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Old 10-01-2018, 07:16 AM
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Monty Monty is offline
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Eight'll get you Ten Mini-rants for October

Zippers. Who decided that both male and female clothing now has to have identical zippers? I have exactly one item of clothing now that has the male zipper (zipper tab on the right side). It's a pain zipping up the rest of the zippered clothing I have because everything now has female zipper (zipper tab on the left side). Seriously, I can't be the only person on the planet that remembers different zippers for males and females.
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Old 10-01-2018, 07:20 AM
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I actually think you are.
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Old 10-01-2018, 09:21 AM
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My zippers are right-hand zippers; I do have one pair of trousers with a left-handed button-down fly and it turns out - it doesn't match any blouses because the blouses are also "male-style"!

Mom finds it offensive. I find it offensive that my tabs are supposed to give a shit about what's behind them

Last edited by Nava; 10-01-2018 at 09:21 AM.
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Old 10-01-2018, 09:27 AM
Ulf the Unwashed Ulf the Unwashed is offline
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Weird; every item of clothing I own (with a zipper) has the zipper on the right side. Pants, jackets, and coats, all of ‘em.

Male here.
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Old 10-01-2018, 10:29 AM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is offline
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I don't have a minirant for this post; I simply think it's just to give props to Monty for the elegant reasoning that went into the thread title.

Last edited by kaylasdad99; 10-01-2018 at 10:30 AM.
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Old 10-01-2018, 11:58 AM
Ukulele Ike Ukulele Ike is offline
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Male zipper tabs are on the right side because most of us “dress to the left,” so we’re less likely to catch our wieners in it.
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Old 10-01-2018, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Male zipper tabs are on the right side because most of us “dress to the left,” so we’re less likely to catch our wieners in it.
I don't think so - I'd assume they are on the right to match the way buttons work.

Also, it means that you use your left (generally less agile) hand to hold the fly back, and your dominant right hand to pull up the zipper, a more dexterous activity.

Potentially sucks for the lefties.

Last edited by Folacin; 10-01-2018 at 12:50 PM.
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Old 10-01-2018, 02:07 PM
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I don't understand. What are right side and left side zippers? Every zipper I've ever owned went straight up and down.
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Old 10-01-2018, 02:12 PM
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I don't understand. What are right side and left side zippers? Every zipper I've ever owned went straight up and down.
Flap over zipper opens to the right
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Old 10-01-2018, 02:46 PM
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Flap over zipper opens to the right
Oh. thanks.
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Old 10-01-2018, 04:11 PM
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I'm staying with my parents for the week in the leadup to Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. Last night my brother and his wife stayed over as well, because they've just moved out of their rental and are supposed to take possession of their new home today. This morning at breakfast my brother apologized for me being relegated to the couch last night and promised that they'd be out of our hair now. "Hey, you don't have the keys yet!" I say.

It's past closing at their lawyer's office now. They don't have the keys yet. I'm an ass.
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Old 10-01-2018, 06:06 PM
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I actually think you are.

Drat.

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Originally Posted by kaylasdad99 View Post
I don't have a minirant for this post; I simply think it's just to give props to Monty for the elegant reasoning that went into the thread title.

Thanks. I try to make the title linguistically relevant ("greatest" for August, "bug" for June). I was wondering who would be the first to cotton to this one. Kudos!

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Originally Posted by Ukulele Ike View Post
Male zipper tabs are on the right side because most of us “dress to the left,” so we’re less likely to catch our wieners in it.

A few years ago, I took my then girfriend now wife with me to Camp Walker in Daegu. I went to the tailor concession to get a new suit. awhile the the tailor was taking my measurements, he asked, "And how do you dress, sir?" I responded, "To the right." My girlfriend asked us what we were talking about and when I explained it to her in Korean, she said that couldn't be true. The tailor told her I was exactly right (heh). Hmm, maybe that explains a few zipper incidents I've had over the years.

Really, though, it's the jacket zippers that cause me problems now. I just cannot get used to the opposite way. And don't get me started on dress shirts here not having pockets.

Last edited by Monty; 10-01-2018 at 06:07 PM.
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Old 10-01-2018, 06:42 PM
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I don't have a minirant for this post; I simply think it's just to give props to Monty for the elegant reasoning that went into the thread title.
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Thanks. I try to make the title linguistically relevant ("greatest" for August, "bug" for June). I was wondering who would be the first to cotton to this one. Kudos!
I got it too, but that's because my Dad's birthday is the 8th and, even though I always remember October, I've tried to wish him Happy Birthday on the 10th any number of times because damnit, his birthday is 10/8 and October is the 8th month and ...

