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  #51  
Old 03-30-2020, 02:02 PM
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Here is an Indian Sikh pastor who caught it at a Holy Moly festival and brought it home with him.
It's called Hola Mohalla, not "Holy Moly".
  #52  
Old 03-30-2020, 02:24 PM
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It's called Hola Mohalla, not "Holy Moly".
Go during a global pandemic? Sounds like "Holy Moly!" to me.
(Note--if this sounds to you like I am mocking someone's religious culture, you are very astute.)
  #53  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:17 PM
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https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...xop?li=BBnbcA1

This pastor claims he has a machine to destroy the virus, and will cure the whole state of Florida. It's one of those mega-churches. There's a warrant out for his arrest, as he's still had big services.
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  #54  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:19 PM
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These Christians don't grasp the difference between faith in God, and presumption of God. The former is faith, the latter is believing God will give you something He never said He would (i.e., safety from a virus when deliberately putting yourself in the virus' harm way.)
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Old 03-30-2020, 03:28 PM
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I'm a Christian, and I think you hit it right on the spot. The pastor in the article sounds like a whacko.
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  #56  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:32 PM
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https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...xop?li=BBnbcA1

This pastor claims he has a machine to destroy the virus, and will cure the whole state of Florida. It's one of those mega-churches. There's a warrant out for his arrest, as he's still had big services.
The article you linked says that they are to arrest him, but the article that they linked says that they already have.
  #57  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:45 PM
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"A Florida pastor was arrested Monday one day after his church was packed with worshippers, despite a local "safer-at-home" order that was designed to help curb the spread of coronavirus, reports CBS Tampa affiliate WTSP-TV. A live-stream of the service at The River at Tampa Bay Church showed its crowded main sanctuary.


According to WTSP, the sheriff told church leaders they were in direct violation of the order that was issued by Hillsborough County officials and went into effect Friday. It requires that businesses and organizations considered essential abide by social distancing guidelines and keep people 6 feet away from each other or shut down.
"We received an anonymous tip that Dr. Rodney Howard-Browne refused a request to temporarily stop holding large gatherings at his church," said Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister. "Instead, he was encouraging his large congregation to meet at his church."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronav...pite-pandemic/
Is he a martyr yet?

Last edited by bobot; 03-30-2020 at 03:45 PM. Reason: "
  #58  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:46 PM
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The article you linked says that they are to arrest him, but the article that they linked says that they already have.
He doesn't look like a giant shitbag at all. Fuck him. Hope he dies of it.
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  #59  
Old 03-30-2020, 03:51 PM
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"Give me God's money, you suckers"
  #60  
Old 03-30-2020, 04:01 PM
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Needless to say, It is backfiring horribly, both for him and the students that returned...and got sick.

Quote:
Originally Posted by From your link
Falwell, as the Times notes, fired back with a tweet calling that parent a “dummy.”

If only the Christian Scriptures had something to say, some guidance for how to interact with other people, perhaps something Christ Himself had said...

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Originally Posted by Matthew 5:22 NIV
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
  #61  
Old 03-30-2020, 04:08 PM
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He doesn't look like a giant shitbag at all. Fuck him. Hope he dies of it.
BTW, he also thinks God provides magic toilet paper.
  #62  
Old 03-30-2020, 05:59 PM
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These Christians don't grasp the difference between faith in God, and presumption of God. The former is faith, the latter is believing God will give you something He never said He would (i.e., safety from a virus when deliberately putting yourself in the virus' harm way.)
"For it it written: you shall not test the Lord your God"
  #63  
Old 03-30-2020, 09:40 PM
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"A Florida pastor was arrested Monday one day after his church was packed with worshippers, despite a local "safer-at-home" order that was designed to help curb the spread of coronavirus, reports CBS Tampa affiliate WTSP-TV. A live-stream of the service at The River at Tampa Bay Church showed its crowded main sanctuary.


According to WTSP, the sheriff told church leaders they were in direct violation of the order that was issued by Hillsborough County officials and went into effect Friday. It requires that businesses and organizations considered essential abide by social distancing guidelines and keep people 6 feet away from each other or shut down.
"We received an anonymous tip that Dr. Rodney Howard-Browne refused a request to temporarily stop holding large gatherings at his church," said Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister. "Instead, he was encouraging his large congregation to meet at his church."

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/coronav...pite-pandemic/
Is he a martyr yet?
Someone on another board who lives in that area said that when the police found out that there is a large weapons arsenal at that church, they decided not to arrest him themselves and instead had his lawyer bring him in.

