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  #151  
Old 09-09-2019, 09:54 PM
Little Nemo is offline
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Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
Where do you get the ideas for your art?
Just matter-of-factly say "Pact with Satan."
  #152  
Old 09-09-2019, 10:03 PM
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I've been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question.
So, can you?
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It may be because I'm a drooling simpleton with the attention span of a demented gnat, but would you mind explaining everything in words of one syllable. 140 chars max.
  #153  
Old 09-09-2019, 11:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Little Nemo View Post
Just matter-of-factly say "Pact with Satan."
I often get asked where my Artistic ideas come from. If I'm feeling silly I say "I steal them". Sometimes I try to be mysterious and say they come to me while I meditate. It seems no one wants more info on those answers.
,

Last edited by Beckdawrek; 09-09-2019 at 11:26 PM.
  #154  
Old 09-09-2019, 11:28 PM
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When my late husband and I were living in the Carolinas, we’d get “So which one of you ...ahh... errr...is the woman?” Neither! We’re both men!

Working in various offices, I apparently looked like someone who’d know where to find pens, toner, headset batteries, etc. The stock answer was “Ask your manager or your admin. There are seven business lines on this floor, and they all have their own supplies.”
  #155  
Old 09-10-2019, 12:09 AM
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As already mentioned, when dressed in a recognisable outfit, like cycling/motorbike gear, "Did you come by bike?" "No, I enjoy running around in spandex/leathers". Yes, I know it's a conversation starter, like "How do you do? (I don't really need an answer)", but it couldn't hurt to try something better.


The "Do you know x" if people hear you're from another town or company. The odd thing is: I think this myself... We visited a restaurant in my old town during the weekend and was wondering if I'd bump into someone I know.
I used to manage a franchise car rental agency.
The manager of the branch in the next town over was Lucas, from Brazil.

Our standard joke, whenever we got a customer from Brazil was ...
Do you know Lucas?

Until one day I asked the question - and got a yes....
  #156  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:03 AM
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My wife has dark hair and eyes, and tans well. I'm pale: red/blond, blue eyes, freckles / burns instantly when outdoors anywhere south of Seattle. When my son was a baby he was similarly pale, blue-eyed, etc. Whenever I had him out and about, nobody questioned my being his father. (He was a "mini me.") But when wifey had him out and about, hiking, shopping, whatever, people would sometimes assume she was his nanny. This got her irritated (and concerned that someone might take him away).
I think this happens fairly often to mixed-race families. One of my best friends as a kid was half Irish, half Sri Lankan, and she was light skinned, but her brothers were quite dark, and her Mum was always being asked if they were adopted. And another friend years later was a very dark skinned Black British woman with a husband as pale as you and their children resembled him a lot, so people generally assumed she was the nanny, which she understandably found pretty hurtful.

It's understandable that people get confused sometimes, but vocalising it is just rude.
  #157  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:57 AM
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Working in various offices, I apparently looked like someone who’d know where to find pens, toner, headset batteries, etc.
Somewhat similarly, I used to go to the local horse race track after work. Work required a jacket and tie, which definitely marked me apart from the usual racetrack denizens.

As a result, I got a lot of questions from people who thought I worked for the track. Many questions, I could easily handle ("Hey, you look like you work here; where's the men's room?"), but on some, I had to admit that I could not help ("Hey, you look like you work here; any inside tips?"). Buddy, I don't work here, and if I had any inside tips, I'd keep them to myself.
  #158  
Old 09-10-2019, 07:45 AM
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Is there something unique about that piece of music that makes it impossible to play with a guitar?
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Originally Posted by jaycat View Post
I've been playing guitar for 50 years and guess I should count myself fortunate that no one has ever asked me that question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melbourne View Post
50 years is Back Before the Internet. But now, if you wanted to learn the guitar chords for Piano Man, you'd just go to youtube or tabs.ultimate-guitar.com
Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
Or, here you go (Youtube lesson.) Note one of the comments: "Just had someone ask me if I played Piano Man...thanks for helping me expand my repertoire Marty!!

