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Old 08-12-2019, 07:57 AM
Dinsdale is offline
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Will you turn down that blasted (wedding) music?!


Okay, this aging rocker is now officially old.

Between one of my kids and 4 nieces/nephews, I will have attended 5 weddings from last Thanksgiving through the upcoming Labor Day. All are what I would consider large but not huge - somewhere between 120-170 guests, in various venues, and with DJs. I am forming all manner of opinions as to what I like/dislike about how weddings are conducted. But what I am posting about today is the apparent trend for DJs to play EXTREMELY LOUDLY! And to increase their volume as the evening progresses.

I remember when I was a kid/young man in the Chicago area, most weddings were held in banquet halls. Most weddings had live bands, and it was common to see the older relatives sitting in chairs out in the lobby, talking, and complaining about how loud the music was (and that they didn't play any music that was good for dancing!) Well, I am now one of those old relatives. What is worst, several of these recent weddings have been held at non-traditional venues, where there was no lobby or other place to escape from the noise.

I'm not trying to dictate how young people style their weddings. Personally, my wife and I love to dance, but have difficulty enjoying ourselves moving to the thump thump that the DJs play. But the younger folk seem to enjoy it. (I guess I would appreciate if they threw us a bone, and tossed in the occasional swing, polka or - GASP - cha cha or foxtrot! )

But weddings are also places to catch up with friends and family - and make new friends. And my days of enjoying shouting into someone's ear to be heard over the music are well behind me. It is frustrating when weddings are held at venues that lack a comfortable place to sit and talk away from the loud music.

Anyone else notice a trend to louder music at events such as weddings, or is this just a common complaint of people as they age? Do people (young or old) enjoy music that loud at events such as weddings? Is it more enjyable than it would be if it were slightly quieter?

It might be interesting if folk would post their (approximate?) age when responding. I'm 58. Now get off my lawn!
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Old 08-12-2019, 08:07 AM
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I remember a funny moment on The Osbournes. Kelly's sweet 16 birthday party. They had hired a Indy band. Ozzy is looking bored as usual. Kelly asks how he likes the music. "It's Crap!" is Ozzy's response.

The Prince of Darkness unhappy with his teen daughters music.

I haven't particularly enjoyed most of the younger people's music in a long time. It's harder to tolerate loud music that I already dislike.

I do my best to keep a smile on my face and enjoy the young couple's wedding. It's their special day. Not mine.

Last edited by aceplace57; 08-12-2019 at 08:08 AM.
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Old 08-12-2019, 08:19 AM
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When my niece got married 3 or 4 years ago, it was in a fairly small venue with a VERY LOUD DJ. It made no sense - the sound was physically painful, and even at half the volume, it would have easily been heard across the dance floor and even into the adjacent room. Meanwhile, no one could converse. I'd have been ticked even if all the music was my favorite.

I don't understand it. It's not like they're being paid by the decibel.
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Old 08-12-2019, 08:37 AM
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The worst of the group so far was in a barn in Austin TX in July. Lovely wedding, but the barn was the only air conditioned space, and it was 95F - steamy even late into the night! Your options were to be in the cacophonous barn, or outside dripping sweat. Thank god, dress was casual. But we left early - as we did again this past weekend.
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Old 08-12-2019, 10:00 AM
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Have you considered it’s to drive off the oldsters, so the young ones can really let loose, and rage on till dawn?
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Old 08-12-2019, 10:34 AM
blondebear is offline
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Even Pete Townshend has issues with loud wedding music. In this clip, he talks about his experience at the Valencia Hotel in La Jolla, where the guitarist had "a f**king ego problem"

Last edited by blondebear; 08-12-2019 at 10:35 AM.
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Old 08-12-2019, 10:39 AM
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I haven't noticed it at weddings, but a lot of restaurants, (I'm looking at you Las Vegas) take "louder is better" to the extreme. Yeah, I'm old too
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Old 08-12-2019, 02:13 PM
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I'm almost certain that the volume control on the amps can be turned below whatever it is set at. Anyone consider asking the DJ/restaurant/planner (if present) to turn it down?


But, speaking as a former sound reinforcement person, it is not unheard of (sorry) to turn up the sound steadily during a performance to compensate for the audience's ears getting fatigued by (used to) the volume level.
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Old 08-12-2019, 02:15 PM
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I'm almost certain that the volume control on the amps can be turned below whatever it is set at. Anyone consider asking the DJ/restaurant/planner (if present) to turn it down?
I've asked at restaurants. They refuse to comply.
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Old 08-12-2019, 02:44 PM
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Wow, great customer service! Sorry to hear that.
(I was only with a group that made that request at a restaurant once, and management complied so my expectations based on personal history may be slanted.)
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Old 08-13-2019, 05:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aceplace57 View Post
I remember a funny moment on The Osbournes. Kelly's sweet 16 birthday party. They had hired a Indy band. Ozzy is looking bored as usual. Kelly asks how he likes the music. "It's Crap!" is Ozzy's response.

The Prince of Darkness unhappy with his teen daughters music.
I listened to a radio interview with Michael Aday (Meat Loaf). He said he discovered one of his daughter's classes was using "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" as an educational warning about unsafe sex. He was a bit dismayed and I don't remember his exact quote, but it was something like: "I didn't really write it for that purpose."

To the OP: I'm fed up with loud venues and avoid anywhere that I find uncomfortably loud. It's their special day sure, but I didn't sign up to be tortured. I'll leave my gift, wish them well, and head home as early as socially possible (assuming no place to escape to). I'm 62.

