Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 12-03-2019, 04:24 PM
Helena330's Avatar
Helena330 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Near Seattle, WA, USA
Posts: 3,879
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brayne Ded View Post
I think Sterling Archer is right. The OP says he wants no drama right now. In that case, clarify the situation with said young lady and concentrate on ending one relationship before even thinking of starting another. Unless you have an amazingly high tolerance for emotional pain and stress. Leave the drama to the thespians.
I completely agree with this. I've experienced and seen a lot of men treat women pretty badly during and immediately after a divorce. I don't think it was intentional, more like a kid-in-a-candy-store syndrome. It sounds like this woman has already had a recent painful experience. Making things worse is that it's in your workplace. What if things got out-of-hand and all of a sudden your job is at risk? HR isn't going to side with you if she gets pissed off.

Dial it back and leave her alone.
  #52  
Old 12-05-2019, 03:28 PM
ratatoskK is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Beyond the Pale
Posts: 4,165
I think she likes you, bu when you took her up on it, she chickened out. Or else she has some kind of weird living situation or mental problem.
__________________
"POE -- OPE -- What does it all mean?" -- Dr. Strangelove
  #53  
Old 12-05-2019, 09:25 PM
Saint Cad is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: N of Denver & S of Sanity
Posts: 13,668
I have a bad feeling the OP will have his direct "Would you like to go out with me Saturday?" answered with the indirect "I can't that night." Took me many years to realize that that doesn't mean "Ask me out for another night." but rather "No"
  #54  
Old 12-05-2019, 10:16 PM
River Hippie's Avatar
River Hippie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: N.E. Indiana, USA
Posts: 5,560
Move on, Dude.
  #55  
Old 12-05-2019, 11:12 PM
puzzlegal's Avatar
puzzlegal is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 5,022
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saint Cad View Post
I have a bad feeling the OP will have his direct "Would you like to go out with me Saturday?" answered with the indirect "I can't that night." Took me many years to realize that that doesn't mean "Ask me out for another night." but rather "No"
If someone asks me out for some night I can't make, and I really WANT to go out with them, I counter with another night in the same conversation where I turn down that night.

Just saying.
  #56  
Old Yesterday, 10:23 AM
StarvingButStrong's Avatar
StarvingButStrong is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 5,821
Yup. Or I'll suggest some other activity if the original proposal doesn't work or appeal for whatever reason OTHER than 'I don't want to spend time with you.'

It's like trying to start any conversation: if the other party makes just the minimum response, they're not interested in talking to you and you should leave them alone. If they add on 'extra' info, they're willing to talk.

It's the difference between:

"Is this the line for the bagpipe concert tickets?" "Yes."

and

"Is this the line for the bagpipe concert tickets?" "Yes. I can't wait to finally see the Podunkville Pipers in person."
  #57  
Old Yesterday, 10:59 AM
MichaelEmouse's Avatar
MichaelEmouse is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 7,390
If she doesn't want to discuss her relationship status, that's a huge red flag.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena330 View Post
I've experienced and seen a lot of men treat women pretty badly during and immediately after a divorce.
In what ways?

Last edited by MichaelEmouse; Yesterday at 11:01 AM.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:04 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017