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  #8851  
Old 05-16-2019, 09:58 AM
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The NRA spends $100,000 a day in legal fees. The poor dears.
  #8852  
Old 05-16-2019, 10:16 AM
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A mother got shot during a Little League game because her son found a gun (that he thought was a toy) and. . .well, you know (or can figure out) the rest. Yup - more "responsible gun owners"!
  #8853  
Old 05-16-2019, 10:24 AM
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The NRA-Working on the overpopulation problem for the last thirty years.
  #8854  
Old 05-19-2019, 05:14 PM
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What do you do when you think an intruder is trying to break into the house? You shoot through the door. So what if it turns out to be your 23 year old daughter that you killed..
https://www.wyff4.com/article/23-yea...s-say/27518642
  #8855  
Old 05-19-2019, 06:59 PM
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Maybe his daughter was leading a gang of home-invaders who ran away after she was shot?
  #8856  
Old 05-20-2019, 04:40 AM
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Maybe his daughter was leading a gang of home-invaders who ran away after she was shot?
Still officially counts as DGU. Tick!
  #8857  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:29 AM
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Two more deaths constitute Positive Gun News, over in the snowflakes' thread.
  #8858  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:37 AM
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Yay! Dead people! #MAGA

I wonder how many DGU were used against a person with a gun? Those should cancel each other out and not count.
  #8859  
Old 05-20-2019, 08:59 AM
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Enter "father accidentally shoots" into Google News for 536,000 hits. (Shoots 6-year old daughter, shoots son, shoots 23-year old daughter, shoots wife, shoots, shoots, shoots.) But that figure is inflated with "father accidentally shoots self" and false Google pattern matching on "5-year old son accidentally shoots father."

Small price to pay. Think of the dozens of muggers who were killed elsewhere while these accidents were going on muggers who would have made off with $30 or $40 if Fearless Fred hadn't shot them dead. Think of the Redcoats who would have been mowed down at the borders if the Brits tried their 1812 adventure again.

And with the price of Viagra so high, think of the rednecks (and the poor Dopers over in the "Guns give me a hard-on" thread) who wouldn't be able to service their women-folk without their virility talisman under the pillow.
  #8860  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by ElvisL1ves View Post
Two more deaths constitute Positive Gun News, over in the snowflakes' thread.
That thread is full of DGU, many of which resulted in deaths. It seems like the idea is to arm everybody, both good guys and bad guys, and then kill the bad guys. Hopefully. I have a hard time finding the positive slant on, "Three people with guns all shoot each other, two die, one critically injured. We think the two dead guys were the bad guys. Can't ask 'em, though."
  #8861  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:20 PM
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Yeah, and if you post something that doesn't conform to some unwritten rule of what is a Positive story, you get banned from the thread.
  #8862  
Old 05-20-2019, 06:21 PM
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What do you do when you think an intruder is trying to break into the house? You shoot through the door. So what if it turns out to be your 23 year old daughter that you killed..
https://www.wyff4.com/article/23-yea...s-say/27518642
Well, he feels bad about it. So he should get a pass.
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  #8863  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:23 PM
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Not negligence, Snowboarder Bo, but rather "Callous Disregard". Also, "totally foreseeable", not "unforeseeable". As I'm fond of saying, this wasn't an accident' it was an inevitable.
Maybe. But another point of view is that we're so lucky these two responsible gun owners didn't immediately return fire against the unseen (and imaginary) shooter.
  #8864  
Old 05-20-2019, 09:58 PM
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DGU? Defensive Gun Use?
  #8865  
Old 05-21-2019, 07:39 AM
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Yes, that's how they manage to call themselves the Good Guys, in what they call "tactical situations".

Quote:
Originally Posted by CookingWithGas View Post
We think the two dead guys were the bad guys. Can't ask 'em, though.
Easy. What's their skin color?

