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Old 03-29-2020, 02:40 PM
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Omnibus "religious people who think they control the virus" thread.


There are plenty of them to go around, but the one that finally caused me to start this is Kenneth Copeland, who commands the virus by calling it "doggone."
(This thread may also encompass religious people who know why God sent the virus, and religious people who still think that it is Fake News.)
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Old 03-29-2020, 02:56 PM
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Let's not leave out those who believe God will protect them from the virus, as Ken Ham evidently did before deciding to close the Ark.
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:06 PM
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May the good lord call them home. Let us pray...
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:12 PM
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Here's an article about 500 idiots who crammed into a church service in Louisiana

These people are endangering human life. They are equivalent to drunk drivers - they don't know who they might kill and don't care.
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:19 PM
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Well, you gotta hand it to the Pope, who seems to understand why he's one of only two people in St. Peter's Square.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/pope-...b6614922683db4
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:29 PM
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Here is an Indian Sikh pastor who caught it at a Holy Moly festival and brought it home with him.
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:34 PM
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May the good lord call them home. Let us pray...
We're already down one idiot.
Quote:
A Virginia man who downplayed the seriousness of the coronavirus as merely the media "pumping out fear" has died after contracting the virus.

Landon Spradlin, 66, a pastor and traveling musician, died on Wednesday, March 25, at a hospital in North Carolina after testing positive for COVID-19.

As first reported by Patch, nearly two weeks before his death Spradlin shared a meme on his Facebook page suggesting the media "can manipulate your life."
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:34 PM
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God did warn us that 4 of His horses of the Apocalypse got out of the barn, if we do see them we should let Him know so His Son can come here and get them back to heaven.

Or something like that.

Carry on.
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:46 PM
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Coachella Valley Catholic Church stays open:
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Worshipers filled St. Louis Catholic Church in Cathedral City on Sunday for Mass despite a warning from Riverside County's top health official to avoid large gatherings amid coronavirus concerns.
They said they weren’t acting in defiance; they were seeking comfort.
“We believe in God and he’ll help protect us against coronavirus,” Cathedral City resident Jacqueline Gomez, 18, said as she arrived with her sister and parents.

Last edited by Czarcasm; 03-29-2020 at 03:47 PM.
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Old 03-29-2020, 03:51 PM
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From a slightly different angle, alcoholic beverages are illegal in the Islamic Republic of Iran, and a rumor started that drinking methanol, which is an ingredient in antifreeze and is highly toxic in extremely small amounts, would cure or prevent COVID. At least 300 people are known to have died as a result.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...-a9429956.html
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Old 03-29-2020, 04:01 PM
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And GOD said: "Well, I did send all those doctor warnings..."

(based on this old joke:
SPOILER:
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."

To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."

To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"

To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
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Old 03-29-2020, 04:02 PM
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We're already down one idiot.
"As first reported by Patch, nearly two weeks before his death Spradlin shared a meme on his Facebook page suggesting the media "can manipulate your life."

And publish your obituary!
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Old 03-29-2020, 04:19 PM
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"As first reported by Patch, nearly two weeks before his death Spradlin shared a meme on his Facebook page suggesting the media "can manipulate your life."

And publish your obituary!

Did the obit include an editorial "Hah!"?
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Old 03-29-2020, 05:32 PM
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Liberty University Brings Back Its Students, and Coronavirus Fears, Too
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So Mr. Falwell — a staunch ally of President Trump and an influential voice in the evangelical world — reopened the university last week, igniting a firestorm. As of Friday, Dr. Eppes said, nearly a dozen Liberty students were sick with symptoms that suggested Covid-19, the disease caused by the virus. Three were referred to local hospital centers for testing. Another eight were told to self-isolate.
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Of the 1,900 students who initially returned last week to campus, Mr. Falwell said more than 800 had left. But he said he had “no idea” how many students had returned to off-campus housing.

“If I were them, I’d be more nervous,” he added, because they live in more crowded conditions.

