’d apply for a spot on your waiting list with my head held high.

Your hobby doesn’t involve raising baby chicks to feed to rats and snakes, does it? ‘Cos eww.
  #106  
Old 04-15-2019, 02:22 AM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 40,897
Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
I found myself watching the Masters today and I asked myself "WHY am I watching GOLF? I never have before..."

You may have given me the answer: with politicians shouting everywhere else, I chose to watch something where no one raises their voice.
You're making me feel like watching golf... it sounds so... pacific...
__________________
Evidence gathered through the use of science is easily dismissed through the use of idiocy. - Czarcasm.
  #107  
Old 04-15-2019, 02:29 AM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 40,897
Horse-foot-glove, I'm kind of wishing I could introduce you to The Bestest Boyfriend, who was capable of taking care of himself and others, as well as having a pet boa and an iguana, and whose natural hours were compatible with yours (not terribly good at listening, but that seriously was his worst defect; how good are you at writing important stuff on brightly colored felt-tip pens and shoving it under someone's nose?). Are your rodents pets, or are they the snakes' food? Rodents pets plus snake pets seems like an unusual combo, but I guess so long as they're neither conscious of the other…

You don't need to settle down when the DOWN is a lot bigger than the settle. There are guys out there who are a good match for you. I do hope and believe that you can find one.
  #108  
Old 04-15-2019, 03:37 AM
Broomstick's Avatar
Broomstick is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 27,965
The current BF sounds like a bad deal - sounds like you're taking care of him, but who is taking care of you?

I've had a couple offers for BF since my husband died, but I've spent a lot of my life taking care of other people, if I can't have someone who will take care of ME at least half the time I'd rather be alone. I don't regret the time I spent caring for loved ones, but I'm tired, mentally and emotionally exhausted. The thing I need is a man-child or fixer-upper.
  #109  
Old 04-15-2019, 03:55 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
You know I found out long ago to make meals on my terms. I'm open to suggestion about favorites and special meals. The fact is I've cooked many game meats for Mr.Wrekker that I wouldn't eat if I was starving. But, the time the meal is served is my decision. No one is gonna tell me what to serve, when to serve or how to serve. Like I said, ask me nicely and I do about anything for you. But don't you dare take me for granted in the kitchen. That's when I go on strike. I'm not your personal chef or kitchen maid.
The people in your house that are eating what you prepare will adjust their timing if they get hungry enough. I promise. You cook it, they will come. Food is a great motivator.

ETA, now doing dishes is where I fall short. I've never been able to get anyone in my house to do it. Believe me I've tried.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 04-15-2019 at 03:57 AM.
  #110  
Old 04-15-2019, 04:09 AM
Monty's Avatar
Monty is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Beijing, China
Posts: 22,542
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayT View Post
Well ok but if I get to choose between the idiot in chief and golf I'm gonna watch the golf story.

Today's an odd-numbered day. Wouldn't the golf story be about the idiot-in-chief?
  #111  
Old 04-15-2019, 05:45 AM
Superdude is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: The Fortress of Solidude
Posts: 10,334
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplehorseshoe View Post
You guys. I trust my Dopers. Please give me the kick in the ass I need. I've not posted this pissed off stalemate enough, because reasons.

I deserve better?

No?

Cuz every time I get halfway close to sacking up ("ovum up, girl") I think about the overwhelming odds of finding someone
1.) roughly my age*
and
2.) who can put up w my shit, there's lot of it,
and
3.) who's single for reasons that don't preclude a relationship. Divorced doesn't bother me, if you learned. But nobody I've met seems to learn.

I can't take on a man-child. I need someone who can wipe their own ass. And fucking wash the dishes, if I grocery shopped and schlepped in and cooked and. And. And.

And is okay with my weird little side hobby**, and my burning desire to have a couple chickens.




* oh, jeebus, the kids younger than me. That age is increasingly decrepit. But mid 30s and younger, whaddya mean you don't know who Nirvana is.

