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  #101  
Old 07-15-2019, 02:56 PM
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The memorial stickers annoy me for mostly shitty, selfish reasons. I just don't want to be bothered by your tacky display grief. Having said that, I find that they seem very drama-queenish. "It's been 16 years since my kid died but EVERYONE MUST KNOW OF MY LOSS!" It's an automotive Munchausen syndrome.
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  #102  
Old 07-15-2019, 03:05 PM
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Automotive Munchausen sounds like a good Techno band name.
  #103  
Old 07-15-2019, 03:05 PM
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Bumper stickers (on the wall) of the Nelson Muntz home- 'bomb the Indians and take their casinos' & 'nuke the arabs and take their oil'

Last edited by Helmut Doork; 07-15-2019 at 03:06 PM.
  #104  
Old 07-15-2019, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by puddleglum View Post
Because they have a bunch of symbols of religions that don't bother anyone just because they don't have the guts to say what they really mean, Muslims knock it off.
Knowing more than a few people with "co-exist" bumper stickers, my experience is that the passive-aggressive subtext is aimed at Christians, not Muslims.
  #105  
Old 07-15-2019, 03:56 PM
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I'm not a fan of the sticker showing Calvin (of the Calvin & Hobbes comic strip) pissing. For one thing, it's vulgar while the strip itself never was. For another thing, it's obviously not authorized by the artist.
Just as annoying to me are the depictions of the faux Calvin kneeling in prayer before a cross. That strip was not pious either. That said, I've been tempted to get both versions, cut them up and reassemble one so that Calvin is pissing on the cross. Naughty me!
  #106  
Old 07-15-2019, 03:58 PM
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I've been tempted to get four of the peeing ones and make them target each other so it would look like a Celtic cross.
  #107  
Old 07-15-2019, 04:02 PM
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"Coexist" is usually aimed at a specific subset of Christians. Most of the folks I know displaying one are Christians themselves.

I imagine that approximately 0.0% of the people displaying one primarily intend it to mean "Muslims knock it off".
  #108  
Old 07-15-2019, 04:21 PM
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Also agree certain Christians are the base target for the coexist sticker- those type Christians don't display the sticker themselves, as they aren't ok with coexistence- they would prefer others not be here in the country, at all. Or ok with coexistence as in, you exist in country and stay out of mine.

Last edited by Helmut Doork; 07-15-2019 at 04:22 PM.
  #109  
Old 07-15-2019, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by running coach View Post
They wouldn't know since there's no picture book version of the Flag Code.
There is! Or there was. When I was a kid I had a picture book version of the flag code printed during WWII. No one follows it any more.

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Originally Posted by E-DUB View Post
I once saw a hearse with a bumper sticker that said: "I want your body".
Okay, that's funny.

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Originally Posted by Dewey Finn View Post
The other day I saw a Ford F-series pickup truck with the Ford ovals on the front and rear replaced with ones that said Tonka. Didn't look home-made so presumably someone is making and selling this stuff.
as is that.

And I agree that the "coexist" sticker is mostly aimed at fundamentalist Christians, but the intent is usually to say, "don't hate people different from you."
  #110  
Old 07-15-2019, 08:16 PM
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My favorite variation of the stick-figure family decals is "Making my family"
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  #111  
Old 07-15-2019, 09:19 PM
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You'd need to make sure to use waterproof glue, then. And don't they shed their scales after a while?
Why? Because of the pee...oh, I see what you did there.

(Yes, honestly my train of thought when reading that sentence.)
  #112  
Old 07-15-2019, 10:26 PM
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Until recently I lived in a very respectable Midwestern suburb. Across the street in a house nicer than mine with a lawn service lived a nice woman and her stand-up teenage son. On both their cars was the bumper sticker: "Ass, Grass, or Cash - Nobody rides for free."
Go to a motorcycle rally sometime. A rally at which everyone is riding Harley-Davidsons.

No bumper stickers, obviously, but many helmet stickers.

Some proclaim the helmet-wearer's disdain for mandatory helmet laws.

But a huge percentage are pretty nasty. The ever-popular "Ass, gas or grass..." sticker, of course, but also:

"No fat chicks" (usually sported by a more or less obese moron)
"I'd rather see my sister in a whorehouse than my brother on a Honda"
"Speak English or get the fuck out"
"Friends don't let friends ride rice burners" (okay, that one isn't so bad)
"One bomb wasn't enough"
"Immigrants are like sperm. Millons get in but only one works"

And, of course:

"Loud pipes save lives."

