Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #51  
Old 09-14-2011, 04:41 PM
Clothahump is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 14,654
No.

I'm going the med school / cremation route.
  #52  
Old 09-14-2011, 05:15 PM
Biggirl is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Right here
Posts: 18,869
You could turn yourself into a diamond. You do have to be cremated first. I think that's kinda cool, especially since I make jewelry. Hell, I may make a setting to be put into before I die.

I doubt my kids would wanna carry me around in that fashion. I'ma ask them.
  #53  
Old 09-14-2011, 06:01 PM
Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,260
If I do have to have a grave I would like to have a bench near the grave, perhaps with a gas grill or hibachi close at hand. Those are nice when visiting cemeteries.

I have an on-again/off-again fascination with genealogy (well- my own, other people's not so much) and cemetery hopping is a big part of the research for that- you can learn a lot from some headstones, squat from others, and even get hints of the family dynamics. A couple of ancestors even had things like their birthplace, the names of their parents and their kids, and other bio info (military iconography, Masonic symbols, etc.) carved into the headstones which can tell a bit about them.

An interesting thing though is that there's no evidence their graves are ever visited. My great-grandparents died in the 1950s, they had 15 children who lived to adulthood- the last surviving three of whom died within the past decade. They had 70+ grandchildren, quite a few of them still alive. Today their descendants would number in the hundreds at the least and possibly the thousands and yet the times I've been to their cemetery I've never seen anybody at their graves or any evidence it was visited. (Personally I do the "stone on the grave" thing and when I visit I'll see the stone I placed before but no others.)

One of my favorite family cemeteries- one where one of my great-great-grandmothers and various members of her family are buried- is everything an old Alabama cemetery should be: creaking iron gates, Spanish moss, kudzu covered trees across the road and a lake (that wasn't there when the cemetery was formed) in the near distance. It's also one of the few racially integrated cemeteries in the area (why is an interesting story- the black family buried there was very rich and powerful in a time when there were few blacks in Alabama who could say either). The only signs it's ever visited are the cheesy little souvenir shop rebel flags on the Confederate graves and the beer bottles and occasional old used condom in the area. The rebel flags, very weathered anyway, I accidentally picked up and tossed into a trash bag (in the first place the last thing these dudes would probably have wanted to be "honored" for was the most miserable experience of their life, and in the second that's not even the right frigging flag), but the beer bottles and condoms I thought were a nice touch- in the one in sixty quintillion chance that the spirits of those buried have any presence in that cemetery at least they got a nice little floor show.

I don't think, at least after the first year or two anyway, the grave holds any special meaning for anybody. It may be different for somebody who dies young, but for somebody who dies at a 'reasonable' age after the initial mourning is over it's just a headstone and plot of earth. Last year a cemetery where several of my ancestors are buried (the most recent relative in my own line was buried there in 1907, the oldest around 1850) was destroyed by a tornado; the trees were destroyed, most of the markers knocked over and shattered, etc.. I supplied some pics of the graves as they were before to a local group that's getting funds for the repair but I don't plan to contribute money or labor to picking up the headstones as it can never be completely salvaged (it would take decades to grow trees that size back and would cost a bloody fortune to have those marble obelisks put back together without noticeable cracks) and it's money better spent elsewhere. Frankly if the graves of the relatives I did know- my parents and my grandparents for example- were washed away in a flood it wouldn't tear me up, I rarely visit them- really, never visit them except when I'm passing by anyway.


So while I like the aesthete of some cemeteries- they can be really cool places- I don't see them as particularly sacred, just landfills with nice engraving that will very soon be ignored by everyone to whom the deceased had any meaning. Cremation's better: cleaner, more permanent, there's remains if somebody wants to revere them, there's the opportunity to be creative in how you get rid of them, and if they're not of reverence you can flush them, no biggie.

BUT, if I do end up in a cemetery, I want the damned hibachi. And maybe a gay pride flag made from inlaid stones in the headstone.
  #54  
Old 09-14-2011, 10:38 PM
kiz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,771
Personally, I want to be cremated. The cost of burial in my neck of the woods is unbelievable, and I supposedly had the "cheaper" end when I buried my mother, considering we already have a family plot (it's full -- even if I wanted to be buried there right now, I couldn't).

