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  #51  
Old 07-19-2004, 03:51 PM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
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Engagement Ring: $1800.00

Inviting your entire insane family to your wedding & paying for it: $3500.00

Seeing your brother's whorish girl friend strip down nekkid out side the chapel: Priceless





Can't wait to hear about a family funeral.
  #52  
Old 07-19-2004, 04:25 PM
Shodan Shodan is offline
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You made my story of the last wedding I attended sound pitifully inadequate.

One of the bridesmaids drank herself into a coma (literally - as in ambulance calls, CPR, and spending the weekend on a ventilator), and the police were called because of the fights in the parking lot over who started the bonfire.

And there weren't any whores.

Best wishes to the bride, and congratulations to you, Stuffy.

Regards,
Shodan
  #53  
Old 07-19-2004, 04:51 PM
lieu lieu is offline
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Dude, just...




dude.
  #54  
Old 07-19-2004, 04:54 PM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Stuffy, thanks for making me tear up with sheer laughter. That was priceless. Although I do feel for you, I mean, what a trainwreck of a family. I'm glad to hear you and your wife made it out alive, and are in good spirits even four years after.

So... any chance we're going to see any of the wedding pics? Huh? C'mon, I'll show you mine if you show me yours!
  #55  
Old 07-19-2004, 05:05 PM
Stuffy Stuffy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldfire
Stuffy, thanks for making me tear up with sheer laughter. That was priceless. Although I do feel for you, I mean, what a trainwreck of a family. I'm glad to hear you and your wife made it out alive, and are in good spirits even four years after.

So... any chance we're going to see any of the wedding pics? Huh? C'mon, I'll show you mine if you show me yours!
You get used to it and plan accordingly. To be fair to my family I was laughing about it after a couple of months. Nay is still mad though, she won't even talk to P; not that there are a lot of opportunities to do so. We just moved back to our old apartment a month ago, and a lot of stuff like photos and knic-knacs are still boxed up, I'll try to scan and load them up this weekend.
  #56  
Old 07-19-2004, 05:14 PM
Coldfire Coldfire is offline
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Excellent! I'm betting the woman that made it worth enduring this madness must be one very special bride indeed.
  #57  
Old 07-19-2004, 06:26 PM
Cerowyn Cerowyn is offline
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Amazing story. On my next trip to SF, I'd be proud to hop over to Oakland and buy you the beverage of your choice. Assuming, of course, you promise to keep posting stories.
  #58  
Old 07-19-2004, 06:58 PM
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Bear_Nenno Bear_Nenno is offline
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For some reason, I feel like I can really relate to this! I am not inviting ANY of my extended family to my wedding - no matter how much my fiance may beg. And if she insists, I'm showing her this thread and mine!!
  #59  
Old 07-19-2004, 07:10 PM
Marvel Marvel is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuffy
B got marreid and moved to NY, then moved back, we stayed with him a week after the fire.
FIRE?!?!

What FIRE?

What ELSE has happened to you, you poor, poor soul?

Don't tell me locusts, frogs and a blood red river were involved, as well...

Patty
  #60  
Old 07-19-2004, 07:48 PM
TheLoadedDog TheLoadedDog is offline
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Thanks for the entertainment Stuffy, but also (and don't take this the wrong way) thanks for having a family worse than mine. It's strangely reassuring. Sad part is, I'm serious.

Oh yes, and your writing style rocks.
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  #61  
Old 07-19-2004, 07:56 PM
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Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuffy
Well the reason for Tennessee is that I was stopping to visit some favorite cousins for dinner on the way to Asheville, NC. We also stopped for breakfast on the way back home.

Stuffy, don't take this the wrong way, but if you ever bring these people to Tennessee....!!!!
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  #62  
Old 07-19-2004, 07:58 PM
Stuffy Stuffy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marvel
FIRE?!?!

What FIRE?

What ELSE has happened to you, you poor, poor soul?

Don't tell me locusts, frogs and a blood red river were involved, as well...

Patty
Last September, our apartment caught fire. We all got out fine, and are back in the restored apartment. Sorry, no funny story to go along with it, at least it wasn't our fault.

For everyobody offering beer, let me know when you're in town, regretfully I'll have to leave my family at home
  #63  
Old 07-19-2004, 08:00 PM
jayjay jayjay is offline
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Originally Posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
Stuffy, don't take this the wrong way, but if you ever bring these people to Tennessee....!!!!
Good lord...it's Tennessee! I thought you already had more than enough folks like that!
  #64  
Old 07-19-2004, 09:51 PM
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Lumpy Lumpy is offline
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I feel blessed. None of my relatives drink or have done time.
  #65  
Old 07-19-2004, 10:08 PM
633squadron 633squadron is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kallessa
Man, I miss Reno.
WHAT!

Oh boy don't start me about Reno, man! I was ticketed there for doing 35 mph in a 15 mph zone on New Year's Night when I could have been going 450 mph and not hit anyone. The wonderful municipality of Reno, NV was going to fine me $250! I actually took the time to drive from SF Bay Area to Reno to fight this, and got it reduced to $75.

If anyone is interested in Reno, the wonderful city, I suggest they go down to the Reno Municipal Court. That part of the megalopolis is a real garden spot.
  #66  
Old 07-20-2004, 12:19 AM
Larry Mudd Larry Mudd is offline
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Eh, it could have been worse.

(Although I doubt it could have been related in a more amusing fashion.)
  #67  
Old 07-20-2004, 09:33 AM
ShibbOleth ShibbOleth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bear_Nenno
For some reason, I feel like I can really relate to this! I am not inviting ANY of my extended family to my wedding - no matter how much my fiance may beg. And if she insists, I'm showing her this thread and mine!!
I think we could make A LOT of money by bringing Stuffy and Bear_Nenno's families together in a reality TV type situation. Think Jerry Springer on steroids. One week they could all go to a nice restaurant together. The next week maybe a hunting trip ! After that the obligatory COPS episode. This is a money making machine just waiting to happen. If too many members of one family are killed or convicted we can have guest family appearances from other Doper families. Whaddya say?
  #68  
Old 07-20-2004, 10:59 AM
Bongmaster Bongmaster is offline
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Stuffy, I gotta say that was one of the most halarious and best written stories I've read here, thanks for sharing!
  #69  
Old 07-20-2004, 04:54 PM
liirogue liirogue is offline
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I second the request for pictures! I hafta know what these crazy people look like!
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