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  #4651  
Old 11-07-2015, 03:08 PM
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King of the who?
  #4652  
Old 11-07-2015, 04:36 PM
kopek is offline
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Oh, go on, just pretend for God's sake.
  #4653  
Old 11-07-2015, 08:11 PM
Elendil's Heir is online now
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They mean to win Wimbledon!
  #4654  
Old 11-08-2015, 12:40 PM
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With moist eyes, Erik leaves this happy land to return to the harsh uneconomic realities of life in the land of Ljosa waters. On his way Erik rested a while in the land of Bjornsstrand - the land of dark forces, where Gildor was King. These were the dukes of the land of Bjornsstrand. Proud warriors who bore on their chests the letters of their dread name,

M A L D E N
  #4655  
Old 11-10-2015, 07:08 PM
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Confused. To shake it out of its state of complacency. I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
  #4656  
Old 11-10-2015, 08:36 PM
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Sex, sex, sex. That's all they think about, huh? Well, how are you, then, officer?
  #4657  
Old 11-10-2015, 08:39 PM
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Wait for it....
  #4658  
Old 11-11-2015, 04:23 PM
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It's a fair cop.
  #4659  
Old 11-11-2015, 04:32 PM
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That's you, m'lud, not you, m'lud.
  #4660  
Old 11-12-2015, 09:29 PM
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Well now, uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the rabbit, taking the French by surprise -- not only by surprise, but totally unarmed! Uh, Launcelot, Galahad, and I. Uh, leap out of the rabbit, uh, and uh.... um... Look, if we built this large wooden badger...
  #4661  
Old 11-13-2015, 11:38 AM
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I can't tell the difference between Whizzo butter and this dead crab.
  #4662  
Old 11-13-2015, 12:11 PM
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How about a romantic ending?

Regards,
Shodan
  #4663  
Old 11-13-2015, 12:40 PM
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Ni!
  #4664  
Old 11-13-2015, 01:22 PM
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:: cowers ::
  #4665  
Old 11-15-2015, 05:47 PM
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Who, a year ago, had heard of Mr and Mrs Brian Norris of 37, Gledhill Gardens, Parsons Green? And yet their epic journey in EBW 343 has set them alongside Thor Heyerdahl and Sir Edmund Hillary. Starting only with a theory, Mr Norris set out to prove that the inhabitants of Hounslow could have been descendants of the people of Surbiton who had made the great trek north. No newcomer to this field, Mr Norris's 'A Short History of Motor Traffic Between Purley and Esher' had become a best-selling minor classic in the car-swapping belt. But why would the people of Surbiton go to Hounslow? Mr Norris had noticed three things: Firstly, the similarity of the houses. Secondly, the similarity of the costume between Hounslow and Surbiton, and thirdly, the similarity of speech.
  #4666  
Old 11-17-2015, 12:23 PM
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...we go onto the next part of our program. The Sonatino in E sharp by Antonio Vivaldi played by Pablo Casals. During his 400 foot plunge into a bucket of boiling fat.
  #4667  
Old 11-17-2015, 01:06 PM
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Yes, well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artist.
  #4668  
Old 11-17-2015, 07:56 PM
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Have you got anything without Spam in it?
  #4669  
Old 11-18-2015, 09:21 AM
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Number five. The naughty bits.
  #4670  
Old 11-18-2015, 10:18 AM
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One: people are not wearing enough hats.
  #4671  
Old 11-18-2015, 10:43 AM
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Rule 6: There is NO Rule 6.
  #4672  
Old 11-19-2015, 11:17 AM
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No. 1. The Larch. The... Larch.
  #4673  
Old 11-19-2015, 12:27 PM
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Three. Three. And we'd better not risk another frontal assault; that rabbit's dynamite.