Yeah, what can I say. It annoys the ever-living hell out of me.
  #14  
Old 10-01-2018, 06:44 PM
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One of my favorite cars won't start. I suspect a fuel pump. Need to check it out.
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Old 10-01-2018, 07:24 PM
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I got it too, but that's because my Dad's birthday is the 8th and, even though I always remember October, I've tried to wish him Happy Birthday on the 10th any number of times because damnit, his birthday is 10/8 and October is the 8th month and ...

Yeah, what can I say. It annoys the ever-living hell out of me.

Here's a calendrical issue that annoys the ever-living hell out of me. Here in China, all the Chinese, ISTM, use the Gregorian month names for the lunar calendar. For example, last Monday was Mid-Autumn Festival. Everyone I encountered told me it's "August 15th of the lunar calendar". No, it's not! It's the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar. "August of the lunar calendar" is nonsense. This year, the 8th lunar month has 29 days; August has 31. Plus, the lunar calendar has leap months. What are you going to call that, a month of February 29s"? More nonsense because the leap month doesn't happen right after the 2nd lunar month.

Last edited by Monty; 10-01-2018 at 07:25 PM.
  #16  
Old 10-01-2018, 07:50 PM
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Got timed out while editing (and got a phone call ). The next lunar leap month will follow the 4th lunar month in 2020. The first 4th lunar month will have 30 days; the 2nd fourth month (yep, they just repeat the month number for the intercalary/leap month and it's not always the same month repeated!) will have 29, so "April 31 through April 59"? Complete and utter rubbish. Stop it!
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Old 10-01-2018, 08:53 PM
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We were told (by my very smart mother!) that zippers and buttons were on different sides, because men dressed themselves while women were dressed by servants, so to make it easier for them the buttons were reversed. (Maybe it's the other way around.)

My doctor told me that drinking orange juice every day contributes a lot of calories, so I stopped. So now I'm ready for this head cold to be over, the first one I've had in three years.
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Old 10-02-2018, 03:23 AM
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If your doctor didn't tell you to eat oranges instead, your doctor gave you half the information.

But throwing oranges at them is illegal. Sorry.
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Old 10-02-2018, 05:08 AM
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I'm staying with my parents for the week in the leadup to Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend ...
I hate how early Canadian Thanksgiving comes. Thanksgiving is supposed to include sitting around a warm fire when it's briskly cold outside, ideally with a risk of snow, maybe drinking something like a hot rum and cider. Canadian Thanksgiving was always too early, but with global warming it's getting ridiculous. In my area it will be 21°C (70° F) this Thanksgiving weekend. Yay for Thanksgiving -- let's light a cozy fire, have hot drinks, then put on our bathing suits and go for a swim!
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Old 10-02-2018, 07:45 AM
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Want some of our temps? No snow, but it's 5ºC at 1500.
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Old 10-02-2018, 12:01 PM
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Want some of our temps? No snow, but it's 5ºC at 1500.
No thanks! I enjoy the transition seasons when temperatures are not too hot and not too cold. I just want Canadian Thanksgiving to be later! Not to coincide with US Thanksgiving, because travel would be an even worse nightmare, but say the second Monday in November instead of October.
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Old 10-02-2018, 01:19 PM
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We were told (by my very smart mother!) that zippers and buttons were on different sides, because men dressed themselves while women were dressed by servants, so to make it easier for them the buttons were reversed. (Maybe it's the other way around.)
I heard that it was because little boys were dressed by their mommies, while girls became self- sufficient younger.

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My doctor told me that drinking orange juice every day contributes a lot of calories, so I stopped. So now I'm ready for this head cold to be over, the first one I've had in three years.
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If your doctor didn't tell you to eat oranges instead, your doctor gave you half the information.

But throwing oranges at them is illegal. Sorry.
How about putting the oranges into a pillowcase and whaling away?
  #23  
Old 10-02-2018, 02:30 PM
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Despite a serious hand injury, I work. I want tow ork, I like to work, and I am going to take care of myself, dammit.

In the past, I had thirteen "professionals" tell me to go on welfare, disability, and/or social security. The number is now up to 16.

