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  #1  
Old 11-29-2017, 04:00 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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Get the point with knife puns?

I think I may have the edge.
  #2  
Old 11-29-2017, 07:59 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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You were fed Gerbers as a kid, weren't you?
  #3  
Old 11-29-2017, 08:16 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Interesting how a person named Spoons is doing knife puns...

I mean, you probably think you're a cut above but really you're not so sharp.
  #4  
Old 11-29-2017, 08:24 AM
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*Pommels IG*
  #5  
Old 11-29-2017, 08:59 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Are you a straight razor or a gay blade?
  #6  
Old 11-29-2017, 09:03 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Cut it out!
  #7  
Old 11-29-2017, 09:19 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Cut it out!
Don't Buck the trend!
  #8  
Old 11-29-2017, 09:39 AM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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Hone, hone on the range.
  #9  
Old 11-29-2017, 09:47 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Take this job and shiv it.
Take my knife... please!
  #10  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:05 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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You guys all think you're so cleaver.
  #11  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:07 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Christmas ninjas put the kris in Kringle.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 11-29-2017 at 10:08 AM.
  #12  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:09 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Sharp Dressed Man-ZZ Top
  #13  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:27 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Prof. Pepperwinkle and running coach have turned out to be quite a paring in this thread.
  #14  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:32 AM
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Are you a straight razor or a gay blade?
Doesn't the swishblade give it away?
  #15  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:36 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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You guys need to get a handle on yourselves.
  #16  
Old 11-29-2017, 10:38 AM
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You guys need to get a handle on yourselves.
We need to be bolstered?
  #17  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:36 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Could you not spit so much when you talk? I'm getting all whet.
  #18  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:46 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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Who is a better quarterback, Jay Cutlery or Blade Gabbert?
  #19  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:49 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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How 'bout the old David Bowie song, "Whistle While You Dirk"?
  #20  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:54 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Could you not spit so much when you talk? I'm getting all whet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intergalactic Gladiator View Post
Who is a better quarterback, Jay Cutlery or Blade Gabbert?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
How 'bout the old David Bowie song, "Whistle While You Dirk"?
To be blunt, you guys are just begging to be incarserrated.
  #21  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:58 AM
harmonicamoon harmonicamoon is online now
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"Every knife must get stoned."
  #22  
Old 11-29-2017, 12:33 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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I was watching a documentary about Johnny Carson last night and was wondering who the current host of The Tonight Show was. Is it stiletto? You know, Jay Letto?
  #23  
Old 11-29-2017, 12:41 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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The sworded truth is I am the Punmaster. You guys are a bunch of hacks.
  #24  
Old 11-29-2017, 01:42 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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She got the goldmine; I got the haft.
  #25  
Old 11-29-2017, 01:43 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is online now
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^that's a cut above (me)
  #26  
Old 11-29-2017, 01:51 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Originally Posted by running coach View Post
The sworded truth is I am the Punmaster. You guys are a bunch of hacks.
(Looking daggers at rc) Oh, cutting remarks, eh? Hey, I'm the Punslinger and you've just brought a knife to a gunfight. We'll duel this out to the hilt!

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 11-29-2017 at 01:52 PM.
  #27  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:02 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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(Looking daggers at rc) Oh, cutting remarks, eh? Hey, I'm the Punslinger and you've just brought a knife to a gunfight. We'll duel this out to the hilt!
*feels stabbing pain in foot*
I've survived paper cuts worse than that!
But shanks for the challenge.
Life is better with a little tang to spice up the day.
Haft effort is better than none.
  #28  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:08 PM
Sternvogel Sternvogel is offline
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This is X-ACTO the kind of thread I was looking for.
  #29  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:12 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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These puns are getting rather dull.
  #30  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
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These puns are getting rather dull.
Steel yourself, that makes me feel rather stroppy.

Last edited by running coach; 11-29-2017 at 02:19 PM.
  #31  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:24 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Soon your scalpel itch, you'll go ballistic, you'll remember the days of Kukri, Fran & Ollie, next you'll be boning up, looking for that Swiss Army Colony Beef Log at the utility company, and all for what? A little seax?
  #32  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
Soon your scalpel itch, you'll go ballistic, you'll remember the days of Kukri, Fran & Ollie, next you'll be boning up, looking for that Swiss Army Colony Beef Log at the utility company, and all for what? A little seax?
Now you're fighting dirky.
  #33  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:33 PM
Beckdawrek Beckdawrek is online now
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A cutting remark? Eh?
  #34  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:51 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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Originally Posted by Prof. Pepperwinkle View Post
Soon your scalpel itch, you'll go ballistic, you'll remember the days of Kukri, Fran & Ollie, next you'll be boning up, looking for that Swiss Army Colony Beef Log at the utility company, and all for what? A little seax?
::Looks daggers at the Prof.::
  #35  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:56 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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*Activates adze-blocker*
  #36  
Old 11-29-2017, 04:03 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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If you ax me, this thread cuts deep. It slashes to the very heart of the issues, whatever they might be.
  #37  
Old 11-29-2017, 05:37 PM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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I'll sharpen my knife right after this grinder.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 11-29-2017 at 05:41 PM.
  #38  
Old 11-29-2017, 05:49 PM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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I hear David Duchovny's ready to take a stab at a slice of whatever version of The X-Filet that the producers carve out of the remains of the old series. Maybe they should get a new actor, though, and sever the old connection completely.
  #39  
Old 11-29-2017, 06:13 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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I hear David Duchovny's ready to take a stab at a slice of whatever version of The X-Filet that the producers carve out of the remains of the old series. Maybe they should get a new actor, though, and sever the old connection completely.
The X-Filets are over-serrated.
  #40  
Old 11-29-2017, 08:07 PM
blondebear blondebear is online now
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Getting through all of these puns has been a long SOG for me.
  #41  
Old 11-29-2017, 11:12 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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I usually shun knife threads, but there seem to be some nice parings in here and not a lot at steak.
  #42  
Old 11-30-2017, 01:40 AM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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I usually shun knife threads....
Interesting username/post combo, but I do remember you making a few cutting remarks in other threads.
  #43  
Old 11-30-2017, 07:18 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is online now
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Come at me with your rapier wit, but not if you've been drinking! The best puns are made if your saber.
  #44  
Old 11-30-2017, 08:28 AM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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I learned about knife fighting at my father's snee.
  #45  
Old 11-30-2017, 09:37 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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I'm having an allergic reaction; where's my épée pen?
  #46  
Old 11-30-2017, 09:42 AM
running coach running coach is online now
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I'm having an allergic reaction; where's my épée pen?
It's in your pocket, wrapped in foil.
  #47  
Old 11-30-2017, 09:47 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Touchy

Touché


Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 11-30-2017 at 09:47 AM.
  #48  
Old 11-30-2017, 09:56 AM
blondebear blondebear is online now
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nm

Last edited by blondebear; 11-30-2017 at 09:57 AM.
  #49  
Old 11-30-2017, 11:23 AM
Chefguy Chefguy is online now
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I tried to saber, but she stabbed me in the back.
  #50  
Old 11-30-2017, 11:49 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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All these puns are awfully scimitar.
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