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Old 08-14-2019, 08:46 AM
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Cats


Not enough people have enough cats in their homes.

I recommend at least 1 cat per household, and a total of up to two cats per 500 sq. ft. of living space. This number is not reduced by the quantity or size of non-cat biologicals infesting the living space.
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:54 AM
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It outta be a law.
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:58 AM
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You're working for them aren't you?
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:59 AM
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You're working for them aren't you?
Who doesn't?
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:03 AM
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They always say dogs have owners, but cats have 'staff'.
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:06 AM
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That's because they're so loyal.
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:54 AM
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Counter point: if you were small enough to be eaten by a your cat it would eat you.

Sincerely,

The Dog Council.

Last edited by Quimby; 08-14-2019 at 09:55 AM.
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:01 AM
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^ Dogs don't need to have an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:10 AM
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Counter point: if you were small enough to be eaten by a your cat it would eat you.

Sincerely,

The Dog Council.
Their natural ferocity has not been bred out of them and replaced with mindless loyalty. They love whom they want, they eat whom they want. How can anyone not respect and revere that kind of honesty?
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:11 AM
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There are too many apartments in my area that don't allow pets.
It leads to many abandoned pets. It's so sad.
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:13 AM
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Counter point: if you were small enough to be eaten by a your cat it would eat you.
Depends.

That is only borderline "small enough to be eaten", though.
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:32 AM
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^ Dogs don't need to have an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical.
Yet Jesus Christ (Superstar) does? WWJD?
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Old 08-14-2019, 10:32 AM
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Depends.

That is only borderline "small enough to be eaten", though.
If I were a paleolithic cave dude, my tribe would totally have a puma or three. Nobody'd mess with us. The wolf owners next door would fall to the first rival tribe with steaks to occupy the wolf guards. You'd know when you're crossing into our territory because you'd have to wade through a catnip barrier. And become a 'toy'.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:19 AM
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You need beams in your ceiling for proper Cat husbandry.
And a huge desire to be subservient to the feline royalty.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:58 AM
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Might we take it as given that the OP himself owns multiple cats? And that their existence at least indirectly prompted this thread? I think that puts this thread in violation of one of the board's rules.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:59 AM
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Can't. I'm allergic to them dying.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:03 PM
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Might we take it as given that the OP himself owns multiple cats? And that their existence at least indirectly prompted this thread? I think that puts this thread in violation of one of the board's rules.
Ladies and gentleman, meet Chicken. 11 y/o rescue panther.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:17 PM
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My house is 1600 sq ft. At 2 cats/500 sq ft, I need 6.4 cats. I only have one, so must acquire 5.4 cats.

I'll get right on that.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:31 PM
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Ladies and gentleman, meet Chicken. 11 y/o rescue panther.
Awwww! Chicken is sweet.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:34 PM
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My house is 1600 sq ft. At 2 cats/500 sq ft, I need 6.4 cats. I only have one, so must acquire 5.4 cats.

I'll get right on that.
One cat is fine. Two is probably optimal. Three is workable in a large enough place. Four-five you're starting to enter into the "I have too many cats" zone. Six or more if you're living alone is probably crazy cat person territory .

Modifiable by the good old 1 cat + 1 per human living in the house rule.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:44 PM
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I have 2. They have turned me into the crazy cat lady. Never in my life have I felt more inadequate. As soon as I think, 'yeah, this is working' they switch the rules around.
I have whiplash from trying to cater to their cat needs.
Love them. They are beautiful, sleek Siamese. With velvet ears and noses. And gorgeous blue eyes.
(They're watching me) Gah!

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 08-14-2019 at 12:44 PM. Reason: Meow
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:45 PM
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I guess it IS useful to have something to fill out that sack full of bricks before tossing it into the river...
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:53 PM
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One cat is fine. Two is probably optimal. Three is workable in a large enough place. Four-five you're starting to enter into the "I have too many cats" zone. Six or more if you're living alone is probably crazy cat person territory
What if one is basically an indoor feral and you only see her once very couple of months?

The Mrs. ascribes to the "one for each floor of the house, plus a floater". Of course we have more than that, but I know better than to question.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:55 PM
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I'm well over either the cat-per-household or the cat-per-person threshholds given in this thread.

I'm somewhat under the maximum cats-per-square-feet standard. Way under it if you include the outside. Four cats is as many as I think will get adequately patted, though.
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Old 08-14-2019, 02:00 PM
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4 inside fuzzbutts. 4 human hands available for skritches. The equation balances.
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Old 08-14-2019, 02:53 PM
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Six or more if you're living alone is probably crazy cat person territory .

Modifiable by the good old 1 cat + 1 per human living in the house rule.
Oh pshaw. This is nothing that can't be solved by a little math and some outside-the-box thinking.