WTF is wrong with working?
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Old 10-02-2018, 04:50 PM
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If your doctor didn't tell you to eat oranges instead, your doctor gave you half the information.

But throwing oranges at them is illegal. Sorry.
It wouldn’t help anyway. It’s an APPLE a day that keeps the doctor away. Throw apples instead.
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Old 10-02-2018, 07:42 PM
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Despite a serious hand injury, I work. I want tow ork, I like to work, and I am going to take care of myself, dammit.
Is there a lot of need for ork towing? Are there any special permits or equipment required? Can you make a living at it or is it just supplemental to other revenue streams?

Asking for a friend.
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Old 10-03-2018, 08:17 AM
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Did you not get the "serious hand injury" part? Sometimes typing in very hard for me.
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Old 10-03-2018, 01:14 PM
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I just got a spam email inviting me to a conference on building no-code spam bots.

* * *

You're invited to the first webinar of the Boomi Flow Webinar Series: "Building Zero Code, Zero Footprint BOTS."

Gartner estimates that by 2021, more than 50% of enterprises will spend more per annum on bots and chatbot creation than traditional mobile app development. Now is the time to embrace this technology and use AI bots to automate tasks and impact productivity across your organization

Join Thameem Khan, Field CTO at Dell Boomi on October 24th, to learn about:
• Building a business case for Enterprise Bots
• Advantages of the zero code, zero footprint approach to BOTS
• Leveraging Boomi to build high ROI BOTs

* * *

Below is a picture of the speaker. He looks like he murders cows.
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Old 10-04-2018, 03:59 PM
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I applied for a job at Company X and I've spoken to three of their people. I did very well and there are no more conversations scheduled. But it's been nearly two days, and I haven't heard anything from them.

Companies Y and Z have expressed interest in me, but I don't want to talk to them until I've heard back from Company X. The suspense is killing me!
  #29  
Old 10-04-2018, 08:15 PM
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I applied for a job at Company X and I've spoken to three of their people. I did very well and there are no more conversations scheduled. But it's been nearly two days, and I haven't heard anything from them.

Companies Y and Z have expressed interest in me, but I don't want to talk to them until I've heard back from Company X. The suspense is killing me!
Talk to Y and Z - no harm, if X hires you, tell Y and Z you accepted another position. If X doesn't hire you, then you are further along the path for Y or Z offering you a job.

You don't owe X anything, and Y and Z really won't care.

Last edited by Folacin; 10-04-2018 at 08:16 PM. Reason: making it sound a bit more like English is my mother tongue
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Old 10-04-2018, 09:09 PM
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You don't owe X anything, and Y and Z really won't care.
You're right, of course. All the same, I don't like pretending to be interested in a job when I'm much more interested in another.
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Old 10-04-2018, 10:47 PM
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I hate how early Canadian Thanksgiving comes. Thanksgiving is supposed to include sitting around a warm fire when it's briskly cold outside, ideally with a risk of snow, maybe drinking something like a hot rum and cider. Canadian Thanksgiving was always too early, but with global warming it's getting ridiculous. In my area it will be 21°C (70° F) this Thanksgiving weekend. Yay for Thanksgiving -- let's light a cozy fire, have hot drinks, then put on our bathing suits and go for a swim!
We are still digging out from 30cm of snow, my bush is flopped over and it's a skating rink.

So glad I wasn't planning to drive to my brother's for Thanksgiving anyway.

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Old 10-05-2018, 05:51 AM
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[QUOTE=Flutterby;21249455]We are still digging out from 30cm of snow, my bush is flopped over and it's a skating rink.

So glad I wasn't planning to drive to my brother's for Thanksgiving anyway.

Sent from my SM-G965W using Tapatalk[/QUOTE



So it's a good thing?
  #33  
Old 10-05-2018, 09:38 AM
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...my bush is flopped over and it's a skating rink.
I spent all night trying to figure this out.

Did the weight of the snow cause a bush to...uproot? Leaving a hole that filled with water and froze, making a very tiny rink for mice to skate on? Anyone understand this?
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Old 10-05-2018, 09:55 AM
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I spent all night trying to figure this out.

