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Old 07-11-2019, 09:18 PM
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Most bothersome bumper stickers/auto accessorizing you've seen


Bumper stickers:

I Might Be Slow But I'm Ahead of You
RELAX (gee that's not passive aggressive, like, at all! Probably more provocative, than anything, perhaps?)
Any variations of "Care - Child in Car" (does the driver think, what - "good, I shouldn't get rear-ended/tailgaited now." or "maybe they'll just drive more gingerly behind me now." Me - I'll just treat each driver on the road with the same amount of respect and caution as any other, thank-you very much, as all drivers should, obviously.)
Don't Like My Driving? Call 1-800-FUCK-OFF
The yellow and black diamond with the goat crapping off the cliff.
The fish

Accessories:

trailer hitch balls
spoilers
lights underneath (hopefully a dying fad?)
a-wooga horns
blacked-out windows
low riders
fog-light racks
anything printed out in old english lettering.
trucks outfitted with coal-rolling goodness. (mainly a southern thing?)
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:19 PM
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Hearing your music in my car
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:28 PM
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those inbreds with coal-rolling diesel trucks should all be castrated. Also, people who put improper lamps into their headlights (e.g. HID capsules or garbage LEDs into headlights designed for halogens) and blind the hell out of everyone facing them.



apart from that, stuff like bumper stickers, truck nutz, proselytizing, confederate flags, etc. doesn't "bother" me so much.
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:36 PM
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Car window memorials. I get it, you miss the person, but do you really want to look at that every time you get in a car?
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:43 PM
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Those "family decals" they put on rear windows, make me uneasy when they spell out the names and sexes of all the kids. Although, the T-Rex eating the stick figure family is pretty funny.
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Old 07-11-2019, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Although, the T-Rex eating the stick figure family is pretty funny.
Got that one. The truck officially died today, though, so - adieu.
Others I had on it:

I Have the Perfect Body, But It's in the Trunk and Starting to Stink
a picture of the Bible with the phrase underneath saying "Jesus Dies on Page 681".
Cleese/Palin 2008
To Err is Human. To Arr is Pirate
a photo of Walken with the phrase "You're a Cantaloupe".
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Old 07-11-2019, 10:05 PM
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Any and all personalized plates. They are all fucking stupid. Every. Single. One. Yes, even yours. You know you are.
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Old 07-11-2019, 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Guest-starring: Id! View Post
Bumper stickers:

I Might Be Slow But I'm Ahead of You
RELAX (gee that's not passive aggressive, like, at all! Probably more provocative, than anything, perhaps?)
Any variations of "Care - Child in Car" (does the driver think, what - "good, I shouldn't get rear-ended/tailgaited now." or "maybe they'll just drive more gingerly behind me now." Me - I'll just treat each driver on the road with the same amount of respect and caution as any other, thank-you very much, as all drivers should, obviously.)
Don't Like My Driving? Call 1-800-FUCK-OFF
The yellow and black diamond with the goat crapping off the cliff.
The fish

Accessories:

trailer hitch balls
spoilers
lights underneath (hopefully a dying fad?)
a-wooga horns
blacked-out windows
low riders
fog-light racks
anything printed out in old english lettering.
trucks outfitted with coal-rolling goodness. (mainly a southern thing?)
I agree with all of these except for a few caveats...

I have seen some bad ass undercarriage lighting, but only as a package of a very well done car. But 90% of the ones I see are total garbage.

Same idea with rear wings. If the whole car is set up with serious racing gear, it's pretty awesome. But again 90% of the ones the road are nothing but useless garbage.
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Old 07-11-2019, 10:28 PM
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^^ Those are great, Id!!

Lookout Mountain, Chattanooga, Tennessee, has a tourist attraction called "Rock City." Back in the '60s, when cars had actual bumpers, RC munchkins would go around the parking lot while you were visiting the park and attach, "See Rock City," bumper stickers to your car. Now, these were thick cardboard placards, 8" x 24", with slots on the ends that they would slip metal strips into for hooking onto your bumper. No sticky bumper residue if you didn't wish to advertise the joint.* Can you imagine? See Rock City was plastered on so many birdhouses, barn roofs and billboards all over the South, that you might think it was the official Motto of The South. Later, the bumper stickers were made smaller, had sticky backs and were shortened to just, "Rock City." Narly? Nah. Now--you have to buy them. As if!