Last edited by pullin; 08-13-2019 at 05:59 AM.
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Old 08-13-2019, 07:22 AM
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I used to mix live bands. I don't go anywhere loud without at least one set of musician's earplugs. They are great for most loud events, even noisy restaurants, and there is nothing worse than eagerly going to see a band only to find they have a deaf engineer. Unlike ordinary earplugs which aim to block noise, they are designed to evenly attenuate the sound across the full frequency range. Like just turning down the volume on the TV. And they are pretty cheap for those that like them. They have a little plastic carry case designed to attach to a keyring, so are easy to grab if you decide that the volume means that you need them.
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Old 08-13-2019, 12:25 PM
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Originally Posted by elbows View Post
Have you considered itís to drive off the oldsters, so the young ones can really let loose, and rage on till dawn?
We use it as an excuse to exit at the earliest time without appearing rude. There's always somewhere we'd rather be, so I'm cool with it.
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Old 08-14-2019, 12:00 AM
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Have you considered itís to drive off the oldsters, so the young ones can really let loose, and rage on till dawn?
Hah - I think that was the case at a wedding we went to last November. We left around 8:30 or so, taking the even-older oldsters (bride's grandparents) back to the hotel - in no small part because it was so loud.
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Old 08-14-2019, 07:56 AM
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We use it as an excuse to exit at the earliest time without appearing rude. There's always somewhere we'd rather be, so I'm cool with it.
Yeah - I tend not to like big parties, especially trying to make small talk w/ people I do not know. But most weddings are different to me. My nieces and nephews are all in their 20s-30s, moving along in their careers and relationships. We saw them quite regularly as they were growing up. I would really like the opportunity to hear what these pleasant, intelligent young people and their SOs have to say on so many topics - if only they would turn down the blasted music!

At the wedding in Austin, I was having a very pleasant conversation with one niece - late 20s, engineer, pursuing her master's, recently married to a doctor... Plenty to talk about. But we were both outside in the stifling heat to avoid the noise. After about 20 minutes, when another nephew came out and commented that my shirt was soaking wet and plastered to my skin - just sitting there! - I realized how silly it was, and my wife and I pulled the plug soon thereafter.

The final of this year-o-weddings is the weekend after Labor Day in Chicago. Going to be held in a bar downtown, but I believe they have an outside area. September in Chicago - the weather should be pleasant...
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Old 08-15-2019, 03:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Procrustus View Post
I haven't noticed it at weddings, but a lot of restaurants, (I'm looking at you Las Vegas) take "louder is better" to the extreme. Yeah, I'm old too
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinsdale View Post
Anyone else notice a trend to louder music at events such as weddings, or is this just a common complaint of people as they age? Do people (young or old) enjoy music that loud at events such as weddings? Is it more enjyable than it would be if it were slightly quieter?

It might be interesting if folk would post their (approximate?) age when responding. I'm 58. Now get off my lawn!
I won't go back to restaurants which are too loud. And more than 20 years ago when I got married, we had a cello, flute and violin trio for reception music, no DJ, no dancing. So I'm anyway non-traditional. I'm late 40s and I better not catch on my lawn!
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Old 08-15-2019, 11:45 PM
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I've asked at restaurants. They refuse to comply.
Or if they turn it down, it soon gets turned back up.

In many restaurants, this is due to a design flaw: they have one speaker system (and one volume control) for the whole area, both the dining area & the kitchen. In the kitchen, the background is quite noisy, so the workers have to turn the volume up to hear the music. And the amplifier is usually located somewhere in the kitchen area, so readily accessible to the kitchen workers.

Smarter restaurants have separate volume controls for the dining area & the kitchen, so they can be set to different sound levels. (Or even separate sound systems, so the older diners can have different music than the younger kitchen workers.)
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Old 08-19-2019, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinsdale View Post
Anyone else notice a trend to louder music at events such as weddings, or is this just a common complaint of people as they age? Do people (young or old) enjoy music that loud at events such as weddings? Is it more enjyable than it would be if it were slightly quieter?

It might be interesting if folk would post their (approximate?) age when responding. I'm 58. Now get off my lawn!
I'm 56 -and I don't think it's any louder than it was when I got married 32 years ago. But it annoys me more now and the venues are different. Most of the weddings I've gone to recently are not in the catering halls of my youth, where there would be four weddings going on at a time and the lobby was insulated from the loud music. Now, when I go to those venues, it's for retirement parties organized by my contemporaries- and the music is just as loud. As is the music at parties organized by my 78 year old mother's friends. I think it's the dancers who like the music loud- and they aren't trying to talk while they're dancing.

Last edited by doreen; 08-19-2019 at 01:03 PM.
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Old 08-20-2019, 03:00 PM
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I love rock, I love metal, I like it loud. But so many venues now seem to play music ear-splittingly loud. I'm not sure if I've changed or the venues have.
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Old 08-20-2019, 03:12 PM
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I love rock, I love metal, I like it loud. But so many venues now seem to play music ear-splittingly loud. I'm not sure if I've changed or the venues have.
I agree and I'm not even old yet. I gave up trying to see my favorite bands live in my 20s without earplugs, as I'd walk out feeling actually deaf, and some bands felt like they were drilling into my head. I got the fancy ones that don't ask references and I still come away from these places feeling slightly deaf. I haven't attended a lot of weddings recently, so I can't remark there in particular, but in general music gets played way too loudly for me, and I have no idea how other people put up with it. I already have a sort of sound processing problem where it's difficult for me to understand language over the telephone or in songs, so trying to listen to someone over background noise like this is near impossible for me. I spend a lot of time awkwardly smiling and nodding.

Last edited by Macca26; 08-20-2019 at 03:14 PM.
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