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  #51  
Old 01-11-2018, 10:14 AM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Don't leave your unlocked car running and then wonder why it gets stolen

I lost my house key



Did you leave your house running? It might not be there when you get back.







(Apologies to Steven Wright, who has a great routine about all that)
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It was then that he noticed that the Thing in the room with him consisted of a mass of hideously twisting tentacles and pseudopods, writhing in all directions, each of them an unworldly shade of green or yellow, with a nacreous glossy sheen.
---The Call of Chihuli
  #52  
Old 01-11-2018, 11:02 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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I've Got a Year to do a Marathon, Any Personal Training Tips?
Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What's my best plan of action?


Forget the slow training run, work on sprinting instead.
  #53  
Old 01-11-2018, 12:54 PM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Use of the term 'opinionated'

Post your unpopular opinions



Now, you see there? THAT'S Opinionated!
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It was then that he noticed that the Thing in the room with him consisted of a mass of hideously twisting tentacles and pseudopods, writhing in all directions, each of them an unworldly shade of green or yellow, with a nacreous glossy sheen.
---The Call of Chihuli
  #54  
Old 01-11-2018, 02:16 PM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Three hours of freezing rain followed by cold snap - the city is a skating rink.

I lost my house key




Now THERE'S an Unfortunate Series of Events
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It was then that he noticed that the Thing in the room with him consisted of a mass of hideously twisting tentacles and pseudopods, writhing in all directions, each of them an unworldly shade of green or yellow, with a nacreous glossy sheen.
---The Call of Chihuli

Last edited by CalMeacham; 01-11-2018 at 02:16 PM.
  #55  
Old 01-12-2018, 07:15 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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The Earth warps the space around it but...
why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?


The warp wasn't strong enough to prevent asteroids.
  #56  
Old 01-12-2018, 08:39 AM
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El_Kabong El_Kabong is offline
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Are Democrats a big tent party? Should they be?
Joe Arpaio is running for US Senate seat.


I don't think they should be quite that big a tent...

Last edited by El_Kabong; 01-12-2018 at 08:40 AM.
  #57  
Old 01-12-2018, 08:40 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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chacoguy has passed
Human bones found in back yard
  #58  
Old 01-12-2018, 02:48 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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The Femmy Boy's Guide to Flirting
Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What's my best plan of action?


Flattery. "You're a cute widdle pit bull! Yes you are!"
  #59  
Old 01-14-2018, 05:11 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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What is the correct version of events in the Rosa Parks story?
US Military executioners


The TRUTH IS OUT THERE, SHEEPLE!
  #60  
Old 01-14-2018, 08:13 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Airliner cockpit setup
So what do I do with these savings bonds?


Just let 'em dangle. But I'd go with the fuzzy dice instead.
  #61  
Old 01-15-2018, 08:15 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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When you tell people where you are from , what do they usually say?
You might be richer than you think you are: Unclaimed Money


"Hi! I'm Ludovic and I live in San Francisco and earn $250,000 a year like: you know, I'm your average middle-classer!"

  #62  
Old 01-15-2018, 12:59 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Burning something in a sealed unit.
Animals and pain


Tonight's special: Jar-Charred Chicken.
  #63  
Old 01-16-2018, 08:35 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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How do you want your chicken dinner?
Chickenman has gone to the great coop in the sky.


No chicken for me, thanks.
  #64  
Old 01-16-2018, 10:01 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Medics and Priests during WW(x)
Mass and Energy


The priests only say mass if they have enough energy.
  #65  
Old 01-16-2018, 10:40 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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How did/do "primitive" people trim their toenails?
Breech loading rifles and the American Civil War


"Hold still, Ephraim, that left big toe still looks a mite uneven."
  #66  
Old 01-16-2018, 11:53 AM
Clothahump Clothahump is offline
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Chickenman has gone to the great coop in the sky.
How do you want your chicken dinner?
  #67  
Old 01-16-2018, 01:05 PM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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I Don't Get This Science Joke

For the nerds: a proof that maths is sexy
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It was then that he noticed that the Thing in the room with him consisted of a mass of hideously twisting tentacles and pseudopods, writhing in all directions, each of them an unworldly shade of green or yellow, with a nacreous glossy sheen.
---The Call of Chihuli
  #68  
Old 01-16-2018, 03:54 PM
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Spiderman Spiderman is offline
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In the US, can an off-duty rent-a-cop exercise arrest powers?
How do you tell what is or is not OK to freeze?


Can't they just say, Don't move!" instead?
  #69  
Old 01-16-2018, 05:57 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What would be wrong with a norm of explicit, enthusiastic consent to every sex act?
Is Fox News really all that bad?


Supposedly, they've got the explicit and enthusiastic part down pat...
  #70  
Old 01-17-2018, 08:22 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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It may be time for Americans to consider splitting up the UNITED States of America irst new post Post your unpopular opinions

Answered and asked
  #71  
Old 01-17-2018, 10:59 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Travel tips from a seasoned traveler
Pineapple Casserole --- What the Hell?


Hey, those Iowa bed-and-breakfasts can be a culinary treat.
  #72  
Old 01-17-2018, 12:00 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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What do you think of in the first 5 seconds when you hear the term "social engineering"?
Trivial Things that annoy you


Greetings Sir Ludovic, please to enter your Dope password because it has been
  #73  
Old 01-17-2018, 12:45 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Thread title / last poster combo:

What Happens When Your Child Outgrows Their Nanny?
Hilarity N. Suze
  #74  
Old 01-17-2018, 09:23 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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What do you think of in the first 5 seconds when you hear the term "social engineering"?
Yer father's mustache?