I still visit my long-dead relatives -- the ones who passed way before I was even a glimmer --in the older section of a city cemetery. I think what compels me is the fact that there's seldom a sign anyone visits that section. In the row where my relatives are located are the graves of several young people, ranging in age from 5 to 20 years, all of whom passed in the early to mid 1900s. I always bring flowers for them because, in all the years I've been there, I've never seen any. I never knew them, but they should be remembered, if even by a stranger.

Sampiro is correct, though, in that gravestones provide a very big chunk in the study of genealogy. In my case, I don't have any direct blood descendants, so part of me thinks my body would just be taking up valuable space if I was buried.
  #55  
Old 09-14-2011, 10:56 PM
Dangerosa is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
Posts: 22,555
I love cemeteries, but they aren't the best use of resources. Cremate me. Bury the ashes under a rosebush. Donate a bench with my name on it to a park if you must.
  #56  
Old 09-15-2011, 12:00 AM
kelly5078 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,020
They, whoever they are, can have whatever organs they want, but the rest is going up in smoke. If I could just lie in the ground an rot, that would be okay, but modern burial practices ensure that I'd end up a sloshing anaerobic slime. That doesn't appeal.

Of course, I can easily be overruled.
  #57  
Old 09-15-2011, 12:08 AM
Mr Downtown is offline
Chicago Savant
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Chicago
Posts: 2,478
Nature is OK kept in its place, but I love cities. Especially Chicago. I keep trying to figure out a way to get my ashes mixed in with the concrete for a new skyscraper so I could become part of the skyline.
  #58  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:58 AM
cmyk's Avatar
cmyk is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Central Finite Curve
Posts: 14,253
How much do you think it would cost to have my carcass frozen in carbonite?
  #59  
Old 09-15-2011, 12:41 PM
Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,260
I can't find an online cite but I swear I've read that some Romans were cremated and had their ashes used in little concrete statues for the columbary. I always thought that was cool.
  #60  
Old 09-15-2011, 12:52 PM
Foxy40 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 2,070
Yes or No.

My will specifies that I would like to be cremated and my ashes scattered. HOWEVER, my parents are strict catholics which demand that remains be interred. If I die before they do, I gave my parents permission to have a catholic funeral and inter my ashes if it gives them comfort. Otherwise, dump me in a field somewhere after taking whatever someone else can use. I won't be around to care.
  #61  
Old 09-15-2011, 01:43 PM
missred is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Just east of Music City
Posts: 6,717
I'll be a neighbor to the OP's wife in Knoxville.

Personally, I love traipsing around in old cemeteries, especially ones with cool Victorian cemetery architecture, but absolutely don't want any part of open caskets, embalming, vaults and that stuff. If someone decides to override my wishes and bury me, for Og's sake, go green.

Last edited by missred; 09-15-2011 at 01:44 PM.
  #62  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:10 PM
Infovore's Avatar
Infovore is offline
Doltish Snackhound
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Somewhere fictional
Posts: 11,572
I took a death and dying class in college where they told us exactly what happens to bodies hermetically sealed in those expensive coffins and concrete bunkers. No, thanks. I'd much rather have my body decay normally and eventually become a skeleton than liquefy into a big ol' mess. I like cemeteries and would prefer burial over cremation, but I've instructed the spouse that a simple pine box will do (and no open casket--that's oogy. I don't like people staring at me while I'm alive, so why would I want them doing it when I'm dead?). Aside from the liquefaction issue, I just don't see the point in spending thousands of dollars on something that's going to be buried in the ground and never seen again.

It might be kind of cool to be buried in one of those black pods like they put Spock in, but that's just silly.

Hrm...while looking for the correct spelling of "liquefaction" I came across this...I guess this approach wouldn't be too horrible. Or the "composting" thing at the end of the article.
  #63  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:14 PM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 39,911
Quote:
Originally Posted by DCnDC View Post
I'd like to be stuffed and placed in my chair in front of the TV, and taken on vacation a la Weekend at Bernie's. Might as well get some amusement out of me, what the hell will I care?
I like your attitude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lubricious Integument View Post
Her plan is to spend eternity in Knoxville.
Well I've never been to heaven, but I've been to...um, east Tennessee?

With me, it depends on who dies first. My wife would feel uncomfortable with anything besides a burial, so if I go first, I'm sure I'll get a traditional burial. Hopefully she'll be OK with the harvesting of any usable internal organs first, though.

