View Poll Results: Do you kiss and cuddle your sick SO? Do you let your SO kiss and cuddle you when you're sick?
Yes, I kiss and cuddle my SO despite them being sick. Yes, I let my SO kiss and cuddle me when I'm sick. 43 51.19%
Yes, I kiss and cuddle my SO despite them being sick. No, I don't let my SO kiss and cuddle me when I'm sick. 6 7.14%
No, I don't kiss and cuddle my SO despite them being sick. Yes, I do let my SO kiss and cuddle me when I'm sick. 1 1.19%
No, I don't kiss and cuddle my SO despite them being sick. No, I don't let my SO kiss and cuddle me when I'm sick. 34 40.48%
Voters: 84. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:19 PM
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Do you kiss and cuddle your SO in spite of them being sick?


Do you believe they're worth the risk of getting sick for? Or do you avoid each other?

By the same token, when you're sick, do you let your SO be affectionate even if he or she doesn't mind the risk of getting sick themselves?
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  #2  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:22 PM
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Never happen. I'm weird about germs anyway. No need to court disaster.
  #3  
Old 10-04-2019, 07:49 PM
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I tend to assume that I'm already so exposed, it's pointless to try.
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Old 10-04-2019, 07:58 PM
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To the people who don't let their SO show affection when you're sick and they're not, even when they are okay with the potential of getting sick themselves: why not?

Just curious. I can see that some may just want to be left alone, but aside from that, if your SO doesn't care if he or she gets sick kissing and cuddling you when you're sick, why not let them comfort you and allow them to continue expressing their love? Is it not endearing that they're willing to take that risk to continue being affectionate with you?
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Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 10-04-2019 at 08:02 PM.
  #5  
Old 10-04-2019, 09:50 PM
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My wife really likes to be taken care of when she’s sick, so I do. I want to be left alone when I’m sick, so she does.
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Old 10-04-2019, 09:50 PM
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When my wife and I were first dating I spent the day before thanksgiving holding her hair and rubbing her back while she threw up all day the next day I got as sick as I've ever been. After that no more affection for her when she's sick.

Now we've got two kids so at least one of has to be functional at all times. I've slept on the couch the last two nights so I don't breathe on her since I caught a stomach bug from my daughter. It normally works at least in so much as whoever gets sick first is mostly healthy before the other one succumbs. So far in the 8 days since my daughter got sick and 2 days since I went down my wife is ok.
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Old 10-05-2019, 02:01 AM
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The whole point of a relationship is to take care of each other, so that together you are better and stronger than either of you are alone. So if she needs a cuddle, I provide it. And if I need one, she provides it. If that means we swap cooties, so be it. But the angels seem to appreciate our effort, because we rarely catch anything from each other.
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Old 10-05-2019, 02:53 AM
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Really not worried about cross-contamination. The only issue is when we are sick, we're not really energetic, so the kissing and cuddling is reduced due to lack of energy and general malaise.
  #9  
Old 10-05-2019, 07:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by R3d Anonymous View Post
To the people who don't let their SO show affection when you're sick and they're not, even when they are okay with the potential of getting sick themselves: why not?
I didn't pick that option because I don't push my partners away on principle when I'm sick or anything. But when I get sick I get cranky and withdrawn, I often feel ugly and disgusting about my body, and touch itself is often physically uncomfortable. So I do it a little bit.
  #10  
Old 10-05-2019, 07:46 AM
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To the people who don't let their SO show affection when you're sick and they're not, even when they are okay with the potential of getting sick themselves: why not?
When Mrs. Charming and Rested is sick, she appreciates snuggles. When I'm sick, the warmth of her snuggles doesn't outweigh how bad I will feel it I get her sick. I'd rather reduce her risk. She can bring me soup and tea to comfort me. It works for us.
  #11  
Old 10-05-2019, 08:31 AM
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There's a difference between attending to the needs of a sick spouse with due caution and hand-washing, and on the other hand posting a quarantine sign on the bedroom door and wearing a surgical mask, while calling "Bring out your dead!" at intervals.

Anyone who thinks it's perfectly OK to canoodle with a coughing, dripping and spewing spouse has probably never gone through a siege of norovirus.
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Old 10-05-2019, 08:34 AM
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There's an assumption here that "sick" means "contagious". When Ms Napier had cancer last year, I definitely comforted her. When I had peritonitis a few years ago, she definitely comforted me.

