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  #51  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya View Post
I thought sta3535 was just talking about using real life consequences, sometimes a video to serve as a surrogate to reality in some situations, to reinforce empowering the kid to think through decisions.
I want my future kids to learn through real life experiences, online & outside of the house. I just don't see what the big deal is? If public schools show videos in health class, then why can't I show my son or daughter a video on YouTube?
  #52  
Old 06-10-2019, 10:55 PM
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Originally Posted by sta3535 View Post
If public schools show videos in health class, then why can't I show my son or daughter a video on YouTube?
You certainly can, but don't expect it make any kind of impression.
  #53  
Old 06-10-2019, 11:03 PM
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Originally Posted by sta3535 View Post
I want my future kids to learn through real life experiences, online & outside of the house. I just don't see what the big deal is? If public schools show videos in health class, then why can't I show my son or daughter a video on YouTube?
Videos in health class are designed by people who know more or less what they are doing - according to the current educational trend, that is. They are not random, there is a whole bunch of content that the video is shot to include. You going to get this from a random YouTube video?
Not to mention if a kid finds he or she can learn from YouTube video X, maybe he will find YouTube videos Y, Z and W which will be less to your liking.
It will be very tempting to park your kid in front of a screen. Don't do it unless absolutely necessary. And then control it.
Sure, when the kid is 10 you won't be able to control it, but the kid should be set by then on the right path.
  #54  
Old 06-11-2019, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by tavaritz View Post
If a teenager sleeps late and missies their schoolbus the right solution is to check what is their wake up cycle and adjust the schooling to that. That's the only way to get them get better schooling. A tired teenager cannot learn and gets frustrated and then the parents get frustrated and a vicious circle has started. Try to avoid that.

There have been good results in UK to recognize that not all teenagers are morning persons and adjust school hours to those who aren't. Try to get your local school do to that if you have late sleeping teenager.

Topi
The first order of business should be to adjust the teen's bedtime. The vast majority of people can alter their sleep cycle within a week's time simply by going to bed earlier, and getting up at the prescribed time regardless of sleepiness. I would also recommend taking the phone away at bedtime and returning it each morning. I've had friends tell stories of their kids texting at all hours, sometimes when they seem to be asleep.

There is a very small subset of people who have a rigid body clock. I was one of them for about 40 years. For that tiny subset, yes, adjusted hours are appropriate. But for most people, learning how to care for yourself within the restrictions of societal mores is an important part of development in the teen years.
  #55  
Old 06-12-2019, 11:08 AM
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I'm not a believer of washing my hands of any responsibility as a parent once my kid reaches X age, but the way I see it, my job as a parent is to help my kid lay a solid foundation, then dole out responsibility as the kid can handle it until it's theirs, then serve as a counselor/advisor/helper as needed. Typically that doesn't involve YouTube videos. The only video I remember watching as a kid that had any impact on my actions whatsoever was a video of a live birth where they showed the baby crowning and actually coming out of a woman's vagina (yes, I went to private school). We saw everything from crowning, baby coming out, umbilical cord and placenta. It was horrific and the best birth control ever.

At some point, barring developmental differences, abuse or neglect and any other caveat I can think of, your kid missing the bus, failing a class or waking up tired is NOT on you. If your kid is 5, yes - you need to set a bedtime and stick to it, make them do their homework before playing, etc. But if your kid is 15, they better make it to school ontime and if they don't, assuming they have the ability to do so, they're responsible for making it to school by other means and explaining to the administrators why they were tardy. If they fail a grade because they simply didn't turn their homework in and were otherwise able to do so mentally and physically, they'd better find a way to fix it or do better next time.

Having responsibility can also mean having more freedom. My 13 yo son is responsible for making sure his homework is done first thing when he gets home from school. Doing that also means he and his friends can bugger off and ride around the neighborhood until the streetlights come on and he doesn't have a thing to do once he gets home other than eat, play for a while and get ready for bed. He seems to think it's a pretty sweet deal.
  #56  
Old 06-18-2019, 09:23 AM
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I have two adult children. I was a stay-at-home-dad for nine years. So I pretty much molded them into the fine human beings that they are today.
I like to take credit for that but I know that it's only partially true.
Because like many here have said, most of this child-rearing stuff is a crap shoot. After they start school...and especially in junior high and beyond, peer pressure is an all-encompassing thing. It's what their friends say. What their friends do...how they behave. Sometimes you get lucky and they choose great kids to emulate. Sometimes they don't. And most times when things go south, you can pinpoint that is where it started.
  #57  
Old 06-18-2019, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sta3535 View Post
Being 21 years old, I came to realize that discipline comes in all different forms. However, I recently thought of the perfect way to teach your kids or teens how to act more appropriate for their age:
People have been trying to figure out the perfect way to teach kids to act appropriately for tens of thousands of years, and nobody has solved it yet. And you have done it after taking a psychology course in college? You are going to make a fortune if you publish this.

I will also promise to read yours posts if you post back here when your kids are born, then again at ages 2, 6, 12, 16, and 21.
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