** involves rodents, and snakes. So un ladylike.
For what it's worth, I've always had a huge Doper crush on you.

I found out today that I've been single for the last 2 weeks or so. Girl I was dating had withdrawn some. She's a widow, and we're approaching the anniversary of her husband's death. I understood. She asked for space and time, so I gave it to her. We'd talk on the phone or text off and on. Part of our problem was that we'd known each other for over 20 years, so moving from friends to lovers was naturally awkward. I was at the wedding to her now-deceased husband (at? I performed it).

Anyway, so I texted her just to check on her, as it had been a few days. And found out that she's moved on from a relationship that I didn't even know had ended.
__________________
I can't help being a gorgeous fiend. It's just the card I drew.
  #112  
Old 04-15-2019, 10:47 AM
Cheesesteak's Avatar
Cheesesteak is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Lovely Montclair, NJ
Posts: 13,197
This school year, a stairway collapsed at the high school (no injuries, thankfully). The structural failure has been decades in the making, years of poor maintenance procedures and inadequate inspections. Of course, people blame the Superintendent and Principal who have been in their respective positions a combined 3 years.

This kicked off a year long set of inspections (at every school) , hallway closings at the HS, rented classroom trailers, modified calendar, the works. The year for the high schoolers has been pretty disrupted. And now, the administration is releasing the repair schedule, including asbestos removal the last month of the school year (even more disruption) and a full summer of rebuilds, scheduled to be completed a week before school opens in the fall.

My rant isn't for the administration, it's for the complaining parents.

- The people you want fired were literally not here, and not in charge of any of this stuff when the damage was done.
- You have about 10% of the information they do regarding what went wrong, what needs to be done, and what is possible in regards to doing it.
- They considered the "fix it over the summer" option, AND the "start the project over the summer" option. Seriously, they're not morons.

This last one is a bit specific. In our town the school board is appointed by the Mayor, not separately elected.
- There is no cabal of school board members jealously guarding their cushy jobs. Until the last election 3 years ago, no Mayor had successfully been re-elected since at least 1980. To put in simpler terms, the person appointing the school board has changed every 4 years since forever. We have actually "voted the bums out" over and over and over again, and this particular situation still happened.

I know folks in my town LOVE complaining, but get a grip.
  #113  
Old 04-15-2019, 11:30 AM
Railer13 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,338
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheesesteak View Post
In our town the school board is appointed by the Mayor, not separately elected.
I have to admit that I was not aware of this particular policy anywhere in this country. But when I did a Google search, I found that there was evidence of existing or attempted mayoral control was found in about 20 major districts around the United States. These include school boards in both Chicago and New York City.

So, Cheeseteak, let me ask you: In your opinion, does this work in your town? Who gets appointed to the school board? Are they mayoral cronies, or those who speak up regarding school policy matters? Or both? Do people ask to be appointed?

Thanks in advance for any opinions you'd care to share.
  #114  
Old 04-15-2019, 12:14 PM
Cheesesteak's Avatar
Cheesesteak is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Lovely Montclair, NJ
Posts: 13,197
As far as I can tell, board members are generally professionals who have some link to education in their background. There are a few lawyers, people who have run schools or worked for schools at some point, maybe they were just active in the district as a parent. There was a kerfluffle recently because one member was subsequently elected to a high position in the teacher's union.

I can't say I'm aware of cronyism, and the revolving door mayorship over the last 40 years suggests that cronyism wouldn't last particularly long anyway.

There has been dysfunction on the board, with members being snippy and disrespectful to other members, but I imagine that can happen on any board.

Does it work? I think the board members take the job seriously, and they are qualified to understand and deal with educational matters. They may not always make the right decisions, but I don't think it's a problem with the system, elected boards screw up too. I do like the fact that they're not making decisions with a goal of securing re-election.

Edited to add, such as with this stairway problem, the board hasn't been publicly acting outraged on our behalf to make us feel more sympathetic towards them. They're just working with the administration to get it dealt with.

Last edited by Cheesesteak; 04-15-2019 at 12:18 PM.
  #115  
Old 04-15-2019, 01:46 PM
Railer13 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,338
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheesesteak View Post
As far as I can tell, board members are generally professionals who have some link to education in their background. There are a few lawyers, people who have run schools or worked for schools at some point, maybe they were just active in the district as a parent. There was a kerfluffle recently because one member was subsequently elected to a high position in the teacher's union.