For critical weeks in January and February, the nation’s far right dismissed the seriousness of the pandemic. Mr. Falwell derided it as an “overreaction” driven by liberal desires to damage Mr. Trump.
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Old 03-29-2020, 05:56 PM
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The thing is, the religious right wing can pivot from:

"The virus is a fake liberal hoax designed to damage Dear Leader Trump"

to

"Dear Leader Trump knew all along how serious the virus was, and he was stopped by the horrible liberal secularists from helping us"

And they can do this in the space of about two minutes. Without a doubt in their mind that they have had the second thought all along.
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Old 03-29-2020, 06:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic View Post
The thing is, the religious right wing can pivot from:

"The virus is a fake liberal hoax designed to damage Dear Leader Trump"

to

"Dear Leader Trump knew all along how serious the virus was, and he was stopped by the horrible liberal secularists from helping us"

And they can do this in the space of about two minutes. Without a doubt in their mind that they have had the second thought all along.
And they can do this in the space of about .00002 seconds.
FTFY.
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Old 03-29-2020, 06:48 PM
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These people are endangering human life. They are equivalent to drunk drivers - they don't know who they might kill and don't care.
I haven’t heard that analogy but it’s a good one.

Basically some people think that they are willing to take the risk but don’t realize that they are also forcing others to take that risk.
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Old 03-29-2020, 06:49 PM
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Crossposted from a different thread, another dead preacher thought:
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“We’re not able to break bread, sit down and eat with each other because Caesar is mandating how we conduct ourselves using the pretext of this virus to be able to conduct our lives and run our lives for us,” he continued.

He then began listing various discussions and conspiracy theories that have been circulating online and in discussion groups about the virus.

“Now, here’s a theory. It was brought to my attention that this virus thing, people die from the flu more than they’ve died from this virus. In my opinion, death is death. I don’t care what it’s by. But I listened and they say well, it’s something that’s come up. And now everything is being shut down, borders are being closed, and they’re gonna come up with a vaccine because they are keeping everybody away from each other just so that they can install martial law,” Hampton said.

“They’re gonna come up with a vaccine and in that vaccine everybody is gonna have to take it … and inside of that vaccine there’s going to be some type of electronic computer device that’s gonna put some type of chip in you and maybe even have some mood, mind-altering circumstances … and they’re saying that the chip would be the mark of the beast,” he continued.

He then noted that some people have even been saying that the coronavirus is a sign of the last days before urging Christians not to get caught up in the “paranoia” surrounding the virus.
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Old 03-29-2020, 06:56 PM
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Let's not leave out those who believe God will protect them from the virus, as Ken Ham evidently did before deciding to close the Ark.
Since these people think God will cure them, let's make sure they are at the end of the line for ventilators.

I wonder if the Darwin Award people can do a mass awarding.
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Old 03-29-2020, 07:06 PM
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The fundamentalists in Pakistan know how to handle things:
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And the extremist clerics who often heckle or march against the civilian government, with the tacit approval of the military, are refusing to help. They largely ignored Mr. Khan’s call to limit Friday prayer gatherings. And even after the military deployed to try to enforce a lockdown, several clerics made videos that went viral in recent days, urging Pakistanis to come back to the mosques to worship.

To avoid mosques on Fridays would only invite God’s wrath at a time when people need his mercy, the clerics warned.

“We cannot skip Friday prayers because of fears of coronavirus,” said Shabbir Chand, a trader who attended a packed service in Karachi, the country’s biggest city. “Instead, we should gather in even larger numbers in mosques to pray to God to protect us from this fatal disease.
From a frightening NYT article (paywalled or use up a free view).

ETA: And in a nation with teeming, crowded urban centres, wall to wall poverty, and very limited healthcare. The mind reels.

Last edited by KarlGauss; 03-29-2020 at 07:09 PM.
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Old 03-29-2020, 07:23 PM
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The Westboro Baptist Church says God sent the virus as a punishment for the US tolerance of homosexuality. Hinest, it was on their sign last week.
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:07 PM
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Leaders of major Orthodox Jewish organizations called on followers to heed social distancing advisories.

