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Old 04-06-2019, 02:42 PM
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If Someone With Medical Issues Says "Don't Cook for Me" Don't Cook For Them!


While in real life I often bite my tongue/grit my teeth over this, I have got to let it out.

Awhile back I did my new downstairs neighbor a favor. I told her there was no need to repay me. She insists. She insists by trying to cook for me even though I have explained I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this.

The last time I trusted someone to cook for me who did not know me well I almost fucking died, getting a fast ambulance ride to the ER in anaphylactic shock. That was the infamous I Didn't Use Tomatoes in the Stew I Used Ketchup Instead disaster.

Despite my continued pleas NOT to bring food to me the downstairs neighbor insists on doing this AND gets irate when I refuse the offer.

Too fucking bad. Either she takes it back, or it goes in the garbage. I have to protect my health.

I mean, I'm NOT asking that people cook a separate thing for me, I am NOT asking them to make their homes a "X, Y, Z" free zone, I am, in fact, trying NOT to inconvenience them by them NOT DOING something that puts me at risk. All they have to do is do nothing at all.

Look, people - if someone has a medical problem that puts them on a restricted diet and that person say PLEASE DO NOT COOK THINGS FOR ME the for the love of all that's holy DO NOT COOK FOR THEM. It doesn't have to be allergies - there are a number of conditions that put people under very strict dietary limits and it doesn't matter whether you've heard of that condition before or not. You could make a person very ill. You could kill them.

It's already stressful enough to live in a world where common foods are poison to you. Please do NOT add to this by refusing to take "no" for an answer. No means no, right? So respect that when it comes to dietary risks.

Last edited by Broomstick; 04-06-2019 at 02:42 PM.
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Old 04-06-2019, 02:52 PM
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The tea video seems particularly appropriate in this instance.

Sorry 'bout your neighbor, Broomstick.
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Old 04-06-2019, 03:06 PM
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I know exactly what you mean. If it's allowed on my diet or I don't have a phobic thing about it you're probably not serving it. I'm on a strict diet and have weirdness about a bunch of stuff. So, please don't cook for me. I will accept it gracefully and walk it straight to the trash when you leave. I have a friend she just knows I want a bit of everything she makes. I don't. I've finally over the years made her understand why I don't come to her house to eat or go out to restuarant with her. She doesn't like it but she accepts it, now.
I still have family who have known my condition my whole life and still try to kill me.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:03 PM
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I don't have food allergies, but my mother is allergic to the entire world. Tomatoes being a big one. Still amazes me how many times you tell a restaurant to make a dish without the tomatoes and out it comes, with tomatoes. Yeah, please don't kill my mother just because you're an idiot.

Same basic vein, there are a number of foods I just don't plain like. Eggplant and Rhubarb being two of them. I'm also Soy sensitive and can't eat very much of it before I get quite irritable. Don't fucking get insulted because you invited me over and made Eggplant-Rhubarb Tofu and I tell you that I can't and won't eat it. No, I'm not going to try just a little bit of it. I've been to a handful of dinners that were made very uncomfortable by the constant pressure to eat things I had repeatedly told them I don't like and won't eat.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:04 PM
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Pass it on to someone else or throw it out. The woman is compulsive, don't waste your life worrying about it.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:30 PM
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Back when I had a living spouse "pass it on" is what I did.

But, you know, when the biddy downstairs is banging on my door just after I've drifted off to sleep and trying to foist yet more food on me it pisses the hell out of me - it's not a matter of me choosing to lose sleep over it, it's someone actually waking me up!

(She also has issues with the fact that some days I have to leave for work at 4:30 am, necessitating I go to bed early. Somehow, this personally offends her or something.)

At least this week she and her boyfriend seem to be out of town mostly. Thank goodness.

As they say - no good deed goes unpunished.

And it's all very well to say "don't waste your life worrying about" but this comes up again and again and again. What the fuck is it with people who can't take "no" for answer when they offer you something?

