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Old 05-21-2020, 09:24 PM
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Beck, you poor dumb thing. (Bad, bad, bad taste in my mouth)


I've been going out on the deck after dark. I'm outdoors part of everyday, gardening and walking.
I'm suffering a little seasonal allergy symptoms. It's not bad.

This morning I woke up with sore throat. I gargled extra good after brushing my teeth.

It's not kept me from my usual activities. I was expecting to talk to someone on the phone this evening.
I went in my bathroom to gargle again because my voice sounds funny. I decided to spray some deadening spray in my throat.

Because of my allergies I've not worn contacts for a few days. I didn't have my glasses. I grab the spray and open my mouth wide and push the sprayer into my mouth.

Oh, god that's bad, bad, bad. I look at the bottle about the same time I smelled: 'Soft-Beauty" body mist.

Yep. I sprayed 'Soft-beauty' body mist into my gaped mouth and down my throat.

After nearly choking and gagging to death, I try to rinse it out of my mouth. No luck. I grab the mouth wash and gargle about 20 times.
I still taste it. I finish with more rinsing with water.
Ok. I think I'll live. I get my tea and take my call. I sip the tea between talking. It tastes sooooo bad.

The person I was talking to just laughed and laughed at my idiocy.
I deserved sympathy. I think.

Call is over.

The lil'wrekker comes in my room to talk to me. She's looking at me funny. What's wrong, I ask her.
She said, "Ma, there's glitter allover your face"
The body mist has glitter in it. Who knew?

Not only did my breath smell curious, I glittered my self up!

Just another chapter in my silly life.
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Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-21-2020 at 09:27 PM.
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Old 05-21-2020, 09:39 PM
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I'd say it sounds cute, but people are already talking.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:01 PM
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I accidentally put hair styling gel on my toothbrush once. Eeeeeew.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:10 PM
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I went on a multi-day primitive (ie no water, just what we carried for cooking) camping trip with the Girl Scouts at the height of my time as a grease-producing, acne-inclined teen. The prospect of several days without enough water to thoroughly clean my face was daunting. However, my dad worked in pharmaceuticals and often got boxes of packet-sized alcohol swabs, which he threw into a basket kept under the bathroom sink. Thinking ahead, I grabbed a handful to take on the trip.

Feeling very greasy and sweaty after the first day, I opened a little packet and smeared it all over my nose (ground zero for oil production). Almost immediately, my entire nose felt ... odd. My skin didn't feel like it had had a cleaning with a nice astringent wipe, it felt stiff and waxy, somehow.

I read the label on the packet I'd just torn open. Turns out it was neutral-colored shoe polish for travelers to tuck in their suitcases. I had just polished my nose.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:32 PM
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My tongue is glittery too.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:40 PM
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Now you can sing Glitter Rock, and with a softly beautiful throat.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:46 PM
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That's what I've always imagined.
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Old 05-21-2020, 11:47 PM
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Quote:
I deserved sympathy. I think
You have my sympathies although I suspect I've got you beat.
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Old 05-22-2020, 12:15 AM
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You have my sympathies although I suspect I've got you beat.
Oh, man. That sounds horrible.

----
Why is there glitter in scented body mist, anyway?
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Old 05-22-2020, 12:27 AM
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When Mr VOW was Sgt VOW and returned from a field exercise (sleeping on rocks and eating dirt) he came home, showered, and went to brush his teeth.

The Son was just a baby.

Sgt VOW reached for his toothbrush and a nearby tube and started brushing away. It didn't feel or taste right.

He was brushing with Desitin.


~VOW
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Old 05-22-2020, 12:32 AM
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I know this happened to me because I told about my baby Brother washing his hair in Preparation H.

Bad Karma.
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Old 05-22-2020, 01:54 AM
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Originally Posted by VOW View Post
When Mr VOW was Sgt VOW and returned from a field exercise (sleeping on rocks and eating dirt) he came home, showered, and went to brush his teeth.

The Son was just a baby.

Sgt VOW reached for his toothbrush and a nearby tube and started brushing away. It didn't feel or taste right.

He was brushing with Desitin.


~VOW
I did that once. Right before I enlisted, I was a restaurant manager. I'd had a spectacularly bad day, ended up working 18 hours then got called in 5 hours later to cover a no show on my day off. Yep, the vaderlings were 2 years and 6 months respectively.

Desitin on the teethbrush was a contributing factor in my decision to become PrivateVader.

Btw VOW, I've been sorta looking for a waffle recipe (not very hard though) that seems like it would fit both our requirements (no sodium but still tasty). Would you have any suggestions?

Last edited by DorkVader; 05-22-2020 at 01:57 AM.
  #13  
Old 05-22-2020, 02:43 AM
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I don't know, ~VOW, I may have just invented something. A thing all the hipster Mommies are gonna want.

Glittery diaper rash paste.