By the 2 cats/500 sq ft rule I must have 6.4 cats. I do live alone, so that is 7.4 souls total. To maintain a 1:1 cat-human ratio, we need 3.7 humans. Let's assume, probably correctly, that I am classified as human. Now, if we just declare 2.7 of the cats to be honorary humans, we're good.

See? Problem solved.

(Speaking of outside-the-box, I actually have two cats, but #2 got booted outside for being a monster. I have always opposed letting cats outside, but the vet recommended it as the least horrible solution to an untenable situation with having him inside. Now he is a very happy and lazy cat who never strays more than about 10 feet from the house, even though there are gulches and trees and ravines and stone walls and bamboo clumps he could explore. He completely ignores all the amazing exploration opportunities around him, even though it amounts to a cat fantasy land, what with all the birds and bugs and lizards. Yet he was miserable as an indoor cat. Go figure. Cats is weird.)

.
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Last edited by CairoCarol; 08-14-2019 at 02:56 PM.
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Old 08-14-2019, 03:15 PM
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When I was growing up, we always had multiple indoor-outdoor-wherever-the-heck-they-please-door cats. The last of them mostly preferred the amenities of civilization, and never went far, but all of the rest, it was not at all unusual for them to go exploring for a few days at a time, then to come back as if nothing had ever changed. Though our environment wasn't quite as explorable as CairoCarol's, though on the other hand, it probably offered more opportunities for neighbors to spoil them.

Nowadays, Mom doesn't have any cats living in the house any more (she decided that she's getting too old to be cleaning litter boxes), but there are still two cats who live in the vicinity of the front porch (they have an insulated cat house for the winter). One of them is still skittish about humans, but the other has decided to thoroughly domesticate herself in every way other than living indoors (if a door closes behind her, she panics). It's to the point where she literally won't even let you feed her unless you pet her first.
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Old 08-14-2019, 03:20 PM
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I guess it IS useful to have something to fill out that sack full of bricks before tossing it into the river...
That's not funny, dude. Bricks are useful.

j/k - I am a dog person (2 inside and 2 outside guarding the livestock), but we have a token cat in the house as well. Got it as an abandoned kitten. Bottle fed it. It's now about 12 years old and shows no signs of slowing down - as if cats ever speed up, except randomly when jump started by some imaginary...something.
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Old 08-14-2019, 03:33 PM
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I once had a 27-pounder. How many normal cats was he the equivalent of?
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Old 08-14-2019, 03:48 PM
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I once had a 27-pounder. How many normal cats was he the equivalent of?
Maine Coon? That's a big kitty.

Gimli: But that still only counts as one!
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Old 08-14-2019, 04:02 PM
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Ick, cats. I have no cats at all in my apartment and that's still too many.
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Old 08-14-2019, 04:38 PM
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Fortunately I already have two.
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Old 08-14-2019, 05:21 PM
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Maine Coon? That's a big kitty.
No, just an orange tabby. I later had a Maine Coon that wasn't nearly as big.
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Old 08-14-2019, 05:35 PM
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I blame the coyotes. Yeah, the coyotes. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:59 PM
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We have four, down from a high of seven. Two humans in the household, 1600sf house. Seven was a bit too many (surprisingly not as bad as one might expect) but we loved them all. Four is a good number, especially since they all get along well.
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Old 08-14-2019, 09:03 PM
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I blame the coyotes. Yeah, the coyotes. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
You're a bad, bad, bad man.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:31 PM
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The reason cats are so pissy is that they're perfect killing machines but they are small and we keep picking them up and kissing them.

I've got three and I'm really lucky that they all get along. Two are rescues who had always lived outside. They both adapted amazingly well to inside life. My oldest is 15 and has some medical issues. After he is gone I hope to keep it to just the two. Yeah, right.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:38 PM
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Their natural ferocity has not been bred out of them and replaced with mindless loyalty. They love whom they want, they eat whom they want. How can anyone not respect and revere that kind of honesty?
That's exactly why cats have my utmost respect. I love dogs too, but they suffer from battered woman's syndrome. Their owners can mistreat them horribly, yet ole Fido remains faithful and true. You serve a cat inferior food, and they'll find a better home that serves Fancy Feasts, and never look back.
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Old 08-14-2019, 11:52 PM
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We have one and following the 2 per 500 sq ft formula need to acquire 6.3 more. However our 1 (a 12 lb orange tabby) is shedding so much that I cringe to imagine the amount of cat hair that 6 more cats would leave everywhere.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:15 AM
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We have one and following the 2 per 500 sq ft formula need to acquire 6.3 more. However our 1 (a 12 lb orange tabby) is shedding so much that I cringe to imagine the amount of cat hair that 6 more cats would leave everywhere.
I had always only had black and tortoiseshell cats until I acquired an orange and white tabby a few years ago. The hair! I didn't know cats could shed so much. I have to pick up behind her everywhere she lays. There are tufts in every corner. Dark cats just don't shed like that. So get six black cats and you will be fine.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:17 AM
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My house is 1600 sq ft. At 2 cats/500 sq ft, I need 6.4 cats. I only have one, so must acquire 5.4 cats.