Did the weight of the snow cause a bush to...uproot? Leaving a hole that filled with water and froze, making a very tiny rink for mice to skate on? Anyone understand this?
I assumed I'd have to delve into Urban Dictionary to understand it.
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Old 10-05-2018, 01:50 PM
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Last month, I complained about a pain in my hand. Turns out, I had tendonitis from mousing and typing with bad form for work. I got new ergonomic stuff and my hand feels better now.

But while I was going though that, I couldn't crochet. Now that I am pain free, I'm ready to dive in and... Dang, the past month was a great time for patterns. I want to make ALL the things! When will I have time? This is the best time for crocheting, btw, you can cuddle up cozy warm with your WIP while your make it.
  #36  
Old 10-05-2018, 02:29 PM
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I assumed I'd have to delve into Urban Dictionary to understand it.
Yo, muh bush be flopped... (know whuttah mean? nudge, nudge)
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Old 10-05-2018, 04:43 PM
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One of my favorite cars won't start. I suspect a fuel pump. Need to check it out.
Aw, the joys of "Mysterious Failure"!

No fuel pump, and also checked for spark. No spark! Shit! Substantially worse problem, perhaps some expensive "Brain" unit.

So, I did a Hail Mary. Disconnected the battery, jumped the positive and negative cables to short the system, and...

BINGO! Fired right up!

Sometimes you get the Bear, sometimes the Bear gets you. A rare, non-Bear day.
  #38  
Old 10-05-2018, 07:03 PM
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See the "Reboot the Fridge" thread.
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Old 10-05-2018, 09:40 PM
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I spent all night trying to figure this out.

Did the weight of the snow cause a bush to...uproot? Leaving a hole that filled with water and froze, making a very tiny rink for mice to skate on? Anyone understand this?
Eh I was typing while tired and on my phone.

My bush is practically flat from the snow.

The melt-freeze cycle is turning the roads into a skating rink.



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  #40  
Old 10-05-2018, 10:12 PM
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See the "Reboot the Fridge" thread.
I don't think I can wrap my head around the idea of a "Smart Fridge". I mean, Why?

Last edited by Gatopescado; 10-05-2018 at 10:13 PM. Reason: But I'll be bored later, so I'll read it.
  #41  
Old 10-06-2018, 01:19 AM
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Who doesn't want to surf Pornhub from their fridge?
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Old 10-06-2018, 08:21 AM
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I hadn't thought of that. I think I'm sold!
  #43  
Old 10-06-2018, 08:41 PM
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Last month, I complained about a pain in my hand. Turns out, I had tendonitis from mousing
Jeez, get a cat.
  #44  
Old 10-07-2018, 11:55 AM
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Zippers. Who decided that both male and female clothing now has to have identical zippers?
Or intriguing designs like this?

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One of my favorite cars won't start.

Yeah I hate it when my Bugatti's hubcaps won't spin and have to put it in the shop again and have to use the beater Porsche.

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I hate how early Canadian Thanksgiving comes. Thanksgiving is supposed to include sitting around a warm fire when it's briskly cold outside, ideally with a risk of snow, maybe drinking something like a hot rum and cider. Canadian Thanksgiving was always too early, but with global warming it's getting ridiculous. In my area it will be 21°C (70° F) this Thanksgiving weekend. Yay for Thanksgiving -- let's light a cozy fire, have hot drinks, then put on our bathing suits and go for a swim!
This Canuck has no probs with a non-wintery T-giving. I'd have more of a problem having it on the Yank date - way too close to X-mas. It's like - what - I'm seeing you guys again, so soon?

US politics has been somewhat disconcerting.*

*Perhaps not a recent revelation.
  #45  
Old 10-07-2018, 08:33 PM
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US politics has been somewhat disconcerting...
Way to dispel the myth of the polite, understating Canadian.
  #46  
Old 10-08-2018, 08:04 AM
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Jeez, get a cat.
(I know it's a joke but it dovetails so nicely with my rant)

I do have a cat. He's a lazy asshole that pees in my living room and ruins stuff. I finally bit the bullet and put a litter box in the living room to see if he would at least pee where he's supposed to if it's in his room of choice. For the past two weeks, we have had no instances of inappropriate peeing. Success! Except now he poops almost exclusively in that litter box and he won't bury it. Great.

