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Old 09-13-2019, 11:17 AM
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What job would Jeff Goldblum be doing if he wasn't an actor?


I saw a comment on Reddit yesterday with the (slightly) facetious thought that when Jeff Goldblum plays the eccentric character "The Grandmaster" in Thor Ragnarok, he is essentially just playing Jeff Goldblum.

This is not an entirely original idea, that Jeff, in so many words, is a pretty weird guy and that he is not too different from the characters he plays.

That made me think. If Jeff was not an actor, and was just a normal guy, what 9-5 day job do you see him in?
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:30 AM
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Maybe a musician.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:40 AM
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He's pretty adaptable, as for making a life for himself? he'd find a way.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Walken After Midnight View Post
Maybe a musician.
As quoted in this NPR article about him, and his jazz piano side career:

Quote:
"I'm from Pittsburgh, and I played piano when I was a kid," Goldblum says before a recent performance. "I got the idea to play out and about in cocktail lounges when I was, like, 15, and got a job or two."
Also, I agree with the OP that, no matter what character he's playing on screen Jeff Goldblum pretty much just plays Jeff Goldblum (or, at least, the public Jeff Goldblum persona) these days.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:42 AM
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:42 AM
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He's pretty adaptable, as for making a life for himself? he'd find a way.
Funny.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:43 AM
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He'd definitely be in sales.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:47 AM
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He'd be managing his wife Geena's professional archery career.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:51 AM
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Entomology?
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:51 AM
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The thing that makes me weird (yeah, the one and only thing) is that I've thought about this in the past. I see him as a college professor. Philosophy or Dead Language Teacher. He's also kinda pervy with the female students but a lot of them dig it.
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Old 09-13-2019, 11:53 AM
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Yeah, he'd be that HS teacher who thought of himself as cool and with it, and the students knew him as that weird perv who teaches biology.
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Old 09-13-2019, 12:42 PM
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Hard to say. He moved to New York at 17 to become an actor, so he never really trained to do anything else. I could see him in radio. His mother was a radio broadcaster in the 60s I think.
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Old 09-13-2019, 12:58 PM
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Fashion designer.
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:24 PM
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Aerospace engineer.
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Old 09-13-2019, 02:30 PM
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I'm sure he would have tried to become a professional musician, although I don't really know how talented he is.

If not that:

Educator
Salesman
Some kind of agent (literary/showbiz/who knows?)
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Old 09-13-2019, 03:13 PM
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He's played piano on several shows (as well as in Earth Girls are Easy). He appears to be pretty good. and, of course, he's comfortable as an actor, so he'd be a good entertainer. How successful he'd be, I have no idea -- it's a competitive world out there.
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Last edited by CalMeacham; 09-13-2019 at 03:13 PM.
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Old 09-13-2019, 03:15 PM
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Old 09-13-2019, 05:24 PM
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I'm thinking Jeff G emanates a very strong but ill-defined, bit-of-money's-coming-in-but-do-we -really-want-to-know-where vibe, essentially like Kramer. I'm not sure which I'd prefer rooting through my cereal cupboard.

On the retail sale front, he did a fantastic turn in Portlandia selling gift wares. I could see him building on that.
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Old 09-14-2019, 12:34 AM
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Fashion designer. Check out his instagram for some...interesting fashion statements,
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Old 09-14-2019, 01:45 AM
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He'd be managing his wife Geena's professional archery career.
Yes. Well. Yes...uhm. Yes....well ex. yes ex wife..uhh.several wives ago. Yes in fact.

Last edited by Dale Sams; 09-14-2019 at 01:46 AM.
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Old 09-14-2019, 03:21 AM
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On the retail sale front, he did a fantastic turn in Portlandia selling gift wares. I could see him building on that.
Furniture sales.
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Old 09-16-2019, 09:46 AM
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I love him! I just love listening to him speak. His interview is hilarious on Conan O'Brien's podcast. He was also good on WTF with Marc Maron.

Being a teacher or professor would fit him to a tee.
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Old 09-16-2019, 10:03 AM
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Am I the only one who thinks he tries a little too hard to be Quirky Guy?
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Old 09-16-2019, 11:26 AM
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Am I the only one who thinks he tries a little too hard to be Quirky Guy?
Nah, he gets under my skin sometimes, too. He feels like he'd be insufferable to be in a room with. He's like an aging man doing a bad impression of Zooey Deschanel. A weird midpoint between sleepy and zany. Like if the Dodo from Wackyland took some Valium and read too much Malcolm Gladwell.

But...I thought he was fantastic in Ragnarok, largely because he wasn't SUPPOSED to be likeable. And I've seen the occasional interview bits where he seems to be less obnoxious and more pleasantly goofy.
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Old 09-16-2019, 02:35 PM
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Old 09-16-2019, 02:40 PM
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Saw Jeff Goodblum at Ronnie Scott’s and he was fantastic.
If he hadn’t become an actor I’d say he would’ve been a pretty successful musician.
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Old 09-16-2019, 07:02 PM
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Barber. He can go on and on without input from the other person.
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Old 09-17-2019, 12:13 AM
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Old 09-18-2019, 08:51 AM
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Knot sales.
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