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  #651  
Old 09-09-2009, 07:51 PM
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Originally Posted by jayjay View Post
Imagine a pirate's eyepatch. Now imagine that eyepatch connected to three strings. Now imagine that that little eyepatch is the only thing covering up some woman's crotchal area.
Is she hot?
  #652  
Old 09-09-2009, 07:55 PM
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Lobbipop lobbipop
Oh lobbi lobbi lobbi
Lobbipop lobbipop.....
  #653  
Old 09-09-2009, 08:47 PM
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Apparently Congressman Joe Wilson (R-SC) was the one who shouted out "You lie" during the president's speech.
  #654  
Old 09-10-2009, 02:23 PM
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http://thinkprogress.org/2009/05/22/steele-obama-race/
Poochie strikes again!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Steele, R-czar
He was not vetted, because the press fell in love with the black man running for the office. “Oh gee, wouldn’t it be neat to do that? Gee, wouldn’t it make all of our liberal guilt just go away? We can continue to ride around in our limousines and feel so lucky to live in an America with a black president.”
Limousines? What the... Well, thank you for that window onto your own life, Poochie.
  #655  
Old 09-10-2009, 02:38 PM
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That man wouldn't know irony if it humped him from behind with a brass band playing.
  #656  
Old 09-10-2009, 02:51 PM
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The Mike Duvall trainwreck gets even uglier. Now he's saying that despite what he said, he's not cheating on his wife. And isn't cheating on his mistress, either. Which he doesn't have in the first place, because he's not having an affair.

And if you believe that, I have a copy of OJ's "If I Did It" to sell you.
  #657  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Some Doofus
He was not vetted, because the press fell in love with the black man running for the office. “Oh gee, wouldn’t it be neat to do that? Gee, wouldn’t it make all of our liberal guilt just go away? We can continue to ride around in our limousines and feel so lucky to live in an America with a black president.”
Hey! I never got a limousine! The only time I've ever even ridden in one was at my mom's funeral. When the fuck do I get my limousine?!?
  #658  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:29 PM
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I'd say that bringing handmade signs, birther letters, and yelling "Liar!" at a Presidential address to Congress counts as a pretty stupid idea of the day.
It also counts as the entirety of the GOP party platform.
  #659  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:35 PM
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Hey! I never got a limousine! The only time I've ever even ridden in one was at my mom's funeral. When the fuck do I get my limousine?!?

Under the new health care system, the death panel will kill your mom. But it's far superior to other Soviet health care plans in that you don't get charged for the bullet, and the funeral limo is reimbursible.

Get yourself adopted and you can ride to your new mom's funeral on the government's dime.
  #660  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:40 PM
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Obama wasn't vetted? There's chilling overtones of beware unpatriotic thoughts! His supporters know there's a load of racists out there looking for any excuse (Not all of them Republicans: Hillary can put up a dirty fight when she wants to) and the Rebuplicans have shifted so far the raving right that they'd question Joe McCarthy's patriotism.

Their guy comes from the least American of the states way out in the Pacific with more links there than to the mainland. Both his father and stepfather are foreign, he has spent part of his childhood at school under a dictator who was no great friend of the USA and he bears a Muslim name.

So they didn't bother to make sure he was so squeaky clean that detergent would dirty him Really
  #661  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:47 PM
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Michael Steele's diet for the last eight or nine months has consisted largely of shoeleather. Isn't he the one who bussed in Philadelphia street bums to pretend to be Baltimore street bums and hand out his campaign literature on election day back in 2006?
  #662  
Old 09-10-2009, 03:48 PM
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His posse. Totally different.
  #663  
Old 09-10-2009, 05:50 PM
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Limousines? What the... Well, thank you for that window onto your own life, Poochie.
Well, let's not forget that the Republicans characterized that particular black man as the candidate who was a country club-attending snob during the campaign, presumably getting their talking points from Bizarro World.
  #664  
Old 09-11-2009, 07:15 PM
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I don't know if this is the right thread for this. It's too minor to merit its own thread but too funny to pass up entirely.