I can't say I'm aware of cronyism, and the revolving door mayorship over the last 40 years suggests that cronyism wouldn't last particularly long anyway.

There has been dysfunction on the board, with members being snippy and disrespectful to other members, but I imagine that can happen on any board.

Does it work? I think the board members take the job seriously, and they are qualified to understand and deal with educational matters. They may not always make the right decisions, but I don't think it's a problem with the system, elected boards screw up too. I do like the fact that they're not making decisions with a goal of securing re-election.

Edited to add, such as with this stairway problem, the board hasn't been publicly acting outraged on our behalf to make us feel more sympathetic towards them. They're just working with the administration to get it dealt with.
Thank you for your reply. Your insight suggests that this system does indeed work. Most school board members that I know try to do the best job possible, but, as you point out, there is always the goal of re-election.
  #116  
Old 04-15-2019, 01:50 PM
Kobal2's Avatar
Kobal2 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Paris, France
Posts: 17,648
Whelp, there goes 13th century carpentry. And they'll probably replace it with some fucky glass-and-plastic high-tech looking bullshit, too. Thanks, 2019 ! Here I thought you were going to be my rebound for the awfulness that was 2018, and 2016 before that, but golly gee, you found it in you to dredge the pits of shit for something new and exciting. I'm sorry I doubted you.
And they said my alcoholism was a growing problem ! Shows how much they know.
__________________
--- ---
I'm not sure how to respond to this, but that's never stopped me before.

Last edited by Kobal2; 04-15-2019 at 01:51 PM.
  #117  
Old 04-15-2019, 04:20 PM
purplehorseshoe is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 9,818
Y'all are sweet. No lie, my ego lapped all that up. Thank you.
Bad ego!
I started a thread in MPSIMS and can't quite link, because either Tapatalk and phone, or because I'm dumb. Have at it over there, I don't want to hijack the monthly mini rant.
__________________
I can haz sig line?
  #118  
Old 04-15-2019, 04:22 PM
pohjonen's Avatar
pohjonen is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Almost Idaho
Posts: 1,647
Apparently, the mail person was totally flummoxed by the arcane and complicated workings of the not-locked gate, and so could not deliver my package. I am so chastened that I did not leave it open for him. Such sky high expectations on my part.
  #119  
Old 04-15-2019, 06:15 PM
aruvqan is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Eastern Connecticut
Posts: 16,681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
Whelp, there goes 13th century carpentry. And they'll probably replace it with some fucky glass-and-plastic high-tech looking bullshit, too. Thanks, 2019 ! Here I thought you were going to be my rebound for the awfulness that was 2018, and 2016 before that, but golly gee, you found it in you to dredge the pits of shit for something new and exciting. I'm sorry I doubted you.
And they said my alcoholism was a growing problem ! Shows how much they know.
one of the few non-human new flashes that had me in tears [i consider 9/11 to be about the people not the buildings] I can't believe I will never see Notre Dame again in this lifetime.
  #120  
Old 04-15-2019, 11:06 PM
TokyoBayer's Avatar
TokyoBayer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Taiwan
Posts: 10,060
OK, I know this isn’t the library but rather a(n indoor) public space. Still, for fuck’s sake, don’t use your phone as a goddamn speaker phone with the volume on the highest possible volume. And don’t carry on that conversation at length because I am childish and I will retaliate in kind.

And I’m the one who has a battery powered speaker large enough for classrooms of kindergarten kids. Large enough that I can no longer hear you or your conversation.

Although turning around and asking me to be quiet because you were on a call was ironic. A pity Guns N’ Roses was too loud for me to hear your request.
  #121  
Old 04-15-2019, 11:21 PM
digs's Avatar
digs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: West of Wauwatosa
Posts: 9,278
When someone's on their phone in a usually quiet place, I tend to interject comments into their conversation.

Inconsiderate Phoner: "No, I can talk. Everyone here's just studying... I'm in some hipster coffee place..."

Moi: "NO HE'S NOT. Honey, why can't you just admit you're in a gay bar?"