Yes, I know (or assume) the original post was a joke, but despite the song being about a piano player at a bar, I think it still sounds fine played on guitar (actually, listening to various acoustic guitar covers on Youtube, I may prefer it on guitar, but I'm not particularly fond of the song itself, despite piano being my main instrument.)
FTR, it wasn't a joke. I have had requests to play the song while playing live or at a party,etc.. I've been playing over 40 years so I've played it before, it's not particularly difficult and it would only take me a minute to deduce a chord progression (no Youtube or tab sites needed, thanks!)

I find it's a dumb question because it's not a song that's really written for guitar. Could you do it, sure. but honestly, I'm a little above just strumming the accompaniment chords while trying to usher the crowd through all the lyrics.

...and I'm not against playing a "piano song" on guitar. I've played songs like "Desperado", "Let it Be","Freebird" "Walking in Memphis" "That's Just the Way It Is" and many others. "Piano Man" just doesn't work as well.
  #159  
Old 09-10-2019, 07:55 AM
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I can't think of any really stupid questions I've been asked more than once, but I once met a Gettysburg park ranger who shared some of his favorite dumb questions from over the years:

"Did the soldiers take cover behind the monuments during the battle?" (Uh, no, the monuments were built after the war)
"Why were so many battles fought in national parks?" (The battlefields became national parks later)
"Did the Americans win this battle?" (Yes, they did; they also lost it)
  #160  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir View Post
I can't think of any really stupid questions I've been asked more than once, but I once met a Gettysburg park ranger who shared some of his favorite dumb questions from over the years:

"Did the soldiers take cover behind the monuments during the battle?" (Uh, no, the monuments were built after the war)
"Why were so many battles fought in national parks?" (The battlefields became national parks later)
"Did the Americans win this battle?" (Yes, they did; they also lost it)
Wait, I heard another one regarding monuments are Gettysburg. Maybe you posted this elsewhere on SDMB??

Tourist seeing cannons pointed at a high angle: "Were these used as anti-aircraft guns during the battle?"
  #161  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:22 AM
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"Are you sure we've never met?"

Apparently I look like someone everyone knows. I constantly meet new people who insist we've met, even after we run down all of the possibilities. It got so bad that for a few years I'd answer the question by giving the person my thousand-yard stare, and say, "you ever done time?"

That freaked a few people out pretty badly, so my gf asked that I stop it.
  #162  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:31 AM
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Don't remember that one, Limmin.

LOL, kayaker. Steven Wright jokes about saying to hitchhikers he's just picked up, "So, how far did you think you were going...?"
  #163  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:37 AM
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I internally scream in chromosomal anguish every time someone asks where my son's red hair comes from. It's like nobody has ever heard of recessive genes.

Explaining the basics of inheritance is a waste of time (and borderline rude), so we're coming up with snarky joke answers. Bottle of Clairol, ate too many carrots during pregnancy, demonspawn, adoption agency, etc.
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  #164  
Old 09-10-2019, 10:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Melbourne View Post
50 years is Back Before the Internet. But now, if you wanted to learn the guitar chords for Piano Man, you'd just go to youtube or tabs.ultimate-guitar.com
I think you are misinterpreting my post.
  #165  
Old 09-10-2019, 12:44 PM
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"Are you sure we've never met?"

Apparently I look like someone everyone knows. I constantly meet new people who insist we've met, even after we run down all of the possibilities. It got so bad that for a few years I'd answer the question by giving the person my thousand-yard stare, and say, "you ever done time?"

That freaked a few people out pretty badly, so my gf asked that I stop it.
"Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
  #166  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:11 PM
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“Is the road closed?”