We care about each other and don't want to hurt each other, so we both expect the other to keep distance when we are contagious with something.
  #13  
Old 10-05-2019, 08:39 AM
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There's a difference between attending to the needs of a sick spouse with due caution and hand-washing, and on the other hand posting a quarantine sign on the bedroom door and wearing a surgical mask, while calling "Bring out your dead!" at intervals.

Anyone who thinks it's perfectly OK to canoodle with a coughing, dripping and spewing spouse has probably never gone through a siege of norovirus.
Yes, I voted "no, no", but of course I care for my husband when he's sick, and he cares for me. We just don't breathe in each other's faces or eat each other's spit when we are sick.

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Originally Posted by Napier View Post
There's an assumption here that "sick" means "contagious". When Ms Napier had cancer last year, I definitely comforted her. When I had peritonitis a few years ago, she definitely comforted me.

We care about each other and don't want to hurt each other, so we both expect the other to keep distance when we are contagious with something.
Again, yes, of course.
  #14  
Old 10-05-2019, 08:51 AM
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No, and no. Might get a kiss on the cheek, or an affectionate touch, but no snuggling, and no serious smooching.
  #15  
Old 10-05-2019, 09:21 AM
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There's an assumption here that "sick" means "contagious".
Of course there is. The OP says "Do you believe they're worth the risk of getting sick for?" so obviously contagious is meant.
  #16  
Old 10-05-2019, 09:38 AM
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Neither of us kiss or cuddle when the other is sick.
  #17  
Old 10-06-2019, 09:27 AM
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I feel like for me it would depend on the illness.

Colds and moderate fevers (102 or less) make up the majority of “getting sick”. That’s what I mostly had in mind asking this question, and in the case, I’d be willing to just get sick with her to show her affection (as long as she wasn’t the type to want to be left alone or something). Make being sick a romantic experience lol, since it’s not serious.

Strep throat is debatable and 50/50; not serious, but I have an extreme dislike for it because I had it a lot growing up. Now if it was the flu or throwing up or sustained high fever (103+), probably try to take care of her the best I could, while doing the best to not get sick myself.

I think it also changes if a couple has children. What I’m seeing is the majority of couples are well-willing to kiss those sick lips while still childless. But with children, that kind of thing becomes less worth the cost of the difficulty of taking care of the children.
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  #18  
Old 10-06-2019, 01:02 PM
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I never get sick anyway, so germ me, baby!
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Old 10-06-2019, 04:10 PM
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her immune system is all mucked up, if she's sick I will try to make her feel better. If I'm sick (rare, but it does happen) I try to avoid her as much as possible.
  #20  
Old 10-06-2019, 04:27 PM
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We take care of each other but I would never let her kiss or cuddle me if I'm very obviously ill and contagious, and she wouldn't either.
And I have never dated anyone that would.

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  #21  
Old 10-06-2019, 05:28 PM
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We take care of each other but I would never let her kiss or cuddle me if I'm very obviously ill and contagious, and she wouldn't either.
And I have never dated anyone that would.

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What if she didn’t mind and believed that the cost of getting sick wasn’t enough to stop being affectionate?

I can see why one wouldn’t want to be the one to do it to another because they don’t want to get sick, but I don’t understand why quite a few when sick wouldn’t let the other show them affection even if they didn’t mind getting sick in doing so.

Some people actually love kissing and cuddling a sick partner in spite of the risk, so I don’t know why one would stop them (unless it was because they just wanted to be left alone in general).

By the looks of it, by the way, seems like 50/50 - and that’s what I’ve picked up on. Some are diehard, “Let’s get sick together!” An equal amount of others are, “Quarantine!”

But there are also quite a few who are like, “I want to kiss you even though you’re sick! But no, I’m not letting you kiss me when I’m sick!” Almost like a cat and mouse game.
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Last edited by R3d Anonymous; 10-06-2019 at 05:31 PM.
  #22  
Old 10-06-2019, 08:59 PM
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We share a bed, for heaven't sake. Kissing/cuddling isn't going to make a difference, and is of great mutual comfort during illness.

Last edited by MacSpon; 10-06-2019 at 08:59 PM. Reason: Fixed grammar
  #23  
Old 10-07-2019, 09:46 AM
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Yes, but I cheat by having an ironclad immune system.