IP: "Excuse me?..."

Moi: "SQUEEZE YOU? Sweetheart, if I did, you would NEVER let go."

IP: "Umm, I'm going to take this outside..."

Moi: "Awww, WHAT a shame."
  #122  
Old 04-16-2019, 12:27 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
When someone's on their phone in a usually quiet place, I tend to interject comments into their conversation.

Inconsiderate Phoner: "No, I can talk. Everyone here's just studying... I'm in some hipster coffee place..."

Moi: "NO HE'S NOT. Honey, why can't you just admit you're in a gay bar?"

IP: "Excuse me?..."

Moi: "SQUEEZE YOU? Sweetheart, if I did, you would NEVER let go."

IP: "Umm, I'm going to take this outside..."

Moi: "Awww, WHAT a shame."
Nice. That made me laugh.
  #123  
Old 04-16-2019, 10:56 AM
Projammer's Avatar
Projammer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SW Arkansas
Posts: 6,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
When someone's on their phone in a usually quiet place, I tend to interject comments into their conversation.

Inconsiderate Phoner: "No, I can talk. Everyone here's just studying... I'm in some hipster coffee place..."

Moi: "NO HE'S NOT. Honey, why can't you just admit you're in a gay bar?"

IP: "Excuse me?..."

Moi: "SQUEEZE YOU? Sweetheart, if I did, you would NEVER let go."

IP: "Umm, I'm going to take this outside..."

Moi: "Awww, WHAT a shame."
That is so going into my repertoire.
  #124  
Old 04-16-2019, 12:57 PM
Projammer's Avatar
Projammer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SW Arkansas
Posts: 6,575
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
Whelp, there goes 13th century carpentry. And they'll probably replace it with some fucky glass-and-plastic high-tech looking bullshit, too.
I'll bet good money you're wrong on that part. It'll get rebuilt back to the original appearance with minimal "improvements". I'm just wondering what structural building code they'll go with. Will it be original with only necessary upgrades or full on 2020 code requirements.
  #125  
Old 04-16-2019, 02:04 PM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 40,897
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kobal2 View Post
Whelp, there goes 13th century carpentry. And they'll probably replace it with some fucky glass-and-plastic high-tech looking bullshit, too. Thanks, 2019 ! Here I thought you were going to be my rebound for the awfulness that was 2018, and 2016 before that, but golly gee, you found it in you to dredge the pits of shit for something new and exciting. I'm sorry I doubted you.
And they said my alcoholism was a growing problem ! Shows how much they know.
I take it you're not a fan of Rafael Moneo (warning: may cause rage)? I'm of the personal opinion that anybody who gives him (another) so-called "restoration" job should be served to the wolves at the nearest zoo, but that's just my opinion.
__________________
Evidence gathered through the use of science is easily dismissed through the use of idiocy. - Czarcasm.
  #126  
Old 04-16-2019, 05:36 PM
Guest-starring: Id!'s Avatar
Guest-starring: Id! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,774
Hopefully Ronaldo sculptor Emanuel Santos is on this.
  #127  
Old 04-16-2019, 05:36 PM
Catamount is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: God's Waiting Room, NC
Posts: 9,796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nava View Post
I take it you're not a fan of Rafael Moneo (warning: may cause rage)? I'm of the personal opinion that anybody who gives him (another) so-called "restoration" job should be served to the wolves at the nearest zoo, but that's just my opinion.
He certainly does like the sharp, pointy corners doesn't he?

