Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:51 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134

Group therapy is a good idea in theory, not so much in practice


Over the years I've tried various forms of group therapy for things like mental health issues, being the family member of a dysfunctional family, al-anon, grief groups, etc.

On TV group therapy groups are presented as these healing groups run by a compassionate, intelligent, socially aware person who wants to help everyone share their story so we can all bond and grow.

In real life they are usually run by dysfunctional, self centered people who view a group as a way to monologue about themselves to a captive audience. Usually its run by people who are just as fucked up if not more fucked up than the other people in the meeting. People who have no sense of social awareness, who obsess over rules like an autistic person on adderall (yet who don't seem to grasp that those rules actually say things like stay on topic, don't dominate the conversation, etc. They just like to read line by line and then do the opposite of what the rules actually said to do) or who view a group as an opportunity to talk about themselves or lecture on unimportant platitudes or stupid tangents. Thats assuming the group leader even shows up, I've tried to join groups only to find the leader never showed up so we all had to go home.

Last night I went to one for people from dysfunctional families. Whenever one of the women in the group would try to talk about her problems, the leader would interrupt her to talk about something stupid and unrelated (floor tiles, her neighbors pool, idiotic stuff).

I went to one group, the leader spent a good chunk of time talking about an amish B&B that he said served excellent biscuits. How the fuck does that relate to mental health which was the purpose of that group?

I have been to various groups over the years (probably over a dozen), some I stayed with because they were good, but I have only known 2 groups that were any good. One was run by a volunteer, and the one was professional. The professional one was nice because we had to pay to go, and it was run by a trained psychologist who actually wanted to help people get better, not just force people to listen to him talk about his neighbors pool, or talk about himself for an hour. I'd be open to paying to join a group therapy group as long as it is run by a competent professional and not a screw up looking for a group of hostages to listen to them blabber on about irrelevant shit.

One of the best groups I ever did was one where we all wrote down our stories, and shared them. Why can't more groups be like that? Why do they have to be run by dysfunctional, selfish people who view it as a chance to monologue to people who don't give a fuck about their pointless stories. How hard is it for a group of traumatized, sad people to get together and share their stories?

For anyone who says 'why don't you start one', because I don't want to.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

Last edited by Wesley Clark; 08-13-2019 at 08:55 PM.
  #2  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:54 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,655
What's the point of a group of traumatized, sad people to get together and share their stories? What do you hope to get out of that?
  #3  
Old 08-13-2019, 08:56 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
You feel less isolated and overwhelmed. And maybe other people have useful advice.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

Last edited by Wesley Clark; 08-13-2019 at 08:56 PM.
  #4  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:05 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
You feel less isolated and overwhelmed. And maybe other people have useful advice.
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
  #5  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:08 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
Humans are social creatures. When you feel other people have heard and empathize with your story, you feel less alone and overwhelmed. People have an innate need to be seen, heard and understood in a safe environment with people who wish them well. Also (if done properly) people can share ideas and brainstorm about what has helped them when they had the same problem.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion

Last edited by Wesley Clark; 08-13-2019 at 09:09 PM.
  #6  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:15 PM
nearwildheaven is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 12,828
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
AKA support groups? They're not for everybody, but the right one for the right person can be very healing. I was given information about them when I got my cancer diagnosis, and while I had no desire to pursue this, somebody else might.

Conversely, I know a woman who was kicked out of a battered women's support group because her presence was too upsetting to the other clients. This woman has been fired from multiple jobs over the years, asked to leave churches, kicked out of other social groups, etc. because she doesn't want to talk about anything else.

She left her husband in
SPOILER:
1972
I'd say that someone like that is a hopeless case.

Last edited by nearwildheaven; 08-13-2019 at 09:16 PM.
  #7  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:20 PM
AHunter3's Avatar
AHunter3 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: NY (Manhattan) NY USA
Posts: 20,449
By far the most useful form of group therapy is 100% user-run self-help support groups. You'd be amazed what happens when you ditch the professionals and it's "just us" in here.
  #8  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:37 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
Humans are social creatures. When you feel other people have heard and empathize with your story, you feel less alone and overwhelmed. People have an innate need to be seen, heard and understood in a safe environment with people who wish them well. Also (if done properly) people can share ideas and brainstorm about what has helped them when they had the same problem.
Fair enough. But there are billions of people on this planet. Does a person think that no one is in the same situation as them? Do people think that a few people in a group can offer helpful ideas that cannot be found online?
  #9  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:41 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by AHunter3 View Post
By far the most useful form of group therapy is 100% user-run self-help support groups. You'd be amazed what happens when you ditch the professionals and it's "just us" in here.
Yeah, thats what I mean. I think users just talking to each other is better than groups run by volunteer 'professionals' who are dysfunctional, selfish and looking for a captive audience to listen to their pointless monologues.

