Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 10-08-2019, 03:44 PM
Wheelz is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,682
I've always liked this one from Mark Chesnutt's country song "Bubba Shot the Jukebox":

Reckless discharge of a gun
That's what the officers are claimin'
Bubba hollered out, "Reckless, hell!
I hit just where I was aimin'!"
  #52  
Old 10-08-2019, 05:33 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,473
Quote:
Originally Posted by squidfood View Post
...Girl
I don't want to find
I'm a little bit wrong
And you're a little bit right...
I always took that as "I don't want to fight".
  #53  
Old 10-08-2019, 05:44 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,473
More John Prine:

She said "Carl, take all the money"
She called everybody Carl


Well, I sat there at the table and I acted real naive
For I knew that topless lady had something up her sleeve


And more Dylan:

Gonna raise me an army, some tough sons of bitches
I'll recruit my army from the orphanages

And I say, "Aw come on now
You know, you know about my debutante"
And she says, "Your debutante just knows what you need
But I know what you want"
  #54  
Old 10-08-2019, 06:24 PM
peccavi's Avatar
peccavi is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: South Bay, SoCal
Posts: 306
This stanza from Leonard Cohen's Everybody Knows always struck me as funny, or at least wry:

Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah, give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows
  #55  
Old 10-08-2019, 06:30 PM
Banksiaman is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,025
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tim R. Mortiss View Post
Elvis Costello has lots of lyrics that are so clever they can count as funny.

....
Too true. Just one of many:

' ... she's last year's model,
They call her Natasha when she looks like Elsie. I don't want go to Chelsea
.'

(I don't want to go to) Chelsea.
  #56  
Old 10-08-2019, 07:09 PM
DrDeth is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: San Jose
Posts: 42,242
Quote:
Originally Posted by xizor View Post
Foreigner put out a greatest hits album that had a live version of "Hot Blooded" on it.
During the song's fade out, the lead singer sings

"I'll make you famous
start on your anus"

The first time I heard that I did the classic 'did I just hear what I thought I heard?'
Not from any cite I can find.
  #57  
Old 10-08-2019, 08:20 PM
EinsteinsHund's Avatar
EinsteinsHund is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NRW, Germany
Posts: 3,076
Two more from Elvis Costello:

Welcome To The Working Week:

Now that your picture's in the paper being rhythmically admired
And you can have anyone that you have ever desired
All you gotta tell me now is why, why, why, why?


The first lines from the first song of his first album.

Brilliant Mistake:

She said that she was working for the ABC News
It was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use


And one from Richard Thompson:

I Feel So Good:

I'm old enough to sin but I'm too young to vote
Society's been dragging on the tail of my coat
Now I've got a suitcase full of fifty pound notes
And a half-naked woman
With her tongue down my throat
__________________
And if my thought-dreams could be seen
They’d probably put my head in a guillotine
  #58  
Old 10-09-2019, 07:32 AM
Sparky812 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Great White North
Posts: 4,677
Quote:
Originally Posted by xizor View Post
Foreigner put out a greatest hits album that had a live version of "Hot Blooded" on it.
During the song's fade out, the lead singer sings

"I'll make you famous
start on your anus"

The first time I heard that I did the classic 'did I just hear what I thought I heard?'
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
Not from any cite I can find.

That's because it's a one of those common misheard lyrics, although xizor has the details a little wrong.

The album is actually Records(1982) which was a compilation of hits from their first four albums which included a live cut of "Hot-Blooded" from a 1978 performance at the Rainbow.