I'm not too concerned about someone trying to modernize Notre Dame too much. It's a UNESCO heritage site.
  #128  
Old 04-16-2019, 07:26 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Oh, innaminnit! But, alas Mr.Wrekker is cramping my adventure stylings. I'm sure this dog had a story or 2.
Mr.Wrekker needs to go on a trip or I'm gonna take him for a little ride.
Big Nasty, da-dirty-deck-dog, has been risen. I was sure Mr.Wrekker had tripled S'd him. But, nope, he's back. He looks a bit cleaner, still limping. As soon as Mr.Wrekker left for the lake house he strolled back in. I think he must be a foxhound. They are let loose at night and are sometimes not caught up in the morning if they are slow or lazy. Usually the hunter looks around for them. I have a sneaky feeling this is just not one of their prized hounds. Judging from the fact he moves at the speed of molasses. Hmmmm?
  #129  
Old 04-17-2019, 07:57 AM
MissTake is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Here
Posts: 4,363
Yesterday I had my annual re-up physical for remaining on the transplant list. I've been cleared, so good for me. However.
Six years ago I had asked about a nephrectomy, as these guys are huge (now estimated 20-22 lbs for my left kidney, 15-17 lbs for my right kidney). Back then I was patted on the head, told I obviously wanted it for cosmetic reasons, they just don't DO that, etc etc. Granted, being 49 and looking 7 months pregnant sucks. I would like to be able to touch my toes, not have to origami myself to shave my legs, lay on my back without horrendous back pain. I would also like to eat a full meal, rather than snacking all day because there's no room in my stomach and would like to NOT have the chance of one of the cysts rupture, which causes excruciating pain. It's much more than vanity.
Then it changed to "Six months after transplant we'll remove your bad ones". Not great, but I could deal with it. Many hospitals do nephrectomies at the time of transplant. I mean, if you're going to wreak havoc on the body, do it all at once. This hospital is conservative and won't budge on the six months.

Yesterday. Ugh. Now they want the nephrectomy done now. There's still some room for the transplant, but it's kind of iffy. If I do it, I'm paused on the transplant list for minimum three months. Now, what's three months when I've been waiting over six years? That's just it. I'm almost at the top of the list. A beautiful kidney shows up perfect for me... and I won't get it. Plus the surgeon noted major surgeries after transplant are more difficult. Then why the whole six month thing I was told the last two years? No answer. She also noted they do nephrectomies laproscopically, which wouldn't happen if it was done at time of transplant. I have no idea how they could remove them laproscopically - they're so huge and entangled in everything.

I'm really torn. I really would like these guys out. They literally do nothing but cause misery. I do NOT want to be paused for minimum three months. I would rather have them removed at time of transplant, slice me open, I don't care. If they make the decision I must have them removed now, I will really have no choice, as they can remove me from the list for noncompliance.
  #130  
Old 04-17-2019, 10:15 AM
overlyverbose is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: STLMO
Posts: 6,320
Jesus, MissTake, that is fucking awful. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
  #131  
Old 04-17-2019, 11:48 AM
kaylasdad99 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Anaheim, CA
Posts: 31,222
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTake View Post
Yesterday I had my annual re-up physical for remaining on the transplant list. I've been cleared, so good for me. However.
Six years ago I had asked about a nephrectomy, as these guys are huge (now estimated 20-22 lbs for my left kidney, 15-17 lbs for my right kidney). Back then I was patted on the head, told I obviously wanted it for cosmetic reasons, they just don't DO that, etc etc. Granted, being 49 and looking 7 months pregnant sucks. I would like to be able to touch my toes, not have to origami myself to shave my legs, lay on my back without horrendous back pain. I would also like to eat a full meal, rather than snacking all day because there's no room in my stomach and would like to NOT have the chance of one of the cysts rupture, which causes excruciating pain. It's much more than vanity.
Then it changed to "Six months after transplant we'll remove your bad ones". Not great, but I could deal with it. Many hospitals do nephrectomies at the time of transplant. I mean, if you're going to wreak havoc on the body, do it all at once. This hospital is conservative and won't budge on the six months.

Yesterday. Ugh. Now they want the nephrectomy done now. There's still some room for the transplant, but it's kind of iffy. If I do it, I'm paused on the transplant list for minimum three months. Now, what's three months when I've been waiting over six years? That's just it. I'm almost at the top of the list. A beautiful kidney shows up perfect for me... and I won't get it. Plus the surgeon noted major surgeries after transplant are more difficult. Then why the whole six month thing I was told the last two years? No answer. She also noted they do nephrectomies laproscopically, which wouldn't happen if it was done at time of transplant. I have no idea how they could remove them laproscopically - they're so huge and entangled in everything.