If I outlive her, and assuming my son is comfortable with the idea (he's 4 now, so he's kinda too young to get a read on that yet), the plan will be to harvest any usable organs, then cremate the rest. Bury a thimbleful in the same gravesite as my wife, then scatter the rest of my ashes along the Highline Trail in Glacier National Park, along the stretch between Haystack Butte and the turnoff to the Grinnell Glacier overlook.
  #64  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:16 PM
FordPrefect is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,438
I plan to have my organs donated and whatever my wife and kids need to find closure they can do. However, if they are happy with my choice, I would add that I want my skeleton to hang in the bio lab of an all-women's nursing school on the off chance that I actually have a soul that haunts my body

Either that, or be immersed in an environment that is conducive to fossilization. Not that I would know it, but it would be cool to not only benefit current science, but possibly science in 200,000 years.
  #65  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:19 PM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
I don't like the "liquefication" route. Too much like turning yourself into soup.

*shuddering*

The "hermetically sealed" caskets and embalming are to make the survivors feel better. Read a few true crime books where the victims have been disinterred for re-autopsy, and the medical examiner gets to handle a moldy, disintegrating corpse.

Nah, just put me in the ground in the pine box or a cut down refrigerator carton (even better) and maybe use a slab of petrified wood to mark the spot, with the words I stated above.

I've already decided on Hubster's epitaph: "Let me gaze upon the heavens I loved so well." He's an amateur astronomer, and we chose our 36 acres in NE AZ for the optimal viewing conditions with his 14 inch telescope. I think I'll save the box from the telescope as his coffin. He'd like that.


~VOW
  #66  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:23 PM
bup is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: glenview,il,usa
Posts: 11,905
I'm an organ donor, and I don't care about being buried or not, but I do think cremation is a waste of biofuel. I'd like to disintegrate the natural way - eaten by micro-organisms, and become some rich soil for plants; or eaten by sharks, or whatever.

If you're going to burn me, at least use the fire to generate electricity or something.
  #67  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:28 PM
Infovore's Avatar
Infovore is offline
Doltish Snackhound
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Somewhere fictional
Posts: 11,572
Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post

I've already decided on Hubster's epitaph: "Let me gaze upon the heavens I loved so well."
I think I'd kind of like mine to say "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."
  #68  
Old 09-15-2011, 02:38 PM
Jophiel's Avatar
Jophiel is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Chicago suburbia
Posts: 19,477
Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post
The "hermetically sealed" caskets and embalming are to make the survivors feel better.
Stops zombies, too. If the legion of reanimated corpses can punch its way through a steel casket and concrete vault, I at least know to give up now. Any "safe room" I try to hole up in will have revenants busting through like the Kool-Aid Man.
  #69  
Old 09-15-2011, 03:45 PM
Khadaji is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Southern Pennsylvania
Posts: 21,599
Probably cremation for me - and then, if there is anyone alive who cares, a scattering of ashes in the mountains in the fall.
  #70  
Old 09-15-2011, 05:45 PM
Biggirl is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Right here
Posts: 18,869
I would also be open to a Sky Burial. But I don't live in Tibet and I can't see anybody but my children going for it.

Since I'm rife with disease, I wonder if any of my parts would be good for harvesting.
  #71  
Old 09-15-2011, 05:56 PM
SciFiSam is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Beffnal Green innit
Posts: 8,482
No. Cremation is the tradition in my family and I'm happy with it. I'll go to All Hallows by the Tower (of London). People pay to go into the crypt where my family's ashes are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Runs With Scissors View Post
I'm ready to be taken to the pit over cemeteries.

Our planet has limited resources, and there are people who want a plot of land for eternity...while they are DEAD???

I think every cemetery that exists now should be physically ground up and turned into parks and developments.
I'm kind of relieved that we have cemeteries in London, even if they're all full. They can't be built over or turned into anything else, so they stay as open areas of public land. Sure, you can't play football on the graves (), but you can breathe fresh air as you walk among the grounds, the soil helps as flood defences, and birds, bees and other animals live there.

BTW, this is how they coped with overcrowding at a cemetery near me.
  #72  
Old 09-15-2011, 06:00 PM
Malthus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Toronto
Posts: 18,184
I'm planning on having my skull made into a drinking cup - that is, if my best friend survives me. We made mutual wills to that effect - the survivor makes the other guy's head into a cup.
  #73  
Old 09-15-2011, 06:24 PM
Laggard is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,713
I only ask that some of my ashes by scattered on Lambeau field.
  #74  
Old 09-15-2011, 06:45 PM
Skald the Rhymer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 27,560
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggirl View Post
I would also be open to a Sky Burial. But I don't live in Tibet and I can't see anybody but my children going for it.