Jerk Face
  #47  
Old 10-08-2018, 08:23 AM
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I don't think I can wrap my head around the idea of a "Smart Fridge". I mean, Why?
So the motherfucker will crap out after 5 years from "the motherboard" when everything else is still fine. Replacing the motherboard would have been almost 500€ just for the part; a new fridge was less than 300. And the old one didn't even have screens, internet or an ice maker; the spec which made it "extra fancy" was that you could switch off either half (fridge and freezer) separately.
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Old 10-08-2018, 10:08 AM
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(I know it's a joke but it dovetails so nicely with my rant)

I do have a cat. He's a lazy asshole that pees in my living room and ruins stuff. I finally bit the bullet and put a litter box in the living room to see if he would at least pee where he's supposed to if it's in his room of choice. For the past two weeks, we have had no instances of inappropriate peeing. Success! Except now he poops almost exclusively in that litter box and he won't bury it. Great.

Jerk Face
Have you tried the "slowly move it where you actually want it" trick? Although that can be a problem if there are closed doors and/or stairs involved.
  #49  
Old 10-08-2018, 10:27 AM
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Dear Professor Twatwaffle,

FUCK YOU you vile, evil, revolting cunt. I have spent Eight. Goddamn. Years in school while simultaneously working and raising a family and you sit there and tell me that I’m not taking this seriously? What. The. Ever-loving. Fuck??? Maybe, just maybe your fucking expectations run counter to everything that every other professor has 1) taught us to do, and b) expected from us. Therefore, perhaps my request for clarification comes not from a position of laziness but rather genuine confusion over the required projects. Additionally, if you have some serious issues with my paper perhaps you could lay them out—telling me “I could list the problems with your thesis and argument, but why bother if you don’t care” isn’t fucking helpful. I mean, we’re both teachers, constructive criticism is what we do.Well, it’s what I do with my students, clearly it’s not what you do. You just demean your students and play favorites. If I didn't meet your expectations, tell me how.

Yeah, I know. This is graduate school, boo fucking hoo, put on your big boy pants, etc. But you know what? The whole fucking point of graduate school is to hone the field-specific skills that we learned in a broader sense as undergrads. For me, that’s research, which means that if I have questions or concerns simply referring me to the syllabus and repeating the due date doesn’t fucking cut it. When half the students in your seminar—half the goddamn students—voice their continued and sustained confusion over the assignment you’ve given, perhaps that’s a good indicator that the fault is not ours, but rather your unclear expectations. Oh? We’re all idiots? Ok, I guess that makes sense. I was under the impression that we were graduate students, but apparently we’re just a bunch of high school dropouts with a collectively high illiteracy rate and low IQ. Yep, that must be it. How foolish of me.

Now, maybe you’re one of those “sink or swim” types, but yanno what? Fuck you. Those types—your fucking type—don’t belong in teaching positions. I’m paying for my fucking grad school out of my own pocket, every single dime, right there on my Visa card—don’t tell me I’m not taking it seriously.

Go fuck a chainsaw, bitch.
  #50  
Old 10-08-2018, 11:39 AM
overlyverbose overlyverbose is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: STLMO
Posts: 6,273
I decided to stay home today with the kids. After all, they had a day off school, we had a really hectic but wonderful weekend, so I wanted them to be able to sleep and relax instead of having to be shuttled someplace or have to stay home alone while I work today. Awesome. So they got to have a leisurely morning which, although it did involve flu shots (making the most of a day off), also included candy for said flu shots thanks to the pediatrician's office.

So I came home to wash the trashcans out (we've had bugs practically crawling out of the woodwork, which is typical when we have the house sprayed a couple of times a year - the house isn't terribly old, but old enough that when we spray some creepy crawlies come out, gasp and die, so I usually bleach the more common areas to prevent any "growth"). I open the trash cabinet and take out the bin only to find a squirming mess quite full of life underneath. Someone forgot to take out the trash while we were gone, which I knew and remedied last night, but I was tired so hadn't gotten around to the bleaching part. Apparently my attempts to prevent any bugs were one day too late and a fly had laid eggs under the cabinet. Well, the fuckers hatched and I haven't been able to eat today out of sheer disgust.

Fine, maggots (shudder) taken care of, I go to throw the laundry into the dryer. And my feet go splash. Fuuuuuck. A leak has sprung in the bottom of the washer. While we aren't out of laundry (I did it before we left), my laundry room is decidedly not supposed to go splash. Anyway, the kids were more upset than I was. I kind of rolled my eyes, got down on my knees and started wiping, with their help. Damn house. Damn vacations. Always more tiring than I expect.
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