And sooo many more. Often displayed by someone who is flying an American flag off the back of his bike.

For people who insist that they're rebels, they're amazingly identical, right down to the black t-shirts and support of one particular political party (and president).
  #113  
Old 07-15-2019, 11:07 PM
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About the Calvin stickers: I have serious doubts that most people sporting those even know who Calvin is. I'm sure these dunderheads see "piss on Ford" or whatever and say "awww yeah, I gots to get me one of them!"
  #114  
Old 07-15-2019, 11:57 PM
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About the Calvin stickers: I have serious doubts that most people sporting those even know who Calvin is. I'm sure these dunderheads see "piss on Ford" or whatever and say "awww yeah, I gots to get me one of them!"
I can confirm this to be true for at least 4 or 5 cases I know personally.
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  #115  
Old 07-16-2019, 12:51 AM
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The only thing that I've seen that truly bothers me is the local version of rolling coal: people who have let their vehicle fall into such disrepair that it drives down the street spewing clouds of black smoke. We dont have mandatory emissions testing here and this is a rural, poor community so unfortunately stinky, smoky vehicles aren't particularly rare.

The HID lights in OEM halogen housings drive me up the wall. They're stupid and dangerous. Thankfully, they're also quite rare around here.

Those two things actually bother me. But what im seeing more and more of lately is pickup trucks (everyone around here seemingly has to drive a pickup) that have been lifted but, instead of putting oversized tires on them (the whole point of putting a lift kit on a truck or SUV) the owner puts slightly oversized rims with low profile tires. See here for a representative pic:

https://www.hotcars.com/australia-cr...pickup-trucks/

I mean... why? What. The. Fuck. Is. The. Point? They're ugly, completely useless, and cost quite a bit to install. Additionally, low-profile tires are notoriously shit on any uneven or loose surfaces so... what, you're never going to drive that big expensive pickup anywhere more challenging than wet pavement? Likely so.
  #116  
Old 07-16-2019, 05:30 AM
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I have come across several of the things users have discussed here. But two things that actually bother me were things I never saw firsthand. Interestingly, I came to knew of the following via comedy routines.

First: this one was from George Carlin; he vents his funny vitriol about a bumper sticker that he alleges went: "We are the proud parents of a Honours' student." I'd be ticked off by this too--using your kid as an accessory to desperately build you self-esteem. Ironically this has nothing do with "self"esteem; if your worth is bound to your child's success, I pity you.

Second: this one was from Louis CK; he describes how he felt when he saw a car ahead of him with a sticker that read: "Tell your girlfriend I said thanks." Needless to say, many people might find this silly.
  #117  
Old 07-16-2019, 07:37 AM
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It has apparently become popular in some pickup truck circles to jack up the front of the vehicle and lower the rear. Yep, it looks as stupid as it sounds, and I'm not sure how you could use the modified vehicle for its intended function.

The most annoying stickers I see are giant script monograms, often in neon colors, placed in the center of an SUV's rear window -- right in the path of the rear wiper blade. Brilliant.

I always feel sorry for the child in question when I see a car with a "My child is a terrific kid!" sticker. When I was in high school, those were the stickers handed out to kids who couldn't make any honor roll, and were often just getting by. Way to advertise that to the whole world, proud parent.

Sticker-wise, I have quite a collection of stickers on my '97 Jeep's windows, but nothing that could be viewed as commenting on any religious or political group (certain religiously/politically conservative folks in this area can get a bit violent when they feel offended). There edgiest one on there says "Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms: Who's Bringing the Chips?"
  #118  
Old 07-16-2019, 07:55 AM
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I recently saw an 'Adults on board we don't want to die either', and my all time favourite, the fish symbol with 'n chips' on the inside; irreverent, but not aggressively so. Political stickers aren't so common here in general, though there's a few county symbols that it seems all the locals have on their car. I have been told I should get one, by someone who claimed you'd experience less aggressive driving if you have one (tourist area- tourists are very unpopular with many locals), but I'm not playing that game.

