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  #51  
Old 01-10-2019, 11:21 AM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Separated by one:

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)

I haz silencer.

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"Blue, Navy Blue, he's as blue as he can be;
'Cause my steady boy said "Avatar!" and joined the Na'avi."
  #52  
Old 01-10-2019, 12:16 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What exactly is a "no thumb safety?"
Bra Gun


Better keep those thumbs to yourself, bub.
  #53  
Old 01-10-2019, 05:29 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Impeachment? Then, what?
More NC Elections Shenanigans
  #54  
Old 01-11-2019, 08:10 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Should we get a budgie?
Being the last poster of a thread and then it dies


THIS! Is an ... EX ... BUDGIE!
  #55  
Old 01-11-2019, 08:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
Separated by one:

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)

I haz silencer.

Not together but in reverse order:

I haz silencer.
TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)


At least one can suffer in silence.
  #56  
Old 01-11-2019, 10:14 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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[b] Where's Bricker?
What to do in Dallas?
My bank account was hacked. [b]

Where's Bricker? In Dallas, hacking bank accounts!
  #57  
Old 01-11-2019, 11:28 AM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
[B] Where's Bricker?
What to do in Dallas?
My bank account was hacked. [B]

Where's Bricker? In Dallas, hacking bank accounts!

With a Lead Pipe!
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"Blue, Navy Blue, he's as blue as he can be;
'Cause my steady boy said "Avatar!" and joined the Na'avi."
  #58  
Old 01-11-2019, 05:38 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Hate your job? Take solace in this fact:
I do not have an ego
  #59  
Old 01-11-2019, 06:54 PM
Two Many Cats Two Many Cats is online now
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All the transgender/binary/genderqueer/LGBQTIetc is just the 2010's equivalent of...

1970's Custom Vans!

And they're absolutely faaaaabulousss!!!

Last edited by Two Many Cats; 01-11-2019 at 06:54 PM.
  #60  
Old 01-11-2019, 07:23 PM
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Channing Idaho Banks Channing Idaho Banks is offline
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What's the worst reaction you've ever had to medication?

Celebrity Death Pool 2019
  #61  
Old 01-11-2019, 09:32 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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I have stopped . . .
I'm a half an inch off from the universe.


I'm picturing Wile E. Coyote the moment after he's run of the edge of a cliff. Only this would be worse. I think.

Last edited by Hopeful Crow; 01-11-2019 at 09:34 PM.
  #62  
Old 01-12-2019, 09:16 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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How do you organize your books?
I'm gonna assume you are physically plain, "imperfect" or outright homely...


Lessee...wig and toupee books, lowest shelf...plastic surgery for dummies, middle shelf...masks and cosmetics, whole separate bookcase...
  #63  
Old 01-12-2019, 04:41 PM
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MEBuckner MEBuckner is offline
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If you have a very attractive sibling, do you recognize that they're attractive?
Who's that man?


"...He's a real hunk!"
"For God's sake, Mary Sue, that's your brother!"
  #64  
Old 01-12-2019, 06:19 PM
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kunilou kunilou is offline
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What's the most interesting car you saw today?

1970's Custom Vans!!!
  #65  
Old 01-12-2019, 06:34 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Is your blood missing Indian B? Zainab needs you!
Free Jeep!


Wow, all my blood bank gives donors is orange juice and cookies.
  #66  
Old 01-13-2019, 08:11 AM
stillownedbysetters stillownedbysetters is offline
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All the transgender/nonbinary/genderqueer/LGBTQIA+ stuff of today, is just the 2010s equivalent of..
Should we get a budgie?
Clearly, I've been gone too long...

  #67  
Old 01-13-2019, 08:15 AM
stillownedbysetters stillownedbysetters is offline
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USPS package tracking is down?
I have stopped . . .



I started out so hopeful but with the government shutdown, and now this.....
  #68  
Old 01-13-2019, 12:20 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Why is prostitution illegal?
Is Fox News really all that bad?


They lost a certain amount of credibility after changing their motto from "Fair and Balanced" to "Girls, Girls, Girls!".
  #69  
Old 01-13-2019, 02:32 PM
Hopeful Crow Hopeful Crow is offline
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I have stopped . . .
The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread


But it was going so well!
  #70  
Old 01-14-2019, 08:55 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What was South Asian cuisine like before the Columbian Exchange ?
Glow in the dark


Heavy on fungi, huh? Cool!
  #71  
Old 01-14-2019, 09:04 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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From New Posts, and much too good to wste:

Why is prostitution illegal?
Trump associates may have...
Most expensive punchline?


Trump and an pensive prostitute punchline. It writes itself.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 01-14-2019 at 09:04 AM.
  #72  
Old 01-14-2019, 12:13 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Breaking a Trillion Dollar Bill - Possible?
A foot in YOUR door.


Anyone who puts a foot in my door asking for change of a trillion dollar bill gets the hose.
  #73  
Old 01-14-2019, 09:35 PM
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kunilou kunilou is offline
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Catch a Predator

1970's Custom Vans!!!


It's like honey to a bear!
  #74  
Old 01-15-2019, 07:43 AM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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European housing - what's with all the doors and corridors?

A foot in YOUR door.