* My Dad hung ours in the club-basement for I-don't-know-how-long.

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 07-11-2019 at 10:31 PM.
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Old 07-11-2019, 10:36 PM
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Rear window sticker on a truck:

"Black Guns Matter"
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Old 07-11-2019, 10:53 PM
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a picture of the Bible with the phrase underneath saying "Jesus Dies on Page 681".
Cleese/Palin 2008
Those are great!
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Old 07-11-2019, 11:58 PM
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Thanks Burpo and Heaven.

Not a bumper sticker, but a huge-ass decal (that runs the entire freaking length of a truck that I'll be buying tomorrow touting the services of a chimney sweep) will have to be removed. I was told it's vinyl and can be removed - not sure if I should take a hair-drier to it to heat it up, or what, never attempted that kinda thing, so if there's any (hopefully not too derailing) advice on this - much appreciated.

The 0.0 stickers. What are those about?
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:36 AM
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You know those "Baby on Board" signs? In Bangkok, I saw one car with "Baby on the Board." And not just a sign but painted right on the car's body. In English. More funny than bothersome in this case.
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:51 AM
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I saw one just yesterday. A sticker that read, "Guilty Of Being White".

I'm not sure what that means...

Quote:
Originally Posted by burpo the wonder mutt View Post
Those "family decals" they put on rear windows, make me uneasy when they spell out the names and sexes of all the kids. y.
Don't remember where I saw it, but there was one with a female adult and a couple kids over one the left side of the rear window and a male and female adult over on the right side. The female was labeled, "Dad's Whore".
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Guest-starring: Id! View Post
a picture of the Bible with the phrase underneath saying "Jesus Dies on Page 681".
Funny! Never saw that one before.


I was a little shocked the other day to see a car in a parking lot with several Confederate flag stickers. One of them had some writing on it, which in essence said, "I uphold the beliefs of the Confederacy". No "history buff" sugarcoating at all.
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:00 AM
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0.0 I would guess is zero mile marathons ��

Not bothersome but makes me smile. There is a Mom in town with dwarfism. Her husband and kids are average height. So on the back of her van is the family figures but none have bodies they’re just heads.

Last edited by chela; 07-12-2019 at 08:03 AM.
  #17  
Old 07-12-2019, 08:18 AM
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a picture of the Bible with the phrase underneath saying "Jesus Dies on Page 681".
Yeah, spoil the plot twists for everybody.

Of course, everybody should know by now that when it comes to killing off major characters, God's even worse than Joss Whedon.
  #18  
Old 07-12-2019, 08:18 AM
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<snip> Don't remember where I saw it, but there was one with a female adult and a couple kids over one the left side of the rear window and a male and female adult over on the right side. The female was labeled, "Dad's Whore".
Classy!
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:22 AM
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^^ Those are great, Id!!

Lookout Mountain, Chattanooga, Tennessee, has a tourist attraction called "Rock City." Back in the '60s, when cars had actual bumpers, RC munchkins would go around the parking lot while you were visiting the park and attach, "See Rock City," bumper stickers to your car. Now, these were thick cardboard placards, 8" x 24", with slots on the ends that they would slip metal strips into for hooking onto your bumper. No sticky bumper residue if you didn't wish to advertise the joint.* Can you imagine? See Rock City was plastered on so many birdhouses, barn roofs and billboards all over the South, that you might think it was the official Motto of The South. Later, the bumper stickers were made smaller, had sticky backs and were shortened to just, "Rock City." Narly? Nah. Now--you have to buy them. As if!

* My Dad hung ours in the club-basement for I-don't-know-how-long.
I have a See Rock City barn Christmas tree ornament I got as a gift once (I asked for local kitsch when asked what I wanted from the area).

These colors don't run bumper stickers that are all faded. Um...
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:26 AM
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The 'baby on board' signs were big in the 1980s I think, then disappeared for a couple of decades before making their current comeback.

What I've always wondered is, suppose you see a "baby on board" sign on a car in a parking lot on a hot day, with the tinted windows rolled up so you can't see inside at all well, and you know it's got to be 150° inside the car, so if there really IS a baby on board, it's either dead or needs to be rescued immediately. Are you justified in smashing a window to get in?
  #21  
Old 07-12-2019, 08:28 AM
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Yeah, spoil the plot twists for everybody.