Since I'm rife with disease, I wonder if any of my parts would be good for harvesting.
:: puts on evil hat ::

Oh, we can find a use for them. Yesssss, we can.
  #75  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:01 PM
Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,260
FDR was one of the first famous people to die after embalming came into vogue to request a green burial, though of course the term wasn't used then. He'd originally wanted a burial at sea but Eleanor, who didn't share his fondness for sailing and wasn't former Undersecretary of the Navy, didn't relish the thought so he changed that. He next requested in a document referred to but not included in his will that if possible his remains not to be embalmed (though he acknowledged this might not be feasible or legal) and to be buried in the rose garden at his home in Hyde Park, NYC in a simple wood casket with a cloth bottom. He wanted to decompose among his roses. He did in his will request that his rose garden grave be marked only with a small simple stone with his name inscribed.

He was overruled on several counts. In the first place his family couldn't find his burial instructions until after he'd been buried. Since he died while president and then, like Abraham Lincoln, did a lot of traveling afterwards on special train he was embalmed and retouched several times. He was buried in a heavy and expensive wood and metal coffin. He did get the rose garden request, and the stone that marks his grave is simple in form but none would call it small.

Last edited by Sampiro; 09-15-2011 at 09:02 PM.
  #76  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:05 PM
Chimera is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: In the Dreaming
Posts: 24,689
I think the whole idea of injecting dead bodies with preservatives, then burying them in ornate boxes, sometimes inside concrete vaults....is hideously grotesque.

I've already told my family to cremate me when I die.

But I have a secret liking for the Chum Burial we came up with in that other thread. Put my body through a woodchipper aimed off the side of a ship about 10 miles out to sea.
  #77  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:15 PM
Rhiannon8404's Avatar
Rhiannon8404 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 8,108
I will be cremated and inurned in the family plot which was purchased by my grandparents in 1961. It's all paid for.
  #78  
Old 09-15-2011, 09:43 PM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
I think a variation of the Sky Burial was practiced by some Native American tribes. The dead were placed on elevated platforms and allowed to decompose and be taken by the birds.

I personally wouldn't be too keen on being chopped up and left to lay out on open ground, but the elevation on platforms doesn't seem to be such a grotesque idea. The sky was considered to be the Spirit World and platforms were a way to help the person on his or her way to that destination.

I don't think that would go over too well today, though, in populous areas.

And I still don't want to be turned into soup!

Or incinerated.


~VOW
  #79  
Old 09-16-2011, 12:33 AM
Jaledin is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,061
I would like a nice Irish wake, except there ain't hardly anybody Irish still alive in my family. As for the body, I couldn't care less -- burn the motherfucker. Maybe I'll put it in a will or something -- at the maximum, just a simple shroud. It's obscenely expensive even getting a regular pine box and I'd rather the living put the money for some better use than feting my dead ass.
  #80  
Old 09-16-2011, 12:58 AM
Fear Itself is offline
Cecil's Inner Circle
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 36,028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lubricious Integument View Post
Of course my original plan was to have my remains converted into a diamond to be used as dental bling for my wife, but she gently reminded me that her oath to me ends upon my death.
How can they turn cremains into a diamond? The whole cremation process is specifically designed to separate carbon from your remains and send it up the chimney as gas. Why would there be any carbon left to make diamonds out of? I smell a scam.

Last edited by Fear Itself; 09-16-2011 at 12:59 AM.
  #81  
Old 09-16-2011, 01:04 AM
Fear Itself is offline
Cecil's Inner Circle
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 36,028
Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post
I don't like the "liquefication" route. Too much like turning yourself into soup.

*shuddering*
Google "coffin liquor". Liquefaction happens in caskets as well.
  #82  
Old 09-16-2011, 02:05 AM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
How are cremains turned into a gemstone? Read about the process here: http://www.lifegem.com/

Apparently, not ALL the carbon is turned into carbon dioxide and released as a gas during the process.