Last edited by Broomstick; 04-06-2019 at 04:31 PM.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Chimera View Post
I don't have food allergies, but my mother is allergic to the entire world. Tomatoes being a big one. Still amazes me how many times you tell a restaurant to make a dish without the tomatoes and out it comes, with tomatoes. Yeah, please don't kill my mother just because you're an idiot.
Yep. Tomatoes are one of my worst allergies. And they're in every damn thing it seems like.
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:41 PM
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I have a friend who reacts violently to coconut, as in she vomits immediately. More than once, she's had this reaction, and whoever made it or brought it said, "Oh, I didn't think it would hurt you because it was made with coconut oil, and that's healthy."
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Old 04-06-2019, 04:53 PM
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I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this.
Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
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Old 04-06-2019, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
What the hell is it to you? Who are you to ask this question? Why would she lie, for Og's sake? Did you miss the part about ambulances and anaphylactic shock?

I've gone through that a couple of times in my life; fortunately, my allergies are a touch less severe than Broomstick's, and much less broad -- i.e. I'm only allergic to one category of foods that are relatively easy to avoid. Except when someone uses walnuts instead of pine nuts in their pesto because it's cheaper. That was the second time I had to go to the ER.

So what the hell is your problem here?
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Old 04-06-2019, 05:27 PM
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There are a lot of people with no food allergies who don't understand that you may have food allergies. Hey, I get it, but I eat absolutely anything that's fit for consumption. I'm sure some people think they can change your mind, like trying to convert gay people or something.
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Old 04-06-2019, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
What does this have to do with the neighbor violating a clear request? What if she was just told that the OP doesn't like garlic and insists on making food containing garlic?
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Old 04-06-2019, 05:47 PM
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OP, i think I would find a firm 'No' and use it. It's gonna hurt her feelings. You may have to hurt them to get her to stop. Put your hand up at the dish, don't even receive it in your hand. Say, 'I've told you many times I'm allergic to these foods, please DO NOT bring me anymore food. I cannot have it in my house!" and shut the door. On your early nights put out a post-it note saying: 'do not knock on this door after XX time or suffer my wrath!'

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 04-06-2019 at 05:50 PM.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I know exactly what you mean. If it's allowed on my diet or I don't have a phobic thing about it you're probably not serving it. I'm on a strict diet and have weirdness about a bunch of stuff. So, please don't cook for me.
And yet you'll eat any roadkill Mr Wrekker brings home.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:08 PM
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I'm sorry this was upsetting to Broomstick. I've sent you a nice package of home-made brownies with special icing to make up for it.*

This is marginally related, but I wish people who insist on holding a door for me when I'm a long distance away (for example, way down a flight of stairs) would stop doing this. I don't feel like rushing to get there and having to thank Mr./Ms. Samaritan for the privilege.

*not really.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:19 PM
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Ever think your neighbor does want to kill you?

I'm not allergic to foods, but I went on a lot of work trips with someone who was deathly allergic to shellfish of all kinds, so I get it. He had to be very careful that the waters got it, and it wasn't just a preference. He did have an experience like yours where someone didn't believe him. With very bad consequences.
It was especially fun in Tokyo.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:25 PM
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Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
Nope the people in the ambulance were random people taken off the street. The whole anaphylaxis thing was simply a guess made by the neighbor's dog walker.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:33 PM
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Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
I'm serious here: have you EVER made a useful contribution to this board? All I ever see from you is two-line drivebys, questions insinuating others are liars, and other blather bereft of content. On the plus side, you tend to keep it short.

Hey OP, just like there are people who are happy to do favors for others without expecting repayment, there are people who feel very guilty about others who do favors for them without providing a favor in return. You may want to consider a standard "this is how you can pay me back" thing to wave people off the way they impose with food that you can't tolerate. For example, maybe something like this: "No, seriously, you don't need to repay this favor. I enjoyed helping you out. No, really, it's nice you want to make me dinner but I have bad allergies. No, really. I insist. Well, okay, if you really won't let this go... I absolutely LOVE Twix bars, and if you got me one of the extra-large ones from the store, that would be the perfect gift."

Yeah, it might not work 100% of the time, but if you really drive the point home that Twix bars (or Diet Coke, or green rubber bands, or whatever) is like THE BEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD to you, maybe they can be diverted to harmless things.
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Old 04-06-2019, 06:48 PM
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Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
You really are a vacuous twat aren't you?
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Old 04-06-2019, 07:12 PM
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I would never presume to offer my cooking to people with allergies. I donít even cook for picky eaters any more, either.