Newt Gingrich's 537 organization, American Solutions for Winning the Future (ASWF), apparently gives out Entrepreneur of the Year awards to a deserving businessperson from each of the 50 states. This year, the worthy recipient from Arizona was Allison Vivas. Don't know her? You guys in the back are just pretending not to know her, aren't you? All right, if I have to: she's the president of the porn studio Pink Visual. She was invited to an "intimate dinner" with Gingrich, where he planned to solicit her opinion on Cap and Trade and Obama's tax policies.

ASWF is claiming that they sent her the letter in error. Which is almost certainly true.

The best part, for me, is that the award -- had Vivas received it -- is a replica Speaker's gavel, signed by Gingrich. Vivas "said in her release that the gavel would 'make for a pretty cool prop for a Couples Seduce Teens episode.'"

Last edited by Defensive Indifference; 09-11-2009 at 07:17 PM.
  #665  
Old 09-11-2009, 11:08 PM
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Originally Posted by Algher View Post
If I thought they were being legit (which I do NOT):
1) Fight to keep the nepotism laws in effect
2) Reaction to Hillary's secret health care committee

In reality, it is partisan politics - but there is an argument that if the First Lady is going to be involved in running things, there should be some types of controls in place.
The President of the United States needs Senate confirmation for official positions but he has never needed Senate approval for personal advisors.
  #666  
Old 09-11-2009, 11:12 PM
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...Pink Visual....
And nobody even blinked.
  #667  
Old 09-12-2009, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Punoqllads View Post
The Mike Duvall trainwreck gets even uglier. Now he's saying that despite what he said, he's not cheating on his wife. And isn't cheating on his mistress, either. Which he doesn't have in the first place, because he's not having an affair.

And if you believe that, I have a copy of OJ's "If I Did It" to sell you.
If the "glove" fits . . .
  #668  
Old 09-21-2009, 12:43 PM
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All pornography is homosexual pornography. because it makes you have sex with yourself! Get it?

Unlike all the other republican ideas in this thread, this sort of makes stupid sense. So all you jack-offs who read this-- you're GAY!
  #669  
Old 09-21-2009, 12:59 PM
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What! I can't afford new clothes!
  #670  
Old 09-21-2009, 01:37 PM
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So, porn is an evil plot to make me gay?

Why would people want me to be gay?
  #671  
Old 09-21-2009, 02:16 PM
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Sounds a lot like, "methinks he doth protest too much."

Are we sure there wasn't a, "I sure wish that ..." that was lopped of the beginning of that quote?

Last edited by Jack Batty; 09-21-2009 at 02:17 PM.
  #672  
Old 09-21-2009, 03:54 PM
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So all you jack-offs who read this-- you're GAY!
Shhh, don't tell my husband.
  #673  
Old 09-21-2009, 06:15 PM
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All pornography is homosexual pornography. because it makes you have sex with yourself! Get it?
From the linked article:
Quote:
[Michael] Schwartz told the crowd about Jim Johnson, a friend of his who turned an old hotel into a hospice for gay men dying of AIDS. “One of the things he said to me,” said Schwartz, “that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark… he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”
There were murmurs and gasps from the crowd. “Now, think about that,” said Schwartz. “And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants! You know, that’s a good comment, it’s a good point, and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”
Back in the day, I bet there were a lot of teenage boys who, upon discovering their palms didn't start growing hair, began wondering what other bullshit things their parents were telling them.

This plan is fail proof!
  #674  
Old 09-21-2009, 08:12 PM
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I am trying to picture this guy reading portions of The Time Traveler's Wife.
  #675  
Old 09-21-2009, 09:55 PM
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There were murmurs and gasps from the crowd
This right here tells you all you need to know about the intellect of the crowd. What they should've been saying is "What the fuck?"
  #676  
Old 09-23-2009, 03:41 PM
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Apparently, Newt Gingrich sees himself as the new outreach ambassador to the Hispanic community.