It doesn’t matter if every square inch of the road is covered in cones (and believe me you can’t leave 6 inches open or someone will try to drive through). It doesn’t matter if there is a police car with lights on across the road. It doesn’t matter if there is a giant “road closed” sign. It doesn’t even matter if they can see there is a giant hole or fire trucks blocking the entire road and no physical way of getting through unless the car can fly. Someone will always ask “is the road closed?”

Last edited by Loach; 09-10-2019 at 01:13 PM.
  #167  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:15 PM
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Wait, I heard another one regarding monuments are Gettysburg. Maybe you posted this elsewhere on SDMB??

Tourist seeing cannons pointed at a high angle: "Were these used as anti-aircraft guns during the battle?"

Well, damn. This seemed like a perfect set-up for a joke about the Confederate Air Force (a living history group that preserves and flies WWII aircraft), but they’ve apparently changed their name.
  #168  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:22 PM
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I run a Pizzeria in St Louis...

The most common (in my opinion STUPID) question I get asked is "How Big is a 14" Pizza" or How big is an 18" pizza"....ummm "14" or 18" inches in diameter, respectively"
Back when I delivered pizza, people were always asking me if I had any extra pizzas I could sell them. Extremely rarely I would end up with an extra, but it was so rare you're just wasting your time asking.

Not to mention the fact that I could take home the extra pizza for free at the end of the day.

Last edited by furryman; 09-10-2019 at 01:24 PM.
  #169  
Old 09-10-2019, 01:46 PM
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“Is the road closed?”


It doesn’t matter if every square inch of the road is covered in cones (and believe me you can’t leave 6 inches open or someone will try to drive through). It doesn’t matter if there is a police car with lights on across the road. It doesn’t matter if there is a giant “road closed” sign. It doesn’t even matter if they can see there is a giant hole or fire trucks blocking the entire road and no physical way of getting through unless the car can fly. Someone will always ask “is the road closed?”
Hope springs eternal...
  #170  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:19 PM
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Wait, I heard another one regarding monuments are Gettysburg. Maybe you posted this elsewhere on SDMB??

Tourist seeing cannons pointed at a high angle: "Were these used as anti-aircraft guns during the battle?"
No one is that stupid.
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  #171  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:27 PM
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No one is that stupid.
you must not deal with the public very much
  #172  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:27 PM
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No one is that stupid.
https://time.com/5620936/donald-trum...-war-airports/
  #173  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:28 PM
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A lot more time has passed since the invention of the anti-aircraft gun than has passed between the civil war and the anti-aircraft gun!
  #174  
Old 09-10-2019, 02:54 PM
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After being told I have boy/girl twins: "Are they identical?"

(Granted it's possible once they are old enough for gender and biological sex to be incongruent, but I've been asked since they were infants.)

Same question with the two kids standing right in front of them. I know some people might have trouble discerning differences in features, but one of them is about 4 inches taller than the other. Are they thinking we just don't feed one of them?
  #175  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:10 PM
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"Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"
"And do you like movies about gladiators?"
  #176  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:37 PM
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I run a Pizzeria in St Louis...

The most common (in my opinion STUPID) question I get asked is "How Big is a 14" Pizza" or How big is an 18" pizza"....ummm "14" or 18" inches in diameter, respectively"
I've asked how big is the Small Pizza and how big is the Large Pizza, and been told they are 6 and 8 slices respectively.
  #177  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:43 PM
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No, that is a dumb question. That's like asking, "What flavor is the pineapple soda?"
I disagree. Many things come in nominal sizes that aren't the real sizes. There's nothing on an 18" television screen that measures 18". A "quarter pounder" burger weighs less than a quarter pound (unless you eat it raw). How are people to know exactly how big is a 16" pizza? I can picture what I expect when I order one, but I've never taken a tape measure to it. Have you?
  #178  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:45 PM
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At the grocery store I often buy a large number of identical items, such as six-packs of seltzer water. They allow customers to leave most of them in the cart and put just one up on the conveyor for scanning. I used to say "I have a total of # of this item", and they would ALWAYS ask, "Including this one?" So I gave up and now I say "I have a total of # of this item including this one."
  #179  
Old 09-10-2019, 04:50 PM
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I've asked how big is the Small Pizza and how big is the Large Pizza, and been told they are 6 and 8 slices respectively.
So if you order pizza regularly, you know a 6 pizza is a small, about 8", and an 8 slice pizza is medium, about 10".