Years ago we invited a pair of my wifeís co-workers, two gorgeous, fun young ladies, over for St. Paddyís Day dinner. I told them I would make a steak and kidney pie. They refused to eat kidneys, or anything to which a kidney had come into contact.

Okay, a nice leg of lamb? Lamb? Ewwwwwww!

I canít remember if I winded up preparing PB&Js, or if we just rescinded the invitation.
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Old 04-06-2019, 07:38 PM
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I'd tack up a sign on my door:

Extreme allergies
No food allowed

And, please, no knocking on door after 9 pm

Thank you for your consideration




(you could say "Doctor's Orders: Extreme Allergies!" if you want)
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:02 PM
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I have a chronic migraine condition with many, many sensitivities, not just food. I won't die from anything "normal" that I eat. But it might put me in horrific pain for hours, sometimes days and on some occasions, I may end up in the emergency room.

So I ask people not to cook for me. And there are some people who just won't accept this. It's like they take it as a personal challenge. I've had meals, desserts, whatever presented to me like it was some wonderful gift they were giving me because they just knew I'd like this thing they made without any of my food sensitivities.

Except people don't seem to get what the term "processed food" means or what dairy means, or what sugar means.

So it puts me in the position of outright refusing to try it - the responses to this vary from disappointment to butthurtness, to seething anger. Or I do try it and have a reaction right away or later after I leave. When this happens, I just don't say anything. I suffer through the pain they caused and save myself from dealing with their response. I don't want to hear either the butthurt or the are-you-sure-it-was-my-dish? third degree.

Ugh. Just leave me out of your foodie hobby or whatever gives you the idea that you simply must cook for me. What really sucks is most of these people were just being nice. I wish people would get that "being nice" also means listening to others about their own health.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:05 PM
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There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:08 PM
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I'm serious here: have you EVER made a useful contribution to this board? All I ever see from you is two-line drivebys, questions insinuating others are liars, and other blather bereft of content. On the plus side, you tend to keep it short.

Hey OP, just like there are people who are happy to do favors for others without expecting repayment, there are people who feel very guilty about others who do favors for them without providing a favor in return. You may want to consider a standard "this is how you can pay me back" thing to wave people off the way they impose with food that you can't tolerate. For example, maybe something like this: "No, seriously, you don't need to repay this favor. I enjoyed helping you out. No, really, it's nice you want to make me dinner but I have bad allergies. No, really. I insist. Well, okay, if you really won't let this go... I absolutely LOVE Twix bars, and if you got me one of the extra-large ones from the store, that would be the perfect gift."

Yeah, it might not work 100% of the time, but if you really drive the point home that Twix bars (or Diet Coke, or green rubber bands, or whatever) is like THE BEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD to you, maybe they can be diverted to harmless things.
I think that might be a good idea, to offer the person something they CAN do and then if they still persist in trying to do something they should not do, Broomstickcan just write them off and go ahead and be rude because obviously they are just a jerk.

And you are surely right about D'Anconia, too, Ravenman.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:11 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
First, why the fuck should she owe you an answer?

Second, do you read “anaphylactic shock” and just think, “All my experience and expertise of being an Internet jackhole tells me that this is a food aversion - I bet I can crack the case if I just engage in my 9th threadshit of the day!”

Last edited by Ravenman; 04-06-2019 at 08:11 PM.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
The word "allergy" was mentioned in the first paragraph.

And generally a person doesn't go into anaphylactic shock if they are just averse to a particular food.

Are you really that dumb?
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:20 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
Here is a direct quote from the person you are belittling:
Quote:
The last time I trusted someone to cook for me who did not know me well I almost fucking died, getting a fast ambulance ride to the ER in anaphylactic shock.
How about apologizing and/or shutting the fuck up?
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
An allergy or aversion? So the food that put him/her in the hospital could have just been an aversion? Really? That is one powerful aversion.

