Straight Dope Message Board

[kaylasdad99]

Why do squids have ten tentacles?

SPOILER:

Because if they had eleven, they'd be eleventacles.

Any other dads on the Dope? Got a Dad joke? 1

[DorkVader]

Whats green all over and wears a cape?

SPOILER:

Super Cucumber

2

[Slow Moving Vehicle]

Why are they called “Dad jokes”?

SPOILER:

Because they’re readily apparent.

3

[USCDiver]

Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle

Why are they called “Dad jokes”?

SPOILER:

Because they’re readily apparent.

I heard it as:
What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

It’s usually apparent! 4

[burpo the wonder mutt]

I just posted this not ten minutes ago; does it count? 5

[Alpha Twit]

"Knock, knock"

"Who's there?"

"Two"

"Two who?"

No, no, it's to whom." 6

[Alpha Twit]

"Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"

"No"

"I thought it was you!" 7

[janis_and_c0]

If I make a Dad joke in this thread would that be a

SPOILER:

faux pa?

8

[Slow Moving Vehicle]

Originally Posted by USCDiver

I heard it as:
What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

It’s usually apparent!

Your version's better. 9

[RioRico]

For me it was Grandpa.

"Calm down! Don't let your shirt run up and down your back like a window-shade!"

Now that I'm a grandpa, I scare the grandkids with my gnarly, fungal toes.

But I was never into Dad jokes. Does that make me a bad father? 10

[Dinsdale]

I got a ton of them. Of course, I favored them when I was a kid - not sure when they became "Dad" jokes.
A couple of my faves are:

What's brown and sticky?

SPOILER:

A stick

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

SPOILER:

Dung! (said like a bell ringing)

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

SPOILER:

A carrot

What's the difference between a well dressed man and a dog?

SPOILER:

The well dressed man wears a 3-piece suit. The dog, just pants.

Seriously, I could go on and on - but NOBODY wants THAT! 11

[digs]

Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt

I just posted this not ten minutes ago; does it count?

It was certainly a Dad-worthy bad pun, but it counts even more because it was unsolicited in an unrelated conversation. As we annoying dads tend to roll... 12

[swampspruce]

A monarch stands before a dining table with three cups on it, two full and one empty. What's his name?

SPOILER:

Philip III

13

[WOOKINPANUB]

Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger is making a movie about classical music?

Hell be Bach.

Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me:

Me to him: Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Him to me: You're funny but looks aren't everything.

Good times. 14

[Chefguy]

Originally Posted by WOOKINPANUB

Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger is making a movie about classical music?

Hell be Bach.

Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me:

Me to him: Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Him to me: You're funny but looks aren't everything.

Good times.

You have a good point. If you wear a hat, nobody will see it. 15

[icantdraw]

Dad - Do you serve oysters here?
Server - No.
Dad - Shucks. 16

[WOOKINPANUB]

Originally Posted by Chefguy

You have a good point. If you wear a hat, nobody will see it.

He would have enjoyed that 17