One other actual relevant bit someone pointed out to me for the 'baby on board' ones is that it can be a request not to park too close, which is an issue here, as cars are getting wider but parking spaces often aren't. Having space to get a baby carrier in and out is probably a regular issue.
  #119  
Old 07-16-2019, 08:07 AM
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If that's the message, why not say so explicitly? Some disabled vans have a sign indicating that they need more space on the side or back for the ramp.
  #120  
Old 07-16-2019, 11:04 AM
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Interesting...do you also read the Register? Many posters there use "obligatory" and "XKCD link" in the same sentence...
Nope. Picked it up here.
  #121  
Old 07-16-2019, 11:44 AM
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First: this one was from George Carlin; he vents his funny vitriol about a bumper sticker that he alleges went: "We are the proud parents of a Honours' student." I'd be ticked off by this too--using your kid as an accessory to desperately build you self-esteem. Ironically this has nothing do with "self"esteem; if your worth is bound to your child's success, I pity you.
As someone who received those honor roll stickers in middle school (my high school didn't give them out as far as I can remember), I can tell you my parents didn't put them on their cars, I did. And I probably would have been upset if they didn't want them on their cars. I would guess this is the case with many if not most of the vehicles displaying these stickers; it's not about the parents "using your kid as an accessory to desperately build you self-esteem." It's about the kids being proud of their accomplishments and wanting to display the sticker that they earned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeep's Phoenix View Post
I always feel sorry for the child in question when I see a car with a "My child is a terrific kid!" sticker. When I was in high school, those were the stickers handed out to kids who couldn't make any honor roll, and were often just getting by. Way to advertise that to the whole world, proud parent.
My middle school had the "terrific kid" stickers as well, but they weren't "handed out to kids who couldn't make any honor roll". Every month home room teachers would nominate a "terrific kid", and there were criteria for receiving one, but those criteria weren't necessarily academic. It was based more on behavior, staying out of trouble, and things like that.

Now I'm going to flip the script and talk about a modification that I thought was stupid at first, but after I thought about it more I realized it was actually an improvement. The landscapers who maintain my neighbor's lawn use a lowrider pickup truck as their work truck. When I saw it at first I thought it was a silly thing to do, after all they likely reduced the truck's payload capacity by messing with the suspension. But then I noticed other landscapers driving around in trucks with the beds completely empty, hauling their equipment around on trailers. Now that's silly, buying a truck and not using the bed for its intended purpose, but rather substituting a trailer. But I understand why they do it -- the beds of modern full sized pickups are so high off the ground it's difficult to actually load things into them. Meanwhile my neighbor's guys, with their truck's bed much lower to the ground, can easily lift their equipment in and out of their truck and have no need for a trailer. However they may have affected its payload capacity it's still more than able to handle a couple of mowers, leaf blowers, and trimmers. I now have to conclude that for their purpose, lowering their truck actually improved it.
  #122  
Old 07-17-2019, 10:19 AM
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Back in the day there were loads of bumperstickers in the form "I HEART MY Something". (DOG, CAT, SPOUSE, etc). Someone started selling small stickers showing a picture of a screw, so that one could put it over the heart on an offending bumper sticker. Saw lots of "I SCREW MY DOG" after that.
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  #123  
Old 07-17-2019, 10:57 AM
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^ Gallagher had "I ♠️ My Dog" as part of his act.
  #124  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:21 AM
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I never saw that as part of a Gallagher act, but I have seen those stickers "in the wild", so to speak.
  #125  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:39 AM
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My favorite variation of the stick-figure family decals is ]"Making my family"[/url]
I'd think that one were funny if the woman looked like she's actively participating. The particular combination of body language and expressions makes it look disturbing to me. -- come to think of it, the "my" instead of "our" is probably contributing to my reaction; not that it would do so in all contexts, but in combination with the rest of it.
  #126  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:51 AM
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Doubt it's the "most" bothersome, but one of my less favorite ones is the "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read it in English, thank a soldier." I'm okay with the first part but the second part is kind of annoying.

It has after all been quite some time since the US has fought a war that might have ended in the conquest of this country. We didn't exactly win in Vietnam but didn;t wind up speaking Vietnamese. We had no chance of speaking Korean after the Korean Conflict or Arabic following either of the Gulf wars. And even if Germany or Japan had managed to defeat the US in WWII, it seems doubtful in the extreme that they would have managed to convert us to speaking their language, or that they would have spent much time and effort trying. Same with Russia in the Cold War.

I'm fine with appreciating the work the troops have done, but this is a weird and rather counterfactual way of going about doing it.

Last edited by Ulf the Unwashed; 07-17-2019 at 11:51 AM.
  #127  
Old 07-17-2019, 12:20 PM
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^ Gallagher had "I ♠️ My Dog" as part of his act.
There are 4 levels of humor associated with this meme:

"I <heart> my dog." This is simple, basic, humor. That kind your grandmother would get.

