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Old 02-13-2020, 01:40 PM
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Bored of the Rings


Anyone else here ever read the 1969 Harvard Lampoon parody? I last read it as a teen around 40 years ago and thought it was gut-splitting funny back then. I wonder how well this parody has aged. When did you last read it?
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Old 02-13-2020, 01:47 PM
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It hasn't aged well, IMO. But then neither have I.
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Old 02-13-2020, 01:53 PM
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Two years ago. I still love it.

"Tim, Tim, Benzedrine!
Hash, boo, valvoline
Clean, clean, clean for Gene
First, second, neutral, park!
Hie thee hence you leafy narc!"
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Old 02-13-2020, 01:59 PM
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:05 PM
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I still have a copy, I'm pretty sure. I haven't read it since sometime in the late 80s. First read it either 79 or 80. I think silenus summed it up perfectly.

Dirty Scrabble jokes, Tim Benzedrino the dirty hippy and Arrowroot pining for the blonde viking lady Ear Ache. Notably Bored of the Rings was written by the creator of Animal House & Caddy Shack.

I think that is about all I recall.
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:07 PM
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“...and several bowls of artificial fruit which couldn't have been mistaken for the real thing at fifty meters. These Pepsi and Moxie immediately ate.”
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:15 PM
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I still own my copy that I bought nearly 40 years ago. It's kind of funny but also kind of a slog at times, just like it was 40 years ago.

Last edited by Snowboarder Bo; 02-13-2020 at 02:15 PM.
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:20 PM
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I still have a 30ish year old copy as well. I reread it every 5 years or so. Usually as a break when I'm rereading LOTR.

"most boggie villages looked as though some very large and untidy creature, perhaps a dragon, had quite recently suffered a series of disappointing bowel movements in the vicinity."
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:41 PM
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"Five nine is your height and 180's your weight
You'll cash in your chips around page 88."

A classic. Haven't read it in awhile (I lost two copies of it), but it was the one thing that got me to slog through the trilogy, so i could appreciate it better.
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:49 PM
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We boggies are a hairy folk
who like to eat until we choke
loving all like friend and brother
hardly ever eat each other
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:55 PM
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Twas pity stayed his hand. "It's a pity I've run out of bullets"
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Old 02-13-2020, 02:58 PM
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Twas pity stayed his hand. "It's a pity I've run out of bullets"
Possibly the best line in all of literature.
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Old 02-13-2020, 03:10 PM
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I've read it a couple of times.
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Old 02-13-2020, 03:12 PM
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For me it's nostalgic, associated with when and where I first read it in 1980. I overlook its flaws with fondness.

For a new reader I don't think it would hold up well at all - too many outdated proprietary names and topical jokes and weak puns. It might have pleased us in comparison with a fat original text, but for someone who had seen the Peter Jackson films?
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Old 02-13-2020, 03:43 PM
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Twas pity stayed his hand. "It's a pity I've run out of bullets"
Quote:
Originally Posted by beowulff View Post
Possibly the best line in all of literature.
Beat me to it.
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:01 PM
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We've discussed it many times on this Board. I own two copies (with the original cover), first read it in 1970, and have chunks of it memorized.
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:05 PM
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[Paraphrase]Frito wondered how long the writers were going to get away with this tripe.

He wasn't the only one.[/Paraphrase]
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:12 PM
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I'm sure I'm misquoting here...

"Boogies are a solitary folk, who do not like machines more complicated than a garrote or a Luger.."
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:27 PM
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At my daughter's wedding, she had Bilbo's poem read:
“I sit beside the fire and think
Of all that I have seen
Of meadow flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been"
Lovely.



What's going through *my* head?
"I sit on the floor and pick my nose
and think of dirty things
Of deviant dwarves who suck their toes
and elves who drub their dings."