One itsy-bitsy problem, though:
Quote:
It was, after all, the former House Speaker who, in giving a speech to a Republican group in 2007, described bilingual education as teaching "the language of living in a ghetto." He's also mocked the idea of printing government documents in anything but English, and promoted English-only measures.

In 1995, Gingrich said bilingualism poses "long-term dangers to the fabric of our nation" and that "allowing bilingualism to continue to grow is very dangerous."

And earlier this year, it was Gingrich who blasted Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor as a "racist," who should be "forced to withdraw" from consideration for the high court. He added that Sotomayor had to be rejected "if Civil War, suffrage, and Civil Rights are to mean anything."

But now that Republicans are worried about losing the Latino vote for the indefinite future, Gingrich is going to help bring the GOP message to the Latino community? Good luck with that.
D'oh!
  #677  
Old 09-23-2009, 04:10 PM
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It's not so stupid. He'll just outreach by SPEAAAAKING SLOOOWLY AND IN A LOUUUUD VOIIICE. And offer them glass beads, tinware and trinkets in exchange for votes.
  #678  
Old 09-23-2009, 04:17 PM
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What, no blankets?
  #679  
Old 09-23-2009, 04:22 PM
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The blankets are cursed.
  #680  
Old 09-23-2009, 04:51 PM
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Cursed with smallpox?
  #681  
Old 09-23-2009, 07:20 PM
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Yes. Damn Hispanics and their casinos!
  #682  
Old 09-23-2009, 07:46 PM
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Cursed with smallpox?
Yes, but it comes with a free Frogurt.
  #683  
Old 09-23-2009, 07:53 PM
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Yes, but it comes with a free Frogurt.
You can take your cursed frogurt, choice of toppings, and potassium benzoate and shove 'em.
  #684  
Old 09-23-2009, 10:02 PM
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It's not so stupid. He'll just outreach by SPEAAAAKING SLOOOWLY AND IN A LOUUUUD VOIIICE. And offer them glass beads, tinware and trinkets in exchange for votes.
And constantly refer to Hispanics as "you people". I hear they REALLY like that.
  #685  
Old 09-24-2009, 12:59 AM
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I haven't been paying too much attention to Stupid Republicans, but I just came across two more.

Jim "We could learn a LOT from the Taliban!" DeMint, the Crazy that Keeps On Giving:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dumbass
DEMINT: The problem is, the war in Afghanistan and our economy are our two biggest issues. But he’s working on other issues such as health care and he’s putting off the decision on Afghanistan which I think puts our troops at risk. So he needs to focus on priorities right now and not try to ram so many things down our throat here in Congress. He needs to address the issue of Afghanistan quickly.
and Rep. Steve 'Who?" King (Iowa) who opined that:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Another Dumbass
The quote in full:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Really, seriously a dumbass
So in the end this is something that has to come with a, if there's a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together, living collectively off of one pot of resources earned by everyone. That is, this is one of the goals they have to go to is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation. They want access to public funds and resources. Eventually all those resources will be pooled because that's the direction we're going. And not only is it a radical social idea, it is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis.
  #686  
Old 09-24-2009, 07:21 AM
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And constantly refer to Hispanics as "you people". I hear they REALLY like that.

When he's talking to his buddies, it will be "those people".
  #687  
Old 09-24-2009, 04:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Really, seriously a dumbass
So in the end this is something that has to come with a, if there's a push for a socialist society, a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together, living collectively off of one pot of resources earned by everyone. That is, this is one of the goals they have to go to is same-sex marriage because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation. They want access to public funds and resources. Eventually all those resources will be pooled because that's the direction we're going. And not only is it a radical social idea, it is a purely socialist concept in the final analysis.
So, what, he's saying there was actual analysis involved in this patchwork of, uhm . . . ideas?