I'll get right on that.
I vote you round up to acquiring an additional 6. Partial cats aren't all that cute or cuddly.

My current feline owner, a very adamant only cat (she barely tolerates the bird), is shedding so much lately that I'm surprised there's any fur still attached to her actual body (she still has plenty).

Last edited by Seanette; 08-15-2019 at 12:20 AM.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:20 AM
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My house is 1600 sq ft. At 2 cats/500 sq ft, I need 6.4 cats. I only have one, so must acquire 5.4 cats.

I'll get right on that.
Mind getting a couple extras for me? I move a lot and I understand their feline majesties don't like having their territory changed.
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Old 08-15-2019, 04:24 AM
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Cat Street

Cat Square
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Old 08-15-2019, 04:55 AM
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From somewhere on Facebook:

Dogs may be loyal, but cats won't tell the cops where your drugs are hidden.
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Old 08-15-2019, 06:32 AM
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1600sq ft of house, 48 catpaws in it

Also 7 dogpaws, with 2 humans to cater to them all.
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Old 08-15-2019, 06:48 AM
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I had always only had black and tortoiseshell cats until I acquired an orange and white tabby a few years ago. The hair! I didn't know cats could shed so much. I have to pick up behind her everywhere she lays. There are tufts in every corner. Dark cats just don't shed like that. So get six black cats and you will be fine.
Ever tried one of these? Chicken (in fact, a black cat) sheds a lot. Mostly undercoat. But he's totes mellow and doesn't mind being petted or brushed against the grain. So you take that silicone brush and go against the grain, maybe some circles, and it lifts out the loose undercoat hair. Then you can go over with a regular brush or one of these and collect it all up. Keeps him tidy for a couple days.
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Old 08-15-2019, 10:23 AM
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Counter point: if you were small enough to be eaten by a your cat it would eat you.
I had a coworker who pass off this mortal coil in her home. After a number of days her cats resorted to eating the person who was not only no longer providing food, but not moving or even breathing.

So your cats will eats you regardless of size if you don't feed them regularly and don't move for long enough.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:07 PM
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Ever tried one of these? Chicken (in fact, a black cat) sheds a lot. Mostly undercoat. But he's totes mellow and doesn't mind being petted or brushed against the grain. So you take that silicone brush and go against the grain, maybe some circles, and it lifts out the loose undercoat hair. Then you can go over with a regular brush or one of these and collect it all up. Keeps him tidy for a couple days.
This brush will remove loose hair from a shedding cat.
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Old 08-15-2019, 12:14 PM
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<snip>I recommend at least 1 cat per household, and a total of up to two cats per 500 sq. ft. of living space. This number is not reduced by the quantity or size of non-cat biologicals infesting the living space.
Why do you hate cats? 1 cat/ 500 sq. ft is much too low a concentration of cats. Downright homeopathic.

My oldest daughter is striving for 1 cat/cubic ft. She’s already up to 5 and wants more. “Send me more cats, dad!”

My youngest daughter and I volunteer every weekend at a cat rescue. We’ve fostered a few kittens already. If she had her way, we’d adopt all the cat’s. But, I have willpower: “sorry, hon, we’ve already got a cat (Tibby, rescued from the talons of an owl when he was a kitten—who said cat’s can’t fly?)”.

But, then "Bentley" was admitted to the clinic. A funny adolescent cat with a heart-shaped head, big bright eyes, a beautiful blue-sheen coat and energy to burn. My will power faltered. “Well...ok, I guess one more cat wouldn’t hurt. Maybe Tibby could use a cat-friend after all.”

The vet told us Bentley’s a purebred Korat. I’ve had many cat’s of various breeds over the years: tabbies, Manx, Siamese, 3 Maine Coons… But, this is my first Korat.

After having Bentley a few weeks now, I can best describe the Korat as a Siamese on crack. He’s a bad, bad, bad cat. He bosses Tibby around to no end and demands full-time attention. But Mr. Tibbs likes him, so I guess Bentley’s a keeper.
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Last edited by Tibby; 08-15-2019 at 12:15 PM.
  #50  
Old 08-15-2019, 12:36 PM
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I had a coworker who pass off this mortal coil in her home. After a number of days her cats resorted to eating the person who was not only no longer providing food, but not moving or even breathing.

So your cats will eats you regardless of size if you don't feed them regularly and don't move for long enough.
This thought actually doesn't bother me. If I ever pass away in my house and nobody notices, I don't mind if my cats nibble on me if their cat food runs out before anyone finds them. No point in all of us dying.
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