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  #251  
Old 02-15-2017, 09:21 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Sheldon: I so loathe you.
Wil: That’s right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That’s not even from your franchise!
  #252  
Old 02-15-2017, 09:57 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Priya: Sheldon’s a bit quirky, isn’t he?
Howard: Oh please, that crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rearview mirror.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 02-15-2017 at 09:57 AM.
  #253  
Old 02-16-2017, 09:13 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Unless Leonard signs the new roommate agreement in the next... [checks timer] 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you're in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter.
  #254  
Old 02-16-2017, 07:25 PM
eschereal eschereal is offline
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There once was a brave lad named Leonard
With a fie-fie-fiddle-dee-dee
He fought a fearsome giant
While Raj just wanted to pee
  #255  
Old 02-16-2017, 08:26 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Why is it never Angie Dickinson's bedroom?
  #256  
Old 02-17-2017, 03:51 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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You may have gone to Cambridge, but I'm an honorary graduate of Star-Fleet Academy.
  #257  
Old 02-20-2017, 08:21 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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Amy did soften my life, she's like the dryer sheets to my heart

Leonard to Penny: Am I the dryer sheets to your heart?

Your the lint trap of my love
  #258  
Old 02-21-2017, 04:32 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Oh, word of advice, do not doze off, you'll never hear the end of it.
  #259  
Old 02-22-2017, 04:05 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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My Mother praying for forgiveness when she puts glass chips in my Father's meatloaf.
And my Father skeet shooting Mother's collectible plates
  #260  
Old 02-22-2017, 06:39 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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[Bernadette has just been yelling at Howard, just like his mother]

Howard: [to Leonard and Raj] Is it just me or does she sound sexy when she's angry?
  #261  
Old 02-22-2017, 03:58 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!
  #262  
Old 02-22-2017, 04:27 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooky View Post
My Mother praying for forgiveness when she puts glass chips in my Father's meatloaf.
And my Father skeet shooting Mother's collectible plates
I think the first part of that went something more like "My mother saying that Jesus would forgive her if she put ground glass in my father's meatloaf," and the second part specifically mentioned that they were Franklin Mint collectible plates.
  #263  
Old 02-22-2017, 04:52 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Sheldon: I must say, Amy, I was very impressed to see that Bernadette got her PhD.
Amy: It's indeed admirable. Although, it is microbiology.
Sheldon: Your doctorate is in neurobiology. I fail to see the distinction.
Amy: I'll make it simple for you. I study the brain, the organ responsible for Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Bernadette studies yeast, the organism responsible for Michelob Lite.
  #264  
Old 02-22-2017, 09:22 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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"Gotcher back, Jack: bitches be crazy."
  #265  
Old 02-23-2017, 12:03 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Geology isn't a real science!
  #266  
Old 02-25-2017, 11:37 PM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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I'm changing everything that depresses me, try not to be one of those things
  #267  
Old 02-25-2017, 11:51 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.
  #268  
Old 02-27-2017, 05:26 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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It's official I'm a H.O. Train~E~ak
  #269  
Old 02-27-2017, 05:35 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Amy: Kiss me where I've never been kissed before.
Sheldon: ... You mean like Salt Lake City?
  #270  
Old 02-27-2017, 05:58 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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"Hokie Pokie" is a young man's game
  #271  
Old 02-27-2017, 06:35 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Sheldon: The Koothrappalis aren't just rich. They are Richie Rich rich.
Penny: Well, so how much is that?
Sheldon: About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
  #272  
Old 03-01-2017, 07:50 PM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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In the morning I'll send him an E-Mail letting him know.... this body is never gonna be his wonderland
  #273  
Old 03-02-2017, 07:23 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel: turns out that if you kill a starfish, it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
  #274  
Old 03-02-2017, 10:05 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Flag! Flag! Not a flag! Flag!
  #275  
Old 03-03-2017, 01:15 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RivkahChaya View Post
Flag! Flag! Not a flag! Flag!
Or: "Fwag! Fwag! Not a fwag! Fwag!"


You know, for a smart guy, you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept "Don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat".
  #276  
Old 03-03-2017, 06:53 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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"Damn you Chaplain Horrigan! The Philippines, 1992. The Subic Bay Naval Station; a young boy on the cusp of manhood; his only companions mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving god, but who instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat! What choice did he have but to drink, shoot, and snort his pain away!"