Last edited by descamisado; 09-24-2009 at 04:29 PM.
  #688  
Old 09-24-2009, 08:58 PM
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Jeez, I don't know what he's trying to say. It's pretty much gibberish to me. I did like the part about "a society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined" though. Apparently same-sex marriage undermines individual rights and liberties, but bigoted laws and attitudes don't. I guess. Or something.

It must be some sort of reaction to the recent poll that 92% of the people in his state said that same-sex marriage hasn't affected them. I guess. Or something.
  #689  
Old 09-25-2009, 04:34 AM
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Remember this?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright
Quote:
Originally Posted by legalsnugs
Does the stupid idea have to come from a federal Republican? If not, here's my contribution.
Cynthia Davis just won the thread.
(I changed legalsnugs's link because the original one was dead)

Cynthia's at it again. In fact, she's even MORE stupid this time. We have Double Stupid here.

First, I just found out that she's a Birther and went to California recently to lend moral support to fellow nutbag Oily Titz.

Says Davis: "I'm here to help the cause!"

Second, we can all rest easy because according to Davis, racism is dead! Hooray!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kookoo lady
"Racism may have affected some people decades ago, but now that we are in a new millennium, the only people trying to perpetuate racism are people who are still trying to live in the past or those who are intentionally trying to stir up unrest," Davis writes.
That blog is hilarious. My husband and I met through that paper (The Pitch), so I have a particular soft spot for it.
  #690  
Old 09-25-2009, 08:18 AM
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Well, if the children get hungry enough there won't be any racism.

...
  #691  
Old 09-25-2009, 10:28 PM
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Oily Titz.
This needs more love.
  #692  
Old 09-25-2009, 10:34 PM
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This needs more love.
And as I have a thing for crazy Jewish girls.....
  #693  
Old 09-26-2009, 02:39 AM
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This needs more love.
I can't hope for "santorum"-level popularity, but it does need to be spread around. Thanks!
  #694  
Old 09-26-2009, 05:31 AM
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"As the Senate Finance Committee moved into its fourth day of deliberations over the health care bill, tensions continued to rise.

Sen. Jon Kyl (R-Ariz.), broke new ground defending an amendment he'd proposed that struck language from the bill defining which benefits employers are required to cover -- in this case, basic maternity care.

"I don't need maternity care," Kyl said. "So requiring that on my insurance policy is something that I don't need and will make the policy more expensive."

Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.), interrupted Kyl: "I think your mom probably did."

The amendment was defeated, nine to 14."



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/0..._n_300367.html
  #695  
Old 09-26-2009, 05:58 AM
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To be fair, I'm not sure Kyl was actually born. Doesn't slime reproduce asexually?
  #696  
Old 09-26-2009, 07:45 AM
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I can't hope for "santorum"-level popularity, but it does need to be spread around. Thanks!
I've seen Oily Taint around a lot. Oily Titz is new to me. She really does look like Lady GaGa rode hard and put away wet.
  #697  
Old 09-26-2009, 10:16 AM
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She looks like she wishes she were rode hard, and put away wet.
  #698  
Old 09-26-2009, 04:56 PM
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"I don't need maternity care," Kyl said. "So requiring that on my insurance policy is something that I don't need and will make the policy more expensive."

Sen. Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich.), interrupted Kyl: "I think your mom probably did."

The amendment was defeated, nine to 14."
That's nine people who should be ashamed of themselves.
  #699  
Old 09-26-2009, 05:41 PM
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That's nine people who should be ashamed of themselves.
I hope their mothers and/or wives kicked their asses when they got home.
  #700  
Old 09-28-2009, 07:36 AM
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Old stupid republican idea of the day just bought to light. Didn't think it deserved it's own thread, so I put it here.

Tony Blair and the freaking president of Colombia get Medals of Freedom but JK Rowlings does not. And not because she wrote what some describe as mediocre books or that these books lack cultural significance but because Harry Potter promotes and encourages witchcraft.
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