Amazingly, this live concert was just released on DVD in 2019 and the version cited is posted here The lyric in question does not occur during the song's fade out (in fact, there is no fade-out) but at 4:25 you can hear Lou Gramm sing "I'll make you famous...." and pause until he sings the next line.... "I'm far underrated" It's a little hard to hear, but if you turn the volume up it's clear he's not saying "I'll start with your anus" or " a star on Uranus"
  #59  
Old 10-09-2019, 11:14 AM
Wheelz is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,682
Huey Lewis and the News, “Bad Is Bad”:

Across the street, a neon sign
“All you can eat for a dollar ninety-nine
Our soul stew is the baddest in the land”
But, uh, one dollar’s worth was all that I could stand
  #60  
Old 10-09-2019, 12:01 PM
Author Balk is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 147
Another Barenaked Ladies song. Pinch Me

I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'Underwear'
  #61  
Old 10-09-2019, 12:55 PM
Dung Beetle's Avatar
Dung Beetle is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 16,686
More Zevon:
I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar
She asked me if I'd beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don't want to talk about it


It's the delivery on that last line that slays me.


Or Alice Cooper:
I love the dead before they're cold
Their bluing flesh for me to hold
Cadaver eyes upon me see
NOTHING!
  #62  
Old 10-09-2019, 12:59 PM
Dung Beetle's Avatar
Dung Beetle is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Florida
Posts: 16,686
A couple I'm not sure were on purpose:


Scandal, The Warrior
You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically



Sounds slimy


Elton John, Philadelphia Freedom
I like living easy without family ties (living easy)
Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes



I hear that's good luck!
  #63  
Old 10-10-2019, 08:37 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 56,566
Rod Stewart's You're in My Heart has two zingers:

You're Essence and Glamour
(Please pardon the grammar)

&

You're every love song ever written
But honey, what do you see in me?
  #64  
Old 10-10-2019, 12:04 PM
Snake_Plissken is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 109

AC/DC


"....she told me to come
but I was already there."

'You Shook Me All Night Long'
  #65  
Old 10-10-2019, 12:36 PM
Ponch8 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Chicago
Posts: 4,939
The Police's "Synchronicity II" has a couple funny lines.

Another suburban family morning
Grandmother screaming at the wall
We have to shout above the din of our rice crispies

and

Every single meeting with his so-called superior
Is a humiliating kick in the crotch
  #66  
Old 10-10-2019, 02:29 PM
xizor's Avatar
xizor is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 5,512
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky812 View Post
That's because it's a one of those common misheard lyrics, although xizor has the details a little wrong.

The album is actually Records(1982) which was a compilation of hits from their first four albums which included a live cut of "Hot-Blooded" from a 1978 performance at the Rainbow.

Amazingly, this live concert was just released on DVD in 2019 and the version cited is posted here The lyric in question does not occur during the song's fade out (in fact, there is no fade-out) but at 4:25 you can hear Lou Gramm sing "I'll make you famous...." and pause until he sings the next line.... "I'm far underrated" It's a little hard to hear, but if you turn the volume up it's clear he's not saying "I'll start with your anus" or " a star on Uranus"
I stand corrected. I first heard it back in the 80s and never bothered to research it. But now it is no longer funny and is removed for consideration from this thread.
  #67  
Old 10-10-2019, 03:23 PM
Pardel-Lux's Avatar
Pardel-Lux is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Berlin
Posts: 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by mbh View Post
Tom Petty, "Free Fallin' "

She's a good girl, Loves her mama
Loves Jesus, and America, too
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses, and her boyfriend, too

It amused me that horses were a higher priority than the boyfriend.
Yeah, I never dug the gal's inorderly fondness for horses either. Weird, they are. Both horses and gals.
__________________
'Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.' - Charles Darwin.
I am living proof of that.
  #68  
Old 10-10-2019, 04:58 PM
Inigo Montoya's Avatar
Inigo Montoya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: On the level, if inclined
Posts: 16,160
Roland aimed his Thompson gun
He didn't say a word
__________________
Y'all are just too damned serious. Lighten up.
  #69  
Old 10-10-2019, 08:04 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,473
More Elvis:

So there He was on a water-bed,
Drinking a cola of a mystery brand,
Reading an airport novelette,
Listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Requiem.”
He said, before it had really begun,
“I prefer the one about My son.”
—God’s Comic

Dial me a valentine, she's a smooth operator
It's all so calculated, she's got a calculator
She's my soft touch typewriter and I'm her great dictator
—Two Little Hitlers