Of course, everybody should know by now that when it comes to killing off major characters, God's even worse than Joss Whedon.
Wanna know what happens three pages later?
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:37 AM
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[Moderating]
This thread has been reported as being in the wrong forum, but I'm going to rule that car decorations are art, and so it's fine here.

Kitschy, low-class art, maybe, but then, calling it that is art criticism, which still belongs here.
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Old 07-12-2019, 08:45 AM
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^Where's your contribution, C? Modding don't feed the baby.

In my brother's neighborhood, there's a guy who has/had an old VW Beetle that is solid bumper stickers; there might be some paint visible.

I remember seeing a Beetle with beautifully mown grass (front-to-back, top-to-bottom, left-to-right) instead of a paint-job.
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:14 AM
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It only bothered me because I didn't know if it was intentionally done or not, but I had an English teacher in high school who had two bumper stickers on her Scirocco:

Left side: Teachers do more than teach

Right side: Ask me about Mary Kay cosmetics

FWIW, I finally got around to asking her, and her answer was "Absolutely that was intentional."
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:35 AM
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The Greek warrior head with "μολὼν λαβέ, (or, because we speak American here, molṑn labé). My first response, is, how'd that work out for Leonidas? My second is, "I find your terms acceptable".
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:44 AM
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The ones that really irk me are the nimrods around here who fly full sized flags from the back of their pickup trucks. "Yea, 'Murika!"

They are so proud of the accident of their birthplace that they violate the Flag Code (4 U.S. Code § 8. Respect for flag) about 25 ways a day.
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:45 AM
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The ones that really irk me are the nimrods around here who fly full sized flags from the back of their pickup trucks. "Yea, 'Murika!"

They are so proud of the accident of their birthplace that they violate the Flag Code (4 U.S. Code § 8. Respect for flag) about 25 ways a day.
They wouldn't know since there's no picture book version of the Flag Code.
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Old 07-12-2019, 09:54 AM
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All well covered. I'll just add a pet peeve of mine: Dealership stickers and badges.

Doesn't rise to the level of the ones already mentioned... but why?
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:03 AM
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The 'baby on board' signs were big in the 1980s I think, then disappeared for a couple of decades before making their current comeback.

What I've always wondered is, suppose you see a "baby on board" sign on a car in a parking lot on a hot day, with the tinted windows rolled up so you can't see inside at all well, and you know it's got to be 150° inside the car, so if there really IS a baby on board, it's either dead or needs to be rescued immediately. Are you justified in smashing a window to get in?

We now have variations, like 'Baby Up In This Bitch' and 'Huge Financial Burden on Board'.
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:04 AM
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From the OP's list, the ones that irk me the most are low riders and spoilers. Some kid lowers their car so it's an inch of the ground, and this is supposed to be cool, I guess. Then they put a spoiler on the back, like they think their little Honda is a race car.

I saw one of these a few years ago that made me downright angry. I was behind one of these idiots while he was spending 30 seconds going over a speed bump, and I noticed the stencil on his back window: "Please have patience, I'm lowered!" Well, this had the opposite effect. For a few seconds, I seriously considered confronting this guy after he parked his car to explain that I am NOT going to have patience. Because he deliberately turned his car into a traffic problem, and asking me to have patience about it is as obnoxious as it gets. I didn't, of course, but it was a nice little fantasy.
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:05 AM
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The Greek warrior head with "μολὼν λαβέ, (or, because we speak American here, molṑn labé). My first response, is, how'd that work out for Leonidas? My second is, "I find your terms acceptable".
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The ones that really irk me are the nimrods around here who fly full sized flags from the back of their pickup trucks. "Yea, 'Murika!"

They are so proud of the accident of their birthplace that they violate the Flag Code (4 U.S. Code § 8. Respect for flag) about 25 ways a day.
What a lot of folks have said:

Molon Labe stickers
Full size US, confederate and Gadsden flags
Coal-rollers with semi exhaust stacks (not just a southern thing)
Bumper nuts
Redoubt stickers
Just the huge, lifted full-sized trucks in general
MAGA accessories

I guess there is a benefit to those items: They quickly identify individuals I don't want to talk to.
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Old 07-12-2019, 10:13 AM
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I love some good nekkid lady mudflaps. My husband and I saw some on a beater TransCamero years ago and I wondered "who???? Does this guy think when he picks up his date she sees those and thinks "oh, goody, I'm going to get laid tonight!"?