~VOW
  #83  
Old 09-16-2011, 02:11 AM
Fear Itself is offline
Cecil's Inner Circle
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 36,028
Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post
How are cremains turned into a gemstone? Read about the process here: http://www.lifegem.com/

Apparently, not ALL the carbon is turned into carbon dioxide and released as a gas during the process.
I did a fair amount of research when that process was announced a few years ago. I am satisfied there is no significant carbon in human cremains, trace levels at most. I still say it is a scam; a good one, since there is no way I can prove that diamond didn't come from Granny's ashes, but a scam none the less.
  #84  
Old 09-16-2011, 02:23 AM
Fear Itself is offline
Cecil's Inner Circle
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 36,028
Ah, here it is:
Quote:
In the cremation of the body, first the water must boil off, since no combustion can occur at temperatures below the boiling point of water. Water accounts for about 70% of total body weight. After that, the carbon-based macromolecules begin to oxidize, breaking down to produce a variety of smaller molecules, most notably organic amines, some of which are volatile and boil or sublimate off (the familiar odors of burning meat, for instance). Other such molecules are further oxidized. Ultimately, the carbon backbone of macromolecules is oxidized completely to carbon dioxide and water vapor. The nitrogenous content of proteins probably boils/sublimates off as small organic amines, and some probably gets completely oxidized to nitrates and possibly nitrogen oxides. The nitrates would become part of the ash, while nitrogen oxides are volatiles. I don't know what happens to the sulfur content of proteins, but presumably some gets boiled off as small organic sulfhydryl or sulfhydryl/amine molecules, while some of the sulfur gets completely oxidized to sulfates (which become part of the ash) or oxides of sulfur (which are volatile) or may even _itself_ oxidize other substances to produce sulfides, some of which are volatile.

Once you get rid of the water and the carbon-based macromolecules (protein, nucleic acids, and carbohydrates), that pretty much leaves you with non-volatiles, which constitutes the ash. These would be compounds of calcium (such as hydroxyapatite, the mineral that hardens bones), mineral compounds composed of physiologic electrolytes (sodium, potassium, magnesium, chloride), phosphorus compounds (probably phosphates) and oxides or other oxidized products of the trace metals (iron, copper, iodine, and very small quantities of a few other metals). I presume there may be some tar-like residues of incomplete oxidation of carbon-based macromolecules, but I could not hazard a guess as to the quantity or specific identity of those.
  #85  
Old 09-16-2011, 02:29 AM
Feyrat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biggirl View Post
You could turn yourself into a diamond. You do have to be cremated first. I think that's kinda cool, especially since I make jewelry. Hell, I may make a setting to be put into before I die.

I doubt my kids would wanna carry me around in that fashion. I'ma ask them.
I dunno, apparently people are pretty into that sort of thing...

I was entirely creeped out when my husband's grandfather died... at the funeral luncheon, they passed around a catalogue from Everlasting Memories and almost all of them (kids, grandkids) ordered some bit of jewelry with grandpa's ashes in it. Most of them got crosses (they're all VERY Christian) and hubby got a bracelet (he's not.)

Like I said, I was hugely creeped out by this... but I do have a little silver box with a pinch of one of my dog's ashes in it that I wear. I dunno. It seems different to do it with grandpa...
  #86  
Old 09-16-2011, 02:36 AM
Fear Itself is offline
Cecil's Inner Circle
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Flavortown
Posts: 36,028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feyrat View Post
I dunno, apparently people are pretty into that sort of thing...

I was entirely creeped out when my husband's grandfather died... at the funeral luncheon, they passed around a catalogue from Everlasting Memories and almost all of them (kids, grandkids) ordered some bit of jewelry with grandpa's ashes in it. Most of them got crosses (they're all VERY Christian) and hubby got a bracelet (he's not.)

Like I said, I was hugely creeped out by this... but I do have a little silver box with a pinch of one of my dog's ashes in it that I wear. I dunno. It seems different to do it with grandpa...
At my wife's celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn't get to travel as much as she wished.

They were all gone by the end of the party.
  #87  
Old 09-16-2011, 03:40 AM
Feyrat is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear Itself View Post
At my wife's celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn't get to travel as much as she wished.

They were all gone by the end of the party.
That's sweet, actually...
  #88  
Old 09-16-2011, 08:03 AM
Dangerosa is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Twin Cities, Minnesota
Posts: 22,555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fear Itself View Post
At my wife's celebration of life, I filled small envelopes with about a teaspoon of her ashes and put about 80 of them out in a bowl. I asked anyone who was so inclined, to take them to some warm, beautiful destination and a spread them, as she didn't get to travel as much as she wished.