This is hell, this is hell, this is hell.
"My Favorite Things" are playing
Again and again
But it`s by Julie Andrews
And not by John Coltrane
—This is Hell

Was it a millionaire who said, “Imagine no possessions?”
—The Other Side of Summer

Last edited by Mean Mr. Mustard; 10-10-2019 at 08:04 PM.
  #70  
Old 10-10-2019, 11:02 PM
digs's Avatar
digs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: West of Wauwatosa
Posts: 10,004
Just this afternoon, I downloaded some Dave Clark Five (which I'd recommend to any fans of the Beatles and other Brit Bands of the 60s). When the first verse of the first song, Over and Over, hit me, I thought "I have got to post this to the lyric thread!"

Quote:
Well, I went to a dance just the other night
Everybody there was there.
I said over and over and over again
This dance is gonna be a drag...
Everybody there was there?

I asked an English friend if "there" was old slang for cool or something, and he looked at me like I wasn't all "there"...
  #71  
Old 10-11-2019, 10:01 AM
fjs1fs is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 650
Quote:
Originally Posted by FastDan1 View Post
One could debate as to whether "If I Had A Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies is non-comical, but...

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that's cruel)

Followed later in the song by...

If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars)
Well I'd buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that's cruel)
I agree, the whole song is funny. I like the line (paraphrased):
We wouldn't walk to the store
We'd take a limousine because it costs More!
  #72  
Old 10-11-2019, 02:44 PM
TimfromNapa is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by zamboniracer View Post
Recently I listened to Meat Loaf's "Bat Out of Hell" for the first time in a long time. Out of all of the great tunes on that record (that's how old I am, when it came out it was on a LP Record), I like "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" the best, because it has what for my money is the funniest one-liner in all of music, namely, "Now, I'm praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive." After the huge build-up to that moment, that line just kills me every time.

So what do you Dopers think is the funniest song line? Let's have at it.:-)
On the album version of Jefferson Starship's "Miracales", Marty Balan croons, "I got a taste of the real world when I went down on you girl".

On the B52s first album, the song Hot Lava includes the lyric: "Fire, fire burning bright. Turn on your love lava. Turn on your lava light."
  #73  
Old 10-11-2019, 06:40 PM
Bill0341 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 1

shifting gears stylistically


Black Flag "Six Pack"

my girlfriend asked me which one i liked better
SIX PACK
i hope the answer won't upset her
SIX PACK

Motorhead "Eat the Rich" (lots of bad food metaphors here but the best was...)
shetland pony, extra pepperoni
  #74  
Old 10-11-2019, 09:22 PM
Dickerman is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 453
From Buffett's Margaritaville, referring to his tattoo of a Mexican cutie:

"How it got here I haven't a clue"

Cracks me up every time.

Last edited by Dickerman; 10-11-2019 at 09:24 PM.
  #75  
Old 10-11-2019, 11:01 PM
Haunted Pasta is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 565
The (too-) briefly successful '90's band Toy Matinee, in the song of the same name from the album of the same name, offers up two lines of great wordplay. In one, they contemplate "a fish or a mountain to scale." In the second, they evoke the image of a crowd watching a circus:

"We're so easy to please....please...please,
Pleas from the crowd to go on..."

Another song, "The Ballad of Jenny Ledge," is a lamentation for a beautiful girl the narrator loved, but who left him for "a Vegas king." He knows she ended up regretting going for the rich flashy guy instead of him.

"Now all she has is a king and a pair
And a tear for what might have been."

A king and... a pair. Snicker.
  #76  
Old 10-12-2019, 09:51 AM
MulderMuffin is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2019
Location: Buckle of the bible belt
Posts: 33
The song "Human" by Human League always made me chuckle at the end. Almost the whole song is the male lead singer apologizing for cheating on her while they were away from each other, insisting he's only human, and begging for forgiveness. The last verse is the female singer answering"

I forgive you, now I ask the same of you
While we were apart, I was human too.