Last edited by ElvisL1ves; 05-21-2019 at 07:40 AM.
  #8866  
Old 05-21-2019, 08:02 AM
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"Three people with guns all shoot each other, two die, one critically injured. We think the two dead guys were the bad guys. Can't ask 'em, though."
Didn't you watch Game of Thrones? Trial by combat, dude. The dead folks are by definition the bad guys (unless they are police).
  #8867  
Old 05-24-2019, 03:50 PM
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Filed under "An Armed Society Is a Polite Society":

An Amazon driver delivered a package to the home of one Kenneth Vance of La Grange, KY. The delivery truck threw some gravel from Vance's driveway (or possibly the street; the article doesn't say). Vance got a gun and forced the driver out of the truck. He then handed the driver a rake and forced him to even out the gravel.

https://www.wave3.com/2019/05/24/man...rake-driveway/

I presume Vance then shot at the driver's feet and ordered him to dance.
  #8868  
Old 05-25-2019, 07:04 AM
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This one's too good not to pass on:
Quote:
Doctors find drugs in rectum of convicted felon being operated on after shooting himself in the groin
...
The 27-year-old’s most recent troubles began April 16 when a gun he kept in his pocket discharged, putting a bullet “through his testicles and into his thigh,” according to the report.

Not wanting to be charged with gun possession, a bleeding Wilson had his girlfriend drive him to a friend’s house, where he allegedly dumped the firearm before going to an area hospital. It’s illegal for a felon to possess a firearm.
  #8869  
Old 05-25-2019, 12:13 PM
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Police did not arrest Wilson at the hospital, opting instead to issue an April 16 warrant for gun and meth possession, which allowed Wilson to turn himself in two days later. When he did so, police reportedly found another bag of marijuana in his rectum during a jailhouse strip search.
Now that's what I call a dedicated recidivist.
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  #8870  
Old 05-25-2019, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Defensive Indifference View Post
Filed under "An Armed Society Is a Polite Society":

An Amazon driver delivered a package to the home of one Kenneth Vance of La Grange, KY. The delivery truck threw some gravel from Vance's driveway (or possibly the street; the article doesn't say). Vance got a gun and forced the driver out of the truck. He then handed the driver a rake and forced him to even out the gravel.

https://www.wave3.com/2019/05/24/man...rake-driveway/

I presume Vance then shot at the driver's feet and ordered him to dance.
How is this not in the "guns make me orgasm" thread?

Guy was just protecting his property.
  #8871  
Old 05-29-2019, 05:53 AM
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The NRA opposes simply educating people about safe gun storage. Maybe one of our local hoplophiles can explain why.

Last edited by ElvisL1ves; 05-29-2019 at 05:54 AM.
  #8872  
Old 05-29-2019, 08:37 AM
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If you educate people about safe gun storage, they might start storing their guns safely. Once that happens, they may realize they don't actually need those guns, and then start lobbying for removing all guns and going out and grabbing all the guns from people simply trying to protect themselves from the thousands upon thousands of home invasions every year.

That's why.
  #8873  
Old 05-29-2019, 09:40 AM
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Video (and write-up) shows campground manager asking black couple leave pinic area, backed by her gun.

Bonus that the guy is National Guard and just returned from overseas.
  #8874  
Old 05-29-2019, 10:15 AM
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Video (and write-up) shows campground manager asking black couple leave pinic area, backed by her gun.

Bonus that the guy is National Guard and just returned from overseas.
How does that woman not get arrested?
  #8875  
Old 05-29-2019, 10:37 AM
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How does that woman not get arrested?
How would the police know about the situation?
  #8876  
Old 05-29-2019, 10:52 AM
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How would the police know about the situation?
By monitoring Stupid Gun news on the SDMB?
  #8877  
Old 05-29-2019, 11:54 AM
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The NRA opposes simply educating people about safe gun storage. Maybe one of our local hoplophiles can explain why.
If they are safely stored, then when the person that they sold it to uses in a crime, they can't use the excuse that it was stolen.
  #8878  
Old 05-30-2019, 09:17 AM
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Video (and write-up) shows campground manager asking black couple leave pinic area, backed by her gun.