See, if they Didn't have "all the doors and corridors", you couldn't guarantee that you'd have a foot in your door.
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"Blue, Navy Blue, he's as blue as he can be;
'Cause my steady boy said "Avatar!" and joined the Na'avi."
  #75  
Old 01-15-2019, 08:52 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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what will be the next nutritional "wisdom" or big food fad?
Pet Groomers: Will You Express a Dog's Butt Glands? (TMI)


New from Nature Valley: Canis Derriere Liquid Essence™ - All-Natural, Organic, Non-GMO. Supports Heart, Liver, Gastrointestinal and Butt Health*. Now available in handy spray canister.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to treat, prevent, mitigate or cause any disease. Do not take Canis Derriere Liquid Essence™ if you are allergic to it or participating in online dating.
  #76  
Old 01-15-2019, 10:08 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Which is grammatically correct?
If you have a very attractive sibling, do you recognize that they're attractive?
Cats & their "wet" food


The first one is more correct. Singular "they" has been in use for centuries, while scare quotes are sometimes frowned upon if you are not actually quoting someone or referring to the usage of a word.
  #77  
Old 01-15-2019, 10:23 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Trump serving fast food to Clemson players during White House visit
It Came From The Crypt (Sequential Threads 2019)


What came from the crypt--the fast food or Trump?
  #78  
Old 01-15-2019, 01:19 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Trump serving fast food to Clemson players during White House visit
1970's Custom Vans!!!


Hope he also remembered to hand out complimentary high-top Keds sneakers.
  #79  
Old 01-15-2019, 02:05 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Why is prostitution illegal?
The five billion dollar wall


We can't have freelancers competing with the wall's glory holes!
  #80  
Old 01-15-2019, 04:33 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Things people buy and end up not using.
Sardines!
  #81  
Old 01-15-2019, 07:55 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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When did country music jump the shark?
Songs that should end before they do


Country songs should all end right when they begin amirite?
  #82  
Old 01-16-2019, 09:20 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Things you do, that without context...
rehab after a stroke


By "stroke", I didn't mean that!
  #83  
Old 01-17-2019, 08:45 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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The greatest skill I've ever acquired in my life
Being the last poster in a thread and then it dies


And to think I was satisfied with finally learning to tie my shoelaces.

TMI: My rectum is on fire (anal fissure)
Do you hold grudges?
  #84  
Old 01-17-2019, 11:54 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Toddler's car seat falls out of car and is unharmed and rescued.
Do you hold grudges?


Toddler: 'Nah, I'm OK. It's all good.'
  #85  
Old 01-17-2019, 12:28 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Do you hold grudges?
Deaths in the family


Cousin shouldn't have made me take the smaller cookie when I was five.
  #86  
Old 01-18-2019, 02:41 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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A foot in YOUR door.
MRI on my knee - a little help please?


Next time, keep your foot out of MY door.
  #87  
Old 01-18-2019, 04:20 PM
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MEBuckner MEBuckner is offline
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What does non-toxic masculinity look like?
The five billion dollar wall


Non-toxic masculinity.
  #88  
Old 01-18-2019, 06:03 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Fermi Paradox. What am I missing?
Cities lined up in a row?


Only ALIENS could have drawn such a straight line that our cities are placed on!
  #89  
Old 01-18-2019, 07:01 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Euphemisms for sex in Rock & Roll
Question about ineligible receivers


  #90  
Old 01-19-2019, 11:21 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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In medical systems that reward doctors for patient outcomes, how to avoid cherry picking patients
Go to first new post low sodium ..... mayonnaise???


Not a bad idea. I've seen ads that say "Practice Limited To Miracle Whip Users".
  #91  
Old 01-19-2019, 01:00 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What is--and isn't--a dinosaur?
What's this Old Timey thing in photograph


She does look a bit reptilian in a long-necked gown, but I'd swear that's Great-Aunt Mabel.
  #92  
Old 01-20-2019, 09:16 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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How much change?
Ask the trans woman.


I dunno, worth asking.
  #93  
Old 01-20-2019, 10:04 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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What is--and isn't--a dinosaur?
Cockroaches


They are simultaneously dinosaurs and not dinosaurs.
  #94  
Old 01-20-2019, 11:11 AM
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ftg ftg is offline
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A three-fer:

Update: I have a Consulting Job Now
New job! I've never been the boss before.
Real life Cinderella Stories


Getting a job as a consulting boss (?) is the new Cinderella story.
  #95  
Old 01-20-2019, 04:20 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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How do the adjustable knobs in my car work?
What Aircraft Is This?


I'll take "Top !00 Things You Don't Want To Hear Your Driver Or Pilot Say" for $200, Alex.
  #96  
Old 01-20-2019, 04:59 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Help me rethink my stew recipe
Danny Partridge
  #97  
Old 01-21-2019, 07:53 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Ask the trans woman.
George Washingtons dentist


If this is the plot of the next Will Ferrell movie, I refuse to even watch the trailer.
  #98  
Old 01-21-2019, 09:36 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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What's white on the outside and brown on the inside?
Worst skyscraper ever
  #99  
Old 01-21-2019, 02:06 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Dillinger’s or anyone’s penis
"Johnny come lately"...


I thought he only referred to it as "Dick", "Johnson" or "Cock Robin".
  #100  
Old 01-22-2019, 07:59 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Signing off
Dillinger’s or anyone’s penis


Welcometoindianamonhaveaniceday
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