Others thought God would protect them.
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:12 PM
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That link is fucked up.
Quote:
�t5���R��>m�*�K�9�p@���,_{l�/��8&��̚���$��~��u(]
�3I���瑏�Ց[Pq�͓���r��?M҄%��-_��d]�,��I������;+���i�� ���+����a`��B�� �I��I�!�<�ӄ/
It goes on for a long time, too.

Last edited by Miller; 03-30-2020 at 11:19 AM. Reason: Fixed quote box making the thread width wonky
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:24 PM
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The fundamentalists in Pakistan know how to handle things:From a frightening NYT article (paywalled or use up a free view).

ETA: And in a nation with teeming, crowded urban centres, wall to wall poverty, and very limited healthcare. The mind reels.
They should know better, as the 1918-19 flu killed between 12 and 18 million on the Indian subcontinent (there was no Pakistan then). This could do just as much damage even with a lower death rate considering the size of the population...

But people who don't (or won't) learn from history are condemned to repeat it...over and over and over...
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:40 PM
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That link is fucked up.It goes on for a long time, too.
Works fine on my iPhone.
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:40 PM
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When this story from Bangladesh came out, a lot of us thought it was actually from The Onion or some similar fake news website, with a stock photo.

It wasn't.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-51956510
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic View Post
The thing is, the religious right wing can pivot from:

"The virus is a fake liberal hoax designed to damage Dear Leader Trump"

to

"Dear Leader Trump knew all along how serious the virus was, and he was stopped by the horrible liberal secularists from helping us"

And they can do this in the space of about two minutes. Without a doubt in their mind that they have had the second thought all along.
Quote:
Originally Posted by running coach View Post
And they can do this in the space of about .00002 seconds.
FTFY.
Like the old Boston band Siege once said - "Sad But True" - these Chosen Ones just plug their brain cords into their Fox-only tv sets, and at the first blurting of a Stu Varney, they'll make that rapier-quick pivot (okay maybe not .00002 seconds). They're as unreachable as the "better Russian n'Democrat" xenophobes (huh, how do you like that for an oxymoron?), or any of the other usual "burn it to the ground" suspects - amazing how Trumpists have become not just ideologically but actually physically, toxically repellent as well. Apt - horrifically so - this truly lethal, physical manifestation, of (AFAIC) that ugliness infesting inside them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Voyager View Post
Since these people think God will cure them, let's make sure they are at the end of the line for ventilators.

I wonder if the Darwin Award people can do a mass awarding.
With the awards event held at Liberty or Westboro Baptist.
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Old 03-29-2020, 08:52 PM
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The only reason I would point at video of this preacher is when a poster at The DailyKos , that investigates and denounces very ugly misleading information, talks about it:

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/202...d-to-hear-this
Quote:
Just listen to it and understand why we all live in the same country, but different realities …
Quote:
Basically this pastor is a trump supporter trying to explain why we have the Virus, who created it (Deep State of course: Obama and Hillary). He got his information from “very well connected sources”. It has to do with 5G. He connects 9/11 and coronavirus. He explains why trump didn’t do anything at first. Then how he was forced to do things (by the media and illuminati).
This BTW was a video shown by one superior at my workplace, I did risk being fired by complaining right away when at the beginning there was a "the stupid, it burns" statement from the preacher, that anyone with the symptoms should never get a vaccine... when there is no vaccine available yet... and that is not how vaccines work.
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:00 PM
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Missed edit: was hoping to delete my response to Voyager's post.

I'd rather those folk not do that, actually.
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:06 PM
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That link is fucked up.It goes on for a long time, too.
Works now. First time I've ever heard of Jewish Halloween. (Other than the sex act.)
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:19 PM
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This BTW was a video shown by one superior at my workplace, I did risk being fired by complaining right away when at the beginning there was a "the stupid, it burns" statement from the preacher, that anyone with the symptoms should never get a vaccine... when there is no vaccine available yet... and that is not how vaccines work.