Lots of people on the internet sure are stupid.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:24 PM
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And yet you'll eat any roadkill Mr Wrekker brings home.
Nooooo! I will butcher it and cook it but I ain't eatin' it. I'm more like Ellie-mae Clampett, I want all them critters for pets.
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:58 PM
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The word "allergy" was mentioned in the first paragraph.
Yes, but was it diagnosed?

The poster in question has a habit of, um, exaggeration.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:04 PM
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Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
There's a difference between an allergy, and an aversion. A lot of people on the internet confuse the two.

I don't know if Broomstick is one of them, that's why I asked.
There are also medical conditions that are not allergies that still make certain foods deadly. And most folks have no clue as to what an allergy actually even is, so most people asking the question aren't equipped to understand the answer.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:05 PM
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The poster in question has a habit of, um, exaggeration.
I know Broomie in real life and I know she's the real deal. So fuck off.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:07 PM
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An allergy or aversion? So the food that put him/her in the hospital could have just been an aversion? Really? That is one powerful aversion.

Lots of people on the internet sure are stupid.
Letís be fair, I think most people have an aversion to death.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:11 PM
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Yes, but was it diagnosed?

The poster in question has a habit of, um, exaggeration.
So what you're trying to say is that you don't think the OP's information is trustworthy, and you decided to indicate that by asking the OP for additional information?

Look, Sherlock, if you don't believe that Broomstick is telling the truth about having been rushed to the ER in anaphylactic shock due to a life-threatening reaction to a particular ingredient, then why would you believe her if she claimed to have been diagnosed with an allergy by a doctor?


Everyone in favor of saving all the tomatoes Broomstick can't eat to throw at D'Anconia for being a muddleheaded spiteful twat, please raise your hand.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:11 PM
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What the hell is it to you? Who are you to ask this question? Why would she lie, for Og's sake? Did you miss the part about ambulances and anaphylactic shock?

I've gone through that a couple of times in my life; fortunately, my allergies are a touch less severe than Broomstick's, and much less broad -- i.e. I'm only allergic to one category of foods that are relatively easy to avoid. Except when someone uses walnuts instead of pine nuts in their pesto because it's cheaper. That was the second time I had to go to the ER.

So what the hell is your problem here?
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Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
What does this have to do with the neighbor violating a clear request? What if she was just told that the OP doesn't like garlic and insists on making food containing garlic?
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Originally Posted by raventhief View Post
Nope the people in the ambulance were random people taken off the street. The whole anaphylaxis thing was simply a guess made by the neighbor's dog walker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ravenman View Post
I'm serious here: have you EVER made a useful contribution to this board? All I ever see from you is two-line drivebys, questions insinuating others are liars, and other blather bereft of content. On the plus side, you tend to keep it short.
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Originally Posted by kambuckta View Post
You really are a vacuous twat aren't you?
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Originally Posted by Kimstu View Post
So what you're trying to say is that you don't think the OP's information is trustworthy, and you decided to indicate that by asking the OP for additional information?

Look, Sherlock, if you don't believe that Broomstick is telling the truth about having been rushed to the ER in anaphylactic shock due to a life-threatening reaction to a particular ingredient, then why would you believe her if she claimed to have been diagnosed with an allergy by a doctor?


Everyone in favor of saving all the tomatoes Broomstick can't eat to throw at D'Anconia for being a muddleheaded spiteful twat, please raise your hand.

Usually it pisses me off when people live-quote this guy (I put him on Ignore for a REASON, folks), but this is hilarious.

Last edited by kaylasdad99; 04-06-2019 at 09:14 PM.
  #36  
Old 04-06-2019, 09:13 PM
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Everyone in favor of saving all the tomatoes Broomstick can't eat to throw at D'Anconia for being a muddleheaded spiteful twat, please raise your hand.
Aye.
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Old 04-06-2019, 09:45 PM
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Everyone in favor of saving all the tomatoes Broomstick can't eat to throw at D'Anconia for being a muddleheaded spiteful twat, please raise your hand.
I would, but I've got lousy aim. I'd probably hit someone I liked, instead.

And like kaylasdad99, I long ago put D'Anconia on Ignore because he's never added anything to my knowledge or understanding of a subject, and he's shown himself to be a real ass, to boot. But today's responses ... ah, the responses.
  #38  
Old 04-06-2019, 10:12 PM
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I know Broomie in real life and I know she's the real deal. So fuck off.
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
  #39  
Old 04-06-2019, 10:29 PM
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She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
You're questioning the honor of The Mercotan? You're a bigger idiot than any of us thought possible.