That just boggles my mind that they would do this with a pastor! He's probably made threats, among other things.
  #64  
Old 03-30-2020, 09:57 PM
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That just boggles my mind that they would do this with a pastor!
Why?
  #65  
Old 03-31-2020, 12:35 PM
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Pastor wants to organize a national Dumbstock. (Yes, Shalmanese, I'm aware that he isn't actually calling it "Dumbstock.")
  #66  
Old 03-31-2020, 01:08 PM
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From a slightly different angle, alcoholic beverages are illegal in the Islamic Republic of Iran, and a rumor started that drinking methanol, which is an ingredient in antifreeze and is highly toxic in extremely small amounts, would cure or prevent COVID. At least 300 people are known to have died as a result.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...-a9429956.html
Hah... lightweights...
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  #67  
Old 03-31-2020, 02:52 PM
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Hah... lightweights...
Is that one of those posts a basically decent guy makes without really thinking it all the way through, but regrets after he reconsiders it?
  #68  
Old 03-31-2020, 03:09 PM
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Is that one of those posts a basically decent guy makes without really thinking it all the way through, but regrets after he reconsiders it?
In that story a 5-year-old is now permanently blind after being given methanol to drink. It’s accurate to call him a lightweight but I don’t see the humor in it.
  #69  
Old 03-31-2020, 03:21 PM
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Someone on another board who lives in that area said that when the police found out that there is a large weapons arsenal at that church, they decided not to arrest him themselves and instead had his lawyer bring him in.
I wonder if the arsenal included a holy hand grenade.
I wonder how many in his congregation will die from the stupid.
  #70  
Old 03-31-2020, 05:16 PM
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Yeah, I know I already started a thread about this, but Saudi Arabia shut down Umrah, the year-round pilgrimages to Mecca, last month, and is encouraging people not to do the Hajj, which is scheduled for July, this year, at least until further notice.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/saudi-...ovid-1.5516368
  #71  
Old 03-31-2020, 05:23 PM
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Pastor wants to organize a national Dumbstock. (Yes, Shalmanese, I'm aware that he isn't actually calling it "Dumbstock.")
Committing mass suicide to own the libs.
  #72  
Old 03-31-2020, 06:03 PM
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I've heard of Purim, just didn't know kids dressed as clowns and vampires for it. ("Jewish Halloween" was from the article.)
Blood is traif.
  #73  
Old 03-31-2020, 06:19 PM
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Is that one of those posts a basically decent guy makes without really thinking it all the way through, but regrets after he reconsiders it?
I don't know, I don't regret the joke, which very clearly is a joke, i.e. the notion that one can build up a tolerance to antifreeze as one might to alcohol, and further in the context of a Pit thread created specifically to mock ignorance. The receiver's response is up to them.
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  #74  
Old 03-31-2020, 07:13 PM
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Anecdotal story, I was driving by a Subway today that had a ratty looking old SUV in the parking lot pulled close to the main road. It had two guys in the seat and a huge billboard type sign on the top with miscellaneous other signs all over it.

The gist of the signs was that Coronavirus was a divine punishment. One sign said something like "national sins create national calamities".
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  #75  
Old 03-31-2020, 08:12 PM
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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints back on 12 March 2020 suspended all worship services worldwide. On 25 March 2020, they closed all temples worldwide. On 19 March 2020, they announced General Conference will go on, but the only people present will be the handful of speakers and those giving the opening and closing prayers; music for the conference will be played from recordings; the conference will be broadcast via the usual ways (Internet, TV, etc.).

Looks to me like a plan. And speaking of planning, this is on the church's web site.

Last edited by Monty; 03-31-2020 at 08:15 PM.
  #76  
Old 03-31-2020, 09:27 PM
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Mormons are supposed to keep a year's worth of non-perishables on hand anyway.
  #77  
Old 03-31-2020, 09:43 PM
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Another pastor is charged. Police chief says

Quote:
"Instead of showing the strength and resilience of our community during this difficult time, Mr. Spell has chosen to embarrass us for his own self-promotion,"
  #78  
Old 03-31-2020, 11:53 PM
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I wonder if the arsenal included a holy hand grenade.
I'm wondering if the church count of the arsenal was 60% of the law enforcement count ("One, two,... FIVE!")
  #79  
Old 04-01-2020, 05:57 AM
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The gist of the signs was that Coronavirus was a divine punishment.
It is. See Exodus 32 (NIV):

31 So Moses went back to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold. 32 But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written.”

33 The Lord replied to Moses, “Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book. 34 Now go, lead the people to the place I spoke of, and my angel will go before you. However, when the time comes for me to punish, I will punish them for their sin.”