Quote:
Originally Posted by Napier View Post
I disagree. Many things come in nominal sizes that aren't the real sizes. There's nothing on an 18" television screen that measures 18". A "quarter pounder" burger weighs less than a quarter pound (unless you eat it raw). How are people to know exactly how big is a 16" pizza? I can picture what I expect when I order one, but I've never taken a tape measure to it. Have you?
No, but I can guess the size of something by eyeballing it. 16" is about the distance from my elbow to the tip of my middle finger.

Last edited by cochrane; 09-10-2019 at 04:55 PM.
  #180  
Old 09-10-2019, 05:05 PM
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I disagree. Many things come in nominal sizes that aren't the real sizes. There's nothing on an 18" television screen that measures 18".
Try measuring the diagonal.
  #181  
Old 09-10-2019, 08:21 PM
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Do artists in general perceive this as a stupid question? I am not an artist, in fact art (visual, specifically) may as well be magic to me. I have no idea how an artist does what they do nor where they may get inspiration. It is, however, a fascinating subject to me. I am one who asks that very question.
Yeah, it's a nonsense question. The only real answer is "I look at things and hear things and feel things, then sometimes I think things because of them" and that's disappointing to the type of person who asks.
  #182  
Old 09-10-2019, 09:04 PM
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When I was a prof in Computer Science I got some really dumb questions. People would even come up to me during tests to asks for clarification. The one that sticks out the most:

"Is zero an even number?"

(The question would be to solve a problem for all such-and-such of even length or something.)

This is for 3rd and 4th year Computer Science majors. You know, the field with binary numbers. Where the test of an integer being even is incredibly freaking simple.

Once after this happened, I asked FtGKid1 if zero was an even number. He said "Yes." I asked "Why?" "Because one is odd." He was four at the time and college students didn't get this.

I told my fellow profs about this so some started putting questions like this on tests because they didn't believe it. And got the some question.
I'm sorry, that's not a dumb question. Not being a mathematician, I wouldn't be surprised if there are contexts in which zero is even, contexts in which it is odd, and contexts in which it's neither. It's just nothing.
  #183  
Old 09-11-2019, 06:32 AM
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I find it's a dumb question because it's not a song that's really written for guitar.
It's written for percussion string instrument very similar to the guitar, and doesn't depend on complex chords or arpeggios that are tied to the instrument. It's a simple guitar song played on the piano.
  #184  
Old 09-11-2019, 06:33 AM
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Try measuring the diagonal.
Bad example. Better example: 1" pipe.
  #185  
Old 09-11-2019, 07:43 AM
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A lot more time has passed since the invention of the anti-aircraft gun than has passed between the civil war and the anti-aircraft gun!
It was only 5 years between the civil war and the invention of the anti-aircraft gun.
  #186  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:18 AM
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"What's that lake over there?" Twice. On the same day. By native Wisconsinites. On the Milwaukee lakefront.
  #187  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:44 AM
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Ok, no one but Individual Number One.
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  #188  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:50 AM
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I internally scream in chromosomal anguish every time someone asks where my son's red hair comes from. It's like nobody has ever heard of recessive genes.