Bonus that the guy is National Guard and just returned from overseas.
Glad to see the woman is being careful with her handgun. Nothing secures a firearm better than a pocket on some stretchy shorts. What a dumbfuck.
  #8879  
Old 06-01-2019, 07:04 AM
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How is this not in the "guns make me orgasm" thread?
Certainly this ought to be.
Quote:
A Valrico man has been charged with manslaughter after deputies say foreplay with handgun led to the death of his partner.

Deputies with the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office say the Andrew Shinault, 23, shot a woman, who is also in her 20s, while engaging in an act of foreplay involving his registered handgun.

Deputies tell News Channel 8 the couple knew the gun was loaded and were using the gun for "sexual excitement."
  #8880  
Old 06-01-2019, 07:53 AM
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Oh yeah, btw, there were 12 people killed in Virginia Beach yesterday.
  #8881  
Old 06-01-2019, 09:29 AM
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Oh yeah, btw, there were 12 people killed in Virginia Beach yesterday.
A price the gun cultists are quite willing to pay for the "right" to indulge in their masturbatory Dirty Harry fantasies.
  #8882  
Old 06-01-2019, 12:11 PM
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Oh yeah, btw, there were 12 people killed in Virginia Beach yesterday.
That's really odd. That's the first I've heard of the shooting, but for the last couple of days, youtube has been showing me commercials for Virginia Beach.
  #8883  
Old 06-01-2019, 04:13 PM
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Oh yeah, btw, there were 12 people killed in Virginia Beach yesterday.
Quote:
Originally Posted by k9bfriender View Post
That's really odd. That's the first I've heard of the shooting, but for the last couple of days, youtube has been showing me commercials for Virginia Beach.
Granted, I don't watch or listen to news feeds 24/7, but the first I heard of this was via a friend's Facebook post.

This morning when I turned on the TV, MSNBC and CNN were covering this story extensively. Fox News was talking about how the tariffs would eventually hurt both China and Mexico.
  #8884  
Old 06-01-2019, 11:27 PM
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Oh yeah, btw, there were 12 people killed in Virginia Beach yesterday.
You guys aren't giving nearly enough thoughts and prayers! Up your game, god damn it!!
  #8885  
Old 06-02-2019, 07:14 AM
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They're having real trouble dismissing this guy as something other than a responsible, law-abiding citizen, a professional adult whose guns were legally purchased, because people still got killed who wouldn't have been otherwise. There's no way to define a screen that would have excluded him, since he met every definition of Good Guy With A Gun right up until he wasn't anymore. But, rather than tell us they're rethinking their views, they're just shutting up, the fucking irresponsible cowards.

Oh well, #(PlaceName)Strong, thoughts and prayers, now is not the time either, if only there was something that could be done ... Until next time.
  #8886  
Old 06-02-2019, 11:40 AM
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Originally Posted by ElvisL1ves View Post
They're having real trouble dismissing this guy as something other than a responsible, law-abiding citizen, a professional adult whose guns were legally purchased, because people still got killed who wouldn't have been otherwise. There's no way to define a screen that would have excluded him, since he met every definition of Good Guy With A Gun right up until he wasn't anymore. But, rather than tell us they're rethinking their views, they're just shutting up, the fucking irresponsible cowards.

Oh well, #(PlaceName)Strong, thoughts and prayers, now is not the time either, if only there was something that could be done ... Until next time.
If they did anything that would have prevented this tragedy, then it would mean that they wouldn't get as many toys to play with.

Priorities man, where are your priorities? Would you deny a upstanding white guy the pleasure of being able to use any gun, any time, for any reason, just to prevent the deaths of innocent people?