"I <spade> my dog." A little more to it. A few brain cells are required. Still tame.

"I <club> my dog." Okay, now you're going for the shock humor. Something different.

"I <diamond> my dog." Either you're Paris Hilton (meh) or are into surreal humor (cool) but no way to tell (?).
  #128  
Old 07-17-2019, 03:04 PM
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And even if Germany or Japan had managed to defeat the US in WWII, it seems doubtful in the extreme that they would have managed to convert us to speaking their language, or that they would have spent much time and effort trying. Same with Russia in the Cold War.
Japan spent decades trying to Japanize the Ainu, Wajin, Ryukyuans, and Koreans.

Germany and Austria spent centuries trying to Germanize the Balts, Slavs, and Balkan peoples.

Russia spent centuries trying to Russify its subject peoples. Lenin briefly stopped it, but it resumed under Stalin, and continues to this day.
  #129  
Old 07-17-2019, 03:51 PM
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Japan spent decades trying to Japanize the Ainu, Wajin, Ryukyuans, and Koreans.

Germany and Austria spent centuries trying to Germanize the Balts, Slavs, and Balkan peoples.

Russia spent centuries trying to Russify its subject peoples. Lenin briefly stopped it, but it resumed under Stalin, and continues to this day.

You'll note a salient detail regarding the examples you provided : none of them feature "entire freaking oceans between cultural oppressors and their victims". Germany, Japan nor Russia had any plans whatsoever to invade the US ; nor would they have had the means to do so.
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  #130  
Old 07-17-2019, 03:58 PM
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Yes, but those were all people in their country, or right next to it, and they were all minorities. Much harder to convert a people more numerous than your own, and on the other side of the world.
  #131  
Old 07-17-2019, 04:51 PM
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...Although, the T-Rex eating the stick figure family is pretty funny.
I had one of those. Here's the thing though. Originally, it came with lettering that said, "Your stick figure family was delicious". I took that off. One shouldn't explain a joke. Ruins it.
  #132  
Old 07-17-2019, 05:29 PM
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"Coexist" is usually aimed at a specific subset of Christians. Most of the folks I know displaying one are Christians themselves.

I imagine that approximately 0.0% of the people displaying one primarily intend it to mean "Muslims knock it off".
How do you get that the "Coexist" bumper stickers are directed at a specific subset of Christians? Do the Christians you know who have them say so? Which ones are they aimed at?

I always saw the stickers as a call to ecumenical peace and a reproof of trouble-makers and intolerance of all stripes. I got the impression that folks like Bill Maher disliked these, in fact, because they were so general and non-committal.

I personally think the sentiment is laudable, if bland. I don't see why there's all the hate for it.
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  #133  
Old 07-17-2019, 05:31 PM
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Saw one in the wild today and immediately thought of this thread:

"I dont need Google, I have the King James Bible."

  #134  
Old 07-17-2019, 06:08 PM
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From the very first time I saw the bumper sticker: "QUESTION AUTHORITY" only one thought has ever immediately come to mind:

"Is that an order?"
  #135  
Old 07-17-2019, 06:47 PM
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From the very first time I saw the bumper sticker: "QUESTION AUTHORITY" only one thought has ever immediately come to mind:

"Is that an order?"

See also : this John Oliver bit.
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  #136  
Old 07-17-2019, 07:01 PM
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From the very first time I saw the bumper sticker: "QUESTION AUTHORITY" only one thought has ever immediately come to mind:

"Is that an order?"
This isn't an automotive accessory at all, but that just reminded me of the time I was riding a light rail train and saw a guy being written a ticket presumably for fare evasion. His tshirt said "Defy authority". I guess he practices what his shirt says.
  #137  
Old 07-17-2019, 07:59 PM
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Those "family decals" they put on rear windows, make me uneasy when they spell out the names and sexes of all the kids. Although, the T-Rex eating the stick figure family is pretty funny.
Another relevant xkcd.
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  #138  
Old 07-17-2019, 08:28 PM
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Saw one in the wild today and immediately thought of this thread:

"I dont need Google, I have the King James Bible."

I need to replace the air filter on my lawn mower. Anybody got a KJV around to help look up the part number?