I'm really torn. I really would like these guys out. They literally do nothing but cause misery. I do NOT want to be paused for minimum three months. I would rather have them removed at time of transplant, slice me open, I don't care. If they make the decision I must have them removed now, I will really have no choice, as they can remove me from the list for noncompliance.
Does your hospital's program have a provision for accepting a kidney from a live donor who would designate that the kidney go to a specific patient?

'Cos my blood type is B positive.
  #132  
Old 04-17-2019, 01:45 PM
Chimera is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In the Dreaming
Posts: 24,312
7:30am - Construction guy on a lift outside my bedroom window wakes me up. I pull the covers around me, go to the bathroom, take a shower, very very angry.

7:50am - Come out of the shower, peek into my room, he's not there. I start getting dressed. About half-way through, he comes back up. I scream at him. He doesn't move.

9am - Talk to the complex manager, who takes me to the construction site supervisor. Asshole smiles in my face and says it is allowed because they're not *inside* my unit.

Call the police. Sorry, unless there's intent to invade your privacy, they're not breaking the law.

Call the apartment management company. They'll get back to me.

Call the construction company to complain about it. Higher up asks me if they gave me any notice they would do this. Nope. Says he'll talk to his people and get back to me.

Me: "Your people have plenty of other things to do. They have no reason to be outside ANYONE's bedroom window at 7:30am".


And yet I'm certain that if I was female, the entire tone of this conversation would be quite different and they would actually be taking it seriously.

__________________
Tentatively and lightly dipping my toes back in the water.
  #133  
Old 04-17-2019, 01:52 PM
MissTake is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Here
Posts: 4,363
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 View Post
Does your hospital's program have a provision for accepting a kidney from a live donor who would designate that the kidney go to a specific patient?

'Cos my blood type is B positive.
They sure do. Unfortunately, I'm O-. The universal donor. Everyone goes ahead of me. But that is very kind of you.
  #134  
Old 04-17-2019, 02:18 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTake View Post
They sure do. Unfortunately, I'm O-. The universal donor. Everyone goes ahead of me. But that is very kind of you.
IAN anybody who knows anything about kidney stuff (except I'm diabetic and maybe will be a kidney patient, one day). I would get the kidney removal. Find some comfort now. Heal and get back on the list. Good luck to you.
  #135  
Old 04-17-2019, 06:04 PM
Catamount is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: God's Waiting Room, NC
Posts: 9,796
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTake View Post
They sure do. Unfortunately, I'm O-. The universal donor. Everyone goes ahead of me. But that is very kind of you.
I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how you were doing. I'd give you one of my kidneys because I'm type O, too, but sadly I'm too positive. Fingers crossed a more negative person comes your way.

How could they get all of your kidneys out laroscopically, especially if they're as huge as they are? They would be in there for hours. Might as well just do a plain old incision so they can see what they're taking out.
  #136  
Old 04-17-2019, 06:58 PM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
You know how they say things happen in 3s? I saw an ad about a guy who had ducklings for sale. No phone number just an address. Near enough I decided to drive over.
On the highway I was driving along and I see bluelights behind me I pull over as far as I could and let it by. 2 sheriff's deputies, going about 100mph. Lights and sirens blaring. I think, uh-oh there's a wreck at the cross roads. I get up there thinking car parts and dismembered bodies would be laying around. Nada. A (the) state trooper was sitting askew in the lot of a closed store. I made my turn thinking something ain't right here. I get to the little townlet where this guy lives. Stopped at a convienance store for a drink and scratch-off tickets. Walked to a trash can to throw something away. When I opened the lid an opossum jumped up and out. Nearly clocking me right in the head. I almost had a heart attack.
I get in to leave thinking what a weird thing. Drive on down a country lane to this guys house to see ducklings. Fun. I find it easy enough. Sign in front says "Goats, chicks and ducks for sale" Yeah, beck right place. I look around for any sign of life. No one around. It's a spooky enough place, my head's saying "don't do it, beck! Don't get out of the car, girl. What do I do? Jump out to walk around the back of a barn looking for a pond or penned up animals. There's neither. A ways across a pasture I see a person. A rather large man with overalls and no shirt on. He has something long in his hand. He sees me. Oh, shit that long thing is a gun. I swear he moves to raise it. I am gone. I don't know how I ran so fast. I was in my car and down the drive in minutes. I'm sure I heard a shot ring out. I've been around a fair bit of shooting. I know a 22° rifle sounds like a ping compared to a shotgun boom. This was a ping. I never looked back.
How are all these things connected? Not sure.
But, my scratch-offs were losers too.
Not my lucky day. At. All.
  #137  
Old 04-17-2019, 09:10 PM
Monty's Avatar
Monty is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Beijing, China
Posts: 22,542
You know that bit about "coming in 3s"? Well, that's just a handy way to divide the bad stuff, IME.
  #138  
Old 04-18-2019, 12:05 AM
Chimera is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In the Dreaming
Posts: 24,312
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimera View Post
And yet I'm certain that if I was female, the entire tone of this conversation would be quite different and they would actually be taking it seriously.
Apparently I'm wrong about that. One of my co-workers lives in the same complex. She said she was in her apartment in her underwear when a guy appeared on her deck and started working.