Do you know how tofind user run groups as opposed to the professional ones?

I did have a good experience with a professional run one, but that was run at college by a trained professional. Most of my other experiences have been bad (the other good one was a user run mental health group but it went to shit when the leader retired and someone else took over and used it to go into pointless monologues).
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #10  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:42 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
Fair enough. But there are billions of people on this planet. Does a person think that no one is in the same situation as them? Do people think that a few people in a group can offer helpful ideas that cannot be found online?
It might be different for me. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me, and I donít know why
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #11  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:46 PM
manson1972's Avatar
manson1972 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 11,655
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
It might be different for me. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me, and I donít know why
If that's the case, then seeing a professional seems like a better way ahead than random people in a group in the basement of a church.

Also, to be honest, your post seems like an exaggeration. You don't find anyone or anything beautiful? You don't find anything amusing? You don't get sad when watching a sad movie? Just nothing at all?
  #12  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:50 PM
Velocity is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 14,862
When you're in group therapy, something akin to Winston Churchill's "Sum of All Fears" quote applies: "You take the most gallant sailor, most intrepid airman and most audacious soldier and put them at a table together, and what do you get? The sum of their fears."


Similar with the group, you could have (in theory) everyone's compassion, understanding, wisdom, experience and knowledge all in one room to help everyone - but sadly what often happens is you get the sum of everyone's narcissism, OCD, bipolar-ness, anxiety, judgmentalism or manipulation instead.
  #13  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:52 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
I You don't find anything amusing?
I like Huey Lewis and the news. Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #14  
Old 08-13-2019, 09:56 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
I like Huey Lewis and the news. Their early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when Sports came out in '83, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole album has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the songs a big boost. He's been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think Huey has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.
Do you have to return some video tapes?
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #15  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:06 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 12,493
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
It might be different for me. I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me, and I donít know why
If you are serious, you talk to a professional. This sounds like serious depression.

Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
What's the point of a group of traumatized, sad people to get together and share their stories? What do you hope to get out of that?
I would love to have a group of people who had shared experiences with me in terms of things like disability or autism. It wouldn't even have to be a group, meeting for coffee would be great. There are a number of things that would be nice to discuss with someone who actually has a comparable type of life experience. It can be very isolating to have something huge in your life that no one else around you understands.
  #16  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:09 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny Daze View Post
If you are serious, you talk to a professional. This sounds like serious depression...
Not sure if he is serious or not, but he is definitely quoting American Psycho.
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #17  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:15 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,849
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
Not sure if he is serious or not, but he is definitely quoting American Psycho.
Missed edit window.

And I was happy to read it!
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #18  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:24 PM
Sunny Daze's Avatar
Sunny Daze is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Bay Area Urban Sprawl
Posts: 12,493
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
Not sure if he is serious or not, but he is definitely quoting American Psycho.
  #19  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:27 PM
octopus's Avatar
octopus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 8,588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
Over the years I've tried various forms of group therapy for things like mental health issues, being the family member of a dysfunctional family, al-anon, grief groups, etc.

On TV group therapy groups are presented as these healing groups run by a compassionate, intelligent, socially aware person who wants to help everyone share their story so we can all bond and grow.

In real life they are usually run by dysfunctional, self centered people who view a group as a way to monologue about themselves to a captive audience. Usually its run by people who are just as fucked up if not more fucked up than the other people in the meeting. People who have no sense of social awareness, who obsess over rules like an autistic person on adderall (yet who don't seem to grasp that those rules actually say things like stay on topic, don't dominate the conversation, etc. They just like to read line by line and then do the opposite of what the rules actually said to do) or who view a group as an opportunity to talk about themselves or lecture on unimportant platitudes or stupid tangents. Thats assuming the group leader even shows up, I've tried to join groups only to find the leader never showed up so we all had to go home.