I mean, sheesh. Sure, have your religion, if you want. But why does your holy book have to be an exhaustive reference on all things under the sun? Can't it just be sort of a do-no-evil manual?
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Old 07-17-2019, 08:31 PM
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The "MOLON LABE" goobers are kind of a sad breed. Nobody wants your little Wal-Mart toy. You might want to look into jelqing.
  #140  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:23 PM
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"Alumni ... xxx University". Should be Alumnus or Alumna.
  #141  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:32 PM
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I cannot even imagine why how someone decorates their car concerns, worries, or upsets you.
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  #142  
Old 07-17-2019, 09:46 PM
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I cannot even imagine why how someone decorates their car concerns, worries, or upsets you.
Those are all strong words. How about "annoys?" Also, you seemed reasonable bored enough to comment here. Can you imagine that we are all bored enough to bitch about stupid shit on the internet too?
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  #143  
Old 07-17-2019, 11:45 PM
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Back in the day there were loads of bumperstickers in the form "I HEART MY Something". (DOG, CAT, SPOUSE, etc). Someone started selling small stickers showing a picture of a screw, so that one could put it over the heart on an offending bumper sticker. Saw lots of "I SCREW MY DOG" after that.
Or they had a spade (playing card symbol) so it said "I (spayed) MY DOG."

Yesterday, I saw a van with military plates (and a woman in camouflage got out) and the plate said "GFY." I'm assuming those were her initials, or maybe those of her husband, but I just can't imagine this would be anything she would want to say to her commanding officer.
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Old 07-18-2019, 06:22 AM
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As someone who received those honor roll stickers in middle school (my high school didn't give them out as far as I can remember), I can tell you my parents didn't put them on their cars, I did. And I probably would have been upset if they didn't want them on their cars. I would guess this is the case with many if not most of the vehicles displaying these stickers; it's not about the parents "using your kid as an accessory to desperately build you self-esteem." It's about the kids being proud of their accomplishments and wanting to display the sticker that they earned.



My middle school had the "terrific kid" stickers as well, but they weren't "handed out to kids who couldn't make any honor roll". Every month home room teachers would nominate a "terrific kid", and there were criteria for receiving one, but those criteria weren't necessarily academic. It was based more on behavior, staying out of trouble, and things like that.

Now I'm going to flip the script and talk about a modification that I thought was stupid at first, but after I thought about it more I realized it was actually an improvement. The landscapers who maintain my neighbor's lawn use a lowrider pickup truck as their work truck. When I saw it at first I thought it was a silly thing to do, after all they likely reduced the truck's payload capacity by messing with the suspension. But then I noticed other landscapers driving around in trucks with the beds completely empty, hauling their equipment around on trailers. Now that's silly, buying a truck and not using the bed for its intended purpose, but rather substituting a trailer. But I understand why they do it -- the beds of modern full sized pickups are so high off the ground it's difficult to actually load things into them. Meanwhile my neighbor's guys, with their truck's bed much lower to the ground, can easily lift their equipment in and out of their truck and have no need for a trailer. However they may have affected its payload capacity it's still more than able to handle a couple of mowers, leaf blowers, and trimmers. I now have to conclude that for their purpose, lowering their truck actually improved it.
Hope you didn't find my post distasteful

The larger point pertains to the need to advertise one's achievements. At the same time, the practice also discourages students from trying harder, what with abusive parents saying "Tom's parents have got the sticker, where's ours?"
  #145  
Old 07-18-2019, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by HMS Irruncible View Post
The "MOLON LABE" goobers are kind of a sad breed. Nobody wants your little Wal-Mart toy. You might want to look into jelqing.
In so short a post I was edified to learn two new phrases. Ignorance somewhat lessened.

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Originally Posted by Paul in Qatar View Post
I cannot even imagine why how someone decorates their car concerns, worries, or upsets you.
I cannot even imagine either. Well, I guess except for the resulting PTSD greatly stepping up my Atavin and Adderall intake, oh and the hyperventilations and chalkboard scratching...

But other than that, I'm coping fine, thank-you.
  #146  
Old 07-18-2019, 08:34 AM
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There are 4 levels of humor associated with this meme:

"I <heart> my dog." This is simple, basic, humor. That kind your grandmother would get.

"I <spade> my dog." A little more to it. A few brain cells are required. Still tame.

"I <club> my dog." Okay, now you're going for the shock humor. Something different.

"I <diamond> my dog." Either you're Paris Hilton (meh) or are into surreal humor (cool) but no way to tell (?).
IIRC, the other "bumper sticker" of Gallagher's act was, "I ♣️ my wife." Did he figure he'd get more shit from the dog lobby than the wife lobby?

Last edited by burpo the wonder mutt; 07-18-2019 at 08:34 AM.
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