They were all gone by the end of the party.
My mother 'wants' to be cremated, thrown into a Fed Ex envelope, and travel the world.

Instead she is getting buried next to her mother in law.
  #89  
Old 09-16-2011, 08:53 AM
RTFirefly is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Maryland
Posts: 39,911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimera View Post
I think the whole idea of injecting dead bodies with preservatives, then burying them in ornate boxes, sometimes inside concrete vaults....is hideously grotesque.
Me too.

Even though I don't share the sentiment, it seems that other people get some comfort from seeing the deceased's body, as done up by the mortician, and the part about preservatives is kinda necessary if you're going to do that.

But if my body must be buried, I'd want it to be buried in a box that will decompose fairly quickly, and the box be buried in a hole in the earth with no concrete liner or anything like that. Hell, put a small wood box in my casket containing a colony of termites; after my body is buried, they can chew their way out of the small box, and then start on the casket itself. If they want to chew up my body too, well, I won't be residing in it anymore, so let 'em go to town on it.

Last edited by RTFirefly; 09-16-2011 at 08:53 AM.
  #90  
Old 09-16-2011, 09:31 AM
Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rhiannon8404 View Post
I will be cremated and inurned in the family plot which was purchased by my grandparents in 1961. It's all paid for.
The only reason I'd wish to be buried instead of cremated is because my burial and funeral are all paid for as well. My parents bought burial policies on themselves and their kids back in the 1960s (I was born in '66) through Liberty Mutual. I'm not sure how much they paid- a few hundred dollars each over several years probably- but that policy today is worth thousands of dollars: covers embalming, a cheap metal coffin and the basic services. Liberty Mutual Policy is a HATED phrase by undertakers today because apparently they've lost money on those policies over the years and consequently they are not only non-transferable but you have to present the actual hard copy policy- basically any excuse not to honor it.
  #91  
Old 09-16-2011, 10:33 AM
Rhiannon8404's Avatar
Rhiannon8404 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 8,108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro View Post
The only reason I'd wish to be buried instead of cremated is because my burial and funeral are all paid for as well. My parents bought burial policies on themselves and their kids back in the 1960s (I was born in '66) through Liberty Mutual. I'm not sure how much they paid- a few hundred dollars each over several years probably- but that policy today is worth thousands of dollars: covers embalming, a cheap metal coffin and the basic services. Liberty Mutual Policy is a HATED phrase by undertakers today because apparently they've lost money on those policies over the years and consequently they are not only non-transferable but you have to present the actual hard copy policy- basically any excuse not to honor it.
You can be cremated and buried. That's what "inurned" means. They bury the urn (box) in the plot. My grandparents bought directly from the cemetery, so when we had her inurned there last year they had no way of getting out of it. We did pay extra to have the plaque removed polished and reset, but putting my grandmother's name on it was free.
  #92  
Old 09-16-2011, 10:54 AM
Count Blucher is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Near Baroni&Kelly's Jail.
Posts: 13,666
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nava View Post
SiL's Dad's ashes finally got scattered last August, two years after his death. SiL just got sick of not being allowed to do it because there was always some relative for whom the set date wasn't convenient. One of the lines reported by Mom was "he couldn't be arsed come to the funeral or the cremation, I refuse to be arsed wait for his there-are-children-in-the-room convenience!"

SiL's very nice and all that, but when she gets fed up it's best not to be in her path.
Opposite. Our Drama Queen couldn't bare for the ashes to be scattered in accordance with the deceased's wishes. So, when one one of her daughters 'dated' the funeral directors son, the urn 'disappeared'. To reappear on Drama Queens mantle a month or two later.
Damn family should be on Showtime...
  #93  
Old 09-16-2011, 11:22 AM
bup is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: glenview,il,usa
Posts: 11,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by VOW View Post
How are cremains turned into a gemstone?
I need you to not use the neologism "cremains."

It bothers me on many levels.
  #94  
Old 09-16-2011, 11:29 AM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
To Fear Itself:

Thank you for the description of the breakdown of the body components. I'd actually need more information, though, to determine how much carbon is left in the cremains. The description talks about the "oxidation of the carbon macromolecules," but there are other carbon containing compounds in the body. The extremely high heat does ensure a very thorough breakdown of just about everything, but I don't see how ALL the carbon can be burned away to carbon dioxide. That would mean there is exactly enough oxygen available for totally complete combustion.