Where do you work where you have to listen to management's religous preaching?
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:33 PM
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Works now. First time I've ever heard of Jewish Halloween. (Other than the sex act.)
Purim. A festivity associated with the reading of the Book of Esther. As to the sex act, hey, it's a mitzvah!
  #33  
Old 03-29-2020, 09:36 PM
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I've heard of Purim, just didn't know kids dressed as clowns and vampires for it. ("Jewish Halloween" was from the article.)
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:47 PM
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I've heard of Purim, just didn't know kids dressed as clowns and vampires for it. ("Jewish Halloween" was from the article.)
I also learned that from this board, but a while back when some were talking about costumes.

The thing I like the most is Purim Torah where they take the same types of arguments that are used in Jewish Law to come to absurd conclusions.
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:51 PM
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Where do you work where you have to listen to management's religous preaching?
I work part time for a couple of schools, one of them a public charter one. Incidentally no, there is no preaching, but that day a friend of management who was a preacher came for a visit. The conversation drifted from school issues to some end of days chat, the superior then was inspired to show him a "great video" that was sent by e-mail about the situation... it was not directed at me, but on those "open" offices, it is impossible for all others not to be a part of it.
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Old 03-29-2020, 09:52 PM
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The thing I like the most is Purim Torah where they take the same types of arguments that are used in Jewish Law to come to absurd conclusions.
So--like regular Torah?
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Old 03-29-2020, 10:43 PM
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I work part time for a couple of schools, one of them a public charter one. Incidentally no, there is no preaching, but that day a friend of management who was a preacher came for a visit. The conversation drifted from school issues to some end of days chat, the superior then was inspired to show him a "great video" that was sent by e-mail about the situation... it was not directed at me, but on those "open" offices, it is impossible for all others not to be a part of it.

Sounds illegal to me, especially if it's obvious that it's impossible to keep it private.
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Old 03-29-2020, 10:44 PM
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Works now. First time I've ever heard of Jewish Halloween. (Other than the sex act.)

Dare I ask, what sex act?
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Old 03-29-2020, 10:59 PM
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Sounds illegal to me, especially if it's obvious that it's impossible to keep it private.
I think so too... but it is a miracle that I'm working now. (Not for my complaint then, but because of the Corona issue)

So, at least I got the pleasure of the superior telling me in the end, in a loud voice to me and others, that we should not discuss politics in the office!.. I know him enough to know (and the following day nothing was mentioned, so business as usual now) that the admonition was both for me and for him too when on that day I printed almost in real time the debunkings that were available already...

Last edited by GIGObuster; 03-29-2020 at 11:02 PM.
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Old 03-29-2020, 11:19 PM
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One thing that bothers me about most religious followers is that they often pick and choose selected parts of their religion to comply with depending on their own personal preferences. At least in this case, it's an example of believers complying with their religious guidelines even if it means great harm to them. If God says people should be in church no matter what, then going to church during the virus outbreak is just following along with God's will. Most believers would come up with a justification as to why it's okay to stay home even though God says they have to go to church.

Which religions have a god which commands going to church? I didn't think the Christian god mandated going to church. I thought it was more about praying to God, but I don't know if the Bible says you have to go to church to do it. Are the people gathering in churches following cultural conventions or are they obeying a mandate from their god?
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Old 03-29-2020, 11:42 PM
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Dare I ask, what sex act?
Ask and ye shall receive:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sh...made-of-these/
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Last edited by pool; 03-29-2020 at 11:42 PM.
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Old 03-30-2020, 01:27 AM
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The only reason I would point at video of this preacher is when a poster at The DailyKos , that investigates and denounces very ugly misleading information, talks about it:

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/202...d-to-hear-this



This BTW was a video shown by one superior at my workplace, I did risk being fired by complaining right away when at the beginning there was a "the stupid, it burns" statement from the preacher, that anyone with the symptoms should never get a vaccine... when there is no vaccine available yet... and that is not how vaccines work.
One is tempted to excuse this as desperate people in desperate times. In fact these are dangerous people in dangerous times.

