#1  
Old 12-04-2019, 07:13 PM
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Dad Jokes


Why do squids have ten tentacles?

SPOILER:
Because if they had eleven, they'd be eleventacles.


Any other dads on the Dope? Got a Dad joke?

Last edited by kaylasdad99; 12-04-2019 at 07:15 PM.
  #2  
Old 12-04-2019, 07:28 PM
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Whats green all over and wears a cape?

SPOILER:
Super Cucumber
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  #3  
Old 12-04-2019, 08:44 PM
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Why are they called “Dad jokes”?

SPOILER:
Because they’re readily apparent.
  #4  
Old 12-04-2019, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Moving Vehicle View Post
Why are they called “Dad jokes”?

SPOILER:
Because they’re readily apparent.
I heard it as:
What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

It’s usually apparent!
  #5  
Old 12-04-2019, 09:45 PM
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I just posted this not ten minutes ago; does it count?
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Old 12-04-2019, 09:51 PM
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"Knock, knock"

"Who's there?"

"Two"

"Two who?"

No, no, it's to whom."
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Old 12-04-2019, 09:53 PM
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"Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"

"No"

"I thought it was you!"
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Last edited by Alpha Twit; 12-04-2019 at 09:53 PM.
  #8  
Old 12-04-2019, 10:53 PM
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If I make a Dad joke in this thread would that be a

SPOILER:
faux pa?
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  #9  
Old 12-04-2019, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USCDiver View Post
I heard it as:
What’s the difference between a bad joke and a dad joke?

It’s usually apparent!
Your version's better.
  #10  
Old 12-05-2019, 03:11 AM
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For me it was Grandpa.

"Calm down! Don't let your shirt run up and down your back like a window-shade!"

Now that I'm a grandpa, I scare the grandkids with my gnarly, fungal toes.

But I was never into Dad jokes. Does that make me a bad father?
  #11  
Old 12-05-2019, 08:13 AM
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I got a ton of them. Of course, I favored them when I was a kid - not sure when they became "Dad" jokes.
A couple of my faves are:

What's brown and sticky?
SPOILER:
A stick


What's brown and sounds like a bell?
SPOILER:
Dung! (said like a bell ringing)


What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
SPOILER:
A carrot


What's the difference between a well dressed man and a dog?
SPOILER:
The well dressed man wears a 3-piece suit. The dog, just pants.


Seriously, I could go on and on - but NOBODY wants THAT!
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Old 12-05-2019, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
I just posted this not ten minutes ago; does it count?
It was certainly a Dad-worthy bad pun, but it counts even more because it was unsolicited in an unrelated conversation. As we annoying dads tend to roll...
  #13  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:10 AM
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A monarch stands before a dining table with three cups on it, two full and one empty. What's his name?

SPOILER:
Philip III
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  #14  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:36 AM
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Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger is making a movie about classical music?

Hell be Bach.

Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me:

Me to him: Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Him to me: You're funny but looks aren't everything.

Good times.
  #15  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WOOKINPANUB View Post
Did you hear Arnold Schwarzenegger is making a movie about classical music?

Hell be Bach.

Not a joke, per se, but a favorite exchange between my dad and me:

Me to him: Does your face hurt? It's killing me!

Him to me: You're funny but looks aren't everything.

Good times.
You have a good point. If you wear a hat, nobody will see it.
  #16  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:52 AM
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Dad - Do you serve oysters here?
Server - No.
Dad - Shucks.
  #17  
Old 12-05-2019, 12:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy View Post
You have a good point. If you wear a hat, nobody will see it.
He would have enjoyed that
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