I don't have an analysis of the gemstones created by the process, but the other minerals in the cremains could have formed crystals, and probably provide the color. Perhaps carbon is even added to the sample--you really don't send very much to the company to make a gemstone. Anyway, I'd do a bit more research before I'd dismiss the whole thing as bunk.

To RTFirefly:

The time is NOW for you to do research on cemetery requirements. If you wish to forego the concrete liner, you might have trouble finding a final resting place. Many cemeteries require this. The liner keeps the ground above the grave from collapsing. After the casket is placed and the concrete box is closed up, the cemetery maintenance wants to shovel the dirt back and roll the sod over. They mow and water, and that's about IT. Cave-ins would prevent the mowers from doing a quick job of keeping the acres of grass clipped.

My idea of being buried on my land just keeps sounding better and better.


~VOW
  #95  
Old 09-16-2011, 11:34 AM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
To bup:

I'm not crazy about the word "cremains" either. However, this is a tidy little term fashioned by the funeral industry to describe the stuff that is in the box after you have Grandpa cremated. People traditionally call them "ashes," but technically, they are NOT.

Once the process is finished, there are big and little pieces of the body that are composed completely of minerals. They certainly are NOT the light and fluffy debris you sweep out of the fireplace. These pieces are placed in a drum and reduced to powder, and then put in the box or the urn or whatever you choose to hold Grandpa. It's HEAVY. And it is the consistency of sand.

If you have a better word than "cremains," I'd be happy to hear it!


~VOW
  #96  
Old 09-16-2011, 12:41 PM
gwendee is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Charm City
Posts: 3,540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eve View Post
I am surprised at all the graveyard hate! Have you ever visited Woodlawn or Green-Wood in New York? Lovely park-like cemeteries, chock full of gorgeous sculpture and historic monuments. I also love the old graveyards of Europe and New England: they are history lessons and art lessons in one. I also cut through the local graveyard near my house on the way to the market, and read the tombstones and look at the photos attached--fascinating.

I won't wind up in a cemetery, but I love 'em.
I also love them, and want the ones we already have to be preserved and maintained, but don't think we need to expand them. There are better alternatives (I think, I have no idea what the environmental impact of cremation is)

The evolution of head stone styles fascinates me. It's fun to me to walk through a whole cemetary and try and ascertain the relationships. (Hmm, is this beloved wife and mother the daughter of the pair two rows back? That sort of thing.)

My family hasn't buried anyone since my great-grandfather died in 1963. We're cremators. I do intend to do as much donation as I can before going that route.
  #97  
Old 09-16-2011, 12:46 PM
Skald the Rhymer is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 27,560
Quote:
Originally Posted by bup View Post
I need you to not use the neologism "cremains."

It bothers me on many levels.
May I ask why? It's seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It's more compact than "ashes of the deceased," less ambiguous than "ashes" alone, and distinct in meaning from "remains."
  #98  
Old 09-16-2011, 01:06 PM
bup is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: glenview,il,usa
Posts: 11,905
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer View Post
May I ask why? It's seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It's more compact than "ashes of the deceased," less ambiguous than "ashes" alone, and distinct in meaning from "remains."
Yeah, but number 1, it's such an obvious neologism, like 'pro-active,' 'neologism,' and the like, which I dislike in general, but especially in the realm of dealing with the dead; number 2, it sounds like something you'd put in coffee; and number 3, it's icky in the way 'panties' is, or 'moist' is for some people. It's a visceral reaction. I mentally recoil.

I think 'ashes' is generally fine, and not likely to cause confusion.

In fact, I think I'll start a poll.

Last edited by bup; 09-16-2011 at 01:08 PM.
  #99  
Old 09-16-2011, 01:23 PM
VOW is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: NE AZ
Posts: 3,055
Figuring out the family relationships in cemeteries is like a puzzle. I found one grouping where a man was obviously buried between his wife and his mother. I thought, "Geez, the poor guy isn't gonna get rest even when he's dead!"


~VOW
  #100  
Old 09-16-2011, 08:02 PM
Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 36,260
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer View Post
May I ask why? It's seems a fine coinage to me: easily pronounced and clear in meaning. It's more compact than "ashes of the deceased," less ambiguous than "ashes" alone, and distinct in meaning from "remains."
And also more correct, since "ashes" are actually dust from crushed bones.
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:31 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@straightdope.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Copyright 2019 STM Reader, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017