Last night I went to one for people from dysfunctional families. Whenever one of the women in the group would try to talk about her problems, the leader would interrupt her to talk about something stupid and unrelated (floor tiles, her neighbors pool, idiotic stuff).

I went to one group, the leader spent a good chunk of time talking about an amish B&B that he said served excellent biscuits. How the fuck does that relate to mental health which was the purpose of that group?

I have been to various groups over the years (probably over a dozen), some I stayed with because they were good, but I have only known 2 groups that were any good. One was run by a volunteer, and the one was professional. The professional one was nice because we had to pay to go, and it was run by a trained psychologist who actually wanted to help people get better, not just force people to listen to him talk about his neighbors pool, or talk about himself for an hour. I'd be open to paying to join a group therapy group as long as it is run by a competent professional and not a screw up looking for a group of hostages to listen to them blabber on about irrelevant shit.

One of the best groups I ever did was one where we all wrote down our stories, and shared them. Why can't more groups be like that? Why do they have to be run by dysfunctional, selfish people who view it as a chance to monologue to people who don't give a fuck about their pointless stories. How hard is it for a group of traumatized, sad people to get together and share their stories?

For anyone who says 'why don't you start one', because I don't want to.
Sounds like a real life message board. Hmmm. Perhaps, a group therapy thread or sub forum might be fun here. Iíd recommend not the Pit though.
  #20  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:43 PM
Wesley Clark is offline
2018 Midterm Prediction Winner
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 22,134
Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
Not sure if he is serious or not, but he is definitely quoting American Psycho.
No I'm not serious. That's just a very quotable film.
__________________
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to sparkle motion
  #21  
Old 08-13-2019, 10:59 PM
snfaulkner's Avatar
snfaulkner is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 7,849
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post
No I'm not serious. That's just a very quotable film.
I agree. And it really freaks people out who don't know the movie. Which is a major positive, for me at least. High five!
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #22  
Old 08-13-2019, 11:13 PM
Guest-starring: Id!'s Avatar
Guest-starring: Id! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 4,075
Always wanted to shindig with Jack Riley.
  #23  
Old 08-14-2019, 12:09 AM
Nava is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Hey! I'm located! WOOOOW!
Posts: 42,197
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
Fair enough. But there are billions of people on this planet. Does a person think that no one is in the same situation as them?
Yes. One of the most important tools in an abuser's box is convincing their targets that it's all your fault, that you're broken, that you're the one causing everything, that nobody will ever understand you because you're an incomprehensible alien. The fact that abusers tend to have good relationships with people in positions of authority tends to reinforce the message and therefore the isolation: you try to ask for help, and the person you're trying to ask tells you that it's all your fault or that you're imagining things, or exaggerating. Gaslighting isn't done by a single person, it's a team effort where most of the people involved don't even realize what they're doing.

The first time that someone doesn't respond to your attempts to ask for help by telling you something along the lines of "but how can you complain, when you have such a wonderful mother!" or "well, you must have done something to deserve the beating" it's as if the sky opened and a whole battallion of raphaelite cherubs came down playing Haendel's Hallellujah.
__________________
Evidence gathered through the use of science is easily dismissed through the use of idiocy. - Czarcasm.
  #24  
Old 08-14-2019, 12:13 AM
pool is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Inside
Posts: 4,464
I feel like most of my therapy comes from drunk old guys at bars, sometimes there is some real wisdom.
__________________
"You can do anything you set your mind to...But money helps"
  #25  
Old 08-14-2019, 12:36 AM
China Guy is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 11,636
Depends in part on the group. Have to find where it is a decent fit. My daughter went to a teen group of anxiety in a children's hospital. he kids were split into pre teens and teens. My daughter still has a buddy a year later that goes to a different school but they do stuff together a couple times a month and occaisionally a sleepover.

It was great for her (but not easy and they did some hard exposures during therapy). Unbeknownst to me, parents also did therapy at the same time. While most of the issues were individual, it was a good group of parents, some good sharing, and the moderator (a medical doctor and psychiatry PhD) did a really awesome job of a) giving all of us an understanding of how anxiety works and the theory for overcoming, and b) gave a couple minutes of individual guidance every session. It was awesome for the 8 weeks we did it.
  #26  
Old 08-14-2019, 09:44 AM
AHunter3's Avatar
AHunter3 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: NY (Manhattan) NY USA
Posts: 20,449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wesley Clark View Post

Do you know how tofind user run groups as opposed to the professional ones?
I would go onto Facebook, request to join some of the groups that are devoted to psychiatric-inmate liberation and activism, and then within that ask for info on user-run self-help.