I haven't been sick since the 90s so any germs won't affect me.
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  #24  
Old 10-07-2019, 10:03 AM
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We share a bed, for heaven't sake.
This is what the spare bedroom is for.
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Old 10-07-2019, 11:29 AM
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This is what the spare bedroom is for.
Yep! We have two daughters, 4 years and 1 year old. If either of us gets sick, we separate into different bedrooms. Yes, the odds are we'll infect each other anyway just based on day-to-day interactions of running a home and family but we do what we can to minimize it.

About 6 weeks ago our oldest daughter caught a stomach bug and was vomiting pretty much all the time for 12 hours. It started late at night and we felt horrible and brought her into bed with us to comfort her. By the next morning I was throwing up continuously from the same. My wife started later that day. Our youngest got it the day after. Having both parents unable to do anything other than puke and groan about how life is awful, with 2 young girls who needed care, was one of the single worst experiences ever. If we did not have support from my mother I do not know how we would have got through those 48-72 hours.

So before that we always had separated into separate rooms at the first sign of a cold or flu or other contagious sickness. This just reinforced it that we need to continue to do so.
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  #26  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:54 AM
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Yeah, I think when there are children involved, it becomes more critical for at least one parent to stay healthy.
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  #27  
Old 10-07-2019, 12:06 PM
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Yeah, I think when there are children involved, it becomes more critical for at least one parent to stay healthy.
Can you come up with scenarios where it's better for two people to be sick, rather than one?
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Old 10-07-2019, 12:36 PM
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I'm assuming we're talking about things like colds. Obviously we'd do more for more serious illnesses.

We try not to get too close, but I can't imagine it makes any difference. You're generally contagious for a full day before showing symptoms, so the exposure has likely already happened. We have two small children who aren't up to adult standards of hygiene like "cover your mouth when you cough" or "don't wipe your snot all over everything you touch". And they are of course the source of most illnesses in our house, since they get up close and personal with a bunch of preschoolers on the regular.

We tended to keep our distance more when it was just the two of us. When there was any chance at all that it would accomplish something.
  #29  
Old 10-07-2019, 12:48 PM
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Can you come up with scenarios where it's better for two people to be sick, rather than one?
Well the second person getting sick isnít really a problem if there arenít children. So in that case, if he or she doesnít mind the cost or risk of personally getting sick, thatís all that matters in choosing whether to be affectionate with the sick SO. Whereas with kids, itís not just about personal preference, but that their care will be compromised.
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  #30  
Old 10-07-2019, 12:58 PM
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Well the second person getting sick isnít really a problem if there arenít children.
This makes no sense. The second person getting sick is always a problem. Who is doing the cooking, the shopping, the laundry? Who is going to work and getting paid? Snuggles are nice, but not at that cost.
  #31  
Old 10-07-2019, 01:23 PM
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This makes no sense. The second person getting sick is always a problem. Who is doing the cooking, the shopping, the laundry? Who is going to work and getting paid? Snuggles are nice, but not at that cost.
Oh okay, I meant with the assumption that the other person is able to maintain those things. For some, a cold or a moderate fever doesnít do much to stop the from doing those things. I mean how do you manage when youíre single and sick? You still get shit done because you have to...

It depends on the situation overall: salaried or not, risk aversion of the second person, ability to continue doing stuff while sick, severity of the illness, etc. Ultimately itís a personal and subjective choice as far as what the person and couple as a whole can and is willing to manage.
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  #32  
Old 10-07-2019, 01:49 PM
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My last boyfriend,like I, very rarely got more than a mild cold. It never stopped either of us, though I generally prefer to be left alone.The only time I might reconsider that is the time we were on a trip and he was feeling really poorly. He wasn't really up for much sex but we certainly slept skin to skin every night. By the time we got home several days later it turned out he had shingles I don't know how I escaped that one. But, yeah, had I known that's what he had I think I might have asked for a rollaway cot or something.
  #33  
Old 10-07-2019, 06:34 PM
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Depends on whether or not I've already had it.
  #34  
Old 10-07-2019, 11:21 PM
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In the morning greeting or send-off kiss, it's a usually peck on the lips. If one of us is sick, we do a cheek to cheek kiss. No lip contact.
  #35  
Old 10-08-2019, 01:59 PM
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No and no but I should say not anymore. A couple decades back we spent most of a winter and spring sharing illnesses and both decided that enough was enough.
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