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Old 02-13-2020, 04:29 PM
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I read it like 45 years ago and didn't think it was terribly funny then.
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:40 PM
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I still believe they read Fellowship, skimmed Two Towers, and had someone tell them what happened in Return of the King.
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  #22  
Old 02-13-2020, 04:45 PM
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Mad's parody was pretty good

At Bree:

"I've got the Ring the others haven't got,
I've got the Ring that puts me on the spot,
I've got the Ring without it there's no plot,
I am Frodo and I've got the Ring"
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Old 02-13-2020, 04:57 PM
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I read it like 45 years ago and didn't think it was terribly funny then.
It was more like 30 years ago for me, but yeah, it failed to make a (positive) impression on me. Good satire is hard and this wasn't very good. It had a couple of moments (Even I must admit that "A pity I've run out of bullets." is pretty good) but overall...yuk.
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Old 02-13-2020, 05:22 PM
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As Gimlet offers Frito his hand to shake, Frito thinks:

It must be a hand. It's on the end of his arm.
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Old 02-13-2020, 05:25 PM
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I found it hilarious. 40 years ago.
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Old 02-13-2020, 05:36 PM
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Quote:
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Mad's parody was pretty good

At Bree:

"I've got the Ring the others haven't got,
I've got the Ring that puts me on the spot,
I've got the Ring without it there's no plot,
I am Frodo and I've got the Ring"
My favorite:
(To the tune of Sounds of Silence)
"And the rottenness that was planted in my brain will remain
Til I gets back.....my precious!"

And as to the OP, I started BOTR some years ago, but found it sophomoric and, well, boring, so I only made it about halfway through.
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Old 02-13-2020, 06:17 PM
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I found it hilarious. 40 years ago.
I still found it very funny last time I read it, probably ten years ago.
I gave it to Mrs. Plant (v.3.0), Girlfriend (v?) back then, and it inspired her to read Lord of the Rings. What the hell is this thing about?
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Old 02-13-2020, 06:33 PM
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I found it tedious and juvenile, but I was about 35 when I first read it.
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Old 02-13-2020, 10:40 PM
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I read it in college, back in the 1970's. I hadn't read it again until last year, when I read some sections out to my grandson (who enjoyed the LOTR movies and then read the books). I figured it would seem too dated to him, but he was ROFLMAO. He's 18.

Last edited by Prof. Pepperwinkle; 02-13-2020 at 10:40 PM.
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Old 02-14-2020, 12:17 AM
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Honi soit la vache qui rit. Also, every once in a while I'll randomly think "Minas Troney in the Soup."
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Old 02-14-2020, 02:23 AM
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“This is indeed a queer river,” said Bromosel, as the water lapped at his thighs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Peoples of the West! The battle before the Black Gate of Sorhed will be one of few against many; but the few are of pure heart and the many are of the filthy. Nevertheless, those of you who wish to cringe and run from the fight may do so to quicken our pace. Those who still ride with the King of Twodor will live forever in song and legend! The rest may go.”

It is said that the dust cloud did not settle for many days after.
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:02 AM
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As Gimlet offers Frito his hand to shake, Frito thinks:

It must be a hand. It's on the end of his arm.
"May your hemorrhoids shrink without surgery."
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:04 AM
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They climbed and climbed for what seemed like an hour. An hour later they reached the top.
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Old 02-14-2020, 10:03 AM
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Both mrAru and I have read it. Sophomoric in areas, dull and boring in areas and bright sparks of hilarity. You have to be up on the real trilogy and the hobbit, and have a basic understanding of a lot of stuff from the 60s and 70s, and hollywood to get many of the jokes. Not something we would normally recommend people, but for people who are able to understand the jokes, it can be an interesting read.
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:26 PM
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I first read fthis as a teen devastated at reading the end of the trilogy. I’ll always love it for lifting me out of that funk.
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:31 PM
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I first read fthis as a teen devastated at reading the end of the trilogy. I’ll always love it for lifting me out of that funk.
I was lucky, when I finished LotR, I was talking to my sister & BIL about it and he had the Silmarillion. This was back in 1976. Then I just started pouring through the Fantasy shelves of the school's library.
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Old 02-15-2020, 06:41 PM
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The monster was a huge Thesaurus, with long, dangling participles.

"Eat," it said. "See 'devour'." "Ref: maim..."



(Sorry, that's only a quote from memory. I have the book here, but couldn't find the passage.)