I always crack up at that.
  #77  
Old 10-12-2019, 11:25 AM
Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 56,566
Tom Paxton's Saturday Night is not considered a serious song. However, the first two choruses start:

Mary & Eddie are busy indeed
Making up for lost time in the rear.

The third chorus goes:

Mary & Eddie are being arrested
For making up time in the rear.

Trying not laughing at that.

And Paxton's Jesus Christ SRO, after singing the praises of Jesus starring in a Broadway show very tongue in check, ends:

Jesus, you're really the toast of Broadway
And what a proper superstar you look.
A golden oldie, a blast from the past.
It's great to see you've come back at last.
And some day I just have to read the book.
  #78  
Old 10-12-2019, 12:03 PM
lissener is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Chicago
Posts: 17,211
"Now I have to get up off my knees because I have some shopping to do."

Diamanda Galás
"Do You Take This Man?"

"Men are animals. But you have to capture one to protect you from all the rest."
Jo Carol Pierce
https://features.texasmonthly.com/ed...girls-get-old/

Sent from my LG-M150 using Tapatalk
__________________
bit.ly/charleydarbo
  #79  
Old 10-13-2019, 11:13 AM
Sir Prize is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,132
Simon & Garfunkel
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia
Up in my bedroom (making love)
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed someone's taken my place
Cecilia, you're breaking my heart
  #80  
Old 10-13-2019, 12:15 PM
Guest-starring: Id!'s Avatar
Guest-starring: Id! is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 4,212
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill0341 View Post
Black Flag "Six Pack"

my girlfriend asked me which one i liked better
SIX PACK
i hope the answer won't upset her
SIX PACK

Motorhead "Eat the Rich" (lots of bad food metaphors here but the best was...)
shetland pony, extra pepperoni
For Black Flag, I'll go with:

See if you can find the key to your mother’s liquor cabinet ("Thirsty and Miserable")

The "Eat the Rich" bad food metaphor I preferred:

Sittin' here in a hired tuxedo,
You wanna see my bacon torpedo!...


(not sure how much of a non-comical song ETR is, though. The title and its sentiments may have noble intentions, but the lyrics...)

In Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love?", they cop some beer ad copy with "It's got what it takes".

For unintentionally funny song titles, there's John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland".
  #81  
Old 10-13-2019, 05:12 PM
jaycat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guest-starring: Id! View Post

For unintentionally funny song titles, there's John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland".
Especially when you consider that Wonderland is where they used to have the dog races (in Boston).
  #82  
Old 10-13-2019, 05:23 PM
Johnny Ecks is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 458
They might be giants does a lot of wordplay. Rhythm Section Want Ad from their first album made me chuckle with this:
“Speak softly, drive a Sherman tank,
Laugh hard, it’s a long way to the bank”
  #83  
Old 10-14-2019, 12:25 AM
echoreply's Avatar
echoreply is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Boulder, CO
Posts: 901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoeless View Post
"Here's to the Halcyon" by Old 97s is a song about a man who's boat has sunk and he's bargaining with God to save his life, including giving up booze if he survives.

I'll prove to you a sinning man can turn his back on sin
Give me some fresh water, Lord, I'll never drink again

Old 97s have lots of clever lyrics. In Designs on You, where the singer is trying to convince an engaged woman to cheat with him, he says, "I won't tell a soul except the people in the nightclub where I sing."
  #84  
Old 10-14-2019, 02:24 AM
Fugazi is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Denver
Posts: 1,374
Yet another from The Barenaked Ladies the song One Week

Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
__________________
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams
  #85  
Old 10-14-2019, 04:41 AM
Mean Mr. Mustard's Avatar
Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 11,473
From "Love Interruption" by Jack White:

I want love to, roll me over slowly
Stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around.
I want love to, grab my fingers gently
Slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground.

Last edited by Mean Mr. Mustard; 10-14-2019 at 04:41 AM.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:19 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright © 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017