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  #2201  
Old 04-04-2013, 02:15 AM
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He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!
  #2202  
Old 04-04-2013, 08:25 AM
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Perhaps he was dictating.
  #2203  
Old 04-04-2013, 10:14 AM
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I think you're an encyclopaedia salesman.
  #2204  
Old 04-04-2013, 11:33 AM
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First, you eat the banana!
  #2205  
Old 04-04-2013, 02:00 PM
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Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark.
  #2206  
Old 04-05-2013, 10:30 AM
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Englishmen, you're all so fucking pompous. None of you have got any balls.
  #2207  
Old 04-05-2013, 10:52 AM
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It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese...
  #2208  
Old 04-05-2013, 11:25 AM
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Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
  #2209  
Old 04-05-2013, 11:48 AM
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Yes, I have!
  #2210  
Old 04-09-2013, 02:26 PM
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And now, Radio Four will explode.
  #2211  
Old 04-09-2013, 02:42 PM
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One more peep out of you and I'll do you for heresy!
  #2212  
Old 04-09-2013, 03:16 PM
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We are from SS Mother Goose. We were twelve days out from Port of Spain, and one night I was doing my usual rounds, when I had occasion to pass the forward storage lockers...
  #2213  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:43 AM
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If it lays an egg, it'll fall down the back of the television.
  #2214  
Old 04-10-2013, 10:16 AM
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Good morning. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier recently, and so it takes me rather longer to get to work.
  #2215  
Old 04-10-2013, 12:04 PM
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The purpose of this year's expedition, is to see if we can find any trace of last year's expedition.

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Shodan
  #2216  
Old 04-10-2013, 12:37 PM
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No. 1. The Larch.
  #2217  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:24 PM
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What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
  #2218  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:29 PM
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Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
  #2219  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:31 PM
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That's the sort of blinkered, blind Philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from your sort.

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Shodan
  #2220  
Old 04-10-2013, 01:35 PM
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I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!
  #2221  
Old 04-10-2013, 03:39 PM
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Flying Thompson's Gazelle of the Yard!
  #2222  
Old 04-10-2013, 06:43 PM
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Hold it. Hold it. Look, loves ... can anyone not involved in this scene, please leave the set. Now! Come on please. Anyone not concerned in this scene, the canteen's open upstairs.Now come on please.Sorry loves. Sorry. We'll have to take it again, from the top. All fight. OK... Cue
  #2223  
Old 04-11-2013, 12:21 AM
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I want you all to call me... Loretta.
  #2224  
Old 04-11-2013, 02:11 AM
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What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
  #2225  
Old 04-11-2013, 07:07 AM
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Tonight is The Meaning of Life!
  #2226  
Old 04-11-2013, 08:03 AM
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I have to push the pram a lot.
  #2227  
Old 04-11-2013, 09:42 AM
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Ooh, you lucky bastard.
  #2228  
Old 04-11-2013, 10:05 AM
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Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more!
  #2229  
Old 04-11-2013, 10:30 AM
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The development of the industrial bourgeoisie.
  #2230  
Old 04-11-2013, 12:07 PM
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You wouldn't know the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum!
  #2231  
Old 04-11-2013, 12:22 PM
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I'd like to ask the panel what changes they would make, if they were Hitler.

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Shodan
  #2232  
Old 04-11-2013, 01:48 PM
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Randy little bugger - up and down like the Assyrian Empire.
  #2233  
Old 04-11-2013, 02:09 PM
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What... is the capital of Assyria?
  #2234  
Old 04-11-2013, 02:18 PM
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On my arrival in London, I discovered [the Piranha Brothers] had returned to Cardiff. I followed as Gloucester from King Lear. Acting on a hunch, I spent several months in Buenos Aires as Blind Pew, returning through the Panama Canal as Ratty in Toad of Toad Hall. Back in Cardiff, I relived my triumph as Sancho Panza in Man of La Mancha, which the Bristol Evening Post described as "a glittering performance of rare perception," although the Bath Chronicle was less than enthusiastic. In fact, it gave me a right panning.
  #2235  
Old 04-11-2013, 06:12 PM
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What's all this then?
  #2236  
Old 04-11-2013, 07:58 PM
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I will not buy this tobacconist's; it is scratched.
  #2237  
Old 04-12-2013, 02:27 AM
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There's nowt wrong wi' gala luncheons!
  #2238  
Old 04-12-2013, 06:58 AM
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And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.
  #2239  
Old 04-12-2013, 10:32 AM
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Look, I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
  #2240  
Old 04-12-2013, 11:32 AM
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Was he the tortured soul who poured out his immortal longings into dignified passages of stately music, or was he just an old poof who wrote tunes?

Regards,
Tschaikowsky

Last edited by Shodan; 04-12-2013 at 11:32 AM.
  #2241  
Old 04-12-2013, 02:09 PM
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Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?
  #2242  
Old 04-12-2013, 03:26 PM
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It was the salmon.

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Shodan
  #2243  
Old 04-12-2013, 10:32 PM
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You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like...

and then...

spank me.
  #2244  
Old 04-12-2013, 10:41 PM
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Are you a virgin?
  #2245  
Old 04-13-2013, 12:52 AM
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No, it's too perilous!
  #2246  
Old 04-13-2013, 05:03 AM
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And after the spanking, the oral sex.
  #2247  
Old 04-13-2013, 05:48 AM
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Some folks need to look up "non sequitur".
  #2248  
Old 04-13-2013, 09:15 AM
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No. 1. The Larch.
  #2249  
Old 04-13-2013, 11:11 AM
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This demonstrates the value of not being seen.

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Shodan
  #2250  
Old 04-15-2013, 08:15 AM
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Oh, good morning! Have you come to arrange a holiday or would you like a blowjob?
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