Last edited by Musicat; 02-15-2020 at 06:41 PM.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:17 PM
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I was lucky, when I finished LotR, I was talking to my sister & BIL about it and he had the Silmarillion. This was back in 1976. Then I just started pouring through the Fantasy shelves of the school's library.
The Silmarillion came out in 1977
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:18 PM
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The Silmarillion came out in 1977
Yep, I got the year wrong, I read the LotR in 1977, not 1976.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:19 PM
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Yep, I got the year wrong, I read the LotR in 1977, not 1976.
Same as me. Inspired by the Rankin-Bass Hobbit in 1977? I was. I read the Hobbit, LOTR, The Silmarillion and The Tolkien Companion http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/The_Tolkien_Companion all in that year.

Last edited by Andy L; 02-15-2020 at 07:24 PM.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:22 PM
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I've read it many times, and it always cracks my ass up. When I'm watching the movies and Gandalf tells Frodo how "pity stayed his hand," I always lose it. I suspect millennials might not get the product name references and that would diminish it a bit for them. The rest of the humor seems pretty timeless, though.

We had a thread here many years ago where we tried to cast the movie version of BOTR. Might be time to try that again!
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:23 PM
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"As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, "Villanova." "Aiyee," shouted Legolam. "A ballhog!""

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 02-15-2020 at 07:25 PM.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:24 PM
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Same as me. Inspired by the Rankin-Bass Hobbit in 1977? I was.
I think I had just finished the Hobbit in time for that. I feel like I read the Hobbit in September, maybe into October and was reading the LotR when The Hobbit aired. I also got into D&D right in the time period. I ripped through the Prydain Chronicles before Christmas also. My reading speed wasn't all that fast back then, I had jumped from a below grade reader to 12th grade level in that school year. Thanks to Tolkien & Heinlein especially.
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Old 02-15-2020, 07:28 PM
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I think I had just finished the Hobbit in time for that. I feel like I read the Hobbit in September, maybe into October and was reading the LotR when The Hobbit aired. I also got into D&D right in the time period. I ripped through the Prydain Chronicles before Christmas also. My reading speed wasn't all that fast back then, I had jumped from a below grade reader to 12th grade level in that school year. Thanks to Tolkien & Heinlein especially.
I read Prydain around the same time and The Dark is Rising series (I had to wait for the last one because it wasn't published yet when I finished the next-to-last one) and the Narnia books, too, as well as a fair amount of Asimov, Anderson and Heinlein. Twas a good year.
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:00 PM
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"As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, "Villanova." "Aiyee," shouted Legolam. "A ballhog!""
I seem to recall the line "dribble, dribble..." was followed by "pass, missed basket, dribble..."
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:12 PM
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By coincidence I recently acquired a copy, having lost my original decades ago. The pop culture reference are, of course, extremely dated. The humor is, as others have noted, sophomoric. (Hey, I read it as a sophomore . ) But it's amusing enough.
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:24 PM
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I seem to recall the line "dribble, dribble..." was followed by "pass, missed basket, dribble..."
Lengthy discussion of the ballhog scene http://newboards.theonering.net/foru...guest=26481648
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Old 02-15-2020, 10:17 PM
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I was actually at Villanova when I read it, and found that line hilarious just for how dated it was. At the time, the star of our team (Kerry Kittles) was remarkable for just how much of a team player he was, while the worst Balhog in the NCAA was at our archrival Georgetown (it turned out that they actually played better when Iverson was benched).
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Old 02-16-2020, 08:49 AM
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An excerpt from The Lay of Nimrodel, BOTR version. Full poem in the link.
Quote:
An elven-mail there was of old,
A stenographer by day;
Her hair was fake, her teeth were gold,
Her sent was that of cheep sachet.

She thought that art was really 'keen',
The top ten she could hum;
Her eyes were full of Maybelline,
Her mouth, of chewing gum.

Her head was full of men and clothes,
Her hair, of rattled curls;
Her legs she wrapped in fine Sup-Hose,
For nights out with the girls.

She met one morn an elvin-lad,
Who took her to the fights,
And said he owned a spacious pad,
And went to law school nights.

Last edited by Qadgop the Mercotan; 02-16-2020 at 08:50 AM.
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Old 02-16-2020, 09:12 AM
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I remember reading it while working at a summer job in a paper mill somewhere around 1984. Someone had left it behind so I picked it up. I'd never read any Tolkien, though I was a little familiar with the lore, and I remember thinking it was hilarious. It probably had something to do with being eighteen years old and reading a book whose main character was named "Dildo".
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