You know, I'd think the professional response would be to leave and come back later when you see people sleeping or in various states of undress in their own apartments, but apparently this company isn't very professional.

I'm waiting to sign my new lease within the next two weeks and then I'm going to paint this construction company red with bad reviews that spell out exactly how they don't give a fuck about the residents of buildings they work on, their property(1), their pets(2), their privacy or their complaints.


(1) While they were working, they would prop open apartment doors and then proceed to leave them open all day, even when they left the building to go to lunch. They also propped open the outside doors.

(2) When I expressed concern about my cats and them working inside my apartment (in every room), I was told to lock them in the bathroom. How that was supposed to work when they were working inside that same bathroom three of those days was never explained. Instead I put them in either the bedroom or blocked off in the living room with signs explaining that they were there and not to let them out.
__________________
Tentatively and lightly dipping my toes back in the water.
  #139  
Old 04-18-2019, 01:00 AM
nightshadea is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: a condo in hell 10th lvl
Posts: 4,833
I have a few ouchies... I was helping my aunt do some yard work and i packed a trash container full of weeds and it was still packed when I dumped it the yard bin but it didn't go in so i decided to climb up and stomp it with one leg on the thing i use to climb in and one leg in the can


I fell through because it wasn't at the bottom and was stuck with one leg in and one leg out and the lower half of me hurts now .......
  #140  
Old 04-18-2019, 01:29 AM
Beckdawrek's Avatar
Beckdawrek is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: So.Ark ?
Posts: 14,433
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightshadea View Post
I have a few ouchies... I was helping my aunt do some yard work and i packed a trash container full of weeds and it was still packed when I dumped it the yard bin but it didn't go in so i decided to climb up and stomp it with one leg on the thing i use to climb in and one leg in the can


I fell through because it wasn't at the bottom and was stuck with one leg in and one leg out and the lower half of me hurts now .......
Ouch. Man oh man!
You're gonna be sore tomorrow. Maybe a hot bath and wine?
  #141  
Old 04-18-2019, 10:37 AM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 34,160
I haven't had grapefruit in months! What in the hell did I eat to make my burps taste like grapefruit?
  #142  
Old 04-18-2019, 12:30 PM
aruvqan is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Eastern Connecticut
Posts: 16,681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimera View Post
7:30am - Construction guy on a lift outside my bedroom window wakes me up. I pull the covers around me, go to the bathroom, take a shower, very very angry.

7:50am - Come out of the shower, peek into my room, he's not there. I start getting dressed. About half-way through, he comes back up. I scream at him. He doesn't move.

9am - Talk to the complex manager, who takes me to the construction site supervisor. Asshole smiles in my face and says it is allowed because they're not *inside* my unit.

Call the police. Sorry, unless there's intent to invade your privacy, they're not breaking the law.

Call the apartment management company. They'll get back to me.

Call the construction company to complain about it. Higher up asks me if they gave me any notice they would do this. Nope. Says he'll talk to his people and get back to me.

Me: "Your people have plenty of other things to do. They have no reason to be outside ANYONE's bedroom window at 7:30am".