My daughter wants truck nuts for her Fiat 500. But they'd drag on the pavement.
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Old 07-12-2019, 11:53 AM
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Ooooh, just remembered one. Big round sticker on the back window of an old guy's truck, looked like an EMT logo but if you looked closely the writing said "Orgasm Donor."
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Old 07-12-2019, 11:58 AM
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I'm not a fan of the sticker showing Calvin (of the Calvin & Hobbes comic strip) pissing. For one thing, it's vulgar while the strip itself never was. For another thing, it's obviously not authorized by the artist.
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:00 PM
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My daughter wants truck nuts for her Fiat 500. But they'd drag on the pavement.
I have totally been thinking about how to make a fortune by selling "truck ovaries".
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:08 PM
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Spoilers... on pickup trucks. I actually saw one of these recently and thought "WTF is the point of that?"
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:14 PM
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The stupidity and cowardice of the co-exist bumpersticker.
The uselessness of the Free Tibet bumpersticker.
And any bumpersticker with small type.
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:16 PM
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The stupidity and cowardice of the co-exist bumpersticker.
Why "cowardice"?

(not that I agree with the "stupidity" part, but I think I at least understand where you're coming from.)
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:18 PM
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"Trump 2020"
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:22 PM
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Car window memorials. I get it, you miss the person, but do you really want to look at that every time you get in a car?
This 1000%, see them all the time and I just ask myself "why" and can't people mourn with dignity and not have a poster on your car (usually truck or SUV) "advertising" you lost someone close to you? Who hasn't?
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:22 PM
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Saw "Blow Jobs Paid For This Truck" on my last visit to New Orleans.
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:24 PM
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0.0 I would guess is zero mile marathons ��
The small writing on those 0.0 stickers says "I don't run". I think it's humorous as there are so may people with running stickers on their cars (me included). Now a 5K sticker, come on people!
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Old 07-12-2019, 12:25 PM
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Speaking of stupid spoilers, I'm going to give a pass to the incredibly ridiculous over the top bozuzoku cars. But only if they go all out on the whole car, not just one stupid piece.
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Old 07-12-2019, 01:45 PM
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I have totally been thinking about how to make a fortune by selling "truck ovaries".
Make little shields that fit over the "Ram" logo, but altered to look like female plumbing.

https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/commen...e_logo_is_the/
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Old 07-12-2019, 02:55 PM
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This 1000%, see them all the time and I just ask myself "why" and can't people mourn with dignity and not have a poster on your car (usually truck or SUV) "advertising" you lost someone close to you? Who hasn't?
Even worse is when one of those gets partially removed/peeled off. It's so tacky. But grief makes people do weird things, so...
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Old 07-12-2019, 03:04 PM
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Calvin peeing on anything
"Daddy Bought it But I Got It" (Great, you're a spoiled brat. Got it.)
"Always Late but Worth the Wait" (No, honey, trust me, you're not)
Any kind of "Baby on Board" accessory, but particularly the permanently affixed ones (I worry about that kid--don't the parents ever take them out of the car?)
Anything about the owner's grandchildren and how cute they are (<Black Panther voice> I don't care. </BPV>

I like the "family" ones where the family are all cats or dogs.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:40 PM
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'Beam me up, Scotty'

You know the decorative duct tape? There's a car I see occasionally with this tape allover it. Of all varieties. An old Mercury Marquis, covered with duct tape. Beautiful ride, all in all.

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 07-12-2019 at 04:42 PM.
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Old 07-12-2019, 04:48 PM
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Saw "Blow Jobs Paid For This Truck" on my last visit to New Orleans.
I saw one that said, "I'm not gay . . . but $20 is $20."
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Old 07-12-2019, 05:27 PM
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Until recently I lived in a very respectable Midwestern suburb. Across the street in a house nicer than mine with a lawn service lived a nice woman and her stand-up teenage son. On both their cars was the bumper sticker: "Ass, Grass, or Cash - Nobody rides for free."
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Old 07-12-2019, 05:49 PM
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Anything about the owner's grandchildren and how cute they are (<Black Panther voice> I don't care. </BPV>

I like the "family" ones where the family are all cats or dogs.
Someone on another board said she saw a "family window sticker" with 10 stick figures, and was tempted to throw some condoms at them. I, and several other people, said they may have included sons- and/or daughters-in-law and grandchildren, or they may have adopted some or all of those kids.

My back window is decorated with two paw stickers, and a "NEED TO VOTE" sticker.
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