You monster.
  #8887  
Old 06-02-2019, 11:44 AM
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This guy was actually black. You can tell because the cops killed him. Maybe that's their opening this time.
  #8888  
Old 06-02-2019, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ElvisL1ves View Post
They're having real trouble dismissing this guy as something other than a responsible, law-abiding citizen, a professional adult whose guns were legally purchased,
This must be fake news. Criminals don't use legally purchased guns. Everybody knows that.
  #8889  
Old 06-02-2019, 08:02 PM
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This must be fake news. Criminals don't use legally purchased guns. Everybody knows that.
No person is a criminal until they are.
  #8890  
Old 06-03-2019, 11:45 AM
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But ... but ... we're the Good Guys and they're the Bad Guys! They need killin'!

That's how the moral reasoning seems to work for them.
  #8891  
Old 06-03-2019, 12:06 PM
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You guys aren't giving nearly enough thoughts and prayers! Up your game, god damn it!!
I was watching The Memorial golf tournament yesterday, and when W apologist announcer Jim Nantz started his insipid comments re: Va Beach shooting, I automatically recited Thoughts & Prayers. He immediately crossed me up with Prayers & Thoughts. Very creative, that one.
  #8892  
Old 06-12-2019, 05:39 PM
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NC Elementary Teacher Accidentally Killed By Gun In Purse

Quote:
A Rowan County elementary school teacher was killed while eating at Ruby Tuesday restaurant in Kannapolis Saturday after a handgun inside her purse fired a shot into her abdomen, according to reports.
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  #8893  
Old 06-12-2019, 06:40 PM
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The gun just fired on its own? I guess guns DO kill people!

Last edited by manson1972; 06-12-2019 at 06:40 PM.
  #8894  
Old 06-12-2019, 07:04 PM
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Impossible! Guns can't just go off!!
  #8895  
Old 06-12-2019, 07:20 PM
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Maybe new guns have AI? Seconds count when you are trying to stop a home invasion. Who has time to grab the gun and fire it? Guns that just fire on their own will save thousands of lives a year!
  #8896  
Old 06-13-2019, 03:53 PM
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I would put this in Positive Gun News, since two idiot gun owners shot and killed each other, but I am not allowed to post in that thread anymore:

Marine veteran shot and killed while trying to apologize in road rage encounter

Headline is deceiving because the Marine got out of his car to "apologize", a passenger in the other car pulled out a gun, then the Marine pulled out HIS gun, and they shot and killed each other.

Last edited by manson1972; 06-13-2019 at 03:56 PM.
  #8897  
Old 06-13-2019, 04:13 PM
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I would put this in Positive Gun News, since two idiot gun owners shot and killed each other, but I am not allowed to post in that thread anymore:

Marine veteran shot and killed while trying to apologize in road rage encounter

Headline is deceiving because the Marine got out of his car to "apologize", a passenger in the other car pulled out a gun, then the Marine pulled out HIS gun, and they shot and killed each other.
Good thing there were two good-guys-with-guns there!
  #8898  
Old 06-13-2019, 05:18 PM
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I would put this in Positive Gun News, since two idiot gun owners shot and killed each other, but I am not allowed to post in that thread anymore:

Marine veteran shot and killed while trying to apologize in road rage encounter

Headline is deceiving because the Marine got out of his car to "apologize", a passenger in the other car pulled out a gun, then the Marine pulled out HIS gun, and they shot and killed each other.
Key sentence:
A friend who was on the phone with Byrne at the time said he got out his vehicle at a stoplight to apologize.
Fuck him. He deserved what he got. Fucking hang up and drive.
  #8899  
Old 06-13-2019, 05:30 PM
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I would put this in Positive Gun News, since two idiot gun owners shot and killed each other, but I am not allowed to post in that thread anymore:

Marine veteran shot and killed while trying to apologize in road rage encounter

Headline is deceiving because the Marine got out of his car to "apologize", a passenger in the other car pulled out a gun, then the Marine pulled out HIS gun, and they shot and killed each other.
Who takes a gun to an apology?
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  #8900  
Old 06-13-2019, 09:00 PM
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Good thing there were two good-guys-with-guns there!
By definition, the dead guy is always the bad guy. So, both of them.
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