Explaining the basics of inheritance is a waste of time (and borderline rude), so we're coming up with snarky joke answers. Bottle of Clairol, ate too many carrots during pregnancy, demonspawn, adoption agency, etc.
1.Bro's hair gets reddish in the summer. I think it hasn't happened for a few years now, but when he was younger he was asked quite a few times "why do you dye your hair?" Several people simply refused to believe that reddish-brown hair exists in nature.
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Last edited by Nava; 09-11-2019 at 08:51 AM.
  #189  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:51 AM
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It was only 5 years between the civil war and the invention of the anti-aircraft gun.
Well, the Union did use observation balloons, and the Confederates did occasionally try to shoot them down with artillery. Not at Gettysburg, but in a loose sense, there was some use of anti-aircraft fire during the Civil War.
  #190  
Old 09-11-2019, 08:55 AM
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At the grocery store I often buy a large number of identical items, such as six-packs of seltzer water. They allow customers to leave most of them in the cart and put just one up on the conveyor for scanning. I used to say "I have a total of # of this item", and they would ALWAYS ask, "Including this one?" So I gave up and now I say "I have a total of # of this item including this one."
Does it include the ones in the cart?

Regards,
Shodan
  #191  
Old 09-11-2019, 09:09 AM
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What does "total" mean again?
  #192  
Old 09-11-2019, 09:43 AM
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What does "total" mean again?
It's a kind of cereal.


Price check on Total!
  #193  
Old 09-11-2019, 10:48 AM
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What does "total" mean again?
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Originally Posted by Thudlow Boink View Post
It's a kind of cereal.
But that's not important right now.
  #194  
Old 09-11-2019, 10:55 AM
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Try measuring the diagonal.
TV sizes have been deceptively labeled for decades.
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  #195  
Old 09-11-2019, 11:52 AM
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I'm sorry, that's not a dumb question. Not being a mathematician, I wouldn't be surprised if there are contexts in which zero is even, contexts in which it is odd, and contexts in which it's neither. It's just nothing.
What the what?

Not up to date on the last several thousand years of Math, I take it.
  #196  
Old 09-11-2019, 12:06 PM
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I am thin. Okay, downright skinny. At least once a week. someone asks "What do you eat?
"

I always answer "I have a very unique diet. When I get hungry, I eat." When they say "Yeah, but what do you eat?" I always answer "Whatever I feel like eating."
  #197  
Old 09-11-2019, 02:37 PM
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"What's that lake over there?" Twice. On the same day. By native Wisconsinites. On the Milwaukee lakefront.
"Lake Mendota".
  #198  
Old 09-11-2019, 02:50 PM
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People asked my son, a lot, "Where'd you get all that red hair?" He did have red hair, and he had a lot of it, and I realize this is more of an observation than an actual question. But it happened a lot. He had a few different answers. "Target" was one. "Out of a bottle" was another. I also had a few different answers that I might put in, like, "it came with his head," and "it came with his temper." I never came right out and said, "Hey, I'm his mom and I'm standing right here, look at ME," because in fact his hair was a hell of lot redder than mine ever was.

But it's like asking a tall person "How's the weather up there," it's not so much a stupid question but it's stupid to ask it, not to mention unoriginal, and how are you supposed to answer that? Like, why would they say that?

Fake edit: I see that garygnu had the same experience. Apparently people don't think red hair is a real color. Nobody ever asked me that about the blond kids.
  #199  
Old 09-11-2019, 03:10 PM
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I am thin. Okay, downright skinny. At least once a week. someone asks "What do you eat?
"

I always answer "I have a very unique diet. When I get hungry, I eat." When they say "Yeah, but what do you eat?" I always answer "Whatever I feel like eating."
I say, "I don't! I'm starving!"
  #200  
Old 09-11-2019, 03:51 PM
begbert2 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Idaho
Posts: 13,249
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saintly Loser View Post
I'm sorry, that's not a dumb question. Not being a mathematician, I wouldn't be surprised if there are contexts in which zero is even, contexts in which it is odd, and contexts in which it's neither. It's just nothing.
Being a pedant, I'll note that there are contexts where zero definitely isn't nothing. And contexts where it is. And contexts where 0 is 0 and -1 is, essentially, nothing.

But seriously, zero will never be odd. It will either be even, or a placeholder for a special situation where it's not intended to be interpreted as a number at all. (Like when it means 'nothing'.)
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