Maybe, at least that's what I think of.
  #75  
Old 01-18-2018, 07:28 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Would this be murder?
Lights dim when blow-dryer is turned on


...then Molly misses a step and falls down the basement stairs.

Diabolical!
  #76  
Old 01-18-2018, 08:06 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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If healthy young adults are dying from the flu this year why aren't fatalities higher?
Car overheated, Heater clamped off, is that why?


No, you're thinking of the plague, when people who habitually were near fires were affected less because the heat drove the fleas away.
  #77  
Old 01-18-2018, 01:51 PM
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CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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California couple charged with torture after police rescue 13 children.

I have neighbours from hell.



I'll bet they're not as bad as the ones that California couple's neighbors had
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It was then that he noticed that the Thing in the room with him consisted of a mass of hideously twisting tentacles and pseudopods, writhing in all directions, each of them an unworldly shade of green or yellow, with a nacreous glossy sheen.
---The Call of Chihuli
  #78  
Old 01-18-2018, 06:06 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Song you didn't fully understand until...
Instant Pot - tell me about this trendy new gizmo


Dude, have you really listened to the airport noises in On The Run. They, like, represent the futility and alienation of modern life, man.
  #79  
Old 01-19-2018, 10:41 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Impending landslide near Yakima
Love always finds a way


  #80  
Old 01-19-2018, 03:28 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Very heavy weight presses on laptop, which components likely to fail?
Would this be murder?


"You bought a laptop. You named it 'Brad'."
  #81  
Old 01-20-2018, 08:34 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Beatles songs showing Tin Pan Alley influences
Lemon pie


The song's title is "Honey Pie"
  #82  
Old 01-20-2018, 09:34 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Nice, I was trying to think of that song too!
  #83  
Old 01-20-2018, 12:52 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
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What is the scariest experience you have ever had?
Let's Make a Chess Set....of Birds

...The Birds.
  #84  
Old 01-20-2018, 03:59 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Two vicious pitbulls are coming towards me. What's my best plan of action?
Ordering Prime Rib..

Good idea. If throwing it at them doesn't work, it'll make a great last meal.
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Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.
  #85  
Old 01-20-2018, 05:35 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Has anyone ever taken a pet to the vet just because something doesn't FEEL right?
I think I have a corneal ulcer. Can urgent care do anything?


More chance of helping there than going to a vet. On the other hand, a vet might be able to help if your throat is feeling a little horse.
  #86  
Old 01-21-2018, 10:49 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What is the scariest experience you have ever had?
The President's Physical.


  #87  
Old 01-21-2018, 11:36 AM
Leo Krupe Leo Krupe is offline
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Any takers on what killed Tom Petty?
Lemon pie


For the sake of the seven seas! Stay away from the lemon pie!
  #88  
Old 01-21-2018, 03:15 PM
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Have you ever puked in bed? (not drunk)
Looking For Opinions On Mattresses


Yeah, I'd be look for a new mattress, too.
  #89  
Old 01-22-2018, 02:14 AM
Senegoid Senegoid is offline
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Looking on the dark side . . .

California couple charged with torture after police rescue 13 children
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny L.A. View Post
I saw something about police considering bringing dogs in to look for bodies.
Human bones found in back yard
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Last edited by Senegoid; 01-22-2018 at 02:15 AM.
  #90  
Old 01-22-2018, 07:43 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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For those that have been to Hollywood, LA
Question for those of you who got married at Disneyland/world
Do you think America is the most tribalistic culture?


Let's all sing:

M-I-C-K-E-Y D-I-V-O-R-C-E!
  #91  
Old 01-22-2018, 08:52 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Post your unpopular opinions
Good countries in Africa to visit
Do you think America is the most tribalistic culture?


Is America more tribalistic than Africa?
  #92  
Old 01-22-2018, 03:24 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?
Wilt Chamberlain's Abilities (Outrageous Claims?)


T. Rex couldn't outrebound Wilt, or defend the rim.
  #93  
Old 01-22-2018, 07:02 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Hi, I'm Tripler. I'm an adult. . . and I play with Legos.
RATS!
  #94  
Old 01-23-2018, 07:56 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Do bigger shoe sizes have thicker soles?
why didnt any Dinosaurs survive?


Lack of arch support?
  #95  
Old 01-23-2018, 08:40 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Hi, I am Luciano700 and I joined you guys today
Dude: are you 50 or 15?????


No hitting on people on the boards, please

Gunfire is not a sub for an alarm clock
What is the scariest experience you have ever had?


Being woken up by gunfire before the alarm went off! Cost me 30 minutes of snooze time.
  #96  
Old 01-24-2018, 08:53 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Juicy family secrets you learned as an adult?
People eating Tide pods


I wouldn't call Tide pods "juicy."
  #97  
Old 01-24-2018, 10:16 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Do you know of Bob and Doug McKenzie?
Homosexual Woodworms


I don't think you know them.
  #98  
Old 01-24-2018, 11:09 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Put on pants.
A Cecil spotting


Huh, now we know what Cecil's day job is.
  #99  
Old 01-24-2018, 06:22 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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What is the scariest experience you have ever had?
Human bones found in back yard


Look out! There's a skeleton! Inside of you!
  #100  
Old 01-24-2018, 08:01 PM
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Colibri Colibri is offline
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First time in Paris next month
Put on pants.


Thanks for the heads up!
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