This is gonna make a gazillion bucks.
Yep, ol'Beck might pull off a money making scheme yet!
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Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-22-2020 at 02:44 AM.
  #14  
Old 05-22-2020, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
My tongue is glittery too.
On the bright side, now you can be a Twilight extra.
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Old 05-22-2020, 08:15 AM
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In my 20s I sometimes bought Head & Shoulders shampoo concentrated in a tube. I also used to brush my teeth in the shower. Uh huh.
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Old 05-22-2020, 09:10 AM
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No more dandruff teeth!


~VOW
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Old 05-22-2020, 09:21 AM
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Dorkie, I haven't found the perfect waffle yet. Still looking!

If you are truly serious about eliminating salt, go to Amazon and buy sodium-free baking powder. Then let your fingers do the walking (who is old enough to remember that jingle?) start testing rdcipes.

Damn-near all rdcipes call for salt. Don't put any in, just skip over that ingredient.

ANYTHING you make without salt will taste "flat." It takes time before your tastebuds recalibrate. Just ride it out. In Mr VOW's case, the whole house knew what the no-salt was for: Grampa VOW's heart health.

The sodium-free baking powder is the place to begin.

(or you can get a bread machine)


~VOW
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Old 05-22-2020, 04:54 PM
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Will wonders never cease?

I've done another stoopid thang.
I was making a batch of my 'sooper seekrit spice' mix.
(Recipe if you like, just ask)

I have a new thingy of whole pepper corns that I ground up. Put the funnel in my large Corona beer bottle (kinda appropo, doncha think?)
I poured and at that very moment I breathed in .
After sneezing about 30 times, eyes watering and hacking up glittery pepper dust, I think I'll live.
On the pro side, my sinuses are clear. My allergies have miraculously disappeared

The cats are in the beams!


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Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-22-2020 at 04:55 PM.
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Old 05-22-2020, 06:02 PM
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And I bet your sinuses are DIVINE!


~VOW
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Old 05-22-2020, 09:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
Not only did my breath smell curious, I glittered my self up!

Just another chapter in my silly life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
My tongue is glittery too.
And Beck, think what you have to look forward to -- that will still be glittering when it comes out the other end! Holy Glitterbomb, Batman!

P.S. for semi-oily things like that, gargling with baking soda in water sometimes helps.
  #21  
Old 05-22-2020, 10:26 PM
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Oh no!! That's scary.
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Old 05-24-2020, 09:42 AM
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My tongue is not glittery any more. The Grandwrex got a big charge outta looking at it. So...that was fun, kinda.

New mishap:
Running up and down the stairs, for various reasons is a daily occurrence. I was going up and caught my left pinkie toe on a edge of the carpeted tread. Ouch!
Broken pinkie toe.
Serious pain. Family in an uproar. Everyone has opinions. No one is gonna touch it.
I got tape and taped it to its neighbor and instant relief.

I'll live.
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  #23  
Old 05-24-2020, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I don't know, ~VOW, I may have just invented something. A thing all the hipster Mommies are gonna want.

Glittery diaper rash paste.

This is gonna make a gazillion bucks.
Yep, ol'Beck might pull off a money making scheme yet!
Hey, let me know if you put up a kickstarter. I'll be there.


It's probably got to be organic, gluten free glitter though.
  #24  
Old 05-24-2020, 02:48 PM
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Scold! Scold! Scold!

Barefoot again!

*clobbers Beck on the back of the head with a slipper*


~VOW
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Old 05-24-2020, 04:35 PM
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Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Yes, I'll wear shoes in the house forever more.
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  #26  
Old 05-24-2020, 05:55 PM
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I took the duct tape off my toes. (Yes, I used duct tape, nice pink duct tape)
My pinkie toe is a loverly tone of dark purple.
Oh, crap! I may have to go to the foot doctor. I really, REALLY don't want to do that.

I had the lil'wrekker take pix. Maybe I'll try sending them pix, tomorrow.
Oh, they'll be closed tomorrow.
Aaaarrrggghhh!


ETA: I was sitting in the sunlight. The lil'wrekker took the pix and one of my face. I still have glittery highlights. Ivevtakennat least 4 showers since the body spray incident.
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Last edited by Beckdawrek; 05-24-2020 at 06:00 PM.
  #27  
Old 05-24-2020, 06:10 PM
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Beck, gesundheit, ouch! And LOL glitter "bomb"






Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post
Dorkie, I haven't found the perfect waffle yet. Still looking!

If you are truly serious about eliminating salt, go to Amazon and buy sodium-free baking powder. Then let your fingers do the walking (who is old enough to remember that jingle?) start testing rdcipes.

Damn-near all rdcipes call for salt. Don't put any in, just skip over that ingredient.

ANYTHING you make without salt will taste "flat." It takes time before your tastebuds recalibrate. Just ride it out. In Mr VOW's case, the whole house knew what the no-salt was for: Grampa VOW's heart health.