Rolling our own is sort of considered to be part of the general rights-activism movement.
  #27  
Old 08-14-2019, 10:09 AM
Broomstick's Avatar
Broomstick is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 28,706
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
I go to a group for widows.

Definitely, we all share sadness and grief and problems.

But the women who have been widowed longest have some relevant advice for dealing with settling an estate, going to banks and financial institutions to convert accounts to just the survivors' names, or dealing with legal issues. We lend to support to each other on "anniversary dates" - our actual wedding anniversaries, the anniversary of deaths or discovering terminal illnesses of the birthdays of the deceased and such. We talk about how to cope with feelings of sadness and grief, how to deal with them in a manner that allows us to function and take care of ourselves, or when to seek additional professional help when they start to interfere with doing that. So in between commiserating on our similar misfortune there's actually a lot of practical advice mixed in.

But not everyone find use in such a group, and certainly not all groups are created equal. Very much a your mileage may vary situation.
  #28  
Old 08-14-2019, 08:36 PM
digs's Avatar
digs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: West of Wauwatosa
Posts: 9,788
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
What's the point of a group of traumatized, sad people to get together and share their stories? What do you hope to get out of that?
Are you kidding? That's every night at the bar, every breakfast with a friend, the book group at church, every marriage I've seen (well, okay, just the good ones...), and most every class* I've taught.

We're all sad. We're all traumatized. But only some of us admit it, and try to understand it.


*Seriously, last Monday's class started with the oldest guy saying:
"Okay, to understand my weekend, anyone have any questions about drugs?"
Youngest girl: "Yeah, which ones have you taken?"
"Oh, sweetheart, ALL of them... not proud of the meth, but still doin' weed, cocaine... and a lot of 'shrooms. Now, want to know why...?"

Last edited by digs; 08-14-2019 at 08:39 PM.
  #29  
Old 08-14-2019, 08:59 PM
monstro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 20,631
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
Since we're in the Pit, I'm going to say something to you I've been wanting to say for awhile. You are either an giant idiot or a major asshole. This is not the first time you've claimed not to get something any toddler can grasp, and then when someone explains it to you, you come back with more stupid questions.

Why the hell would someone talk to people who have the same problems as them, if doing so didn't help them feel better? Do you think people go to support groups to willingly torture themselves? Are you aware that not understanding something like this indicates you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber? Does this bother you any?

Almost every single post of yours stinks of derpiness. It's been a shtick of yours for awhile. I don't know why you think it's cute, but it isn't. It's repugnant.
  #30  
Old 08-15-2019, 03:45 AM
Bouncer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA for now
Posts: 523
Quote:
Originally Posted by manson1972 View Post
So you feel better because you hear other people have the same problems as you? Not criticizing, just asking because I don't get it.
It can help to realize you're not alone in the lifeboat, that others have the same issues. There is a strength in not being the lone survivor. To know that others have come through the same fire and are still around. That you can too, because they did.

It can help to be able to relate your sory to people who have been through similar situations, so they know, internally, what you are dealing with. You don't have to justify or explain background, because they already get it in a visceral way.

Finally, it can help to verbalize your story to others, because saying it out loud does two things. It makes it "real", not just in your head, and it lifts the burden of having to carry it alone form your shoulders. They are now sharing your story, and so again, it's not just you alone.

Group therapy can be extremely useful provided it is well run, and confidentiality/anonymity is maintained. But you also need to be there for the right reasons. Not simply to hear yourself monolog, but to listen to others and share only when you have something directly relevant. You are there first to provide support, and second to get support fr yourself when needed. That's why the group moderator needs to be gentle but firm keeping the group focused and on track, and be willing to interrupt (in a kind manner) when necessary.

Regards,
-Bouncer-
__________________
carpe cookius
  #31  
Old 08-15-2019, 04:09 AM
Monty's Avatar
Monty is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Feb 1999
Location: Beijing, China
Posts: 23,109
nm

Last edited by Monty; 08-15-2019 at 04:11 AM.
  #32  
Old 08-15-2019, 04:48 AM
Fake Tales of San Francisco is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 867
Quote:
Originally Posted by monstro View Post
Since we're in the Pit, I'm going to say something to you I've been wanting to say for awhile. You are either an giant idiot or a major asshole. This is not the first time you've claimed not to get something any toddler can grasp, and then when someone explains it to you, you come back with more stupid questions.