Last edited by Knorf; 11-19-2015 at 12:27 PM.
  #4674  
Old 11-20-2015, 11:30 PM
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Number seven. Two inches to the right of a very naughty bit indeed.
  #4675  
Old 11-22-2015, 07:26 PM
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Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
  #4676  
Old 11-23-2015, 09:12 PM
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I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK,
I sleep all night and I work all day
  #4677  
Old 11-24-2015, 01:10 AM
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Very small rocks!
  #4678  
Old 11-24-2015, 10:16 AM
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I've had more gala lunches than you've had hot dinners, my lad, and don't you forget it!
  #4679  
Old 11-25-2015, 09:03 AM
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Michael Norman Randall, you have been found guilty of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster, Charles Patrick Trumpington, Marcel Agnes Bernstein, Lewis Anona Rudd, John Malcolm Kerr, Nigel Sinclair Robinson, Norman Arthur Potter, Felicity Jayne Stone, Jean-Paul Reynard, Rachel Shirley Donaldson, Stephen Jay Greenblatt, Karl-Heinz Mullet, Belinda Anne Ventham, Juan-Carlos Fernandez, Thor Olaf Stensgaard, Lord Kimberley of Pretoria, Lady Kimberley of Pretoria, The Right Honourable Nigel Warmsly Kimberley, Robert Henry Noonan and Felix James Bennett, on or about the morning of the 19th December 1972. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?
  #4680  
Old 11-25-2015, 10:15 AM
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Good evening and welcome, ladies and gentlemen. At this time we'd like to up the tempo a little, change the mood. We've got a number requested by Pip, Pauline, Nigel, Tarquin, and old Spotty - Tarquin's mother - a little number specially written for the pubescence of ex-King Zog of Albania, and it's entitled "Art Gallery." Hope you like it.
  #4681  
Old 11-26-2015, 06:36 PM
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You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank.
  #4682  
Old 11-27-2015, 12:22 AM
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Yeah, it's hidden in his trousers!
  #4683  
Old 11-28-2015, 04:43 PM
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Somebody. In this room. Must the murderer be. The murderer of the body is somebody in this room, which nobody must leave... leave the body in the room not to be left by anybody. Nobody leaves anybody or the body with somebody. Everybody who is anybody shall leave the body in the room body. Take the tablets Tiger. Anybody (as he searches for the tablets) with a body but not the body is nobody. Nobody leaves the body in the ... (he takes the tablet) Albody me introbody albodyduce.
  #4684  
Old 11-28-2015, 07:45 PM
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Luxury!
  #4685  
Old 12-01-2015, 09:45 AM
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"Ethel the Aardvark goes Quantity Surveying."
  #4686  
Old 12-01-2015, 06:03 PM
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Always look on the bright side of life.
  #4687  
Old 12-02-2015, 12:17 AM
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Still, there's one thing about being a hermit: at least you meet people.
  #4688  
Old 12-02-2015, 12:35 AM
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Nuuuuuuuuuu!
  #4689  
Old 12-02-2015, 07:55 AM
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And when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

Regards,
Shodan
  #4690  
Old 12-02-2015, 09:36 AM
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Listen. If you really wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans.
  #4691  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:47 AM
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A lot.
  #4692  
Old 12-02-2015, 10:50 PM
kopek is offline
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Well, don't think of them. Just count four in your head.
  #4693  
Old 12-03-2015, 09:08 AM
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And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.
  #4694  
Old 12-03-2015, 09:31 AM
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Yeah, I'll have six bottles of Château Latour Forty-five...
  #4695  
Old 12-04-2015, 04:21 PM
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Oh, intercourse the penguin.
  #4696  
Old 12-04-2015, 10:43 PM
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Venezuelan beaver cheese?
  #4697  
Old 12-05-2015, 12:20 AM
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I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...
  #4698  
Old 12-06-2015, 02:13 PM
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Dad... it's the man from 'The Hay Wain' by Constable to see you.
  #4699  
Old 12-06-2015, 02:43 PM
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Taking life as it comes, sharing the good things and the bad things, finding laughter and fun wherever they go - it is with these two happy-go-lucky rogues that our story begins. For it is they who were run over by Alex Diamond .... international crime fighter ... and playboy .... fast-moving ... tough-talking ... and just one of the many hundreds of famous people who suffer from lumbago, the epidemic disease about which no one knows more than this man ... Dr Emile Koning ... doctor ... surgeon ... proctologist ... and selfless fighter against human suffering, whose doorbell was the one above the hero of our story tonight Rear-Admiral Humphrey De Vere!
  #4700  
Old 12-06-2015, 02:50 PM
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Alms for an ex-leper!
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