The sodium-free baking powder is the place to begin.

(or you can get a bread machine)


~VOW
I've never heard of "sodium free baking soda" ( isn't that an oxymoron?) Anyway, no salt doesn't scare me since my family made an adjustment to a restricted salt diet when I was 6. I've been thinking about the recipe I use for waffles. I think I can get away with eliminating the baking powder and soda completely since most of the leavening comes from the beaten egg whites anyway. I'm gonna test it sometime in the next few weeks hopefully.

No bread machine. Bread making is a good time party celebration of good food good friends and over indulgence in wholesome craftwork in the kitchen. Last time I made bread it was eaten as quickly as I pulled it from the pans and none was left of 8 loaves at the end of the day.

Last edited by DorkVader; 05-24-2020 at 06:12 PM.
  #28  
Old 05-24-2020, 07:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
I took the duct tape off my toes. (Yes, I used duct tape, nice pink duct tape)
Pink duct tape? I'd say that deserves a shot of glittery body spray for maximum effect.

Here's one: one of the guys at the sports bar takes a heart pill of some sort every morning. He doesn't need his glasses; he knows where the pills are in the medicine chest without having to read the label. Until the day he went looking for something, and mixed things up a little bit without realizing the possible consequences.

Next morning, he took his pill (without his glasses), like always. And the next day, and the next, for about a week. He was noticing that he was going to the bathroom a lot more. Turns out, he had inadvertently put laxative pills where his heart pills would normally go.

He's now known among the regulars at the sports bar, as "Senokot."
  #29  
Old 05-24-2020, 11:26 PM
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You are just not having a good weekend, Beck.

Moments of poor vision or distraction are why I get annoyed with DH's insistence on leaving a can of Lysol on the kitchen counter. I keep worrying that one of these days, I'll confuse it with cooking spray and toxically disinfect a pan instead of lubricating it.
  #30  
Old 05-25-2020, 03:56 PM
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Do you know what's nice, grown up adults laughing about my poor injured foot?
My pinkie toe HURTS!

Ok. I know I'm a drama queen. I've been breaking toes and taping them my whole life. I was a Pointe dancer many ions ago.

Do you know what's even nicer?
Four Grandwrex who like my 'pink duct tape' and glitter spray (thx, Spoons. Truly inspired) on my left foot. They like it so much I had to find more duct tape. Camo for the boys. Zebra stripe for the girls. Everyone got taped up and every one got glittered up.
I drew a smiley face on 4 cheapo face masks.
So...I have 4 kids running around in a right state! Imagine it, if you will.

I love the fact these kids like everything I do.
I sense world domination could be mine in the right circumstances.


Their Mom's are not to happy about my influence. Too bad.

()
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Old 05-25-2020, 09:46 PM
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And everybody thought I was just goofin way back when, the day I declared you Empress!

Hah! Trust not the Farce, they said.

Just a game, they said.

Uncertain the future is, yes, but the Poorly Lighted Side of The Farce is never wrong!
  #32  
Old 05-26-2020, 12:12 AM
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Well, duct tape IS like the force.

Hard to go wrong with duct tape.
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Old 05-26-2020, 05:05 AM
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This one's for you, Beck. Sung to the Flintstones theme:

Beck's toe!
Look at Beck's toe!
It's a glittery abnormality.

From the
State of Arkansas,
She suffered a toe injury.

Glittering up,
All the Gran-Wrekkers' feet.
They found, when they're taped up,
Pink tape just can't be beat.

Beck's toe,
Look at Beck's toe,
It's a "Can't wear a shoe time,
I'm waiting through time,
I'm gonna walk in time!"

Big Wrrrekkk! ....
  #34  
Old 05-26-2020, 10:00 AM
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Spoons! Dude!

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Old 05-26-2020, 01:25 PM
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Golf clap.
  #36  
Old 05-28-2020, 05:00 PM
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We sent pix of my purple toe and swollen foot to the Podiatrist.
They said to stay home.

Man, I can't get any sympathy.

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Old 05-28-2020, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
We sent pix of my purple toe and swollen foot to the Podiatrist.
They said to stay home.
Maybe try applying some glitter to your purple toe*.
Won't help heal it, but might make it look more pretty & cheerful.


* Externally only, please!
  #38  
Old 05-28-2020, 06:43 PM
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The lil'wrekker brought me a thing of purple sparkly toe nail polish.

Yeah, she thinks she's funny.
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Old 05-28-2020, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Beckdawrek View Post
The lil'wrekker brought me a thing of purple sparkly toe nail polish.

Yeah, she thinks she's funny.
Well, I think she is funny, too!
Better than being all gloomy right now.
  #40  
Old 05-28-2020, 08:23 PM
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She is a blessing to have around.
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