"Don't forget his genetic predisposition toward addiction."
  #277  
Old 03-03-2017, 10:25 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Howard: How do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?
Sheldon: Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other.
  #278  
Old 03-04-2017, 05:37 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Pride & Prejudice is a flawless masterpiece. He's got too much pride, she's got too much prejudice-- it just works.
  #279  
Old 03-04-2017, 06:19 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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I have to feel sorry for myself, I'm the only one who cares
  #280  
Old 03-04-2017, 06:37 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Who's there?! Are you a sex criminal?!
  #281  
Old 03-04-2017, 07:05 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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Who would have thought, Fuzzy Finger's Fowler's best friend's with a bully!
  #282  
Old 03-04-2017, 07:10 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Mrs. Wolowitz: God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!
Howard: Nobody has a disease!
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope not! I share a toilet with you! Is that what you want!? To give your mother herpies!?
  #283  
Old 03-04-2017, 07:29 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Penny: I don't know what a "succubus" is, but it has "suck" in it, so it can't be good.
  #284  
Old 03-04-2017, 07:37 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage.
  #285  
Old 03-06-2017, 05:50 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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It's hard to say no to "YooHoo" the name literally beckons
  #286  
Old 03-06-2017, 10:02 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
Social protocol states: when a friend is upset, you offer them a hot beverage.
And when they're drunk what do you offer them?
Coffee.
And what do you offer it with?
(Sheldon assumes slightly creepy, maniacal grin)
  #287  
Old 03-06-2017, 10:38 PM
eschereal eschereal is offline
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I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
You went out and bought linen?
Don't be silly. I borrowed one of your pillowcases.
Borrowed? Borrowed?
  #288  
Old 03-06-2017, 11:25 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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On Thursdays, everybody comes over here and has pizza... or a reasonable facsimile prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi, but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan.
  #289  
Old 03-07-2017, 06:13 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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Wow 3 dates is Sex....who knew!
  #290  
Old 03-07-2017, 06:20 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Penny: I spent two years trying to get Leonard to even go to the beach in the first place. He was so phobic about stepping on medical waste I'd carry him to the water.
  #291  
Old 03-07-2017, 09:59 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Sheldon: Fine, what do you want me to do?
Leonard: Smile. (He does, exaggeratedly.)
Howard: Oh crap, that’s terrifying.
Leonard: We’re here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.
  #292  
Old 03-07-2017, 12:32 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse. In other news, I'm thinking of starting an herb garden. Mum's the word. Gotta go.
  #293  
Old 03-09-2017, 12:37 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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How old are they?
Oh 50-55
Great menopause, nature's birth-control
  #294  
Old 03-09-2017, 05:15 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Penny: Sheldon, have you ever kissed a girl?
Sheldon: Other than my mother, my sister and my mee-maw, no. But in the interest of full disclosure, I was once on a bus and had to give mouth-to-mouth to an elderly nun who passed out from heat exhaustion. Every year I get a Christmas card from her, signed with far too many X's and O's.
  #295  
Old 03-09-2017, 09:29 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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And I don't know what happened in that bathroom, but I am not cleaning it up.
  #296  
Old 03-09-2017, 10:19 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Sheldon: I am aware of the way humans usually reproduce, which is messy, unsanitary and, based on living next to you for three years, involves loud and unnecessary appeals to a deity.
Penny: Oh, God.
Sheldon: Yes, exactly.
  #297  
Old 03-09-2017, 11:10 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next...[checks timer] 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you're in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter.
  #298  
Old 03-10-2017, 02:34 AM
eschereal eschereal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
Who's there?! Are you a sex criminal?!
No one wants to do that to you, ma!
  #299  
Old 03-10-2017, 04:17 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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Sheldon: You've already signed something for me, Brent Spiner—your name on my list. From this moment on you are my mortal enemy!
Wil Wheaton: Don't worry, it doesn't take up a whole lotta your time.
  #300  
Old 03-11-2017, 10:26 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
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I must say ever since you've been having intercourse, your mind is loosing it's sharpened edge
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