YouTube/Google (the video is on YouTube) announced that they were cracking down on this type of content...curiously there is still no appropriate category to flag it under.

CMC fnord!
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Old 03-30-2020, 01:53 AM
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One is tempted to excuse this as desperate people in desperate times. In fact these are dangerous people in dangerous times.

YouTube/Google (the video is on YouTube) announced that they were cracking down on this type of content...curiously there is still no appropriate category to flag it under.

CMC fnord!
I could only find Spam/Misleading and then Scams/Fraud, I did send it with the commentary that it is misleading people in the extreme about how vaccines work. No category or place to add this proper reply:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

'Mr Madison Sandy, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.'
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Old 03-30-2020, 03:09 AM
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The Greek Orthodox Church in Australia seem desperate to lower their numbers https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-03-...-them/12055476 they are building an aged home next to their church in my suburb, good luck finding any elderly parishioners left to fill the beds come opening.
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Old 03-30-2020, 04:33 AM
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There are plenty of them to go around, but the one that finally caused me to start this is Kenneth Copeland, who commands the virus by calling it "doggone."
Oh, yeah, ordering god around always ends well....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Euphonious Polemic View Post
Here's an article about 500 idiots who crammed into a church service in Louisiana

These people are endangering human life. They are equivalent to drunk drivers - they don't know who they might kill and don't care.
Yeah. I'd be inclined to allow the self-elimination of the idiots except their kids don't get a say in what happens and they are now a danger to the rest of us. I don't want their stupidity to kill rational, intelligent human beings. Actually, I don't even particularly want to see the religious nutters get sick and die, either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bobot View Post
Well, you gotta hand it to the Pope, who seems to understand why he's one of only two people in St. Peter's Square.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/pope-...b6614922683db4
That is because, despite many deep flaws, the Catholic Church is more rational, more learned, and more reasonable that the whacko sects. Which is not to say I think Catholicism is in an objective sense rational or reasonable, just that it's less batshit crazy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Leaders of major Orthodox Jewish organizations called on followers to heed social distancing advisories.

Others thought God would protect them.
This pandemic really seems like it might take out some of the more whack-a-loon religious types, doesn't it?

The Jews in my neighborhood have been worshiping at home on the Sabbath and live-streamed Purim services. Passover will be a lot less elaborate affair than usual - I'm getting the delivery option since I live alone. Even our Hasidics are staying home and self-isolating.

I guess what I'm saying is that not every religious person is an idiot.
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Old 03-30-2020, 04:34 AM
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Dare I ask, what sex act?
It is like Mexican Halloween, only reversed.
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Old 03-30-2020, 04:39 AM
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curiously there is still no appropriate category to flag it under.
d!
They could borrow this.
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Old 03-30-2020, 12:32 PM
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And GOD said: "Well, I did send all those doctor warnings..."

(based on this old joke:
SPOILER:
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, "Jump in, I can save you."

The stranded fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me."

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. "The fellow in the motorboat shouted, "Jump in, I can save you."

To this the stranded man said, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, "Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety."

To this the stranded man again replied, "No thanks, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith."

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, "I had faith in you but you didn't save me, you let me drown. I don't understand why!"

To this God replied, "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
What you call a joke I think of as one of the very few pieces of glurge I actually like.

I'm also quite fond of The Screwtape Letters.

Re Purim

Before the stay at home orders were issued, a local chasidic group made the news by cancelling their annual Purim fest. They party usually drew a few thousand.

I'm personally more upset that I won't be able to get together with friends for Passover.
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Old 03-30-2020, 12:37 PM
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"Scamvangelist". I likey!
  #50  
Old 03-30-2020, 01:35 PM
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Needless to say, It is backfiring horribly, both for him and the students that returned...and got sick.
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