Why the hell would someone talk to people who have the same problems as them, if doing so didn't help them feel better? Do you think people go to support groups to willingly torture themselves? Are you aware that not understanding something like this indicates you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber? Does this bother you any?

Almost every single post of yours stinks of derpiness. It's been a shtick of yours for awhile. I don't know why you think it's cute, but it isn't. It's repugnant.
Thank you for saying this. I thought it was just me for the longest time.

The thought process kind of jumps from (feigned?) ignorance to questioning the intelligence of broken/damaged people (but there's billions of people, of course you're not alone! Have you tried... the internet???).
  #33  
Old 08-15-2019, 01:46 PM
Living Well Is Best Revenge is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 3,430
Quote:
Originally Posted by monstro View Post
Since we're in the Pit, I'm going to say something to you I've been wanting to say for awhile. You are either an giant idiot or a major asshole. This is not the first time you've claimed not to get something any toddler can grasp, and then when someone explains it to you, you come back with more stupid questions.

Why the hell would someone talk to people who have the same problems as them, if doing so didn't help them feel better? Do you think people go to support groups to willingly torture themselves? Are you aware that not understanding something like this indicates you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber? Does this bother you any?

Almost every single post of yours stinks of derpiness. It's been a shtick of yours for awhile. I don't know why you think it's cute, but it isn't. It's repugnant.
Totally agree and I've pointed this out before actually. He is either one of the stupidest people on the planet or a total asshole. Either way, not good.
  #34  
Old 08-15-2019, 02:34 PM
digs's Avatar
digs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: West of Wauwatosa
Posts: 9,788
Quote:
Originally Posted by Living Well Is Best Revenge View Post
Totally agree and I've pointed this out before actually. He is either one of the stupidest people on the planet or a total asshole. Either way, not good.
Look, I'm honestly asking, what exactly is this asshole you speak of? From your context, it sounds like a not good thing, but in real life it is. Am I missing something? Some colloquial subtext, no doubt. I'm going to keep on posting anyhow, so feel free to enlighten me any time.
  #35  
Old 08-15-2019, 02:40 PM
Broomstick's Avatar
Broomstick is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 28,706
Quote:
Originally Posted by Living Well Is Best Revenge View Post
He is either one of the stupidest people on the planet or a total asshole.
Actually, those two states of being are not in any way mutually exclusive. He could always be both.
  #36  
Old 08-15-2019, 03:23 PM
Rilchiam is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Posts: 16,116
Quote:
Originally Posted by digs View Post
Look, I'm honestly asking, what exactly is this asshole you speak of? From your context, it sounds like a not good thing, but in real life it is. Am I missing something? Some colloquial subtext, no doubt. I'm going to keep on posting anyhow, so feel free to enlighten me any time.
:::applause:::

I was in a therapy group in college. Briefly. It started out with a general agenda of "women's issues", but it quickly developed into "women who have been molested, raped, or otherwise sexually victimized". Yes, those are serious issues, but I left after hearing "You don't know what it's like," one too many times. (Not aimed solely at me.) Two other young women left shortly after I did, for pretty much the same reason; we wanted to form another group but couldn't find anyone to moderate.
  #37  
Old 08-16-2019, 09:30 PM
lorene is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Boston
Posts: 5,002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny Daze View Post
I would love to have a group of people who had shared experiences with me in terms of things like disability or autism. It wouldn't even have to be a group, meeting for coffee would be great. There are a number of things that would be nice to discuss with someone who actually has a comparable type of life experience. It can be very isolating to have something huge in your life that no one else around you understands.
When my oldest child came out as transgender, I immediately found people (both online and in real life) who are also parents, guardians or caregivers of transgender kids.

Like broomstick said about the group for widows, some of it is practical (what's the process for a name change, where are the good doctors, etc) and some of it is just connecting with people who get it. Could I get all the same information from the internet? Sure, but I don't want to. I want to talk to real people, in real life, and not hide away in my room like this is something not to speak of in public.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:47 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2018 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017