Last edited by running coach; 04-06-2019 at 10:29 PM.
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Old 04-06-2019, 10:30 PM
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She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
Oh, just fuck off you useless cunt.
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Old 04-06-2019, 10:31 PM
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She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
But you somehow imagine that even if she's "exaggerating" about her dangerous reaction to tomatoes, she will somehow be prevented by your astute questioning from "exaggerating" about her medical diagnosis of said reaction. back atcha.

Personally, I always try to keep in mind two things when participating in an anonymous internet discussion:

1) It's important to resist the temptation to indulge in seemingly harmless and undetectable little embellishments and mythifications about one's personal history, just in the cause of overall truth and accuracy; and

2) It's important to remember that anybody at any time could be lying about anything in their personal history that you have no way of verifying or falsifying. If you can't live with that fundamental uncertainty and just accept people's personal narratives as a working approximation to the truth for the purposes of online conversation, then maybe that conversation is not for you.

Trying to argue with random strangers in the virtual presence of a bunch of other random strangers about the reliability of their autobiographical information, about which you have no way of knowing anything other than what they tell you, doesn't accomplish anything except to make you look stupid.

Last edited by Kimstu; 04-06-2019 at 10:31 PM.
  #42  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
So don't read her posts if they bother you that much! Jesus Christ, I admit, some of Broomstick's stories can be far-fetched, but allergies are pretty fucking common. And either way, even if it IS an aversion, the polite thing to do is when someone asks you NOT to cook for them -- don't do it!

(Some people start lying about allergies because other people won't get the hint.)

Jesus Christ, it seems all you ever do is bitch and accuse people of making shit up. Go somewhere else if you don't like it, jagoff.
  #43  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:27 PM
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God Damn it, it's another episode of the D'Anconia show. Let's see if there's anything else on...

Oh, look, an advertisement for a virus-laden site to download an RPG. And from the looks of it, we might get to see a cartoon hottie take her shirt off!
  #44  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
Eat shit, you fucking troll. Just go the fuck away.

Last edited by Colibri; 04-06-2019 at 11:37 PM.
  #45  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
She's admitted, on this board, that she exaggerates for the purpose of telling stories.
You are really a jerk.
  #46  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D'Anconia View Post
Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?
Have you been medically cleared of being a completely infected asshole douchebag?
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #47  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:49 PM
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I think even Broomstick can agree that while having allergen rich food pressed upon one is bad, dealing with D'Anconia is just so much worse.

Last edited by raventhief; 04-06-2019 at 11:50 PM.
  #48  
Old 04-06-2019, 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted by raventhief View Post
I think even Broomstick can agree that while having allergen rich food pressed upon one is bad, dealing with D'Anconia is just so much worse.
I've broken out in hives. Need...EpiPen....*ch0ke...gurgle*
__________________
It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #49  
Old 04-07-2019, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snfaulkner View Post
I've broken out in hives. Need...EpiPen....*ch0ke...gurgle*
Hey now, I didn't say consuming deadly allergens was worse, merely having someone offer them and refuse to listen. Not having a deadly allergy, I can't conclusively state that D'Asshole is worse than consuming deadly allergens. I also cannot say he's better.
  #50  
Old 04-07-2019, 12:48 AM
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Not to defend D'Asshole, nor to berate Broomie, but...

"It must be organic!"
"No gluten!!!"
"Lactose free!"
"I won't eat processed food"
ASF.

I tend to see that as the beginning of a slippery slope that leads to anti-vaxxers and measles outbreaks. I have friends who have some serious allergies and am myself ridden by a severe, it not life threatening, auto-immune disorder.
But often I hear people in the break room who've tried every diet fad on earth and are picky eaters complain about how they are allergic to gluten or whatever. That way, those with real problems are being taken less seriously.

If you're a picky eater or don't like a particular flavor, say so and own it.


Now - the next asshole that says: "But try cilantro again, you'll grow to like it," will get lutefisk stuffed in their mouth.
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