35 And the Lord struck the people with a plague because of what they did with the calf Aaron had made.
  #80  
Old 04-01-2020, 08:20 AM
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Bit of a delayed reaction, though; isn't it?
  #81  
Old 04-01-2020, 08:38 AM
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Bit of a delayed reaction, though; isn't it?
God don't punch clocks.
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  #82  
Old 04-01-2020, 09:04 AM
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Remember: when bad things happen to other people, that's God punishing them. But when bad things happen to you, that's God testing you.
  #83  
Old 04-01-2020, 12:14 PM
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Remember: when bad things happen to other people, that's God punishing them. But when bad things happen to you, that's God testing you.
<church lady> Well isn't that convenient. </cl>
  #84  
Old 04-01-2020, 12:23 PM
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Lately, people have been hanging red scarves and such at their front doors. Some 21st century blood on the doorpost, I guess.
  #85  
Old 04-01-2020, 02:24 PM
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Lately, people have been hanging red scarves and such at their front doors. Some 21st century blood on the doorpost, I guess.
Nuts. I was planning on painting a slap-dash black cross on my front door if I contracted it.
  #86  
Old 04-02-2020, 11:49 AM
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Another pastor is charged. Police chief says
And Roy Moore to the rescue!
  #87  
Old 04-02-2020, 12:15 PM
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Let them all come to the church, then build a wall around it and issue a 90-day pray-in-place order. When they start begging for protective supplies, toss some bibles over the wall.
I could get behind that.

A lot of people believe the universe will bend to their will. Their ranks are going to be thinned.
  #88  
Old 04-02-2020, 01:49 PM
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The Governor of Florida issues a "stay at home" order, but exempts religious services. WTF?
  #89  
Old 04-02-2020, 01:54 PM
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The Governor of Florida issues a "stay at home" order, but exempts religious services. WTF?
He's letting God sort 'em out.
  #90  
Old 04-02-2020, 03:03 PM
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Lately, people have been hanging red scarves and such at their front doors. Some 21st century blood on the doorpost, I guess.
It IS almost Passover!
  #91  
Old 04-03-2020, 06:27 AM
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The massacre at Beziers


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He's letting God sort 'em out.
Beziers in 1209 had a mixed population of Catholics and "heretics". The Abbott in charge of the attack is supposed to have said "Kill them all, God will know his own". Wikipedia.
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Old 04-03-2020, 06:28 AM
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The massacre at Beziers


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He's letting God sort 'em out.
Beziers in 1209 had a mixed population of Catholics and "heretics". The Abbott in charge of the attack is supposed to have said "Kill them all, God will know his own". Wikipedia. Sorry if I'm teaching you to suck eggs.
  #93  
Old 04-03-2020, 06:59 AM
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To the highly religious, a church service, and many of them, is an essential service, and should be encouraged, even mandated.

To the highly rational, not so much.
  #94  
Old 04-03-2020, 07:55 AM
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Eh, many "highly religious" are managing with online services and prayer meetings. I'll be interested to see the Zoom backgrounds for Passover seders.
  #95  
Old 04-03-2020, 07:58 AM
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Eh, many "highly religious" are managing with online services and prayer meetings. I'll be interested to see the Zoom backgrounds for Passover seders.
Mine will have dinosaurs. Definitely dinosaurs.
  #96  
Old 04-03-2020, 08:25 AM
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I don't know, I don't regret the joke, which very clearly is a joke, i.e. the notion that one can build up a tolerance to antifreeze as one might to alcohol, and further in the context of a Pit thread created specifically to mock ignorance. The receiver's response is up to them.
You’re Gilbert Gottfried in real life, aren’t you?
  #97  
Old 04-03-2020, 10:01 AM
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We must not forget that, thanks to an ... expansive ... reading by the Supreme Court, corporations can now covered as "religious people". So I bring you, for a encore, Hobby Lobby. Thanks to a vision from God that the owners' wife had, they're attempting to stay open, coercing workers to report for the apparently "essential" job of being paid like shit for putting your life and the life of everyone you come into contact with on the line for crafts.

Colorado, at least, has the balls to issue a cease and desist letter to Hobby Lobby. “You are directed to immediately close all Hobby Lobby locations within the State of Colorado,” the directive, signed by W. Eric Kuhn, senior assistant attorney general, said. “Immediate compliance is compulsory, and any future or continuing non-compliance will be subject to the full force and effect of injunctive relief.”". I'm kinda hoping Hobby Lobby files suit asserting a religious right to stay open despite the quarantine. That would be fun.

Last edited by Hamlet; 04-03-2020 at 10:02 AM.
  #98  
Old 04-03-2020, 11:08 AM
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Eh, many "highly religious" are managing with online services and prayer meetings. I'll be interested to see the Zoom backgrounds for Passover seders.
With green-screen effects for the invisible prophet Elijah?
  #99  
Old 04-03-2020, 11:37 AM
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I (whatever the opposite of "heart" is) Huckabee.
  #100  
Old 04-03-2020, 02:14 PM
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With green-screen effects for the invisible prophet Elijah?
Elijah has to shelter in place for 14 days before he's allowed in. Maybe a nice cave?
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