And yet I'm certain that if I was female, the entire tone of this conversation would be quite different and they would actually be taking it seriously.

Blinds/draperies/*window coverings* ??????

Sorry, I have a 'thing' about people being able to look into my living spaces. I would live in a bunker if it were possible. Sorry, ptsd from being stalked, I don't like being watched especially if I don't know about it or am not in a public space.
  #143  
Old 04-18-2019, 11:15 PM
nightshadea is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: a condo in hell 10th lvl
Posts: 4,833
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Ouch. Man oh man!
You're gonna be sore tomorrow. Maybe a hot bath and wine?
actually wasnt sore after a few advil

heres how my evening was crapped on .... major bad language tho

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...d.php?t=874273
  #144  
Old 04-19-2019, 08:21 AM
Jeep's Phoenix's Avatar
Jeep's Phoenix is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,559
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skywatcher View Post
I haven't had grapefruit in months! What in the hell did I eat to make my burps taste like grapefruit?
What food combos are you eating? Mandarin oranges, followed approximately a half hour later by a tiny piece of peppermint candy (made with real peppermint oil!), results in an afternoon of bourbon-flavored burps.

Last edited by Jeep's Phoenix; 04-19-2019 at 08:22 AM.
  #145  
Old 04-19-2019, 08:25 AM
JohnT's Avatar
JohnT is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 22,046
I don't know if this is a rant... don't think it is worth a thread either... but I really wish we could decouple the word "saving" from the concept of "spending less money".

If you have two equal items, one is $2,500 the other $2,300, you didn't "save" $200. You just spent $200 less.

Imho, this matters as people are bad enough at managing money that we don't need to muddy the waters over the concept of "saving". If you want to save, don't spend the money! If you want to spend, spend the money - just spend as little as you can. But don't call "spending as little as you can", "saving money".

Thank you.
  #146  
Old 04-19-2019, 09:48 AM
Railer13 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,338
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnT View Post
I don't know if this is a rant... don't think it is worth a thread either... but I really wish we could decouple the word "saving" from the concept of "spending less money".

If you have two equal items, one is $2,500 the other $2,300, you didn't "save" $200. You just spent $200 less.

Imho, this matters as people are bad enough at managing money that we don't need to muddy the waters over the concept of "saving". If you want to save, don't spend the money! If you want to spend, spend the money - just spend as little as you can. But don't call "spending as little as you can", "saving money".

Thank you.
A rant that I can completely agree with!

A local car dealer commercial states, very loudly and ad nauseum, "If you don't come see me today, I can't save you any money!"

Oh yes I can. If I don't come see you, I will save thousands of dollars.
  #147  
Old 04-19-2019, 09:59 AM
JohnT's Avatar
JohnT is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 22,046
PROTIP: If your bank account went down because you spent $ on consumerist items, you didn't save anything, no matter how little you spent.

Last edited by JohnT; 04-19-2019 at 10:00 AM.
  #148  
Old 04-19-2019, 10:07 AM
BubbaDog's Avatar
BubbaDog is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: KC MO or there abouts
Posts: 5,659
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skywatcher View Post
I haven't had grapefruit in months! What in the hell did I eat to make my burps taste like grapefruit?
This quite obviously would make a great sig line.
  #149  
Old 04-19-2019, 10:45 AM
Skywatcher's Avatar
Skywatcher is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Somewhere in the Potomac
Posts: 34,160
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix View Post
What food combos are you eating?
Just my usual breakfast when I posted: chocolate-flavored instant SlimFast and coffee. Never had that come back as grapefruit before!

Last edited by Skywatcher; 04-19-2019 at 10:45 AM.
  #150  
Old 04-19-2019, 10:57 AM
Morgyn is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In the time stream
Posts: 5,471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skywatcher View Post
I haven't had grapefruit in months! What in the hell did I eat to make my burps taste like grapefruit?
Yesterday I had Indian for lunch. A couple of hours later I burped and (yes) tasted Indian. Totally expected.

Totally unexpected was the abrupt burning sensation in my sinuses that smelled like the Indian food. How in hell did the spices get into my nose?!
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:24 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017